The Remains
by jbirdpuff
Summary: The Second Wizarding War ends way sooner than anticipated and everyone in the order is dead save one Hermione Granger. Severus Snape in an effort to fulfill Dumbledore's dying instructions, sends her back in time to the beginnings of the first Wizarding War. Eventual Sirimione, Minor Remione. COMPLETE
1. A Miscalculation

**AN: **So I decided to start this story on a whim seeing as the last time I wrote fanfiction was probably like sixth grade, but I have been thinking about this story non-stop and am a total sucker for Sirimione. This is going to be a heck of a slow-burn my friends. And it's going to be pretty dark. This chapter is pretty short and I guaranty quick updates. I am too excited about this story to take a long time.

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own anything.

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**14 June 1975**

When Albus Dumbledore called an emergency Order of the Phoenix meeting on that fateful day in June, Everyone in attendance knew what it meant. The rumors of the escalating war, and its consequences were flitting around the wizarding world with cut throat precision. Voldemort was rising to power. Muggles, Muggle-borns, and Blood Traitors were being tortured and murdered. It couldn't be ignored anymore.

They were meeting in a safe house, which had been acting as Order headquarters, just outside of London that evening, and there was a somber and thick tension in the air. Even the youngest members (amongst them recent Hogwarts graduates Fabian and Gideon Prewett) knew that whatever they were meeting for tonight, wasn't a joking matter.

They were gathered in an overly large rectangular dining room that was completely barren except for the oblong wooden table directly in the center that could seat twenty and a dingy, ash covered fireplace that screamed disuse. There were around forty people in the room; those who hadn't been fortunate enough to snatch a chair were standing against the wall. There was a quiet murmur amongst the occupants, but this was immediately hushed when there was a sudden crack and blaze of green flame.

Albus Dumbledore didn't waste any time in gliding to the head of the table and glancing around room at his most trusted members. The twinkle in his eye, though slightly dimmer than usual was present as he scanned the room. The expressions on everyone's faces were a mix of nervousness and blatant curiosity.

"I'm sure everyone present is wondering on why I have called such a last minute meeting on this night. I hope you are all well," he started.

Someone in the back snorted and stepped forward. Alastor Moody stepped in his usual brusqueness demanded that Dumbledore skip the pleasantries and explain himself.

"As you wish, Alastor." Dumbledore paused for a moment and seemed to consider his next words carefully. He pulled a pocket watch from a fold in his robes and checked it before returning his attention to the people before him. "In five minutes we will be receiving a missive from a trusted individual in regards to how to proceed with this war."

"Professor Dumbledore, with all due respect, I have no plans of sitting here and listening to your vague explanations. Speak bluntly, if you will," said a woman sitting poshly at the opposite end of the table. Her husband standing behind her gently placed a hand on her shoulder, but her stern expression did not waver.

"Very well, Dorea. As you all may have guessed, full-blown war is about to break out in the wizarding world. I have spent many a night pondering a way to ensure that there is a favorable outcome for us, and in conclusion I have decided to create a failsafe of sorts. The missive we will receive tonight, is that failsafe. If the war ends favorably the failsafe will be nothing of worry. If not than it may very well be reason to change the entire course of the Order. I imagine it will come in the form of a letter," he finished with a curious look in his eye.

"And where, pray tell, will this failsafe be coming from, Albus?" Minerva McGonagall's sharp eyes were examining the man with a calculating look.

"Ah… It is not a question of where, Minerva, but when." The twinkle was back in full force as Minerva's face became awash with righteous indignation.

"Please tell me you are not playing with time! This is not something to be trifled with! Bad things happen to witches and wizards who meddle!"

As gasps and shocked words washed through the group, Dumbledore calmly checked his pocket watch again before straightening and interlocking his fingers behind his back. He ignored Minerva's continued onslaught of the rules of time and stared at a blank spot in front of him on the tabletop.

"I imagine we have just a few seconds."

The Order was trying very hard to squash there shock as they all turned to stare at the very spot in front of him.

"This is preposterous, Albus!"

Just as the words left Minerva's mouth a sudden pop and flash of blue light appeared right where every member had been staring. People jumped back and blocked their vision, but when the light faded sitting in that spot wasn't a letter as Dumbledore had guessed. Silence resounded through the old room as they all looked with widened eyes at what appeared to be none other than a young, unconscious teenage girl.

"It seems I have miscalculated," he said, most serenely.

"Albus! What have you done!"

And then for the first time that night, chaos erupted.

* * *

**14 June 1994**

The past few weeks Severus Snape had lingered in the shadows both in the presence of the Order and Death Eater's with a gnawing sense of dread. He couldn't say he was surprised when on this night the Death Eater's had met the Order on the grounds of Hogwarts and slaughtered the entirety of the light of the Wizarding World. He watched as Order member after Order member fell to dark curses and bursting green lights and knew that tonight would be the night that Dumbledore's dying instructions would have to be enacted, but yet he still lingered at the battle.

He watched on with a very small, nearly undetectable smidgen of hope fluttering at the base of his consciousness.

That hope had been dashed as soon as he watched none other than Harry Potter, the boy who lived, fall at the end of Voldemort's wand. Within seconds he'd called the dingy little house elf and apparated directly to the cold dungeons of Malfoy Manor where he knew he'd find what he needed. He walked with more purpose than he'd had in weeks to the very end of the dark and moldy hallway where he quickly removed the wards on a thick steel door and yanked it open.

There in the corner was what looked to be no more than the corpse of a girl. A girl he'd taught for three years before she'd inevitable dropped out to traipse around the world with the Potter and Weasley boy to put an end to the never-ending war.

Hermione Granger was curled in a ball in the corner with her hands and ankles chained together. She was wearing no more than a slip of black fabric bounding her chest, and what seemed to be plain black knickers. She was unbelievable dirty and covered in bruises, cuts, and scars. She'd been captured almost eight months prior by snatchers, and had been kept in this cell ever since. Severus had watched on as they'd tortured her and done unspeakable things in order to uncover the secrets of the Order, but she had been steadfast in her silence.

That had been the deciding factor for him on _how _exactly, he was going to follow Dumbledore's instructions.

He pulled a device from his robes and quickly crossed the room to crouch down in front of her. He wrapped the thin chain around her neck before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a letter that he had penned a few days prior when he'd been weighed down by a sinking feeling that he'd need it. He reached forward to tuck it into her hand when she suddenly sprung up and wrapped her small fingers around his neck.

She was weak from months of sensory deprivation, mistreatment, and starvation, but her grip was iron-like.

"Don't be stupid, girl!" He hissed painfully.

She studied him with her usual sharp curiosity before easing up, so he could breathe easier. She did not release him.

"I'm here on orders from Dumbledore."

"But he's…"

"Yes I'm aware!" He cut her off. "Now release me!"

She gave him one last look before sagging back down against the wall. He gave her a scathing look before holding out the thin yellowing envelope. On the back was a simple, "Albus Dumbledore."

She snatched it and blinked a few times before reading the back and then looked up at him with an air of confusion. He knew he didn't have long before Death Eater's would start to return to the Manor, so he offered her little in explanation.

"The Order… the boy… they're all dead. You are the last hope for the Wizarding World."

Before she could say anything, he pointed his wand at her and stunned her. He quickly reached for the device and turned the dial the proper amount of times. He'd rechecked his calculations thousands of times over the last year to ensure there was no chance for error.

With one last turn he stepped back and watched as the girl disappeared with a flash of light and a quick pop.

He was finally done.

* * *

**14 June 1975**

Albus Dumbledore tried to school his own shock as he stared at the girl in front of him. She had to be fourteen or fifteen at most. Her hair was long and wild like it hadn't seen a brush in years, and even Dumbledore found it hard to look away from all of the deeply disturbing injuries she seemed to be sporting. It took him a couple minutes of simply observing her pale and seemingly lifeless form before he noticed the small yellow envelope clutched tightly in one of her chained hands.

As he reached for it he could hear one of the Order members retching somewhere in the room, as well as Molly Weasley's loud sobs in the corner. He understood this reaction. The girl before him looked like she might very well already be dead. Ignoring the sick feeling settling in his own stomach he finally pulled the letter gently from her grasp and saw that his own name was written on the back in a precise scrawl. He opened it and saw the date at the top.

11 June 1994

Under that in the same neat handwriting it read:

_You, yourself requested I recommend reading the following letter out loud in order to settle any questions the Order may have. _

Albus reread it to be sure. It did not sound like him to request such a thing, but some of the members around him were searching his face with weary eyes. He cleared his throat, and silence returned to the room with exception of Molly's somewhat quieter cries.

"It seems I have instructed myself to read this letter out to this very room."

The weary looks did not waver.

He quickly began, "The girl that no doubt sits before you is a Muggleborn by the name of Hermione Granger. I apologize for the condition she is sure to arrive in. For the past eight months she has been kept as a prisoner in Voldemort's headquarters. As you may have guessed, she has been tortured most gruesomely. Despite this fact, I can say with very little doubt in my mind that this girl is the secret to ending this despicable war."

"But she's just a little girl!" Molly Weasley yelled through her tears. Her hand placed protectively over her swelling abdomen. "How could she possibly…"

"Molly dear, let Dumbledore finish." Arthur Weasley had his hands resting carefully on the woman's shoulders, but a sick look remained on his face, "Please… continue."

"I was informed that in the time I am sending her to the war is still relatively mild, but now it has moved way beyond that. The Death Eater's mame and kill with no reservations or sense of morality. It is a dark and hopeless time. While your children may still not know the truth of war, Miss Granger has faced the worst of it ever since she received her Hogwarts Letter. She is in fact, directly at the center of it. To squash your doubts of the girl in front of you I will tell you that she is inexplicably the brightest and fiercest witch of her age. Despite the months of torture, she never once revealed any of the information on the Order that she keeps in her mind. She is one of the most skilled Occlumens I am yet to meet. In her mind is the secret to the downfall of the Dark Lord. I will close this by simply saying that if you do not heed her knowledge every single person sitting in that room will die."

Albus finished the letter which was signed, "A Trusted Ally of Albus Dumbledore," and returned his stare to the girl in front of him.

Everyone in the room seemed to be stuck in a trance that wasn't broken until Moody stepped forward with a grumble, pointed his wand at her, and before anyone could stop him, hissed out a quick, "Rennervate!"

Everyone jumped as the girl shot up and in an impressive display of wandless magic disarmed Moody and spun in quick circles to survey the room. The look in her eyes was as wild as her hair and she was sitting in a crouch on the tabletop. It wasn't until her gaze and wand landed on Dumbledore that she stopped spinning. Her breathing was ragged and Moody was yelling curses and lunging for her before a man stepped forward and pulled him back.

Her eyes were narrowed and Dumbledore marveled at the fact that she was able to hold herself up at all.

Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breaths in preparation of whatever was to come.

"What have you done to me!"

Her voice seemed to break everyone of the spell and they all watched her with small looks of terror in their eyes. Dumbledore imagined that this Miss Granger represented to them, all of their worst nightmares in regard to the end of this war. She didn't seem to like his hesitation because she emitted a small, almost inhuman growl from the back of her throat and tried again.

"He said your orders! Yours!" Her voice was raspy with disuse. Something must have suddenly registered in her mind and one quick look down at the device resting against her sternum later, the look in her eye changed. She glanced around the room one more time.

As Hermione looked around the room at the mildly recognizable faces around her something seemed to click in her mind. Her entire body was shaking except for her wand arm. That she held unwaveringly as she turned back to the man in front of her who still seemed at a loss of words.

The chains rattled against her skin as she whipped back around.

"Send me back." She'd switched from a scratchy yell to a low and scarily calm voice.

"I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that that has been made wholly impossible."

With this calm emission from Dumbledore, Hermione finally began to register everything that had happened to her in what seemed like a small amount of time. She closed her eyes and tried to remember everything Snape had said before he'd stunned her.

_The Order…_

_The boy… _

_They're all dead… _

There was no question in her mind who the boy was.

Harry.

The reason for her being sent back became abundantly clear in those few seconds she had closed her eyes. The members who still surrounded her seemed to be on the edge of their seats.

_You are the last hope. _

When she opened her eyes she had tears in her eyes but she spoke with a quiet fierceness.

"You want me to kill him."

The room erupted for the umpteenth time that night.

"She's just a girl!"

"Kill him? Voldemort?"

"Can she do it?"

"She should be dead! Look what they've done to her! She should be dead!"

Hermione ignored all of them in favor of staring into the twinkling eyes of her once Headmaster.

She silenced them once again with a strong, "I'll do it."

And then there was yelling again.

"How can we trust her!"

"He said she's the key!"

"There's no possible way."

Her wand was still pointed at Dumbledore when she spoke again, "But I have terms." Dumbledore seemed surprised by this last admission if the small quirk of his eyebrows was anything to go by.

"And what might those be, Miss Granger?"

"Everyone, hush! Listen to the girl." It was Dorea Potter who spoke. She was studying Hermione with unbridled intrigue and an almost sad look in her eye.

"My terms…" Hermione took a moment to gather her thoughts. Now that she understood why she was there her adrenaline was starting to wear off but she continued on. "In my time we fought by your terms. I did everything you said. I trusted you explicitly. In return, I lost everything."

Dumbledore was shocked by the bitterness in her voice.

"The tables are turning now. I can kill Voldemort, but only if you do everything I say. We played by your rules once, and everyone died. So it's my turn now, and I have conditions." There were undertones of a cunning nature in the way Hermione spoke to him. Dumbledore wondered if she might have been a Slytherin in her time or if this quality was born of the war. Everyone looked on with mixtures of awe and fear. "I spent every second of my capture focusing on three things. The first was how you treated every member of the Order as a pawn in your sick game for the greater good, the second was how exactly I was going to kill Voldemort, and the third was maintaining my sanity enough to do so."

Despite her breathless and ragged voice she seemed to command the room's attention. Everyone was too enraptured to even flinch at her repeated and careless use of Voldemort's name.

"Miss Granger, I am not sure what I have done to you to earn this amount of distrust." She showed no sign of hearing him besides the slight narrowing of her eyes. Dumbledore vaguely noticed that Moody's stolen wand was still pointed at his chest.

"So with that said, Albus, my conditions are as follows." Someone in the back scoffed at the way she had addressed the headmaster. "I will _not_ be a simple fountain of knowledge for you. I hold all the information in my mind and am _very _skilled in occlumency so don't bother trying to break in. You will do as a say, _exactly _as I say it or the consequences will be very dire. I am not responsible for giving you every reason for why I have told you to do something. As I once trusted you completely, you must trust me completely."

She paused and he realized she was waiting for his acceptance.

"As you wish," he said with mild reluctance.

"Excellent. That is really the most important condition and the rest will made known at a later time. Now, what is the date?"

"June 14, 1975." It was McGonagall who answered this time, "Miss Granger, may I ask how old you are?"

When her gaze switched to her old professor, for the first time since her surprising arrival she smiled. There was a small amount of affection in her gaze that surprised both McGonagall and all that could see her face. This fierce and demanding _soldier_ (because it had become abundantly clear that that was exactly what she was) was suddenly the beaten and young girl again.

"I am fifteen, Professor."

The sad look in the Professor's eyes seemed to sap up the last of her adrenaline fueled strength and suddenly she was sagging and folding in on herself. Her hand that was clutching the wand moved to clutch at her ribs and the chains that had been forgotten by the all those present made themselves known again.

"Perhaps, Miss Granger, a trip to Saint Mungo's is prudent."

The fierceness returned with a quick, "No!" A second later, "Where's Pomfrey?"

"She's at Hogwarts. Couldn't make it tonight," someone she couldn't identify replied.

If anyone had any doubts about the witch's strength, they were quelled when she lifted herself to cast a hasty nonverbal and corporeal patronus.

What burst from her wand surprised Hermione herself when, instead of the otter that had been her patronus before capture, was instead a large _dragon_.

"Holy shit." Fabian and Gideon Prewett, who until then had remained surprisingly silent, whispered from somewhere in the background.

Hermione pushed through her own pain and shock to say quickly, "Go to Pomfrey, tell her that Dumbledore has requested her presence at the Order meeting. Come quickly and bring supplies to treat a gravely injured patient."

The dragon rubbed its scaled forehead against Hermione's before flapping its large wings and disappearing through a wall.

Before any other fuss could be made Hermione felt darkness once again closing in on her vision. She pressed her still chained hand against her forehead. Right as she lost consciousness the room once again erupted.

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**AN:** So I know this seems like a very confusing and rocky start, but I promise it only goes up from here. PLEASE Review!


	2. A New Family

**AN: **Forgot to mention this may not be the best fanfiction to read if you are a fan of Dumbledore.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

* * *

**14 June 1975**

When Madam Pomfrey arrived via floo it was to complete and utter chaos. Nearly everyone in the room was standing at that point and passed out in the middle of the table was a dirt and blood stained girl.

"What in Merlin's beard is going on!" She shrieked.

Some turned to look at her, but most just continued in their panic.

Her focus narrowed in on the girl, and she rushed to her side. A nervous Molly Weasley had cast a weak diagnostics charm and through her hysterics, was attempting to heal her. Pomfrey pushed her aside and got a good look at the girl. What she saw gave her a better understanding of the hysterics Molly was currently spewing.

With her most commanding voice she yelled, "Everybody out!" To her relief the majority listened save Dumbledore, McGonagall, and a hesitant Charlus Potter. As Pomfrey got to work healing, Dumbledore turned towards Charlus.

"Mr. Potter, was there something I could do for you?" Dumbledore looked at Charlus with knowing eyes. "Perhaps this is in regards to Miss Granger's living situation?"

Charlus despite the shocking and somber night let out a charmed laugh.

"Dumbledore, your ability to know exactly what I am going to say before I have the nerve to say it is astounding."

His mood changed yet again when he looked over his shoulder to the girl still spread on the table. He felt a small amount of relief when he noticed that the chains had finally been removed. She had certainly been a fearsome thing during the meeting, but unconscious and laid out like this he realized just how small she really was. She was the same age as his son.

"Dorea…" He paused to collect himself before turning back to Dumbledore who was regarding him with curious eyes. "She's always wanted a daughter you see." Charlus was about to continue when he was cut off.

"Mr. Potter, I understand that hearing what she has been through might evoke a certain amount of empathy, but I think it is prudent to remind you that these kind of traumas often lead to many issues. In simpler terms, I fear she will not adjust easy to any environment."

Charlus adopted an almost dangerous look in his eye.

"I think she has proven herself to be quite the formidable witch. I doubt that Dorea and myself will be any more difficult to live with than the Dark Lord himself."

McGonagall stepped forward, "Mr. Potter I do believe that if any family would be good for this girl, it would be yours. A loving household is exactly what I believe she needs at the moment, Albus."

"Yes, of course, Minerva." He paused before adding, "We will have to reinforce the wards on your home. I'm sure you understand the importance Miss Granger's safety is to the Order?"

Charlus nodded and added with a smile, "I imagine James and Sirius will take kindly to the role of protective brother."

McGonagall scoffed, "Oh, imagine all the mischief those boys of yours will bring into her life! I am almost reluctant to say, perhaps their pranks and tomfoolery might be a welcome reprieve for her! I assume, Albus, that she will return to Hogwarts in the fall?"

"Yes I imagine that to be the best course of action. When she is recovered I will meet with her to discuss it. Poppy, dear, what is your opinion on her recovery time?"

Madam Pomfrey, who had been working tirelessly behind them gave a sigh. "She is extremely malnourished, has a plethora of internal injuries, and seems to be the recipient of many dark curses. I would be surprised if her mind is intact." She forced a few potions down her throat, and then looked up. "Physically, with exception of the malnutrition, a week or so. Psychologically, I am not sure."

"Could we move her tonight? Dorea went home ahead of me to set up a room and warn the boys."

McGonagall blanched.

"That is offly presumptuous of you, Mr. Potter." Charlus smiled.

"I am sure, you remember how tenacious Dorea can be, Professor." Poppy stepped back and looked at Charlus.

"She needs to be moved somewhere. I do not see the point in moving her anywhere else." Charlus clapped his hands. "I will need you to open your floo to me for the next few weeks. I'm afraid I will need to maintain a close eye on her."

"Of course. Tilly will be thrilled to have someone to hover over."

"Let me stabilize her, and then she will be ready to be moved. I have healed the majority of her internal injuries, but most of them need time. I say we move her to a bed before I start working on the external."

"Mr. Potter I expect a note as soon as she is awake," Dumbledore added.

Charlus couldn't help but think of Hermione's disdain for the man before him.

"I will owl you as soon as she is open to visitors."

_I trusted you explicitly. In return, I lost everything. _

"Very well."

* * *

"I am just saying, James… your parents never leave so abruptly. It has to be something important," said Remus in an effort to get to the bottom of the Potter parents rushed departure.

"Or dangerous!" Peter chirped.

"Why would you even add that, Pettigrew!" Sirius growled out.

"And _I _am just saying, Remus, that they probably just forgot something at work or something."

"Oh, come on, Jamesy, even I have to admit that that is a ridiculous explanation. Why would the both of them go?" Sirius leaned forward in the seat he was sitting, "You rotten lot want to know what I think?"

Remus rolled his eyes and said quietly, "Not particularly."

Sirius completely ignored him and said, "I bet all my galleons that they are meeting about the war. When I heard my parents talking sometimes, they would say things about some kind of group that was full of blood traitors and mudbloods." He said the last part with shiver.

"Right, I agree with Sirius."

"Peter! You always agree with Sirius," James whined.

"Not true." Peter was shaking his head so adamantly that he seemed to dizzy himself and reached up to clutch his head. Remus was looking at him with thinly veiled yet mild disdain.

"It's definitely true, Peter."

"See!"

"Oh shut it, James!" Sirius said.

"Fine! Why don't we just go wait for them by the floo then! If you wankers are so sure of this!" James didn't wait a moment before stepping around them and walking with a purpose to the travelling room that his parents had flooed out of earlier. He went and positioned himself as close as he could without being in danger of getting trampled should anyone fly out. The other three almost reluctantly followed before making sure that they themselves had a clear line of vision on the floo.

They all got suspicious when almost immediately only one of the aforementioned parent appeared.

When Dorea stepped through the floo into the traveling room it was to four teenage boys staring at her with imploring eyes. Dorea was noticeably more frazzled than James had ever seen her. She stepped into the room ringing her hands with a nervous look in her eye. When she looked from boy to boy she seemed to be on the verge of saying something before she stopped herself.

"Mum," James said. He was standing with his arms crossed in what she assumed was supposed to be a scolding manner. "Where have you been?"

She ignored him in lieu of a quick, "Tilly!"

POP!

"Mistress Potter is asking for Tilly?"

"Yes, dear, would you please set up the bedroom next to James's?"

"How long will this guest be staying, Mistress Potter?"

"She will more than likely be a permanent resident, Tilly."

Tilly clapped her hands excitedly before disappearing with a pop.

"Mum?"

When Dorea turned back to the boys she had seemed to return to her normal calm. She had her hands carefully folded in front of her and silently observed their confused expressions.

"Mum, what's happening?"

James looked mildly panicked. A new permanent resident? And a _she_?

Sirius asked, "Who's coming to stay?"

Dorea began carefully, "Well, boys, it should seem that we will be taking in a girl by the name of Hermione Granger." She gestured for them to have a seat on the two sofas positioned to face each other in the center of the room. She had a seat in the armchair facing the floo, and waited for them to get comfortable before continuing. "She has lost her family, and she is in need of a home."

"Mum, can you please try to be a little more specific?"

James was starting to get frustrated with the cavalier way she was describing something that, in his opinion, should be a much bigger deal.

"She has been through quite the ordeal and…" Sirius interrupted her.

"Was it Death Eaters?" Dorea gave him a wide eyed look and raised an eyebrow.

"Death Eaters?"

"That killed her family," said Sirius. His expression was grim. The only times the other boys had ever seen him like this was when he was thinking about or speaking on his own family.

"Yes, dear. It would appear so." Dorea's expression wasn't much better.

"Are you adopting her, Mrs. Potter?" Asked the ever polite, Remus.

"Yes she should be treated as family. As I was saying she has been through quite the ordeal, and I think that you boys could do her a lot of good. She's your age, and I imagine she will be joining you at Hogwarts in the fall. She is our family's to protect. James and Sirius especially. More than anything, I would like her to feel safe in this home."

A timid voice spoke up from the corner of the sofa, "What did they do to her?"

All at once Sirius, Remus, and James swiveled their heads around to give their friend, Peter, looks ranging from disapproving to suspicious.

"The specifics of that is her information to give if she so chooses, and I would advise you lot not to pry. Though, I imagine, some of it you will find easy to guess." Dorea adopted an ill look before she reined it in to say, "Do not treat her as some fragile thing. She is quite the strong-willed witch and I don't see her taking too kindly to being treated as anything but."

The boys all nodded at her forceful tone and she responded with the slightest tipping up of her chin.

"Very well. Now, I expect your father should be arriving with her any minute now."

Right as she said this the floo ignited and through stepped Charlus with the subject of their conversation in his arms. They all snapped their attention immediately to the unconscious girl. He looked surprised to see them all waiting for him.

James suddenly understood why his mother had looked so sickly after being asked what they had done to her. Her skin was nearly translucent, and her entire body was thin and pointy like she hadn't had anything to eat in months. Her hair was greasy and matted and her arm hung down limply from the side of her body He noticed that her wrists and ankles looked like they'd been rubbed raw. The skin there was bleeding and peeling. The part that had him trying to hold the contents of his stomach down though, was what seemed to be carved into her skin in messy, jagged letters.

_MUDBLOOD_

Before any of them could even say anything Madam Pomfrey stepped through right after him and gave the occupants of the room a bewildered look.

"Mrs. Potter! I don't think Miss Granger here would very much like the idea of four boys her age gawking at her in this state!"

Remus was the first to react. He reached out and grabbed both Sirius and James's elbows and bodily dragged their pale, horrified faces from the room. Peter was quick to follow and ran ahead of them to the loo where they could hear faint sounds of him gagging.

"I don't…" James's words got caught in his throat. Remus saw that he had tears in his eyes and continued to drag him and Sirius all the way upstairs to James's room where he promptly shut the door. Peter would find them as soon as he felt well enough.

They all collapsed on the armchairs and bed in James's room. The silence was tense.

"How could they…"

"It seemed like…"

Sirius and James both tried to speak at the same time before stopping themselves. The silence returned, and none of them felt too inclined to break it this time.

It wasn't until Peter returned and collapsed on the ground that something was said.

"Well, Pete, it looks like you didn't actually want to know what they did to her."

Sirius's voice was almost lifeless.

"I don't blame him for vomiting. I almost did." James looked like he had reined in his reactive tears and was now sitting tensely on the edge of his bed. "My mum was right. We'll take care of her now, Sirius. All of us will."

Remus almost smiled when he said, "An honorary fifth marauder?"

"I like the sound of that," James said.

Sirius gave them a quick nod before saying he wanted to retire for the night. When he shut the door it shook on its hinges. Remus and Peter were quick to follow.

None of them slept that night, and it wasn't until an hour later that Pomfrey finally flooed back to Hogwarts.

* * *

**AN: **I was so happy to see that I got a few reviews on the previous chapter! I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the last, but I think they will grow in length as I get closer to the meat of the story. Thanks!


	3. Kitten

**AN: **I love waking up to your reviews! Seriously the best thing ever. I struggled a little with all the internal dialogue that goes on in this chapter, but overall I am pretty happy with it.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it.

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Hermione felt like she was stuck in a endless cycle of her worst memories. It was like she was wandering through a fog trying to find her way out, but the only way was to relive her darkest moments.

It was an endless barrage of her time in captivity, her parent's disappointment, and then scenarios her mind was making up. The night she'd shown up in this era she'd felt like she had a firm grip on her sanity, but now as she faced more and more of these nightmares, she could feel her grip loosening.

The first time she managed to break through her eyes shot open, but she was anything but lucid.

Then there was a hand on her shoulder, and she panicked. It felt like an out of body experience where she watched herself scream and yell incoherent words. It wasn't until another vial of something was forced down her throat that the fog returned. This time it felt less like she was gripping her sanity and more like she was reaching for something that was always just brushing the tips of her fingers.

All she knew was that it hurt. All of it hurt.

The second time she woke up she was catatonic. Her eyes were glazed, and she could hear voices surrounding her but couldn't register them. It felt like she was paralyzed. Stuck in her own body. It was like a new version of her old cell. She was constantly tensed in preparation of pain that wouldn't come. She decided this was much worse than floating away.

It felt like it must've been hours. Every once in a while a vague silhouette would hover in front of her face before disappearing.

She wanted to scream at them to let her out.

Pomfrey was called before she could break through her self-inflicted prison.

It was a new kind of torture.

When she woke up crying she knew she'd finally emerged. It was a silent cry where she could feel the wetness on her cheeks but her breathing was calm.

A smooth and hushed voice was speaking and it seemed to ground her. She used all her energy to focus on the words.

"...told the petrified King. 'Henceforth, every stroke of harm that you inflict upon my fellow witches and wizards will feel like an axe stroke in your own side, until you will wish you could die of it!' At that, the King fell to his knees too, and…"

"Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump." Her voice cracked and broke. The voice stopped, and she immediately mourned the loss. Only one person had ever read her this story. "Ron?"

Someone drew in a long breath before saying, "I'm sorry, but no. It's Remus."

This confused her for a moment. She could feel her sanity on the edge of her mind knocking heavily on the door. She couldn't get the door open even if she tried.

"Lupin?" There was a pause. She tried to move her head, but she felt paralyzed again. Why was Remus Lupin reading her _Babbity Rabbity_?

"How did you…"

But she could already feel her eyes closing.

"Keep reading." She didn't want to let go. "Please."

Before she could figure out if he had listened to her the fog swallowed her whole again.

The next time it wasn't to someone reading, but instead it sounded like someone was giving a personal monologue.

"...and then my mother started screaming like a mad woman. Her blasting me off the tree didn't even surprise me. Actually it was probably the best thing to ever happen to me because now I get to spend all my time with a lovesick James."

Hermione had a weird feeling that she had heard this story before. Then something seemed to slither out from the crack below the door.

"Sirius Black."

Her voice was less broken this time, but still came out like the creak of a rusty hinge.

"Holy shit! James get in here!"

The yell slammed into her head, and she couldn't hold on any longer.

Of course, the first time she woke up and managed to stay that way she'd been alone in the room.

The room was dark save a small lamp beside the bed.

She didn't know where she was, and that along with the lingering nightmares caused her to go into a minor panic. This time when she tried to move, it worked, but every inch felt like a mile.

The feeling that she needed to get out overpowered her mounting nausea.

She pushed herself to the edge of her bed, and shoved herself up into a sitting position.

Her breathing was heavy and her thoughts were banging around in her head like a trapped beetle, but she still registered that she was now wearing a large worn jumper and plaid pants that fell down past her heals. When she put her feet on the ground she was standing on the fabric. Her hair and body felt clean for the first time in a very long time. She used the table by the bed to push herself up. Her vision was blurry for a moment. Once she was standing she felt oddly stronger. She walked herself to the door with light pouring through the cracks by balancing herself against the walls along the way. Getting out the door was a battle in itself, but before she knew it she was pushing herself down a flight of stairs and towards the smell of roasted chicken wafting through the air.

She could hear faint voices.

It took her longer than it should to reach the room where the sounds must be coming from due to her periodic stops and having to constantly have something to lean on. She hesitated at the archway that must've lead to a dining area before carefully pulling herself through and leaning heavily against the wall.

The conversation stopped and suddenly she was staring at five surprised faces.

"Where am I?"

She tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but she could feel it rising when someone stood up. What she saw squelched all anxiety.

_Harry!_

Her subconscious seemed to poke her.

_Don't be silly._

But it _had _to be him. They looked the same. The same wire glasses. The same tall lanky build. Unruly black hair. Tanned skin. But then she really focused, and she finally noticed his eyes. The panic returned.

_Not Harry._

"I don't understand."

This seemed to snap everyone out of it and the boy who definitely wasn't Harry ran towards her and grabbed her elbow. She tried not to flinch away from him, but she must've not done a very good job because suddenly he looked guilty and pulled away.

"I'm sorry, but I don't…"

Then a woman stood up from the end of the table and made her way over.

"Hermione, dear, my name is Dorea Potter."

Hermione blinked up at her before squeezing her eyes shut and leaning her forehead against the all she was leaning against. She was begging her mind to cooperate. She knew where she was. She swears she does.

"I'm not… I don't… Where am I?"

Something flashed in her mind.

Severus Snape standing over her. A heavy weight around her neck. A flash of light.

"The Order… The boy…"

No one in the room seemed to know what to say to the random words and phrases Hermione seemed to be spouting.

"Dead. I must be dead." She picked her head back up before banging against the wall again. She could almost feel her brain slamming against her skull, and then a dull throbbing. Pain. "Not dead."

James stepped forward again, but Dorea held up a hand. They all remained silent.

"Dumbledore." Something white bursting from a stolen wand. "A dragon?"

"Your patronus."

It was a man who spoke up. She hadn't even realized he'd stood, but now he was standing in front of her with a small smile on his face.

"Your patronus was a dragon."

"Are you serious! That is so cool!"

"Hush, James!"

Hermione pulled her head back and looked at Charlus.

It was clear then.

_What is the date?_

_June 14, 1975. _

She gasped and focused her eyes on the people in the room.

Remus Lupin was looking at her with weary but warm green eyes. Sirius Black had a pained expression. And not harry turned out to be none other than James Potter. Alike in everything but the eyes.

She clapped a hand to her mouth, but couldn't take her eyes off the boy in front of her. He looked back earnestly. She had to be sure it wasn't some terrible dream.

"What's the date?"

Remus spoke up, "June 22nd."

She shut her eyes.

"And the year?"

"1975," said Dorea. She laid a gentle hand on Hermione's, now heaving shoulder.

The panic was back, but with a large amount of resolve she sucked it in and shoved it in a tightly packed box in her mind. She stilled and looked up at Dorea.

"I'm sorry. I need to sit."

Immediately everyone jumped into action. Since Dorea seemed to be the only one who Hermione allowed to touch her she led Hermione carefully from the wall and to the chair next to Remus that James had pulled out.

When she was sitting she let out a woosh of air that she hadn't realized was stuck in her throat.

"Are you hungry, dear?"

Hermione realized she was, but she also new that solid food was a terrible idea.

"I'm not sure…" Dorea seemed to have been thinking the same thing because she clapped her hands and a small elf in a baby pink tea towel appeared.

"Mistress be calling Tilly?"

"Yes, would you please be a dear and make up some light broth for Hermione?" Tilly looked at Hermione then and smiled at her.

"Miss Hermione is awake! Tilly be watching you all week. Tilly listens to you talk in your sleep. Tilly will make you big serving of soup!" Then she disappeared. Hermione felt her cheeks burning at the idea that she had spoken in her sleep at all. If it had to do with what she had been dreaming about, where she'd been stuck, then she could only imagine what she'd been saying.

Sirius was staring at her most intently from right across the table. When the blush turned her entire face a soft shade of pink he realized something he really wish he hadn't.

This girl was rather pretty. She was rather pretty, she'd faced obvious torture, _and_ she had known his name.

Sirius hated himself.

Merlin, she hadn't even known what year it was!

"Hermione, how are you feeling?" Charlus asked.

It seemed like a rather stupid question if she was being honest. She looked at him. The warmth on her cheeks had faded to a light splattering.

"I'm fine."

Dorea gave her an admonishing look.

"Yes, well I am sure you have a lot of questions. I think we'll start with introductions. My name is Dorea Potter as I said earlier, and this is my husband Charlus. And then there's our son James." James waved his hand. "This is our other son Sirius, and they're friend Remus. Their other friend Peter was here, but he left a few days ago."

Hermione tried not to look at James, Sirius, and Remus because looking at them just made her think about the time she'd left, and thinking about that hurt. She wasn't ready.

"Do you remember waking up at all?" It was Sirius who spoke she turned and stared at a place over his shoulder.

"No."

It was a lie of course. She remembered waking up screaming. She remembered waking up paralyzed. She remembered waking up to _Babbity Rabbity. _She remembered waking up to Sirius bragging about getting blasted off the tree. But most of all she remembered what she had said when she'd woken up. Lupin? Sirius Black.

For a brief moment, her sanity, which had become such a tangible thing in the past week, was seeping through the cracks again. She finally realized that their were voices in her head.

Severus Snape's. Albus Dumbledore's. _Voldemort's._

_The last hope. _

_I am not sure what I have done to you to earn this amount of distrust._

_I will kill the boy whether you tell me where he is or not. You can not win this war, Mudblood._

She grabbed her forearm where the word was, and everyone watched the movement. She realized they must have seen it when they'd brought her here, and just this thought gave her an extreme amount of discomfort. Her fingers twisted in the soft, tan fabric of the oversized jumper. She'd gotten this scar relatively recently. Maybe a few days before Severus Snape had appeared standing over her.

"Am I…" she pushed those voices in the box and slammed it shut, "Am I going to be staying here?"

Dorea ignored her own upset over Hermione's injury and smiled carefully.

"Only if you'd like to."

Hermione let her breathing even out and said, "I think I would."

Charlus reached behind Remus and squeezed her shoulder. She managed to tone down her flinch to the barest of movements.

"That's excellent!"

Just then Tilly appeared and reached up to place a _very_ large, _very _hot serving of soup in front of her.

Everyone seemed to be waiting for her to take a bite before returning to their meal. She picked up the spoon and tried to ignore the way her hand shook as she dipped it into the bowl.

She was frustrated that taking a sip of this soup seemed to be infinitely harder than holding Albus Dumbledore at wand point a week ago. By the time she got the spoon to her mouth there was maybe half a spoonful. She blew on it carefully before taking the first bite.

Everyone at the table let out a relieved sigh and started back in on their own meals. She was glad that despite her obvious difficulty, they didn't offer to feed it to her. Her pride would have suffered a great blow if that had been the case.

She planned on eating as much as she could stomach as a conversation took up around her. She zoned them out in favor of focusing on holding the spoon as steady as possible.

"Hermione?"

She hummed in acknowledgment, but kept her vision on the shaking silverware.

"Do you think you're ready to speak with Dumbledore?"

She dropped the spoon.

Her palms fell flat against the table cloth, and watched the spoon clatter to the table, the soup splashing.

She drew her fingers in until her fingernails were digging into her palms.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Her voice was noticeably tense. Charlus nodded in understanding. James looked confused.

"Why don't you want to talk to, Dumbledore?"

"James!" Dorea smacked her son upside his head. "That's her business!"

Hermione cleared her throat, "We have a history." She ended it at that before changing the subject. "Am I going to go to Hogwarts in the fall?"

"That's up to you."

Hermione was apprehensive. She'd had to drop out of school after third year to follow Harry on what had felt like a fool's errand. The idea of going back was appealing, but the line between her new reality and her nightmares felt nonexistent.

She also knew that if she was going to start formulating a plan for taking down Voldemort, Hogwarts was a good place to start.

"You should come!" James exclaimed.

"I think I would like that," she said.

She looked at James who was sitting to Sirius's left. She stared at his chin because staring at his eyes made him _not harry_, and thinking about how he wasn't made her think about what had happened to her Harry.

_All dead._

She looked back to the table, and moved her palms flat to push herself up carefully. When she moved her hands there was blood on the pristine white cloth. She got confused before looking at her palms and seeing four little bleeding crescents on each hand.

There was blood under her fingernails. The box in her mind slammed open.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't realize!" She reached for the black cloth napkin and tried to scrub at the blood, but it just made it worse and she was starting to get dizzy. The blood was smeared and starting to turn brown. She pressed the back of her hand against her forehead and there was a rushing in her ears.

_Last hope. _

_All dead._

_You can not win._

"Stop it!" Her hands moved over her ears and she dropped to the floor so that she was curled in a ball. She wasn't sure if anyone was talking, but when Remus reached for her arm she turned and ran for it. She was tripping and running into things, but she couldn't stop.

She didn't stop until she found herself in an empty bedroom that definitely wasn't the one she'd woken up in. There was a dresser and no windows. There were two beds and one was shoved up against the wall in the corner. She flew under the bed and curled into the corner.

They couldn't find her here.

_Perhaps, the girl needs more motivation to talk?_

It was just like the fog she was in. Every image was so clear. Death Eater's coming down into the dungeons to yank her out of the cell every morning. Voldemort's cold and violent presence as he tried to break into her carefully guarded Order secrets.

Now it felt like her own mind was trying to break in, and it was almost worse.

She curled up and tried to focus on her own breathing. There was too much space, and too many places for people and things to hide.

There were voices screaming her name, but she couldn't hear them.

* * *

To say Sirius was worried was an understatement. She'd been so weak on her feet, and then all of the sudden she'd flown out of the room so fast none of them had time to think about following her. Then she was just gone. Disappeared somewhere in Potter Manor. Finding a half lucid and apparently dangerous girl in Potter Manor was a tall order.

Dorea was panicking.

Later they'd all wonder why they hadn't thought to ask, Tilly.

But it _wasn't _later, it was now, and now they'd split up and Sirius was stuck searching the empty and unused guest wing opposite of where his and James's rooms were.

"Hermione!" He had a feeling she wouldn't respond to yelling her name, but he did it anyway because that's what you did when you looked for people, right?

He was halfway down the hall when he saw an open door at the end. His breath stopped and he hesitated. She was definitely in there, but he wasn't sure she'd be happy to see him. She couldn't even look at him at dinner.

Before he could stop he walked to the end and quietly stepped into room. It looked completely empty of people, but when he paused he could hear light breathing coming from what seemed like the corner. He walked over to the bed. Had she disillusioned herself?

He ran his hands over the covers, but she definitely wasn't there. But he could hear her! Then it hit him. She was under the bed.

He crouched down and pressed his cheek to the hardwood floors. She was a tiny thing that much was obvious, but it still baffled him that she'd been able to shove herself down there in her panic. She was curled up in the corner facing away from him.

"I thought only monsters hide under the bed. Isn't that what muggles say?"

Her body stiffened noticeably, but then she let out a breath and relaxed slightly. "Sirius?"

"Yeah it's me."

There was a pause before she said, "Maybe _I'm_ the monster." Her voice was still scratchy like it'd been ever since she woke up.

"I don't think so, kitten. Now come on out. I promise I'm not a monster."

When she didn't make a move to leave he tried to coax her out with soft words. When that also didn't work he laid down flat on the ground so he could reach her and started pulling her out by the back of her jumper.

"No! Please, stop!"

He kept it up though and she started kicking and swinging in his general direction but he just wrapped his arms tight around her torso so that her arms were pinned.

"I'm not the monster. I promise."

He held her tight like that until she stopped fighting him, but she was still tense.

"Okay come on, kitten. I think it's time I take you back before James starts crying, and Dorea has an aneurism."

Her muscles were frozen. "I can't."

He let go of her to sit up. Sirius looked at her for a second. She just lay there exactly where he'd left her. He reached down and turned her on her back before putting one arm under her knees and one on the small of her back.

When he stood back up with her in his arms he realized she weighed almost nothing.

"What are you doing!" She tried to move, but he was holding her tightly, and she was very tired.

"I told you. James really will start crying. He's very emotional, that one."

When he started walking her fingers reached for the front of his shirt. The trip back to the room was pretty long, but she still tried to hold her breath the whole time.

When they were almost back Remus came out of a room looking frustrated. When he looked towards the sound of footsteps he saw Sirius holding Hermione in his arms. Remus visibly relaxed.

Her eyes were squeezed shut and one of her hands was gripping the front of Sirius's shirt like if she let go she'd float away. Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius gave him a look like he'd tell him later.

They walked together to the room she'd been staying in in complete silence. When they reached her room he carefully placed her under the covers that Remus was holding up. She didn't let go of the front of Sirius's shirt, so he was forced to crouch down next to the bed. With the small amount of moving room he had, he swung his head down and made a show of checking under the bed.

"No monsters down here, kitten."

Only then did her hand carefully let go before pillowing itself under her cheek.

"Thanks, Sirius."

He smiled and winked at her. She flushed like she had at dinner before pulling the blanket over her head.

"Good night!" Her voice was muffled by the comforter.

Remus shoved him towards the door.

"Sirius, you have no shame."


	4. Accidental Magic

**AN: Sorry this one took a bit longer. It was a bit of a fluffing chapter, and I had trouble getting through it. Thanks for the reviews! They inspire me to get it done faster (totally guilting you into writing reviews lol).**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

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Hermione stood in front of the floo with more trepidation than she had felt in a long time.

She almost laughed when she thought about how she was so weary about going to Diagon Alley with the boys and Dorea when she'd faced things that should be way worse than Dorea demanding Hermione find a new wardrobe. If she was being honest the only thing that had convinced her to go was that she knew a trip to Ollivander's was on the list.

She hadn't had a wand of her own in almost nine months.

She knew they were all waiting for her on the other end.

She looked down at what she was wearing. Hermione thought she looked awfully shabby.

James had dug through his closet to find all of his old clothes, and they eventually landed on a very old pair of muggle denim's with holes in the knees, another one of his old jumpers, and a pair of canvas sneakers with a hole in the toe.

She was sincerely regretting not letting Dorea brush her hair that morning like she'd wanted. It was a nest of frizz and curls. She was sure she looked more like a rabid animal than a teenage girl.

With one final sigh she forced herself to grab the floo powder and left for The Leaky Cauldron..

When she stumbled through the only one waiting for her there was Remus. She almost fell, but he reached for her shoulder to steady her.

When she was righted she blew a curl away from her face and looked around.

"Where'd they go?"

"Dorea said something suspicious about having to meet someone, and James and Sirius got bored waiting and ran off to Quality Quidditch Supplies."

She looked up at him at that, but he didn't look annoyed. "I'm sorry. I had trouble… convincing myself to come through I guess." He looked down and smiled kindly at her.

"It was barely a minute," he said.

She knew he was lying, and _he _knew he was lying. They both didn't speak up.

"Remus, how do you feel about heading to Flourish and Blott's before we find them?"

His small smile grew and a light blush spread across his cheeks. He held his elbow out for her to take.

"I think, that sounds great."

She was taken back for a moment. She thought about the Remus Lupin she remembered from her time. He had been a tousled, lonely, and private man. Now here he was standing in front of her. Fifteen and blushing.

It wasn't until he started shifting nervously that she snapped herself out of it to grab his elbow.

"Excellent!"

Her voice was shrill in her own ears, and she cringed.

The walk to the bookstore was quiet, and Hermione was fidgety. The sunlight was nice. She'd spent the last few days trying to acclimate to being outdoors. The first time she'd stepped outside to a cloudless sky and gust of wind, she had passed out. She'd woken up to James standing over her with a panicked expression.

Now she was doing much better, but the big open summer sky was still giving her anxiety. She thought she might have a touch of agoraphobia now.

She'd realized when James had reached down to pull her up after she'd passed out that physical touch grounded her. No one in Potter Manor had said anything about her constantly being in contact with them. Grabbing Charlus's or Dorea's elbow. Holding James's hand. Gripping the back of Sirius's shirt. Light fingers on Remus's wrist.

Her current grip on Remus's elbow was death-tight, and he must have realized her direction of thinking because he reached up with his other hand patted her hand in comfort. Once they got to the bookstore she started walking in the direction of books she thought might have information on time travel. She pulled to an abrupt stop when Remus started in the opposite direction. Her hand was still holding on to his elbow.

"Oh… um, I can come look with you over there if you'd like?"

He looked uncomfortable but honest. She tried for her most reassuring smile and slowly pulled her hand away. She gripped it with her own.

"No, that's okay. I'll be okay."

Then before she could change her mind she spun and bolted towards the section she'd originally been heading towards.

Dorea had given her some money, presumably for clothes, but Hermione had decided as soon as it had been given to her that she would use the majority on books.

Something that she hadn't had time to think about, but had been a silent weight on her shoulders was the particulars of the time travel she had done. What would happen when she was born in four years? What about if she makes it long enough for a younger her to show up at Hogwarts?

All of these things were questions she was sure Dumbledore would have the answer to, but she wanted to look for herself first.

Which is how she found herself nearly an hour later at the register with six heavy tomes in hand.

Once she'd purchased them she started looking around for Remus. They were supposed to meet Sirius, James, and Dorea in half an hour for lunch at The Leaky Cauldron.

"Remus?" She called. She was poking her head down every aisle and not paying attention to what was in front of her when something collided with her stack of books and they were shoved into her chest. If she had been at full strength she would've been able to catch herself, but she was still weak and rather fatigued. She put her hand out to catch herself as she hit the ground, and it twisted painfully. Her eyes watered at the burning feeling.

"Ouch!"

Her books were scattered on her lap and on the floor surrounding her.

"So sorry, I wasn't really looking where I was going," Hermione said breathlessly. She was holding her wrist when she looked up. Standing above her was a young Severus Snape. Just as greasy and hook-nosed as before. She masked the rage she felt. He's the one that will send her here. He's the one that will _force_ her to abandon her friends when they needed her. A dark voice in the back of her mind whispered, _He sent you away which means he could've gotten you out of there._

The tears in her eyes multiplied, and she tried to blink them away but young Snape _definitely_ noticed.

He sneered.

"Crying over a little fall? How positively juvenile."

Then he turned around and left without another word.

She wanted to yell at him that she wasn't crying over that, but she knew there were zero situations with which that ended positively. Instead she carefully lifted herself to her knees.

She was sniffling on her knees and trying to pick up her books with one hand when Remus found her.

At first he just stood there with wide eyes not sure what to do. Remus may be considered a sensitive guy, but crying girls was _not _his forte. Especially, _this _crying girl who was always holding on to him like he _mattered _and seemed to be the only person he knew who had more scars than he did. He was racking his brain for things he thought might help, but then she looked up at him with shining eyes and said, "Would you mind giving me a hand with these? I sort of fell on my wrist."

He jumped into action and almost instantly had all six books balanced in on arm and was helping her up with his other.

"What happened, Hermione?" Once she was up she let go of him briefly to wipe at her eyes before reached for his wrist. Her fingers were resting there carefully like she was worried he'd pull away from her. Remus wouldn't.

"Do you know a Severus Snape?"

Hermione, of course, knew that he did, but she wanted to see his reaction. His brow furrowed, and his frown deepened.

"Did he knock you over?" He was leaning over and whispering like this was some kind of secret. Hermione pulled nervously on a stray curl, but winced when she felt a pang in her wrist.

She ignored him and said, "I landed on my wrist funny."

Remus sucked in a breath. "Right, best not tell Sirius and James then. They hate Snape, this would just be an excuse for them to start a fight with him when we go back to Hogwarts. Dorea knows some healing charms. I'm sure she'll be able to fix you up at lunch."

"I'll just tell them I fell."

Remus slid his hand out of her wrist and held out his elbow.

"We should probably go now."

Dorea, Sirius, and James were all nursing their own butterbeer at a booth in the corner when Hermione and Remus walked through the doors of the Leaky a few minutes later. Hermione took a seat next to Dorea while Remus took the spot next to Sirius. He set the books she'd purchased on the bench next to him.

Sirius and James were in the middle of some explanation about something they saw at the Quidditch Shop. Remus gave Hermione an imploring look that Hermione frowned at. Neither Sirius nor James seemed to notice when Hermione turned towards Dorea and held out her wrist.

"Mrs. Potter, would you mind healing this? I fell on it in Flourish and Blott's. I think it's just sprained."

Hermione was whispering and avoiding eye-contact.

"You know, Hermione, you can call me Mum if you'd like."

Hermione thought about her own mum, Jean, back in her time. Safe and obliviated somewhere in Australia the last she'd heard. She'd spent so much time thinking about Harry, Ron, and The Order, that she'd barely spared her own parents a thought. Guilt twisted through her. Dorea patted her hand before gently pulling her arm closer and pushing her sleeve up enough to see her swollen wrist.

"It's okay, dear. I understand." Hermione watched as Dorea whispered a charm and the pulsing in her wrist subsided.

"Thank you," she whispered. She turned back to the boys and saw them all watching her.

"So you fell?" Sirius looked suspicious. James just looked curious.

"Remus didn't catch you?" James asked and smirked at his blushing friend.

Sirius let out a barking laugh and slapped Remus on the back.

"I wasn't there when it happened!"

Remus was sputtering, but when he turned to look at Hermione he looked guilty.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I'm still a little clumsy." She waved her hand to dismiss them and then exclaimed, "Now let's get some food! I'm starving."

They all knew she was lying, but chose not to say anything. She still wasn't able to stomach normal amounts of food, but she really didn't want to think about how she'd seen Snape for the first time since he'd sent her back and turned her world completely upside down.

Once they'd gotten their food, James and Sirius continued to rant about the Quidditch shop. It only stopped when Dorea turned towards Hermione.

"Hermione, Dumbledore sent an owl. He'll be coming for a visit tonight."

Dorea gave her a look, and Hermione froze.

"What did he say in the note exactly?"

All boys were shocked at how quickly her voice had hardened. She wasn't the scarred girl with agoraphobia anymore. Remus marveled at how she could flip the switch so quickly just at the mention of their headmaster.

Dorea pulled a piece of parchment from her robes and tapped it with her wand before handing it to Hermione.

_Miss Granger. It's time we speak on the best course of action. I'm sure you have questions as well. I will be at Potter Manor at precisely 7:00 p.m. this evening. _

Hermione's nose scrunched up, and she angrily tore the parchment. The pieces fell towards the tabletop, and Hermione couldn't stop glaring at them. Dorea was the only one not a bit surprised when in a bout of accidental magic it turned to ash on the table. Hermione got over her surprise quickly and turned towards Dorea.

"Mrs. Potter, I'm afraid I'm a bit tired. Could we come back and get the rest of the shopping done another day?"

Dorea narrowed her eyes for a moment before conceding.

"Yes, alright.

She paid the bill, and they all stood. Hermione reached out for her books, but Remus was already holding them. He shook his head at her, but before she could react James had grabbed her hand and started walking towards the floo in the back.

When they got back Hermione asked Dorea for some parchment and quills before taking the books from Remus. All of the boys followed her as she started towards her room.

"Hermione are you quite alright? You're acting a little…" James trailed off.

"Batty?" Sirius supplied.

"Well, I was probably going to use nicer words than that, Sirius."

"I'm perfectly fine." Her voice sounded strained even to herself, but she just kept moving.

"Do you need any help with whatever it is you bought those books for?" Asked Remus.

She stopped walking abruptly.

Sirius, who was directly behind her slammed his hands against the wall so he wouldn't run into her. James, who was in the back and wasn't paying any attention at all slammed into Remus, who in turn slammed into Sirius. Before she knew it the three of them were in a pile at her feet. She looked down at them in surprise before bursting out laughing. All three boys looked gob-smacked for the umpteenth time that day. She walked the few feet to her room and paused in the doorway.

"Believe me, you lot couldn't help me if you tried."

After that she slammed and locked the door. She could hear them grumbling outside her door.

"James, get your hand off my arse!"

"No I quite like where I have my hand, Sirius."

"Well I don't!"

"Will you both stop it. James get up! I don't like being sandwiched in between you two prats like this."

Both boys snickered in response, and she heard Remus groan.

"Oh god, whatever you're thinking stop it!"

"Wait guys, did you hear her though? She laughed!" Sirius yelled. They had to know she could still hear them.

"Yeah I liked her laugh. She should do that more often," said James.

"Yes this is all good, but please just get off me, James." Remus sounded exhausted.

"Oh! Right."

After that she stopped listening and sat down on the ground to spread out everything she had.

She was not going into a meeting with Dumbledore without a plan. She had a lot of work to do.

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**AN: The next chapter should be interesting;) Also sorry (not sorry) for the dumbledore bashing that will take place in this fic. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	5. My Terms

**AN: So before I started this fic I had the first ten chapters outlined, and by Chapter five she was supposed to be heading to Hogwarts for her fifth year. BUT the pace of the beginning is actually a lot slower than I anticipated, and it might be a couple more chapters before she actually gets there! Now that I think about it I might revise my first chapter to clarify that this story is written in parts. **

**Anyway these ramblings are more for myself than anything! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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Hermione had been locked in her room for precisely six and a half hours before she checked the time and realized she only had a half hour left before Dumbledore arrived. She quickly snatched up all of her parchment and grabbed a spare quill before running down to the dining room where she knew the rest of the household to be.

Sirius had been in the middle of telling Dorea and Charlus how their son wouldn't remove his hand from Sirius's arse earlier when Hurricane blew into the room like a hurricane. Her hair was somehow even larger than it had been that morning, she looked decidedly flushed, and parchment was spilling out of her arms where she was holding it to her chest. She had a quill tucked behind one ear where curls were wrapped around it in what was sure to be an impossible tangle. Despite her entrance, she still had that steely look in her eyes. She walked quickly, so that she was standing at the opposite end of the table from where they were all sitting.

"Hullo. Where can I set up for my meeting with Dumbledore? I need somewhere private and preferably with a lot of table space. Mrs. Potter, I would also like to request your presence." Dorea raised a single eyebrow. It was only then that Hermione faltered and shifted nervously. "I need to stay calm. I think you would help with that. Please."

"Of course, dear. If you won't call me Mum, feel free to call me Dorea."

Hermione's already flushed cheeks turned even pinker at that, but Charlus was smiling at the entire interaction.

"Yes, and I'm just Charlus. How does my office sound? If the desk isn't large enough we could transfigure something for you, I'm sure. I'll go set it up now." He got up and walked out where she'd entered. Dorea followed closely behind him. Hermione stayed and looked at the three boys at the table. Sirius had an odd look in his eyes. Hermione tried to ignore her warm cheeks and looked at James.

She definitely did _not _have time for boys.

"Don't you want to eat something? You barely had anything at lunch," said James.

"No, thank you, James, I'm quite alright," said Hermione. She thought about the conversation she'd heard right before she walked in. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, I think if you preferred the company of men, your parents wouldn't think any less of you. You should just tell them."

James sputtered, Remus gaped, and Sirius burst into a fit of loud guffaws.

"WHAT!"

She smirked at him before turning swiftly and walking out the archway in the direction Charlus and Dorea had left.

"Oh, she's turning out to be one cheeky witch," said James. His face was somehow even more red than everytime he attempted to flirt with one, Lily Evans during school.

"I think I'm in love with her," said Sirius. He laughed and pretended to faint. James scoffed.

"I didn't think you were capable of falling in love with anyone, Sirius," added Remus. Who was managing to look simultaneously amused and miffed.

"Maybe I just haven't found the right witch." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

"For some reason, I don't think that's it, Sirius," added a still red James.

They all laughed before Remus said, "So, why do you guys think she had to 'prepare' for her meeting with Dumbledore?"

"Why do you think she has so many issues with him in the first place?" Added James.

"She's a bit batty that one," said Sirius.

"You would fall in love with a batty witch." James was thoroughly amused. Remus was not.

"Guys seriously. What do you think happened that makes her get so… angry when Dumbledore is mentioned?"

Remus didn't like the idea of anyone distrusting Dumbledore. He owed the man so much. Remus hadn't even thought school would be possible for him until Dumbledore had shown up at his home with a letter and a full-fledged plan to convince his parents.

"I think we should do what my mum says, and just let her decide what she wants us to know. I also think it might have to do with what happened to her family if I had to guess," said James.

"You think he had something to do with it?" Remus was affronted.

"No! I'm saying, that maybe she thinks he could've done something to stop it."

Remus nodded thoughtfully, but he doubted what James said held any truth.

"So, do you think she has a boyfriend back where she's from?"

James slapped Sirius hard on the back of his head.

"You really have no shame, Sirius."

* * *

Dorea watched quietly from her perch on a stool as Hermione mumbled to herself and shuffled the parchment around. She raised her eyebrows when Hermione took one particular roll and spread it out. It was probably about six feet of parchment, and on it was something that looked like a timeline. Dorea had no doubts that the girl shuffling in front of her was their best shot at winning the war. The memory of the force she'd proven herself to be at the original meeting was finally returning. Dorea had been nervous the past few weeks as she'd watched the effects of what had happened to her became evident, but Hermione had shown that she was also quite good at compartmentalizing. Dorea wondered if she was truly as skilled at Occlumency as the letter had said. She had little to no doubt that she was.

_She is one of the most skilled Occlumens I am yet to meet._

"Hermione, do you need any help?" Hermione jumped at the interruption like she'd forgotten Dorea was there at all.

"No, thank you, Mrs… Dorea." Hermione cringed, but Dorea smiled at the correction.

Dorea cast a tempus charm and Hermione looked up to see she only had a few minutes left. She rolled up her "timeline" in a hurry and moved it so that it was sitting behind her on Charlus's desk.

At Dorea's questioning look Hermione said, "The timeline is more for me. He doesn't have to know everything."

Right after she said that there was a knock at the door, and Charlus poked his head in.

"Dumbledore has just stepped through in the traveling room. Should I bring him in here?"

Hermione frowned. "He said seven sharp. He's a few minutes early." Hermione looked a bit frazzled.

"Dear, you've been preparing all day. You're ready." Hermione looked up at Dorea for a moment before turning towards Charlus and nodding.

Hermione took the few seconds she had to pull her fingers through her hair, pull her sleeves up, and take a few deep breaths. She flinched when she saw her wrists and forearm but kept the sleeves up. Dorea was sure leaving the scar carved into her arm and the white criss cross scars from the chains on display was a tactical move on Hermione's part. Hermione, with every breath she took was looking less frazzled and more like she was preparing for battle. Dorea took a moment to marvel at her. She imagined she would be quite proud to be the girl before her's mother.

Then in walked Dumbledore in a swish of deep violet robes and twinkling eyes.

"Good evening, Miss Granger. Mrs. Potter." Dumbledore seemed mildly surprised to see Dorea. "Miss Granger, perhaps it would be best if we spoke in private." Hermione shook her head and crossed her arms. He was now standing across the transfigured table from her.

"No I don't think so, Albus." She pointed to herself, "My terms."

Dorea smiled, and that was that.

"As you wish." Then he held his wand up and cast silencing and locking charms. "Now, I feel it pertinent that we discuss the matters of the war. It would be wise to put your plan into action immediately, yes?"

Hermione nodded. "The war, as I am sure you've noticed is already starting to escalate. In my time, I had read every resource available to me about the first wizarding war a few times over in an effort to study Voldemort's tactics and the previous mistakes made by The Order. I surprised to find that my months of… isolation… didn't hinder my memory." Dorea assumed by isolation she'd meant her capture and torture. "There are a few things I need to assist in my plan that are of utmost importance."

Dumbledore gestured for her to continue, and Hermione pulled a piece of parchment out of her stack. Hermione knew she'd already memorised all the information, but she held onto it like it was some semblance of a life line.

"First, I will need a list of all known Death Eaters. Second, a list of every member of The Order." Dumbledore nodded. "Good. Next, I will need to have access to The Order. This means I need to be able to call meetings if the need arises, so I will need access to your floo at Howarts. I need to be initiated again."

_Again_.

This word rattled Dorea for a moment. The war effort must have been truly desperate if they had been initiating fifteen year-olds.

"I think that can be arranged seeing as nearly all Order members already know of your existence and role in the war."

"Yes I imagine so."

"As far as you being allowed the constant ability to call Order meetings, I am not so sure."

"Excuse me?" Hermione had a fire behind her eyes.

"I can't imagine what kind of panic that would cause if meetings were constantly being called by a Fifth Year Hogwarts student."

Hermione's eyes narrowed. She imagined he was questioning her credibility.

"Albus, with all due respect," she started and the corners of her mouth twitched upward for a moment before her stoney expression returned, "I can tell you with complete certainty, that if I need to call an Order meeting, not only will the reason be credible, but more than likely _dire._ I doubt you want to see what happens when I am refused the ability to meet with the Order when I deem it necessary. It's going to get _messy_."

Dumbledore calculated her for a moment and then said, "The best I can do is give you the ability to request I call an Order meeting."

"That's not the best you can do. That's just the _most _you're willing to do. You will do well to remember, that I know exactly what is going to come to pass in the next few years. I will know when it's necessary. Part of my original request was that we do this on my terms. Are you failing in that already, Albus? May, I also remind you that, not just some, but _all_ of your lives are at stake?"

The implication was clear. Though, she knew Dumbledore didn't die until the Second Wizarding War, she wanted him to feel threatened.

Dumbledore bristled. "Fine. I will give you this privilege. But I do believe that access to just those present at the meeting where you appeared will suffice."

Hermione almost snarled out, "Perfect." She glanced down at her paper before continuing, "Next, I will need to return to Hogwarts in the fall and be resorted. You will tell the students I am a transfer from Beauxbatons. I am fluent in French. It would be believable."

"Why do you insist on being resorted? What house were you in in your time?"

"Gryffindor. But I think I might be more successful in my efforts from a different house."

She wasn't actually sure about this. She'd been thinking about possibly begging the hat to put her in Slytherin. Afterall, Regulus Black was a _major_ turning point in their war. She also knew going into the snake's den was a death wish. They would know she was a muggleborn. There was no way around that. She would automatically draw unwanted attention. There were known Death Eaters at school that she knew she'd run into. They surely would alert _him_ to the new muggleborn that had been sorted into Slytherin. All day she'd been toying with the idea of playing this war from both sides. Taking him down from the inside, but she wasn't sure if she was mentally capable at this point. Maybe if she hadn't been captured… Maybe if her sanity wasn't still such a tangible thing…

She shook herself out of her thoughts.

"I would like to leave the option open, if you don't mind." It was the first time she had stated a term as more of a request than a demand. Dumbledore almost smiled.

"Excellent."

"Finally, I think it would be best if I had my own rooms in whatever house I get sorted in. It might be necessary for me to be in and out of the rooms in the middle of the night. I also have nightmares. Waking up screaming will raise unwanted questions. There's also the matter of them seeing my scars."

"Don't you believe that having your own rooms would raise questions?"

"I'll just say I'm shy, and I wasn't ready to be in a room with new people."

Hermione almost rolled her eyes at the notion.

"As a fifteen year old starting at a new school this is believable."

"Very well."

"Good. After I get my wand I would like to call my first Order meeting. Everyone that was there before should be there this time. Only then, will I debrief on the course of action we will take."

Dorea spoke for the first time since Dumbledore had appeared, "I will take you the day after tomorrow. Albus, you can call the meeting for that evening. I will ensure we will be there."

Dorea had to admit she had ulterior motives in wanting to take her so soon. What had been made abundantly clear was that Hermione Granger had secrets. _Dark _secrets.

"That can be arranged. Is there anything else you'd like to speak on Miss Granger?"

Hermione hesitated. After a few seconds of silent contemplation she sighed and pulled out all the notes she'd been able to take on time travel. Which she'd discovered wasn't much. The topic still appeared to be rather taboo and kept in secret at the Department of Mysteries.

"Yes…" Hermione shrunk into herself for a moment before straightening and holding her chin up. "I have done my own research, but it appears there's not much known in this time. What is to come of me in this timeline if I don't perish from war efforts?"

Dorea flinched at the seemingly careless way she mentioned her own death.

"That is, I know from my own experience in using time turners that time is a loop. Which means that you would have known in my time that I had traveled back. If this is true, then I won't succeed in ending the war. You know this, which makes me think what you used was much different than a simple time turner."

"You are correct in this assumption."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"Then I think it is safe to assume that by sending me back you have intentionally created a Time Paradox?"

"It was never my intention to send back an actual person. Whoever sent you either disobeyed my orders, or is privy to information about my intentions that I have yet to have."

"You don't know who sent me?"

_Why hadn't Snape signed his note?_

"No I do not."

"Interesting. So by creating this paradox have we branched off into a parallel universe of sorts? Does the result of my own universe remain unchanged despite my efforts?"

"I believe what I used to send you back has destroyed your timeline all together."

"It's gone?"

"I believe so."

"What will happen when I am born in a few years?"

"I don't think that will happen at all. There can only be one of you."

Hermione was physically taken back. A small part of her had hoped that she'd be sent back when she was born. She could find her parents in Australia. Live a quiet life among muggles. All of that was dashed with this new knowledge, and she could feel the fog returning to her mind. She would remain here, and her parents would never even _know_ a Hermione Granger. Knowing Harry, Ron, and everyone else's fate had been haunting her, but this was too much.

"I think this is quite enough talk for the night. We will see you at the Order meeting day after next, Albus."

Hermione barely registered Dorea's words, and then she was being quietly led to her room.

When she got back to her room she cried for the second time that day. She felt so weak. Her mind was whirring with all the information she'd taken in. Dorea held her hand tightly from where she was perched on the bed next to Hermione. She seemed to know her line of thinking.

"You are not alone here, Hermione. We'll take care of you. You are _not_ just a weapon in this war."

Hermione couldn't help but think that she was so, very wrong.

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**AN: Sorry if any of you are experts on time travel theory. I clearly have surface level knowledge, so I'm using my creative liberties and making some stuff up. lol! Do you guys think I overuse italics? I try to only use them when I need to show their emphasis in conversations, but I feel that I might be overusing them. Let me know!**


	6. A Briefing

**AN: Would you rather I had a stricter update schedule? I know I have been rather sporadic, but once I have finished writing and editing a chapter, I get too excited to not post it. Let me know in the reviews!**

**Balancing Hermione's war torn personality with that of a fifteen year-old girl is rather difficult! Let me know also if it feels too OOC. I am always up for some constructive criticism as long as you do it in a respectful way.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**

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Chapter Six: A Briefing

Dorea had supplied Hermione with a large, leather-bound notebook to keep her thoughts gathered for the impending meeting. She'd also gotten her an abundance of clothes that Hermione had wrinkled her nose at. The mid-seventies fashion was not something she had prepared herself for. She felt lucky that her large curls were somewhat on trend.

In preparation for her meeting she had clipped the front pieces back, donned some dark wash flare denims, and put on a striped short sleeve fitted top. Well, she assumed the top was made to be fitted, but on Hermione's current frame it bunched oddly. The short sleeves were an intentional choice. She didn't want them to see her having any shame. Any weaknesses. Now her most obvious scar was on full display. It was intended to be proof of how she'd earned her place in the Order, but she still found it hard for herself to look at it. She sighed dejectedly in the mirror. The denims also didn't stay up without a belt, and even then they were too loose. She hadn't had time to think about how she looked during the war.

Now, she thought about her new adoptive mother's impeccable appearance, and all the powerful witches and wizards she would be standing before tonight. She wanted to vomit. She had told Dorea she wanted to wear something Muggle. Something not very girly. Not that she looked much like a girl as she was now anyway. She was all sharp and boney and pale. She sighed and a curl that had escaped the clips fell in front of her eyes. She angrily pushed it back, but it just returned.

"Stop it!"

Of course, yelling at her hair hadn't been effective.

"You know, I don't think you hair is listening to you."

She turned and glared at Charlus who was standing in her doorway.

He just smiled kindly at her in his usual way.

"May I?" Hermione gave him a weary look before nodding.

While she'd bonded almost instantly with Dorea, Charlus was another matter. When Hermione had inquired earlier why Charlus didn't speak much with her, Dorea had simply said, "He's very much an empath, that one. I think he can feel you pain."

Now, he stepped forward and carefully tucked the curl under the clip before smiling sadly and patting her cheek twice.

"When I met Dorea, she was easily the most formidable Witch I had ever laid eyes on." He took a step back and placed a hand on her shoulder. "She is proud of you already. I think you are the daughter she always dreamed of. You have no need to worry about tonight. With Dorea at your side, you can't lose."

Hermione smiled nervously. Dorea had spent the last twenty-four hours coaching Hermione on the dynamics of the current Order. Hermione had expressed how she needed to earn their trust. They wouldn't win the war if they didn't trust her explicitly.

"Of course, I will be at your side as well. I trust you."

And there. That was what she needed. She reached forward and hugged him before she could talk herself out of it.

"Thank you," she whispered. He patted her between the shoulder blades before pulling them away.

"Let's go get 'em, tiger."

This time her smile couldn't be held back. She grabbed her journal from the end of her bed, and they walked together to meet Dorea. Charlus walked into the traveling room before her, but before she could follow she was intercepted by two stern looking teenage boys.

"And where do you think you're going, young lady," said James. She frowned.

"Where's Remus?" She stood on her toes to try and look over their shoulders, but they were both a good six inches taller than her at least.

"He had to go home for a few days, _but_ that isn't the answer to the question we asked!" James used a stiff finger to poke her right in between her collarbones. Hermione stumbled back a step (mostly in surprise), and James immediately looked regretful.

"Sorry Herm-"

Her temper flared and she interrupted him before he could say anything else.

"James, where I go is none of your business!"

She gathered her previous confidence and gave both of them a quick once-over. While James looked properly chastised, Sirius had his arms crossed in his usual suspicious manner.

"Hermione, dear? We're going to be late!" She heard Dorea yell from inside the room.

Hermione removed her fists from where she'd placed them on her hips and returned them to being crossed across her chest. The notebook was cradled protectively in her arms.

"Well I ought to be going. I'll see you boys, later."

And with that she entered the traveling room, and was immediately met by a smiling Dorea.

"They are just worried about you." Hermione rolled her eyes. "I have something for you, Hermione."

Hermione looked up at Dorea in surprise.

"I am loath to admit I took a peak at a spare piece of parchment you left in the office the other day."

From behind her back, Dorea pulled out a long thin box. Hermione gasped. She _knew _this box.

And now she knew _exactly _what she'd written on the parchment Dorea had seen.

_Check Ollivanders: Dragon heartstring core, ten and three-quarter inches, vine wood_

It was meant to be a reminder to her own overworked mind. It was _her _wand. Hermione felt the magic before she even opened the box, and soon as she had wrapped her fingers around the detailed wood.

She wanted to say thank you, but she couldn't find the words. She was too busy appreciating the gentle hum of familiar magic. Dorea and Charlus were both smiling proudly.

"It's mine. From before," said Hermione quietly.

"I figured as much," said a happy Dorea.

"When they snapped it I never imagined I'd see it again." Both the witch and wizard in front of her flinched. Losing your wand was like losing an extension of yourself. Hermione hugged them both. "Thank you. So much." She held them both for a few moments before releasing them.

"Alright. Ladies first." Charlus stepped back and gestured at the fireplace. Hermione took a step forward and steeled herself. She twisted her hair into a semblance of a knot at the back of her head and tucked her wand into it.

She disappeared into the floo with a quiet whisper of the address she'd memorised earlier.

When she stepped through she stumbled slightly and immediately righted herself. It was the same room as before, but this time she had a much more normal entrance and only half the people from before were here so far. Dorea had barely appeared behind her when Hermione started getting bombarded by questions from the present members.

One man in particular stepped right in front of her and held out his hand. He was wearing a wholly ridiculous violet top hat and soft yellow robes.

"Why hello, Miss Granger! My name is Dedalus Diggle, and I am so very, very pleased to meet you!"

Hermione tentatively reached out a hand and Mr. Diggle immediately reached out and met her halfway. Calling his handshake overly excited was an understatement. Hermione was sure she felt her wrist pop.

"I am very excited to hear about this plan of yours. Savior of the Wizarding World, you are!"

Hermione finally understood how Harry felt. She was even pretty sure he'd had a similar interaction with the very wizard in front of her now. She did not like this feeling. And she felt a pang when she could almost hear Ron's voice in her ear saying, "Our Mione! A savior! Now that's the dream!" Then Harry's exhausted sigh in her other ear.

Hermione shook herself. "Yes, that's very well, Mr. Diggle. Now if you would please release me, I would like to prepare myself for the briefing."

"Oh, yes. Quite!" He immediately released her and stepped aside with a dramatic flair. She resisted the urge to massage her wrists and moved carefully through the crowd of fifteen or so people to the head of the table where she'd seen Dumbledore standing at the last meeting. She heard Dorea and Charlus reassuring the members behind her, and tried to zone them out. She stopped walking when two identical red heads jumped in front of her. She guessed they were maybe five years her senior.

She got flashbacks to Fred and George, but immediately swallowed them down.

The two men were smiling down at her in a decidedly mischievous fashion.

"Oh. Hullo," she said carefully.

Their smiles grew.

"Hullo, little dragon. Allow us-"

"To introduce ourselves. This here is-"

"Gideon Prewett. And this is my younger and lesser brother-"

"Fabian Prewett. And may I assure you, fair lady. I am in no way lesser." At this he winked and lowered into a bow.

"At your service!"

Hermione probably would have smiled at their antics, but at the moment she was in all business mode and couldn't be bothered.

"Ah yes. I quite know who you two are, thank you!" She moved to side-step them, and they both watched with stunned expressions.

"She's immune to the-"

"Prewett charm! This is simply-"

"Unacceptable!"

Hermione this time made it all the way to the head of the table without interruptions and quickly opened her notebook to the appropriate page and read over her notes. She hadn't been paying any attention to the attendees, but when she looked up again a few minutes later, she found that all the seats were taken and the overfill was standing at the walls. Some were whispering amongst themselves, but they were all staring at her. She pushed down a blush, but she was sure it still showed when she felt Dorea's hand on her own where it'd been clenched on the tabletop. Hermione looked up. She made eye contact with a young, pregnant Molly Weasley, and smiled warmly. Molly was surprised at first, but she eventually returned the gesture.

Then Dumbledore entered with his usual flourish and silence ensued.

"Welcome. Thank you for joining us tonight," he said in an airy tone.

Dumbledore came and took the empty seat to the right of Charlus, and then all eyes returned to her.

This time she took his place at the head of the table.

When preparing for this meeting she had decided that the easiest method for doing this was full disclosure with a few exceptions. In her time there had been so many secrets. Too few clued in to what was necessary to win. If she was going to do this her way, she wasn't going to leave anyone in the dark.

"Miss Granger, please begin when you are ready."

She cleared her throat and started, "The information I am about to share is key to our success in the war. Which is why it is paramount that no one outside of this room is aware of the details." She'd come up with a particular idea the previous day. She pulled out a long blank piece of parchment and pulled her wand out from her hair which then tumbled down her back. She cast a few quiet charms on the parchment that she had been researching prior to the metting with a few dark added twists of her own making. "I have charmed this parchment, so that everyone who signs it will be held accountable. If you sign this paper, you are vowing to keep everything said in this room secret. If you break that vow you will be permanently silenced as a result. In other words, you will never speak a word again. It is irreversible, so I hope this is enough motivation to remain quiet." Her eyes swept the room and narrowed. "I assure you, if my trust is betrayed I _will_ know, and my personal vengeance will be swift and most unwanted."

With that she passed the parchment to Dorea, who signed it without hesitation.

"Is this really necessary?"

She met the eyes of Moody and her lips quirked when she said, "This is what I like to call, _constant vigilance_, Alastor Moody." Her smile grew when he laughed.

"Nicely said, Pup."

She turned back to the paper and watched as someone hesitated for a moment before signing their name.

Her smile dropped and her stern expression returned, "If you don't sign this, there will not be another opportunity to be briefed. I don't take kindly to spies, and I definitely don't take kindly to hesitance with this certain cause."

After this she watched with satisfaction as everyone in the room signed the paper. When it got to Dumbledore, she was intent. He seemed to eye the paper before signing it quickly, and passing it to Charlus who signed it without any fanfare.

"Excellent." She tucked the parchment back into her notebook for further charming later. "Now I may begin."

She had debated for a while on how to start this. She'd eventually decided on what she knew as the beginning. This information had been given to Harry when Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban during their first year.

"In five years, a seer by the name of Sybil Trelawney will approach Albus Dumbledore with a prophecy about the war. By this point half the people in this room will be dead."

There were gasps and cries, but she was expecting this. She knew she couldn't offer them words of reassurance because some of them she didn't even know how or when their deaths came to be. She moved on.

"The prophecy reads, '_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..._'

She'd had this prophecy memorised since it had first been revealed to her.

"The person the prophecy speaks of is a boy who is born July 31, 1980. His name will be Harry James Potter." She let the words fall out of her mouth. Harry James Potter. "He along with the rest of the Order will fall on June 14, 1995. This occurred just moments before I was sent here."

At this Hermione turned and shifted her eyes between Charlus and Dorea.

"He was my best friend," she said.

Charlus's expression was grim, and Dorea had wet eyes. They _knew _she had to be speaking of their grandson. His middle name was James.

"Is he…" Charlus started.

"James's son." She kept reminding herself that she'd decided on full disclosure.

"Does James…"

"He doesn't make it, but I'm going to save him." She looked at the two people that had essentially adopted her as their own daughter. She put as much determination into her next words. "I'm going to."

Dorea held back a sob. Hermione ignored her own heaving grief and looked up again. There was a heavy tension in the room now.

"My plan involves defeating Voldemort before this prophecy can come to pass."

"And how exactly are you going to do that, Pup?"

Everyone was relatively apprehensive now.

"Has anyone here heard of horcruxes?"

Everyone turned when Dumbledore sucked in a breath.

"Are you implying that he has split his soul, Miss Granger."

"Seven times."

At this Dumbledore reared back.

"But that's…"

She didn't let him finish.

"Which is why I was chosen to be sent back. I was taken because when I was caught by Snatchers they recognized me as Harry Potter's companion. We had destroyed three of them when I was caught. I am not sure if they destroyed more. I'm assuming not. I was the researcher. I knew how to look for them. The only reason I was kept alive by Voldemort for so long was because they assumed Harry would eventually come for me. I was bait, and I was a well of information on the Order. I'm guessing the only reason the Order didn't ever actually come was because they assumed that I was compromised. That was our protocol on snatched members." A few more gasps. McGonagall was now mumbling under her breath.

"You would just… give up on them?" Molly Weasley asked.

Hermione looked up. Molly Weasley was mortified. A few other members looked disgusted with the prospect as well. She remembered before they'd gone on the run in the summer after her third year, Charlie Weasley got snatched delivering a message to Aberforth in Hogsmeade. No one ever heard from him again. Molly had screamed for months that they had to go after him.

"We were losing the war. Saving one member, even if they were important, was a risk we couldn't take." Hermione turned and looked at Dumbledore when she said, "We were expendable."

Dorea had stopped crying, but this made her want to cry again. Hermione's hatred of the headmaster suddenly made sense. They'd left her there on _his _orders. Eight months she'd been there, and Dumbledore had probably had the resources to get her out the entire time. Hermione took a deep breath and leaned forward so that her hands were resting on the table, forearms out. _Mudblood_ and wrist scars on full display.

"I know what the Horcruxes are, where they are for the most part, how to destroy them, and this time _no one _is expendable." She looked at the terrified but determined faces of the members around her. Dorea had a look of pride on her face. Hermione held onto that as she continued.

"Tom Riddle's Diary, Marvolo Gaunt's Ring, Salazar Slytherin's Locket, Helga Hufflepuff's Cup, Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, and Nagini."

"That's only six," said someone she didn't recognize.

"The seventh won't be created until 1981," she responded.

"Out of curiosity, what is the seventh Horcrux?" Dumbledore asked. Hermione sighed and stood up straight again.

"The Seventh Horcrux was Harry." There were a few shocked faces, but for the most part everyone seemed to be accepting of this overload of information. "He will feel when we destroy them. He'll get weaker. I propose we find all of them, besides Nagini, and keep them until we are ready for a final battle. Then we'll destroy them all at once, get the snake, and kill him when he is at his weakest. I suggest everyone in this room learn Occlumency."

After this last suggestion Hermione finally took a seat.

"I am still developing a plan to retrieve all of the Horcruxes," she said with a sigh.

She looked up and everyone was still staring at her expectantly.

"For now, are there any questions?" For a second, there was silence, and then several people spoke up at once.

"How are we supposed to learn Occlumency?"

"When will we start looking for the Horcruxes?"

"You said you know where they are for the most part… how are we supposed to find the rest?"

Hermione was getting overwhelmed.

Charlus stood up.

"Enough!"

Everyone quieted for a moment and stared at the usually quiet man.

"Hermione is still recovering. That is quite enough for tonight. When she has a plan, you will know. For now, Dorea and I will be taking her home."

Hermione smiled up at him gratefully before Dorea reached out and helped her gather her notes.

It had been quite some time since she had been the recipient of any kind of stern parenting, and for the first time in her life, it hadn't bothered her.

"Thank you, Charlus."

He put a solid hand on her shoulder when she stood and silently started heading in the direction of the floo.

"You don't have to answer these questions tonight, Hermione."

Not even Dumbledore protested when they each reached for a handful of floo powder.

When they got back to Potter Manor, Hermione bid them a quick goodnight then scrambled up to her room. She was physically and emotionally exhausted which only tripled when she walked in to see James and Sirius playing a game of exploding snap on her bedroom floor.

"Oh," she whispered. They both managed to hear her and looked up.

"Oh indeed." James was back to his odd attempt at looking suspicious while serious did it without any effort.

"Hullo. Did you guys need something?" She carefully walked over to her dresser and put the notebook in. She cast a silent locking charm before turning back to them. They were both looking at each other and having what looked like a silent argument before Sirius sighed and looked up at her.

"You were screaming in your sleep last night," he said matter of factly.

Hermione didn't know what she was expecting, but that hadn't been it. Her entire body tensed, and she looked anywhere in the room but at the two boys in front of her. She could feel a blush spreading across her entire body.

"Was I?"

She was thankful she had a wand now and would be able to cast silencing charms.

When they didn't say anything she added, "Sorry, it won't happen again."

James looked taken back by that and both boys jumped to their feet. He then walked straight up to her and pulled her into his arms. Such blatant affection like this, was something she was still getting used to.

"Hermione, we aren't saying that you have to stop or anything…" Then he stepped back and looked thoughtful. "Although, I'm sure if you had any control over it, you would have stopped already."

Sirius stepped forward, "What Jamie is trying to say, is that we're worried about you." Sirius reached forward and put his hands on her shoulders. The odd display was reminiscent of the Sirius she'd known briefly in her own time, and for a second she had trouble discerning the two in her head. "Kitten?"

The nickname was making it even more difficult. She's always assumed that the older Sirius called her that because of his odd bond with Crookshanks. But this Sirius in front of her had never even met her half kneazle companion.

"Why do you call me that?"

As soon as the question was out of her mouth she immediately wanted to take it back.

"Never mind don't answer."

She shook her head, and the blush got darker. She was screaming at herself in her head to get a grip, and Sirius was smiling at her like he had some big secret. She had just spent an hour talking about the war, but these two boys in front of her were somehow worse.

She changed the subject, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

James looked like was in deep consideration for a moment before saying, "Have you tried Dreamless Sleep?"

Hermione was immediately shaking her head again. "Pomfrey has left a couple doses for me, but I won't take it."

"Why not? What if it helps?"

"It's addictive, and I can't become reliant on it. I'll just tough it out," she admitted.

Honestly though, the Dreamless Sleep Potion sitting in the drawer of her bedside table had been getting more and more tempting. The nightmares were like she was still there in _that_ place, but she hadn't known she'd been screaming.

"I have a proposition," said Sirius, who still had one hand on her shoulder. He removed it to clap his hands together. "Maybe you're having nightmares because you're alone! We'll move a couple beds in here, and all sleep in your room until we go back to school."

Hermione was skeptical at best.

"I don't know…"

James was slapping Sirius on the shoulder.

"That's a great idea, Sirius!"

"I don't know if I feel comfortable…"

It wasn't sleeping with two boys in the room that was concerning her. She'd done that plenty with Harry and Ron when they were on the run. It was her concern over what they might hear. If she was screaming in her sleep, who's to say she wasn't talking too?

"Nope! No arguments, Hermione. We'll be your knights in shining armour, and save you from all the demons in that giant brain of yours." James tapped her on the forehead once and ran out of the room. Sirius and Hermione could hear him yelling for Tilly from down the hall.

Sirius turned and smiled that same secretive smile again, "Don't you worry, kitten. Jamie's snoring will drown out all the scary voices in your head."

Hermione seriously doubted it. "Right…"

"Well, get in some pajamas, and I am sure James has Tilly working on the beds," he said as he followed James out of the room. Hermione took a moment to survey her space. There was definitely room for the two boys, so that excuse was out of the question. Why did Pureblood manors have to be so ostentatious? She sighed resignedly.

Ten minutes later she emerged from the loo to a maze of beds, and a very happy house elf speaking excitedly to James and Sirius.

"Tilly is very happy you is taking care of Mistress Hermione like this. Tilly hears Mistress Hermione in her sleep. Mistress Hermione screams for help! Mister James and Mister Sirius will help her now!"

Hermione wearily walked behind the elf and climbed into her bed.

"Tilly, it's only for tonight!" Hermione yelled.

Both looked a lot more subdued when they looked at her this time. She assumed it had to do with Tilly's submission about how she'd screamed for help.

"You's be saying that now, Mistress, but when they help you, you won't ever let them leave."

Hermione sighed for the umpteenth time and climbed under her covers. James's bed was directly next to hers, and Sirius's was horizontal at the foot of her own.

"Good night!"

With that Tilly popped out of the room, and an awkward silence took place.

Hermione was laying on her side facing away from James when she said, "If I scream, just shake me until I wake up."

Sirius sighed.

"Yeah, okay," said James. If she hadn't been so exhausted, she would've questioned him about his sarcastic tone.

She fell asleep mad at herself for feeling so comforted with the boys so close. They were just another form of Dreamless Sleep.

* * *

**AN: Alright guys! SO I clearly have changed the entire timeline of books 1-7 of the Harry Potter series. More of what actually happened will be revealed as we go. This was a pretty long chapter though. From this point forward their will be many more Marauders/Hermione interactions, so don't lose hope! I am trying to make the development of their bonds realistic. Hermione is currently untrusting, traumatized, and in soldier mode. The boys are still silly teenage boys. **

**Anyway let me know what you think, and thank you for reading!**


	7. Guys Night

**AN: I'm thinking this fic will probably be close to 50 chapters? If I had to give an estimate. Bare with me on this journey! I decided to write this because it was rattling around in my brain, and I seriously couldn't get it out of my head. SO I really didn't expect to get more than 1 or 2 followers, so 20 (even though it may not seem like a lot) IS a lot to me! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this! Thank you so much for reading and following:)**

**This chapter is pretty angsty because it felt necessary and I am a sucker**

**I hope the POV changes don't get too confusing. I just write from whoever feels right for the situation.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own it**

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Chapter 7:Guys Night

Hermione had four nights of blissful sleep in a row before it went down the drain.

Remus had returned around noon that day looking pale and sickly. Hermione was introduced to the rather impressive Potter library while the boys disappeared outside to play quidditch. She pulled any and all books she could find on topics ranging from time travel to war strategy. She'd taken a sandwich from Tilly when the elf had told her it was dinner time, but other than that she'd spent the entire day taking notes and researching. It wasn't until late in the evening that she had been pulled from her notes by someone dropping into the chair next to her. She nearly jumped out of her skin and in seconds had her wand pointed at a clearly terrified James Potter.

His hands flew up in the universal sign of surrender, and Hermione took a few deep breaths before carefully sliding into the seat next to him again.

James was still looking at her wearily when she finally forced herself to look at him.

"Sorry," she whispered.

She took in his shocked face. He was flushed and sweaty from flying, and his glasses were sitting crookedly on her nose.

Automatically she reached up and adjusted the glasses for him like she'd done a million times before.

He blinked a few times in surprise, and she had to remind herself that she hadn't done this a million times with James because James wasn't Harry. She flushed in embarrassment and looked back to her notes.

"Sorry. My best friend… before… he had glasses too. They were always crooked."

"Oh." James, if possible, seemed even more surprised that she had admitted this. "You should talk about them more. It might help."

Hermione responded with a quick shake of her head. She definitely couldn't do _that_.

James got the message and moved on.

"Well, anyway, I came in to let you know that we're sleeping in our own rooms tonight for some guy time. You've been doing okay, but I also wanted to be sure you knew you could come get me if you need something."

Hermione's instant response was to panic. She felt herself shrinking into the back of the chair. She had just thought about how well she was doing this morning when she woke up feeling well rested for the third day in a row.

"Oh."

The slight tremble in her voice made her flinch.

"Hermione. Is that okay? I mean I'm sure we can convince Remus to come stay in your room with us if you want."

Now she was embarrassed. She imagined them approaching Remus to ask him to stay in her room because she had a bad dream, and she flushed. She tried to sit up straight and lift her chin.

"No, I think I'll be quite alright tonight."

It felt like a lie as soon as it left her mouth, but she wasn't taking it back now.

James smiled at her, patted her shoulder, and shot out of his chair like a light.

"That's great!" His smile widened, and he started backing out of the room. "I'm serious though, you can come get us if you need something," he said as he reached the doorway.

She nodded and attempted a smile before turning back to her notes.

She needed to be able to sleep by herself because she now had just over a month to get her nightmares under control before she went back to Hogwarts.

It wasn't until nearly one in the morning that she finally convinced herself to attempt and get some sleep. She carefully packed her stuff up and walked up to her room. Down the hall she could hear the boys laughing and yelling from the guest room. She was tempted for a second to just go and force them to let her stay with them, but Sirius's booming laughing interrupted that train of thought.

She quickly scrambled into her room so she wouldn't do something to embarrass herself, and got ready for bed faster than she ever had before.

She fell asleep completely covered by blankets and with her wand clutched tightly between her fingers.

* * *

Meanwhile, Remus, Sirius, and James were down the hall making their best effort to destroy the guest room.

Well Sirius and James.

They had gotten into a disagreement about something or another and before Remus knew it they'd started wrestling on the rug in the middle of the room.

Remus was busy reading some book, but a conversation he'd had with them earlier was still circling through his mind.

They'd just finished flying and were all sprawled in the grass. Remus had only been able to do lazy circles considering how he was still feeling tired and rather ill after the full moon a couple days ago.

"Remus how are your parents?"

He sucked in a breath. Sighed.

"Still scared of me. Still don't want me."

Sirius slapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Mine don't want me either."

Sirius suddenly sat up and gave them a look that usually meant great trouble.

"What is it?" Asked Remus.

"I have a bottle of Ogden's in my trunk." He had jumped up and clapped his hands together. "Tonight, we are getting royally pissed," he said with his large grin.

Remus sighed and waited for James equally excited reaction, but instead James looked mildly troubled.

"Sirius…" James looked over at Remus nervously before continuing in a whisper, "What about Hermione? She needs us."

At that point Remus had gotten really confused. He couldn't have missed that much in just a couple days, could he? Sirius suddenly deflated.

"What's wrong with Hermione?" Remus asked cautiously.

_Besides the obvious._

Remus hadn't voiced that part, but then again, he hadn't needed to. Remus was slightly affronted when both of his friends ignored him and continued their hushed conversation.

"She's been doing okay, right?" Sirius asked, but he sounded unsure of himself. "We can ask Tilly to come get us if she needs us.

"I think that the only reason she's been fine is because we've been there, Sirius. Tilly said it was every night before we started being there."

"You're right." Sirius sounded resigned, but he had an oddly serious and determined look on his face.

"Guys?" Remus was getting aggravated. James gave him a look.

"Later," he said with finality. He stood up and dusted off his pants. "I'll go talk to her. You think she's still in the library?"

"She'd definitely still in the library," Sirius responded with a fond sort of smile on his face. Remus blanched. That was a kind of smile that Remus had never seen from Sirius before. He gave appreciative and appraising looks but never _fond_.

Now, Remus was mildly drunk, James and Sirius were _more_ than mildly drunk, and Remus wanted answers.

"Guys." They stopped their fighting and flopped down on the ground next to each other.

"Yeah?"

"What did you mean earlier? Why does Hermione need you?"

"Well, that's sobering. She has nightmares when we don't sleep in there with her." Sirius was speaking very matter of factly.

"You've been sleeping in there?"

Remus was suddenly wracked with guilt. James nodded morosely from his spot on the ground.

"Do you think we should…" Remus trailed off and reached a hand up to scratch the back of his neck.

"Just say it, Remus," James slurring contrasted with his serious tone.

Remus squared his shoulders and said, "We should check on her."

Sirius and James were up and walking towards the door without any hesitation. Remus scrambled to follow them before he realized that it was almost one in the morning.

"Wait! What if she's sleeping?"

"We're just going to check," James said. Remus looked at him nervously when James stumbled and then started using the wall to crawl the rest of the way down the hall. Sirius snickered under his breath.

When they made it to Hermione's room the door was shut and there was no noise coming from inside.

"Should we knock?" Sirius now seemed slightly uncomfortable.

"Again, what if she's sleeping?"

"Good point, Remus!" Then before Remus could protest Sirius reached forward and opened the door before walking into the room.

There was moonlight coming from the window across the room and right in the middle of the large bed was a trembling lump of blankets.

The floorboards creaked under Sirius's feet and suddenly a head emerged from the lump and big terrified eyes were staring down the three boys. Seconds later they all threw their hands up when she pointed her wand at them.

Remus stared at her and realized mildly that she took bed head to an entirely new level. It was a wild mane of static filled curls flying in every direction.

"What do you want from me!" She sounded about as wild as her hair looked, and her eyes were glazed over in a way that made Remus think she wasn't all that lucid.

"Hermione?" James asked. He had somehow managed to sober up a little bit when the panic from the situation caught up to him. Her eyes stopped darting in between them and settled on James. Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Then to everyone in the room's surprise she burst into tears and lowered her wand. She launched herself off the bed and into James's arms who stumbled a little under the weight, but managed to catch her.

"Harry! I knew you'd come for me! They said you wouldn't, but I knew you would!" Her words were broken up from the sobs, but she kept going anyway, "I know Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted you to come for me, but I hoped you wouldn't listen to him." She was shaking and completely hysterical. James looked at Sirius and Remus over her shoulder, and both of them had equal looks of panic. "I never told him anything I promise. I kept my oath!"

"Him?" Remus asked without thinking about it. And what was she talking about? Oath?

"Voldemort." Her face was buried in the fabric of James's t-shirt, so she missed the way all three boys grew very pale and continued rambling. "He did awful things, Harry. I knew he was bad, but…" She trailed off and started drawing in breaths so quickly Remus worried she couldn't breathe. "I'm ruined now. He _ruined _me."

Suddenly things started making sense to Remus. The scars. The panic attacks. The nightmares. Her dead family. Voldemort had done those things.

"But I didn't break the oath! I protected you. I did it for you, Harry. All for you." The last part was what seemed to do it for James.

His inebriated brain spoke before his rationality could stop him.

"Who's Harry?" Remus and Sirius were both shaking their heads wildly at James.

They all held their breaths when Hermione froze and slowly pulled away from James.

"Harry?"

Her voice sounded so choked up and broken that James immediately regretted saying anything at all. He remained silent. Suddenly Hermione was pulling all the way out of James's arms and backing up slowly.

"You're not…" She trailed off and clutched at her forehead. "Oh god…"

Sirius stepped towards her, finally recovering from the shock of everything that had been revealed in the past couple of minutes. Her back was to him and he could see her trying to breathe deeply.

"Kitten, I think you should get back in bed."

He took another step towards her and could hear her mumbling under breath. When he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder she started shaking again.

"Get out of my head!"

She was back to hysterics. James regained his senses and started pulling her towards her bed.

"Make them stop. Please make them stop."

Remus reached for the tangled pile of what had to be five or so blankets and started pulling them apart. James pulled her onto the bed and she curled into a ball and latched onto the hem of his t-shirt.

"Don't leave." James smiled gently at her before laying down in the open space next to her. There was a good amount of distance between them, but she wouldn't let go of James's shirt. He sighed and scooted a couple inches closer.

"It's okay, Hermione. We're right here. We won't leave again." James looked over his shoulder and gave both Sirius and Remus a look before looking pointedly at the other side of the bed. Sirius immediately understood and walked around to crawl into the open space on the opposite side of Hermione. Remus hesitated for a moment before quickly laying the blankets out on top of the three and crawling in at the tight spot next to Sirius.

He realized quickly that being squished in this bed was surprisingly comfortable. He listened carefully as slowly Hermione's breath started to calm.

"I think she's asleep," whispered Sirius. Remus looked over and watched as Sirius reached for her hand that wasn't holding onto James's shirt and gently took it.

"You-know-who had her," said Remus.

He heard James suck in a breath from across the bed.

"No more guys nights," said Sirius.

"No. I 'spose not."

* * *

Hermione woke up suspiciously warm and with a puffy face. She was laying under her pile of blankets and realized almost immediately that both of her hands were being held. Her eyes flew open in panic.

"Shhh. It's okay."

She looked towards the voice and saw a weary looking Sirius Black laying only inches away.

The events of the night before crashed over her and she closed her eyes in shame. She wasn't supposed to _need _anyone.

His thumb brushed over her knuckles.

She sucked in a breath and opened her eyes. Sirius was giving her a look that she'd never seen before. She realized it was because all of the distrust that had been lingering in his eyes since she'd shown up had disappeared.

_It's because you revealed too much, stupid girl!_

The voice this time was undoubtedly Severus Snape's. She cringed and closed her eyes again. Someone on the other side of her shifted and she looked over to see a very ruffled James Potter snoring quietly.

She'd thought he was Harry. She'd _called_ him Harry.

Her and James's connected hands were resting on the bed next to her. She turned back towards Sirius and looked into his cool grey eyes.

Before she could stop herself, she said so quietly he could barely hear her, "Voldemort killed him."

"Him?"

"Harry. He was… my best friend."

Sirius maintained his cool face, but in his head, he could hear her desperate voice from the night before.

_I protected you. I did it for you, Harry. All for you._

He was going to be sick. Whatever she'd been through at the hands of Voldemort had been to protect this Harry fellow, who was now dead. Sirius blinked at her a few times before squeezing her hands.

"James reminds me of him," whispered Hermione. Sirius had guess as much. Sirius felt Remus's hand reach up and squeeze his shoulder.

"Go back to sleep, kitten. It's still really early."

Hermione nodded at him before closing her eyes and burrowing deeper into her blankets.

Sirius didn't go back to sleep.

* * *

**AN: Sorry this is such a short chapter compared to the others, and it took twice as long. I struggled with the flow, and rewrote it like twelve times. Please review and let me know what you're thinking!**


	8. Definitely Gryffindor

**AN: FINALLY she's at Hogwarts! Rejoice!**

**To answer some of the reviews from a guest account: I plan on making Hermione a Animagus, but she doesn't know how yet. I realized my mistake about Nagini while writing the previous chapter, but since this is a fanfiction I decided to just run with it and go with the fact that Nagini is indeed a horcrux already for plot purposes. As far as your other questions you'll just have to wait and see;)**

**Also almost 50 followers! What ! That shits wild.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

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**Chapter Eight: Definitely Gryffindor**

After that morning where she woke up and said the admission about Harry she found it harder and harder to hold back small confessions. At random points in conversation she would give very vague and slight declarations. Even if there was no context, or it was unclear what she was talking about, Remus, James, and Sirius would give her complete undivided attention.

"I got snatched when I was on the run." The four of them had been eating breakfast. She didn't look up, but everyone else did. "We were… looking for something. They caught all three of us."

"All three?" James asked.

"Harry and Ron. They were rescued that same day, but they couldn't get to me."

"They came back for you, right?" Remus was scared to ask.

"Two-hundred and twenty-three."

They were all confused.

"Two-hundred and twenty-three what?"

"Days," she whispered. It was barely audible, but they all heard.

Then she kept eating and no more questions were asked.

That night there was no doubt where everyone was sleeping. They piled in bed. This time Remus and James held her hands and Sirius sprawled out at the foot of the bed.

The next day it was in the library.

She was laying on the ground by the fire. Remus was the only other in the room, and he was relaxing on the couch with a book.

"Ron read Babbity Rabbity to me. We were in the tent, and I had never read it before." Her voice was stronger this time. It was a rather fond memory for her. It had been so out of character.

"That's why you thought I was him," he said quietly. She nodded from her place on the ground. When she fell asleep a couple hours later, he carried her up to bed.

Then the backyard.

Diagon Alley when shopping for supplies.

Right before they all fell asleep.

"They kept me in chains in the dungeon."

"Voldemort's favorites were the Cruciatus and Legilimency."

"She carved this into my arm with a cursed blade. It will never heal or fade."

And so on. Sirius was the worst at hearing it. He would sit and listen and then as soon as she was done he would storm off somewhere to let off steam. Remus would sit there stoically and put a mask up, so she wouldn't be able to tell how sick he was feeling. James was openly distraught and more affectionate than she ever remembered Harry being. He'd taken to quick kisses on her forehead and holding her hand so tight she lost feeling.

She noticed with every confession she felt lighter, but there were some things she wouldn't tell them. Wasn't _ready_ to tell them.

But she hoped she would one day.

She hadn't lied to them yet, and she never wanted to. But withholdings of truth were, at certain points, absolutely necessary.

When it was finally time to leave for Hogwarts she was ready.

* * *

Hermione was standing on Platform Nine and Three Quarters again. She never imagined she would be back here, and especially not with the crowd she was currently standing with. She was sandwiched protectively between Sirius and Remus and watching quietly as Charlus and Dorea whispered quietly to James. She was wearing a large jumper and some simple trousers and fidgeting nervously. Her fingers were tangled into the fabric of Sirius's sleeve. Then James was holding out his hand and Dorea and Charlus were looking at her.

"Hermione, dear, come here," said Dorea. Hermione let go of Sirius's shirt and reached for James.

He pulled her toward them and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, Mum and Dad. I'll take care of her." Hermione poked him in the side. "Not that she needs it." He smiled down at her, "You would totally kick my arse."

"James!"

"Sorry, Mum! Language, I know."

Hermione stepped forward and wrapped both the Potter's in a tight hug.

She whispered, "Thank you. For everything."

When she pulled away Charlus was giving her his sad smile, and Dorea looked like she hadn't wanted to let go.

"Be careful," Dorea said. She gave Hermione a pointed look.

"Send us an owl when you get sorted." Charlus winked and Hermione laughed.

"Look, it's Pete!"

Hermione turned and saw Peter Pettigrew walk up to stand next to Sirius. How had she forgotten about Peter?

"Hey guys."

_My parents. He betrayed my parents._

Harry's voice.

It had been popping up more often and usually at the most inconvenient of times.

"Hermione, you coming?"

She shook herself and took Remus's elbow.

She had prepared herself mentally for what she assumed would be the hardest parts about going back to school, but now she wasn't sure she was actually ready.

Hogwarts was a microcosm of petty drama and self-fulfilled stereotypes.

Death Eaters and Dark Lords she understood. Teenage girls and preening boys she didn't.

So she squeezed Remus and let him pull her to the compartment at the back of the train where Sirius put hers and everyone else's trunks up. She took the spot in-between Sirius and James and let out a breath. Remus and Peter sat across from them and almost immediately a conversation started up.

Hermione took a moment to think about the sorting. She had decided on Gryffindor which really wasn't all that surprising.

She was focusing on a spot on the bench in front of her when the compartment door slid open and standing there was a very pretty and put-together red-head.

"Remus Lupin," she had the commanding sort of voice like she was always building up to a good verbal lashing. "I am sure you haven't forgotten that we have a Prefects meeting at the front of the train?"

Remus looked up from his book.

"Of course, Lily. Give me a mo."

"Lily-flower, you are somehow even more beautiful than you were last year," said James from beside Hermione.

She ignored him.

Lily's eyes slid over Peter and towards the bench where Hermione was sitting.

_That's my mum, Mione._

Hermione sucked in a breath when she made eye-contact with Lily. She had forgotten she'd see his eyes again. So green and deep. The weight of how much she missed him hit her like a freight train. She shuddered.

Sirius reached over and took her hand. Lily took in the motion and narrowed her eyes.

"Have a new plaything already, Sirius?"

Hermione didn't react. She couldn't stop looking at her eyes which were now staring down Sirius with disapproval.

Sirius jumped up, but didn't release her hand.

"Don't start, Evans! It's not like that!"

Hermione looked up at Sirius and realized what was happening. His eyes were on fire, and he was standing like he wasn't above punching Lily straight in the face. Hermione stood up and stepped in front of him. She tried to let go of his hand, but he only squeezed tighter.

"It's okay, Sirius," she whispered. He showed no signs that he had heard her at all. She sighed and turned towards Lily.

"Hullo. My name is Hermione," she said as pleasantly as she could manage. She couldn't break eye-contact and she watched as Lily's eyes widened almost comically.

She'd seen that look before.

She looks so much like you, Harry.

Hermione blinked as quickly as she could to stop the tears that had sprung to her eyes, and she could see Lily begin to panic. She hadn't meant to make the girl cry.

She quickly grabbed Hermione's left hand (since her right was busy losing circulation in Sirius's large, callused one) and shook it enthusiastically.

"Pleasure!"

Hermione smiled nervously, squeezed Sirius's hand, and sunk back into her seat where she closed her eyes.

It was silent for a few moments before Remus cleared his throat and stood. Hermione felt Sirius slide back into his seat, and begin to loosen his hold.

"Right, well, Lily let's go."

"Yes, alright. It was nice to meet you." Hermione hummed in acknowledgment, but didn't open her eyes.

Then they were gone and Hermione let the breath go that she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Kitten?"

She opened her eyes and continued blinking spastically. When her vision cleared she saw Peter, James, and Sirius staring at her imploringly.

_Merlin, Mione, you need to calm down._

She almost laughed. She was definitely losing her mind. Hermione leaned her head on James's shoulder and closed her eyes again.

"I'm just tired," she said. "I think I'm just going to sleep a bit."

James pressed a kiss to the top of her head and sighed.

Once Hermione's breath had evened out and her hand had gone limp, Sirius looked over at James and gave him a dirty look.

"Oi! What was that for!" James was making a poor attempt at whisper yelling which only fueled Sirius's glare.

"Your Lily-flower, essentially called our Hermione a floozy!"

Sirius's whisper wasn't any better than James's.

Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He'd clearly missed some kind of bonding between the Marauders and the girl who never even looked at him. James looked down at his shoes in shame.

"Yes, that wasn't exactly her brightest moment."

* * *

Hermione slept the rest of the train ride and before she knew it she was being woken up to put on her robes before they arrived.

It was odd, she thought, to be wearing school robes again, but then again everything that she had done so far in this timeline had felt odd and out of place. It was all just so normal.

Once they were off the train she followed closely behind Sirius and James as they led her and Peter to a carriage, and then in what felt like the shortest ride of her life the castle began to loom out in front of them.

She was stopped by McGonagall before she could follow the boys into the Great Hall.

"Miss Granger. I'm afraid you'll have to wait out here until Professor Dumbledore calls you in to be sorted."

Hermione nodded and smiled reassuringly at the boys lingering in the doorway.

James looked particularly unwilling to leave.

"I'll be okay, James." He raised his eyebrows. "Promise."

"I promised my parents," he said carefully.

"Please tell me you aren't planning on not leaving my side all year."

James sputtered, "Well, no I was planning on leaving you be when you're in the loo."

Hermione laughed and then realized he wasn't kidding.

"James, you've got to be kidding!" She was gaping at the serious look on his face. "I promise I can take care of myself when need be!"

He let out a sigh and then pointed as menacingly as he could manage at McGonagall.

"Don't let anyone hurt her, or I'll know whose fault it is, Minnie!" McGonagall looked wholly affronted, and James realized his mistake a little too late. He shrank down like a toddler with his hand in the cookie jar. "Please," he whispered.

"Mr. Potter!"

James ran up and kissed the top of Hermione's head before turning and running into the Great Hall after Sirius and Peter.

Hermione was actually giggling and McGonagall still had a disbelieving look on her face.

"Sorry about him. I think he imagines himself to be an over-protective big brother," said Hermione quietly. McGonagall shook herself and looked at her.

"Well I believe an over-protective brother is something that will do you some good, Miss Granger."

Hermione smiled at her. Professor McGonagall had been her favorite Professor in her three years at Hogwarts.

"Now, you will be getting sorted before the first years, and I imagine the news that there is a transfer will cause quite the uproar with the other students. I hope it won't draw any unwanted attention.

"Me as well."

McGonagall opened her mouth to say something else, but right then the doors to the Great Hall that had closed after James swung open again.

"Yes, well that would be your cue. Continue on, Miss Granger."

Hermione frowned and looked into the Great Hall which had started to slowly grow silent when the doors had opened. She could see all the students swiveling their heads to get a look at who the transfer student exactly was.

Hermione took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and began the long trek to the dreaded stool at the front. She could hear whispers and feel eyes tracking her movement, but she did her best to ignore them and sat herself on the stool.

Soon, the large sorting hat was covering her vision.

_Ah, you are a challenge!_

_You possess the qualities of all houses. Cunning, knowledge seeking, loyal, and undoubtedly brave!_

_Hmm… You have the will necessary to do anything to accomplish your goals, maybe it ought to be Slytherin?_

_But no, you have muggle blood, so that just wouldn't do. Unwavering loyalty? Perhaps I should make you a badger? HA, no I should think not._

_Ravenclaw would be a good choice…_

_But I think it ought to be,_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Hermione let out a sigh of relief, and her eyes automatically landed on her four boys clapping and yelling louder than anyone in Gryffindor. She hopped off the stool and walked as quickly as she could to the middle of the table where they were sitting and was promptly lifted straight off her feet in a tight hug from Sirius.

She laughed and hugged him back, but after a few seconds she was back on the ground and being pulled by her hand to the spot next to Remus. Sirius slid into the place next to her and threw his arm around her.

"Told you, you had nothing to worry about Jamie!" Sirius bellowed.

"Hermione, you scared us! The hat was on your head longer than I have ever seen!" James was red in the face sitting across from her. Hermione leaned over and straightened his glasses.

"Yes, well I can't wait to send an owl home and tell Dorea and Charlus that the hat wanted to put me in Slytherin," she said teasingly.

James's jaw quite literally dropped and he stared at her with disbelief.

Remus nudged her and said quietly, "I didn't know you had some snake in you, Mione."

Hermione froze. The last time someone had called her Mione, it had been Harry and Ron right before Dobby had taken them to safety. They had screamed it and been reaching for her, but she had been half-pinned beneath a chandelier.

_We tried to come back for you, but no elf would take us._

Hermione was starting to wonder what this voice in her head's purpose was when she felt someone poke her cheek.

"You alright there, Hermione? We lost you for a second."

"Not Mione," she whispered.

Remus looked guilty and confused, and Sirius and James were leaning close so they could hear.

"The last thing Ron and Harry ever said to me was Mione."

Remus's lips thinned, and he smiled carefully at her.

"Right then. Not Mione."

Hermione took a deep breath, and then a hand was slammed on the table next to James and all four of them jumped.

"Boys. I demand you introduce me to your new charge right this instant."

Sirius smirked.

"Hullo, Marlene." He gave the girl an appreciative onceover and the girl matched his expression. Hermione frowned and looked at her. She was tall and curvy and had perfect, straight blonde hair. Her eyes were a bright blue, and her skin was golden in what appeared to be a nice summer tan.

"Marlene McKinnon, meet Hermione Granger."

Her eyes turned towards her, and Marlene grinned.

"I see you've wrangled these fellows. You must be quite the witch."

Hermione smiled then.

"It wasn't easy."

Marlene laughed and sat on the other side of Peter. Just then the first years began to pour into the Great Hall and everyone quieted down for the sorting.

Hermione paid rapt attention to everyone that got sorted. Some noteworthy were Kingsley Shacklebolt (Gryffindor), Edgar Bones (Hufflepuff), and Charity Burbage (Ravenclaw). Other than that, she didn't know anyone. Then the food started appearing and she almost cried at all the smells and warm soups. She put a couple things on her plate and was about to start eating when suddenly more potatoes were being spooned there, and then some more vegetables, and then some more steak and kidney pie. She looked up to the suspiciously innocent faces of Sirius, Remus, and James.

Remus leaned over and whispered, "If you don't eat it all James will have an aneurism."

Hermione looked at James who looked pointedly at the food on her plate.

Hermione frowned but picked up her fork nonetheless.

She ate nearly all of it before her stomach started to protest and she pushed her plate forward to rest her forehead on the wooden table.

She groaned and could hear Sirius laughing at her. She kicked at his ankles and frowned.

Later, Amos Diggory as Head Boy lead the Gryffindors up to their tower and everyone walked to their rooms for bed. Eventually, it emptied out completely. Hermione was left standing in the common room rather unsure of herself when an apologetic looking Lily Evans popped up right in front of her.

"Hullo. Professor McGonagall told me that you have your own room right at the bottom of the stairs."

"Oh. Thank you, Lily," said Hermione. She turned to start walking towards the stairs when Lily stopped her with a hand on her forearm.

"Wait! I also wanted to-"

Hermione flinched and tried to pull away, but Lily held tight.

"Um, Hermione?"

Hermione looked up and saw that Lily was staring at the place on her wrist where the sleeve of her robe had ridden up. It was only the scars from the shackles, but Hermione guessed they could still be pretty gruesome to someone who probably had only ever scraped their knees.

Hermione could feel that familiar panic begin to fog up her brain. She yanked her wrist, but Lily still wouldn't let go.

"What are these from?"

Hermione felt trapped.

"Please let go."

She knew what she would do if the person holding her wrist was a Death Eater, but the person trapping her wasn't a Death Eater, it was Lily Evans. A very concerned Lily Evans.

"Are you okay?"

Hermione's breathing was getting quick, and she could feel her vision start to go black around the edges.

"Hermione!"

Then she felt herself falling and Lily's small arms trying to catch her. They both ended up on the floor with Hermione's head sideways on Lily's lap, and Lily's hand clutching tightly at Hermione's wrist.

"Someone get Potter!"

She realized after she said it that she was the only one in the common room. Lily had tears in her eyes as she carefully held on to Hermione.

Suddenly a door slammed against a wall somewhere and all four of the Marauders were flying down the stairs. Well, all but Peter who was hesitantly trailing after them. Lily should've known Remus would be able to hear her. James carefully pulled Hermione from her arms.

"What did you do, Evans!" It was Sirius Black.

"I didn't mean to! She just passed out!"

"Hermione doesn't just pass out! Something had to have happened."

"Sirius, you should stop yelling or all of Gryffindor will come down," said Remus carefully. James was carefully patting Hermione's cheeks and calling her name.

"Remus is right. We should take her to her room."

"You can't! Boys aren't allowed on the girl's stairs!"

Sirius gave her a withering glance and said, "Come on, Evans. You know I found a way around that ages ago."

Lily looked flabbergasted.

James quickly gathered Hermione up and carried her to the door where Lily pointed after Sirius cast some sort of spell that allowed them through. Luckily, they only had to go up a few steps.

None of the boys questioned why Hermione had her own room as they carried her quickly to the bed and laid her out. Lily threw a fit when James climbed in after her, but quickly stopped when all the boys turned and leveled her with a glare.

Sirius Black's anger was something she was used to, but Remus and James not so much.

Lily wasn't an idiot. She'd found out Remus Lupin was a werewolf after all. Something was seriously wrong with Hermione Granger, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

Right before Lily turned to leave, she heard Hermione's soft cries.

"I'm sorry. I just blacked out. I don't know what happened!"

"Don't say that! It's not your fault, Hermione. I'll stay here with you, okay? We all will, right guys?"

After that Lily shut the door quietly. This year was going to be so different.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you think in the reviews:)**


	9. Familiar Faces

**AN: I seriously can't believe how much this story is exploding. 84 followers! WOW. I gained more than thirty just after the last chapter. I love and cherish every follow, favorite, and review!**

**I wanted to address a few things that I didn't at the end of the last chapter:**

**I love Lily, and her character will be lovable. I feel like she got a rough introduction.**

**I also think Marlene is a character that has so much potential, and I hate when they make her Hermione's enemy No. 1 in Marauder's era fics.**

**Peter will be an important factor later on I just don't want him to be a main plot point as that feels like unnecessary conflict. But don't worry! Things will be resolved with the Peter! **

**Hermione is a Gryffindor through and through. Noble and bleeding heart, so she doesn't give up on people! Interpret that how you will!**

**I also love the Golden Trio dynamic, so Harry's and Ron's voices in her head are my way of including them in this story. **

**This chapter is going to have some light points. Yay! And sorry I can't update frequently. I just went through midterms at school. YIKES**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Familiar Faces**

Hermione woke up the same way she'd been since that night she'd woken up thinking James was Harry. Squished on a bed with three large boys. It was dark outside still, and when she checked the time she saw that it was only five in the morning. She was directly in the middle with James on one side and Remus on the other.

She really had to use the loo.

Hermione considered her options, and decided James was the deeper sleeper. She sat up as quietly as she could, and carefully stood on the bed. All three were still sleeping, so she carefully lifted a foot and tried stepping over James. Before she could put her foot down he rolled over and collided with the leg she was balancing on, and then her entire weight shifted.

"Oh, Merlin!"

She fell backwards and landed hard on top of Remus's stomach who woke up with a quick, "Oof!"

Then James rolled again and his entire weight was on her shins.

"Ouch, James you oaf! Get off!"

When Sirius flew up it was to the sight of Remus trapped under Hermione who was in turn trapped under a still snoozing James.

Hermione couldn't move.

She grumbled and stretched her neck so that her cheek was resting on Remus's stomach and she could look up at him.

"Will you kick him for me?"

Remus was looking at her with a slightly groggy and mystified look in his eye.

"Oi! Moony is blushing like a little girl!" Sirius was guffawing from the end of the bed which only succeeded in turning Remus into a tomato.

"Be quiet. I'm sleeping." James mumbled.

"Get off, James!" She tried.

"Sorry, can't move."

Hermione whined and closed her eyes. "My feet are falling asleep."

She tried to move them, but they were completely immobile.

"Sorry, Remus," she whispered.

"It's um…" he cleared his throat and continued, "fine! It's fine!"

Sirius started laughing again. This time Hermione blushed.

"Sirius, will _you_ kick him for me?"

"I would love to."

Then suddenly she was freed, and James was crying from the stone floor.

"Oh thank, Merlin!" Hermione used Remus's stomach to push herself up and then jumped over him to get off the bed. She actually ran to the loo that was attached to room.

It was only when she was washing her hands in front of the mirror that she realized she was still wearing her school robes.

She took a second to look at herself.

She'd gained weight this summer that was for sure, but she still looked a few steps away from the grave. She'd gotten some of her olive skin tone back after forced time in the sun, and her hair was now longer than it had ever been. It fell to about halfway down her back and was as wild as always. She was loathe to admit it might be even bigger than usual.

When she finally stepped back into the room the boys were all sleeping again except much more sprawled.

Breakfast didn't start for another hour and a half, and she was so cold she knew she couldn't walk away. She shuffled over to Remus and poked him. He opened one eye.

"Hey. Budge over." He scooted as far as he could and held the large comforter up for her. She immediately scooted in and laid down.

She was facing him and studying his face.

He looked extremely uncomfortable.

"I have something for you." Now he just looked confused.

Over the summer Hermione had found out that Dorea had been rather talented at Potions when she was in school and even had a small potions lab in a room branching off the library. When Hermione had spent the summer at Grimmauld after her first year with Harry, Remus, and Sirius, she'd learned about brewing Wolfsbane.

The full moon was in exactly seven days.

Hermione picked her wand up from the bedside table where James must have put it and silently accioed one of the viles from her trunk. When she held it in between them he didn't move, so she reached out and grabbed his hand and wrapped his fingers around it.

"You have to take one of these every night the week before the full moon or it won't work."

Now he just looked sad.

"How did…"

"I figured it out."

Her hand was still wrapped around his when it started to shake.

She must hate him. He was a monster.

Hermione watched these thoughts cross his face and squeezed his hand.

"I've met Fenrir Greyback. _Personally_. He's a monster. More wolf than man," she was whispering. "You are _not_ a monster, Remus." His eyes teared up and he couldn't look away from her. They were still laying on their sides facing each other under the giant blanket. It was a couple minutes before he said anything.

"What does it do?"

"It'll allow you to keep your mind during the full moon."

He sucked in a breath and this time a couple tears slipped down the side of his scarred cheek.

"Thank you, Hermione." He reached out and pulled her to him, so that he was almost cradling her in his arms.

They stayed like that for almost an hour before Hermione realized that she didn't want the other Gryffindors seeing three boys sneaking out of her room her first day here.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"You guys should probably go, so the other Gryffindors don't get any ideas when they start waking up." He pulled away from her and sat up. The vile was still clutched tightly in his hand.

"Too true."

He gave James and Sirius both a shove and soon they were all out of her room. She sighed and started preparing for what was sure to be a long day.

And boy was she right.

After they got their schedules, and Lily Evans gave her a lecture on how important OWLS were, the boys insisted on walking her to every class like she was some helpless toddler.

Today she had History of Magic, followed by a double block of Potions, lunch, Arithmancy, and then a double block of Defense against the Dark Arts.

Arithmancy she had without the Marauders who had opted to take Divination instead.

She was surprised when at breakfast Marlene squished in between her and Sirius, and began to interrogate her on why she wasn't sleeping in the same dorm as the other fifth year girls.

"Oh, I was a little nervous to be a transfer student, so McGonagall recommended I be in my own dorm this year."

Hermione tried not to flinch when Lily narrowed her eyes from her spot a few seats down. Marlene laughed and said, "If you're an anxious person, perhaps these boys aren't the best company to keep!"

Hermione smiled absently at her and continued to eat her eggs. Marlene spent the entire rest of breakfast attempting to make conversation with Hermione who was instead very focused on her game plan for the semester.

Kill the basilisk, find the diadem, and start befriending Regulus, Snape, and Peter.

She looked up at the boy across the table from her. He was awfully skinny and _very _skittish. Hermione thought he looked more like a mouse than a rat. She also thought he really just needed some reassurance of his position. She wasn't one to let someone fall to the dark, and she believed with all her heart that Peter needed just as much saving as Remus, Sirius, and James.

_But he's a rat!_

Ronald's voice had turned into the devil sitting on her shoulder lately.

_Mione, if my parents knew what happened, they would want you to save him._

And then there was Harry. Optimistic and heroic Harry.

She was going to save Peter, and that was that.

When Peter's eyes darted across the table and looked at her, she gave him a small smile. He looked surprised before he hesitantly smiled back.

A small step.

When it was time to go to class she was almost excited. Sirius, Peter, and James slept through the class, but Remus, Lily and herself took extensive notes.

Going to classes and doing her work was such a welcome reprieve.

When she walked into Potions later, the four Marauders took seats at the back next to each other. Hermione looked around and noticed she could either sit by herself, or sit at a seat next to someone she didn't know with a Slytherin green tie. She was about to sit by herself when the person looked up, and she saw a familiar hooked nose. She took a deep breath and made her way over. Everyone was sitting already and class was about to start, so everyone noticed when she took the seat next to Snape.

"Hullo," she said quietly. He gave her a mildly disgusted look out of the corner of his eye but remained silent.

Lily Evans turned around and startled at the fact that someone was sitting with her friend. She found it even more startling that that person was none other than one of James's crew, Hermione Granger. Lily narrowed her eyes and looked back at the Marauder's who all looked an odd mix of concerned and outraged.

Hermione had never been more thankful for class starting.

It turned out that Snape and her made good potions partners. They worked almost in sync, and by the end of the class they had brewed the most perfect Draught of Peace that Slughorn said he'd ever seen.

"Excellent, as always, Severus! And who might your partner be?"

"Hermione Granger, sir." Hermione smiled up at Slughorn. She'd met him once in the future, but he'd left barely any impression.

"Granger… A muggleborn?"

Hermione forced her smile to remain in place, and said quickly, "Yes. Professor."

"Very well, my girl!"

Then Slughorn went to the front of the classroom and assigned an essay on the properties of Moonstone.

When he dismissed class, Snape turned towards her and nodded once before leaving with a flourish of his dark robes. Hermione was blinking at the place he'd been standing when someone grasped her upper arm and started pulling her out of the room.

"Hey! What are you doing!"

She looked over her shoulder and saw Remus packing up her things. When she turned back around it was to a furious Sirius Black.

"What's your problem?"

Hermione was trying to pull out of his grip, but he wouldn't let go. James was standing next to him with his arms crossed across his chest. Remus was shuffling awkwardly on his other side with all her stuff in tow.

"What's _my _problem?" Sirius scoffed and narrowed his eyes. "What's yours, Hermione? Cozying up to Snivellus like that!" Hermione frowned. They'd been good partners, yes, but there most certainly wasn't any cozying. She feigned ignorance.

"Snivellus?"

Remus scratched at the back of his neck and said, "He's talking about, Snape."

Hermione widened her eyes comically, "Well, that's just rude, Sirius."

Sirius looked completely taken back for a moment, and that's when Lily Evans walked out of the Potions classroom and wrapped her hand around Hermione's unoccupied arm.

"I quite agree, Hermione." Lily said and glared _violently_ at Sirius.

"He's a Slytherin and probably a Death Eater," Sirius hissed.

Hermione knew that the second part wasn't true. Not yet at least. She was almost positive that came some time after his fifth year.

"Sirius, I wouldn't make baseless accusations like that. Plus, Dorea was a Slytherin!" Said Hermione in response. She pulled her arm from his grip and looked towards the girl holding onto her elbow. "Now, I'm starved. Lily?"

Lily for the first time since they met, gave Hermione a bright smile.

"Yes, shall we?"

"We shall!"

Then they both spun on their heels and began the trek up to the Great Hall.

"Oh, Merlin! We're doomed if those two are in league!" James groaned from behind them.

It wasn't until after they were out of earshot that Lily looked nervously at Hermione.

"Severus… he's just misunderstood." Hermione gave Lily a knowing look out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes, I imagine that's true." Lily relaxed a little before an extremely upset look grew on her face.

"Those four bully him mercilessly."

Hermione frowned when she said, "I imagine that is also quite true."

Hermione remembered a story about Snape betraying Lily's trust by calling her a Mudblood later in the year. She hoped that was something she could change. She knew if there was one person she would need aid from in saving Snape it was Lily Evans.

Hermione squeezed Lily's elbow tighter and said, "Those morons are pretty susceptible to misunderstandings, but they are also pretty susceptible to compassion, surprisingly." Lily looked doubtful so Hermione added, "Don't worry, Lily. I will change their minds."

If possible, Lily looked even more doubtful.

Hermione smirked, "I can be pretty convincing."

* * *

Despite being mildly miffed, James still fulfilled his promise of walking Hermione to every class, and stalked like a silent pillar to her right the entire walk to Arithmancy before disappearing to make off to Divination.

Lily looked quite disturbed by the lack of love proclamations.

In Arithmancy, Hermione sat next to Lily, and they both took detailed notes. Hermione was mildly surprised to see Peter waiting outside the door for her for the walk to DADA.

Hermione was even more surprised when Lily and him had an excited conversation about their summers.

"Hermione, did you do anything fun over the summer?"

For some reason this was the one question that Hermione hadn't prepared an answer for.

She hesitated before saying, "It was pretty quiet actually. Did some reading."

Peter frowned. Lily looked at her sceptically. She seriously doubted that Hermione had _ever_ had a quiet summer, but she wasn't about to question her. She'd been nice to Severus, afterall.

"Well… that can be nice too!"

Lily then gave Hermione a speech about how the DADA position was cursed and they had a new professor every year since they'd started.

The new professor introduced herself as Jean Marchbanks. She was a middle-aged woman who stated that she had been an auror before this position opened up.

"Today will be a practical lesson. Everyone stand up!"

With a wave of her wand all the desks flew to the edges of the room and they were being paired off with someone of the opposite house. The Gryffindors had this class with the Hufflepuffs. Hermione got paired with a very tall, very angry-looking guy by the name of Wilfred Clearwater.

He looked to be an entire foot taller than her, built like a brick wall, and did _not _go easy on her. She ignored the concerned glances of the boys and held her wand at ready.

Hermione started by quietly deflecting his spells, but then he got frustrated and started sending even stronger stunners her way. Hermione wasn't being strained in the slightest once her instincts took over and her defensive spells became silent. Professor Marchbanks yelled and told her to throw one back, and before she knew it Wilfred Clearwater was flying back into the wall behind them and sliding to the ground.

Hermione looked wide eyed at his prone form.

She hadn't wanted anyone to know about her training, and she definitely hadn't planned on harming another student. Hermione stood frozen as Professor Marchbanks walked over and assessed the passed out student.

To say Hermione was shocked when she jumped up and smiled proudly at her was an extreme understatement.

"That was very good, Miss Granger! And nonverbal too. Impressive! Twenty points to Gryffindor."

A few Gryffindors in the room whooped loudly, and Hermione finally unfroze. Marlene McKinnon threw her arms around Hermione's neck and gave her a fat smooch on the top of her head.

"My favorite swot!"

Hermione scowled and shoved her off.

"I am _not _a swot."

* * *

That night after dinner she told the boys she had to run to the library and waited for them to leave after walking her before promptly exiting the library and going towards Ravenclaw Tower. She had a couple more hours before curfew which wasn't exactly a problem. She had one hour, _tops_, before the Marauder's would inevitably make the decision that she needed rescuing and would come searching for their damsel.

Hermione snorted and walked a little faster.

Hermione tried desperately to remember the last conversation she'd had about the diadem.

It had been with Luna Lovegood in the Malfoy Manor dungeons. They had shared a cell for three days before Luna was dragged out by her hair, and Hermione never saw her again. She shook herself.

_The Grey Lady. You need to speak with the Grey Lady. Rowena Ravenclaw had a Diadem. _

Hermione sighed when Luna's airy voice floated through her mind.

Ron and Harry she could manage, but Luna's all-knowing comments were not something she thought she could handle.

"Right. Focus, Hermione," she said to herself.

She kept walking until she got to the corridor that some Ravenclaw she'd talked to in passing had told her that she often saw the Grey Lady floating through.

Hermione saw a translucent being floating near a moonlit window at the end of the hall. So easy. She smiled and picked up the pace, but she stopped when she saw that the ghost wasn't alone. Sitting on the window sill was someone who looked very nearly _identical _to Luna.

Suddenly Luna's cries as she was dragged from their shared cell were echoing through her mind.

"Luna?"

The girl looked up and smiled dreamily at Hermione.

"No, but I quite like that name."

_Not Luna, Mione. Use your head. _

This had to be Luna's mother. Hermione remembered Luna told her her name.

"Pandora."

The girl's smile widened, and she beckoned Hermione closer. The Grey Lady was floating away, and Hermione resigned herself to talking to her later. Perhaps an after curfew trip would be more effective. Hermione stepped closer until she was standing next to the still seated spitting image of Luna.

"You're Hermione Granger."

Hermione startled before remembering that Dumbledore had introduced her in front of all the students.

"Oh, yes that's correct."

Pandora held her hand out and said, "Pleasure!" Hermione hesitated before taking her hand. Pandora cocked her head to the side. "I make you nervous?"

She shook her head and tried to smile, "No, sorry. You just remind me of someone." Pandora seemed to find that comment especially amusing.

"I believe that is the first time someone has ever said that to me, Hermione Granger."

Hermione grimaced. She seemed slightly more grounded than Luna had been. No radish earrings. No endless stream of whimsical babble.

She had long wavy silvery blonde hair that had a few braids in it with colorful strings woven through them. She had the same big dreamy eyes though. Same delicate features. She was pretty in a woodland nymph type of way.

"I think, perhaps, we will be great friends," said Pandora pleasantly.

Hermione tried not to be surprised by this proclamation, but after the next one, she couldn't contain it.

"You're on a mission after all. And I believe you'll need me."

* * *

**AN: omg pandora is so much fun to write. **

**I think Sirius and Hermione are both very passionate characters. I think it's unrealistic in fics to have them agreeing all the time. I imagine they'd be quite the fiery couple!**

**I also believe Hermione and Remus would have a very tender friendship full of soft moments. So adorable. **

**Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter in the reviews:)**

**I also take requests for stories, so keep that in mind!**


	10. Animagi

**AN: I've always subscribed to the idea that the Lovegood women are seers. Not necessarily super powerful ones, but they just **_**know**_ **things ya know? SO of course I had to make Pandora like this.**

**I find the Order meetings a bit difficult to write, but they are definitely necessary. At least it is sandwiched in between two Marauder interactions.**

**ALSO: before anyone can point it out, I realize that I am changing some of who the original members of the Order are, but I have my reasons. So don't feel the need to point it out to me. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**

**Chapter Ten: Animagi**

* * *

The boys were being secretive.

At first she assumed it was because they were still mad at her for continuing to sit by Snape in Potions, but when she asked them about that Remus had slammed a hand on Sirius's shoulder and said, "Nope. We've working through that. Right, Sirius?"

Sirius had glanced up from his plate to look at Hermione through his eyelashes.

"Yeah… right."

She didn't bring it up after that, but everytime she came into the common room they were sitting in a corner whispering like mad.

She was going completely barmy. At one point she snuck up on them to try and hear what they were saying, but Remus had shushed them. They'd all given her fake innocent looks.

It took four days for her to break.

She cornered James first. It was a rare moment where he was alone in the common room, so before he could even think about moving she had him backed in a corner and was giving him her most menacing look.

She had her wand pointed at his throat.

"Tell me what you lot are planning!"

James was surprisingly steadfast. He just smirked at her and said, "You know I think this would be a lot more effective if you weren't so damn small."

He regretted that as soon she hit him with Ginny Weasley's bat bogey hex.

Word spread among the Marauders after that, that Hermione was hunting for information, and that she was _ruthless. _

She tried Peter next which honestly knowing the information she knew, wasn't really fair.

Yet again, she was surprised when the skittish boy got out of it by saying he liked the freckles on her nose and leaving her frozen in shock Long enough for him to run away.

The boys got really careful after that. They were careful never to get caught one on one with her, so she was pleasantly surprised when she saw Sirius sitting alone outside. She walked right up to where he was laying down on his back and plopped down on his stomach so he couldn't move.

"Tell me what you've been whispering about, or I won't move!" She was sitting sideways on him and had her arms crossed.

"This would work except you still weigh about one-hundred pounds and it's rather like having a kitten sitting on my chest. Fitting don't you think?" He was smirking and had his hands resting under his head. "Actually, I'm pretty comfortable I could do this all day."

Hermione smacked him on the head.

"I'm being serious, you dolt!" She yelled.

He grinned rather goofily up at her and said, "No, I'm Sirius." This earned him another smack.

She looked around and realized that the few people that were outside were all staring at them. When she glared at them they looked away like scolded children. Then fast as a panther she had her forearm pressed to his throat.

"I don't like secrets, Sirius Black," she whispered. "I'll figure out yours if it kills me."

Sirius's eyes widened comically before he said, "I didn't know you liked it rough, kitten."

Then she smacked him again and stood up with a growl. This time she hit him with a rather forceful stinging hex that had him yelping like a little girl.

When Remus came in for his second to last dose of Wolfsbane that night she held it behind her back before he could grab it.

She blinked up at him with a mock pout in place.

He immediately backed up looking more terrified than even Peter had.

"Okay, that's not fair. I know what you want," he said.

"But Remus!" She resisted the urge to stomp her feet and turned the pout up about ten notches.

He grimaced and tried to turn away, but she just jumped so that she was standing in front of him. She considered fake tears. He gave her a look and seemed to melting a little bit. She almost had him.

"Remus, please."

"I can't tell you, Mione! They'll kill me!"

The fake pout turned into a real one.

"You called me, Mione."

"Shit," said Remus. He slammed his hand on his forehead.

Then the fake tears turned into real tears.

"I asked you not to call me that," she whispered. She reached out and handed him the Wolfsbane. "Okay. You're free."

She turned around once he took it and crawled into her bed. There was silence for a few seconds as she sniffled.

He sat down with his back to her on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry."

She sniffed and said, "It's not your fault."

He laid down on his back, so he was staring up at the ceiling.

"I'll tell you," he said. He sighed and looked over at her, "Sirius, James, and Peter became Animagi. They're coming with me on the full moon tomorrow."

Hermione felt stupid now. Of course, that's what it was. She knew that happened beginning of fifth year and this week she'd threatened, hexed, and manipulated so they would tell her their big secret.

"They didn't want to tell you because they knew you'd want to be one too."

Hermione smiled softly at him, and wiped her eyes.

"I feel stupid now," she whispered. Remus grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry I called you Mione."

"That makes me feel even more stupid. It's just a name." She laughed but it was a little choked up. "Well I can't promise that I won't become an Animagi."

Remus smiled at her, "I didn't really think we could stop you. That's why I insisted they don't tell you."

Hermione snorted, "I found out you were a werewolf. You think I wouldn't notice if none of you showed up tomorrow night?"

"Well we were talking about one person staying behind."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll be okay."

One night of restless sleep a month would be okay if it meant Remus had some comfort every full moon. She squeezed his hand back and then popped up.

"Come on, let's go tell the boys I won."

She had to leave for another Order meeting soon anyway.

Remus groaned but quickly followed her out the door. He'd downed the Wolfsbane and left the empty vile on her bedroom table.

When they came into the common room Sirius, Peter, and James were staring at them with questioning eyes.

"You broke, didn't you, Moony?"

Sirius's eyes darted from Hermione to Remus. They both looked rumpled and Hermione had her puffy post-cry face.

"Did you cry to get him to tell you? That's dirty, kitten!"

Hermione frowned and took the seat next to him on the couch.

"No, um, the crying was actually my fault," said Remus reluctantly.

Suddenly all the boys were staring him down. He looked extremely guilty.

She decided to save him and smiled brightly, "It worked though! I hear I have three more furry friends than I did last week." The boys' glares intensified.

"She was crying! I had to make her stop somehow." Remus yelled. Hermione glared at him.

"Yeah and who's fault is that!" Hermione huffed and sunk into the back of the couch. "And a hug works just fine for future reference."

"Good to know."

"You didn't tell her the other…" Whatever Peter was saying was cut off when James quite literally jumped over the table and tackled Peter to the ground.

"Oh my…" Hermione stared shocked as James wrestled Peter to the ground and whispered something in his ear that had him growing pale rapidly.

"Subtle, James." Sirius was shaking his head next to her on the couch.

Hermione threw her hands up and stood.

"I'm not asking this time. Anyway, I have a meeting with Dumbledore, so I'll see you lot later."

They all looked up at her suspiciously, but she ran out of the room before they could ask any questions.

James finally let go of Peter and stood up, "Should we be worried about that?"

"For someone who says she doesn't like secrets, she has an awful lot of them," said Sirius. He looked genuinely upset by this.

"I'm not sure I want to know her secrets," Peter squeaked from the ground.

* * *

Hermione made it to Dumbledore's floo with a few minutes to spare and quickly called out her destination without even looking at him after casting a few face refreshing charms to hide her tears. When she walked into the order meeting nearly everyone was already there.

"Oh! Excellent." Her surprised exclamation got everyone's attention and a few smiled at her pleasantly.

She only smiled back when she walked to the end of the table and saw Charlus and Dorea. They both jumped up to hug her and she ran into their arms.

"I'm so glad to see you!" When she pulled away she gave Dorea a conspiring look and said, "I'll have you know… the sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin."

Dorea snickered and said, "I would've been proud no matter what."

It was weird, Hermione decided, to have mother and father figures that were magical.

"James about had a heart attack when I told him that," she said fondly.

Then she remembered that she had a meeting to conduct and started heading towards her chair. She pulled her wand from her bun and started unshrinking her notebooks and texts that she had stored in her robes pockets. Once she had all of it out she took the robe off so that she was in her regulation button down and skirt. She glanced up and looked around for Dumbledore. She waited until he stepped through the floo to begin the meeting.

"Miss Granger what is the premise of this meeting?" Professor McGonagall asked from her seat next to Dumbledore.

"Right, so we need to discuss killing a Basilisk and beginning the hunt for the Horcruxes."

Moody grumbled, "Right to the point, you are."

"I don't see the point in pleasantries. The only way I know of to destroy a Horcrux is with Basilisk venom. In my second year the Chamber of Secrets was opened and Harry ended up killing the Basilisk with the Sword of Gryffindor which imbibed the venom."

"So what you're saying is that we need to kill this Basilisk?" Asked one of the Prewett twins.

"Yes, precisely."

After much discussion it was decided that a team would be sent down to the chamber to take care of the serpent over Christmas break when most of the students had left. Nearly everyone in the room volunteered, but Hermione had insisted that a small team would be better.

Amongst the team would be Hermione (since she knew the parseltongue to open it), Dumbledore, Moody, and Benjy Fenwick.

"Excellent. Next order of business. I have been trying to lay out a concrete timeline of when and where the Horcruxes were placed." She pulled that out now. "I have reason to believe the Diadem is somewhere in Hogwarts. I have someone helping me with that search." She ignored the curious glances and continued, "In my time Lucius Malfoy was in possession of the Diary before it was passed off to…" She trailed off when she remembered that Molly and Arthur were in the room, "Right, not important. My point is, that I believe the diary is at Malfoy Manor. Since Lucius is still in school I am guessing Abraxas has it." I few people grumbled. "Nagini is Voldemort's familiar, so that one will have to wait until the final battle. The locket gets placed in a cave in a year. He uses the Black family elf, Kreacher, to place it."

"How do you plan on figuring that one out then?"

It was the first time someone had interrupted her and to say she was shocked when she looked up to see someone that looked suspiciously like Bellatrix Lestrange shocked her. She couldn't look away. Same hair. Same eyes. Hermione had been Bellatrix's favorite plaything when she was bored. Hermione got caught for a moment. There was no doubt that the woman in front of her was a Black. Hermione didn't know how long she was stuck focusing on the woman's hair and eyes before she cleared her throat and Hermione shook herself.

Everyone was giving her odd looks.

"I'm sorry. You remind me of…" Hermione grimaced and a rather sour look took over her expression, "_her."_

The woman understood. "My sister." Hermione's eyes snapped up. This must be Andromeda Tonks then. Of course. She wondered how she'd escaped her attention at the other meetings.

"Yes."

"You've met her?"

Hermione looked pained when she said, "You could say that." She looked upset.

"She's… disturbed."

"I'm well aware," Hermione said quietly. Her hand went to her arm and everyone knew what she was instinctively covering.

"I apologize on her behalf."

Hermione nodded at her, dropped her hand, and said, "That's appreciated, but completely unnecessary. I am of the belief that one should not be held responsible for the sins of their family."

A few people in the crowd mumbled their agreeance while others were frowning.

Hermione cleared her throat and stood up straight, "Which perfectly segways into my plan for the Locket. I'm going to save Regulus Black."

She stated this bluntly and a few people in the room began to protest.

"That boy is on the fast track to becoming a Death Eater," yelled Moody.

She looked at him carefully. "_That boy, _is under pressure from his cow of a mother and being forced into a position in a war that he doesn't agree with. He is _fourteen_! He shouldn't have to make that decision, and I have knowledge of the fact that he wants a way out."

She said this forcefully and glared at anyone who still looked ready to argue.

"He is a _child_, and I am going to save him!"

She slammed her parchment back on the table and crossed her arms.

"He will help me retrieve the locket. Of this, I am positive." Andromeda was smiling at her sadly.

"I hope what you say is true, Miss Granger."

"It _is," _she said bluntly.

No one else argued after that.

"Now, after that is the Gaunt Ring."

At this she turned and narrowed her eyes at Dumbledore.

"I need your assistance with this one, Albus."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled when he said, "I imagine so. Good thing I have already begun to gather information."

Hermione tried to ignore the bitterness and forced out a quick, "Good." She continued, "Hufflepuff's cup is the one I have no idea on where it might be. We were figuring that out when I got snatched. We had our suspicions. I believe once I have talked to Regulus he will be able to confirm."

_The Lestrange vault._

"I want to be sure," she mumbled.

Dorea was giving her a calculating look.

"You have placed a lot of faith in this boy," said Moody.

"I trust him."

Hermione didn't offer up anymore information and no one else pushed. She began to pack up her stuff.

Once she had everything shrunk, she looked up and said quietly, "The attacks are about to increase. People are about to start disappearing. My suggestion is to place wards on family's of Muggleborns and known Muggle-sympathizers. In my time, Voldemort controlled the ministry. Don't trust anyone that isn't in this room. Don't leave home alone. Don't speak openly in public about Voldemort. Play it safe." Some people looked fearful, but she had no words to reassure them.

"Do you know of anyone in this room who needs to be especially careful?"

It was Molly. She was holding her stomach with one hand and gripping Arthur with the other. Hermione had thought about this. Would it be better to warn them?

_Yes. It would be._

She resized one of her notebooks and flipped to a certain page.

"This might be hard to hear, and for this I apologize." She scanned the page quickly and looked up. "Fabian and Gideon. In a couple years, you will go under orders to a Death Eater raide in Hogsmeade where you will be ambushed by six Death Eaters." No one had to ask whether they made it or not. Hermione's face said it all. "In my seventh year, the Bones family will be murdered in their home. That same year Benjy Fenwick will disappear and never be seen again. The McKinnon's will also be targets. Charlus and Dorea will both die the year after that. Then Dorcas Meadowes and Caradoc Dearborn. Then in 1981, The Longbottoms and Potters will become the primary targets."

Then Hermione looked up and some people were crying. Others looked determined. She frowned.

"I'm doing what I can."

"Of course, dear. You aren't responsible for all these lives."

Hermione wanted to believe Dorea. She frowned and shook her head.

"Yes I am. I'll do everything I can."

Hermione tried to imagine losing anyone that she'd met in just the short few months since she got there. She couldn't.

"Now, I have studying to do. It's OWLs year after all." Hermione tried to smile, but it fell almost immediately. She hated these things.

Some words were exchanged with a few members before she shuffled out of the floo in Dumbledore's office and scrambled out. It was definitely past curfew. The corridors were dark and spooky. She was almost back when she turned a corner and bodily ran into someone. She as an automatic reaction reached out and grabbed onto the elbows of whoever she'd hit.

"Oh sorry." She breathed out. The person yanked their arms out of her hands.

"What are you doing out right now? It's past curfew!"

She looked up and startled. This person, without a doubt, was Regulus Black. He looked nearly identical to Sirius if it weren't for his slightly pointier features. He was also lankier. Sickly, almost. What is with her and Blacks lately?

"I could ask you the same thing." She tilted her head to the side. He looked surprised that she'd responded at all.

"That's none of your business!"

Hermione smiled, "Well, then I'm not telling you why I'm out either."

Regulus sneered at her and looked her up and down, "Oh, I know who you are. You're my traitor brother's new pet."

Hermione scowled, "Not a pet."

"That's what they all say before he drops them."

Hermione decided then that she didn't really like Regulus.

"We're friends," she said strongly.

"Right." He narrowed his eyes. "Now as riveting as the conversation is I really must be going." He shoved past her and continued down the corridor.

Hermione scrambled for a second before she ended up just shouting, "I can get you out!"

He paused with his back to her. When he turned back around he looked decidedly more dangerous than he'd looked before.

"What makes you think I want out?"

Hermione smiled sadly and said, "You know where to find me when you're ready to admit it."

She turned around quietly at the shocked expression on his face. She'd leave him to think about it.

When she finally made it back to Gryffindor tower it was to the four boys sitting in silence in the same spot she'd left them.

"What are you guys doing?"

At her voice they all swung around to look at her and James launched himself over the back of the couch and barreled straight into her.

"We were worried about you! You were gone for almost three hours!" He was giving her a bone crushing hug which had her squished with her arms sticking out at odd angles.

"Can't breathe, Jamie!"

He pulled away and smiled down at her happily.

"You called me Jamie," he exclaimed.

Hermione frowned at him and looked at the other boys who all just shrugged.

"You guys didn't have to wait up. We were having tea, and lost track of time."

Harry had always told her she was a bad liar, so she went with something simple. Sirius and Remus looked suspicious, but James and Peter seemed to accept this answer.

"Don't do that again, Hermione."

James sounded more serious than she ever remembered him being. If she remembered correctly, this was the year they'd make the map. That was going to be an inconvenience.

"Okay," she said finally.

"Promise?" She pursed her lips.

"You know, I can take care of myself just fine."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay."

* * *

**AN: Leave a review if you feel like it;)**

**I am overwhelmed by the response I have gotten so far. Never imagined anything I wrote would ever get over 100 followers. So thank you most sincerely! **


	11. Clio

**AN: Thank you guys for reading! WOW I can't believe I have hit 138 followers! That's crazy! **

**Thank you so much for your support! Every time I see a review or follow I get even more excited to continue writing. I am overwhelmed with the response. **

**I would like to address a review I got from a guest reader!**

"_**So Hermione being a part of the Order is a secret from the Marauders, but they have the Marauder's Map that can see Dumbledore's office...so I think they probably have a pretty good idea what's going on. I mean, Dumbledore, Mad eye Moody, James' parents, Andromeda Tonks, etc.. The Marauders aren't stupid! They obviously know that group of people isn't sitting around knitting or sharing casserole recipes!"**_

**Well, it states very clearly that Hermione just went through Dumbledore's office to use the floo and go **

**to the Order meeting at a seperate location. It also says that Hermione wasn't sure they had the map yet. If my implication wasn't clear, that meant that they have yet to make it. There also have been several mentions in conversations with just the Marauders that they are suspicious of where she has been disappearing off to. I don't know if you just missed all of this, but it was all there. They aren't stupid, I agree. Which is why I have made sure to show conversation where they talk about Hermione having secrets. Even if they had the map, the most they would've known was that Hermione left Hogwarts grounds via floo. **

**Sorry if my response sounded rude, but I believe you just missed stuff while reading. **

**I expect fifth year will move a lot slower than the next two years at Hogwarts. I think this story will go on past graduation and through a few years after that. This might be a way longer fic than I initially anticipated! Maybe around 100 chapters. I am outlined up to forty for now and that's only through fifth and sixth year. WOW.**

**ALSO sorry for the long Author's Note! And the five day absence. I am in classes and working all week, so it looks like two chapters a weekend is about my schedule until school gets out June 1st. Look forward to this summer because I am sure I will be updating every couple of days then!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Clio**

A couple weeks had passed since the meeting, and Hermione was yet to be able to have a conversation with Pandora about talking to the Grey Lady. The girl was aloof and had a tendency to disappear right when Hermione spotted her.

This was precisely why she was so pleasantly surprised when she was making the trek to the library one day and was stopped by a willowy figure blocking her path. Luna had been rather tiny, but her mother had a couple inches on Hermione.

Pandora had half her silvery hair piled on top of her head and had feathers braided into a few loose strands. Hermione grinned.

She opened her mouth to ask about talking to the ghost tonight when Pandora tilted her head and said, "Tonight, isn't the best night I believe."

Hermione frowned and narrowed her eyes. "Are you a legilimens?" Pandora smiled at her mischievously. Hermione needed to remember to do her Occlumency exercises.

"No, I don't think I'd like being in people's minds."

Hermione threw her hands up.

"How do you know what I am thinking then!" Luna had been the same way, and it had always unsettled her.

"The women of my family are quite talented at Divinations. Did you know that?" Hermione thought about Luna. She was sure if Luna ever had the chance she would've been one of Trelawney's favorites.

"I don't believe in Divinations."  
Pandora just continued to smile at her.

"Perhaps you should, Hermione Granger."

Hermione didn't like the sound of that. She moved on and asked, "Well, why exactly won't tonight work?"

Pandora winked when she simply said, "Happy Birthday."

Hermione paled drastically. She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but that wasn't it.

"Tomorrow is fine though. Don't worry about setting a time. I shall find you" Then she turned and began to walk away.

"So creepy," Hermione mumbled under her breath before she continued her walk to the library where she was meeting Remus and Lily to work on a paper.

_I hadn't realized I creeped you out so much, Hermione Granger._

Hermione rolled her eyes at Luna's dreamy voice.

When she entered the library, she went to their usual table and plopped down next to Remus.

He smiled at her then continued the conversation he'd been having with Lily.

Hermione hadn't even realized it was her birthday. This was not how she'd planned on her day going.

"What's the date, Remus?"

Remus startled and looked down at her. She was chewing on the end of her quill and looking up at him with a confused expression. The last time she'd asked that she had been feverish and banging her head against the wall of the Potter's dining room. The fact that she was asking now, honestly scared Remus.

"It's the 19th of September." When her frown deepened he added, "1975."

Lily snorted from across the table and said, "I think she knows it's 1975, Remus."

Hermione looked distraught. Her last birthday she'd been starving in a tent in the middle of the Forest of Dean with two boys. It was a few weeks before she'd been snatched.

The year before that she'd spent the day time traveling to get to classes before collapsing into bed without a single birthday wish. The year before that Harry and Ron had forgotten. The year before that she'd had no friends.

Birthdays weren't something she'd found enjoyable or necessary since probably the year she'd turned four or so.

When Remus or Hermione hadn't responded to Lily's quip about the year Lily had taken notice. _Did_ Hermione know it was 1975?

Clearly this mystery was going to be much more difficult to solve than Remus being a werewolf.

Lily watched as Remus carefully reached out and gripped Hermione's shoulder.

"Hermione, is everything alright?" He looked nervous.

A million things were running through her mind.

Hermione jumped and yanked away. She stood and tossed everything back in her bag.

"Actually, I am not feeling that well, I think I might go." Then she spun and actually ran out of the library with Madam Pince frowning at her disturbance.

"Remus, maybe you and the boys should call off the plans for tonight."

Remus frowned.

"James was so excited when Dorea told him about Hermione's birthday though. He even got the elves to make a cake." Remus was still watching the doors where Hermione had disappeared. "It's strawberry. Her favorite. Should I go after her?"

Lily tilted her head. "I don't think she'd want to be followed."

Remus looked back down at the parchment in front of him. "She's not very good at asking for help when she needs it." That comment caught her attention again.

Lily was trying so hard to not be nosy and ask Remus about Hermione. Her parents had always told her she was too curious for her own good. After a couple minutes of silent contemplation she decided to just do it. What was the harm in just asking? If anyone would know anything it'd be Remus. Hermione seemed to be closest to him out of everyone.

"Remus…" He looked up at her sharply like he knew what she was going to say. Lily shrunk back a bit, but then her Gryffindor bravery kicked in and she squared her shoulders. "On that first night I was trying to apologize to Hermione about what happened on the train, and I grabbed her wrist. Hermione's sleeves rode up, and well…" Lily looked distraught. She glanced around quickly, leaned forward, and whispered, "She has these scars on her wrists? They're white criss crosses, like the skin there had been… torn off almost?" Remus gave her one of the saddest looks she'd ever seen from him, and that's when Lily's eyes begin to fill with tears.

"That's not my story to tell, Lily."

Lily wiped her eyes angrily and frowned at the table. Remus wouldn't have reacted like that if she'd been wrong.

"Something very bad has happened to her, Remus. I just know it." Lily sniffed and looked up at her very serious frown. "And I'm going to help her."

Lily was using her determined and motherly voice. Remus smiled fondly. She used that voice with him all the time.

"I think she could use a friend like you."

* * *

Hermione had been suspicious at Pandora's comment, and then she'd sat down with Remus and thought about how the boy's had been acting lately.

James had tackled Peter that one night, and all the boys had been especially jumpy the past couple of days. Remus and Lily had both traded their Prefect's rounds for that night.

They were planning something. Hermione knew it.

How had they even known?

Then the answer came to her in the form of Harry's disembodied voice.

_My Grandmother. Dorea._

Hermione finally made it outside and groaned.

Of course! Dorea had asked her sometime over the summer when her birthday was during one of their conversations, and Hermione had responded absentmindedly. Now Hermione had a mission.

She was going to hide.

Hermione huffed and started stomping towards the lake. The sun was going down, and it was rather chilly, but she could cast warming charms. She remembered a particularly large rock she could position herself behind where they would never find her. She could finish her paper, but she'd probably have to skip dinner. Perhaps she could go to the kitchens and nab something later.

_Mione, come on! Bask in the glory! Plus there will probably be cake!_

"Shut up, Ronald!"

She hadn't realized she'd spoken out loud, but suddenly someone was grabbing her arm to stop her speedy get away.

Hermione jumped and tried to pull away. The grip was tight and her mind was so frazzled already that she began jumping to conclusions.

"No! Let me go!"

The grip on her bicep loosened and suddenly a very apologetic Sirius was standing right in front of her.

"Hermione! It's just me!"

Hermione put one hand on her chest to try to calm her erratic heartbeat. Sirius was frowning at her. She almost growled when she realized she'd been caught so soon. He'd seen her outside which meant that that would probably be the first place they'd look if she got away from him. _Bollocks._

"Your friend from before was named Ronald, right?"

Hermione startled and just stared at him. What did that have to do with anything?

"You just told him to shut up, Hermione."

Her eyes grew even wider. He was calling her Hermione and not kitten which always meant he was upset with her for some reason. She grew nervous and shrunk into the large jumper she'd changed into earlier. Even though Dorea had bought her so many new clothes, Hermione gravitated towards James's old clothes.

_Focus, Mione_.

She shrunk even further.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled.

Hermione didn't want him to find out about the voices. If he found out he'd think she was crazy, and she _wasn't _crazy. She just had a little trouble keeping a firm grip on her sanity sometimes.

_That's exactly what a crazy person would say, Mione._

"Shut up!" Hermione clutched her head with her hands.

_Now that's just rude. What would my mother say?_

"Ugh! Just be quiet for two seconds!"

Suddenly, hands were on her wrists and were pulling her hands gently away from her face.

Hermione tried to pull away and looked around feverishly. It seemed like there wasn't even anyone else outside. It must be dinner time.

She was looking anywhere but at the boy in front of her when he put both his hands on her cheeks and turned her to face him.

Hermione was looking determinately at the light stubble on his chin. Stubble? At fifteen? Only Sirius Black would have stubble at fifteen.

"How often do you hear his voice?"

_He definitely thinks you're crazy._

Hermione flinched. Sirius noticed. She sighed and said so quietly that Sirius almost couldn't hear her, "I'm _not _crazy."

Hermione continued to stare at his chin and tried hard not to cry. She must look even more batty than she sounded with how much she was blinking. He was going to tell James, Remus, and Peter, and then they would all know. She'd been doing so good. No episodes since she passed out in Lily Evan's arms.

"I never said you were crazy, kitten," he said softly.

Hermione looked up into his eyes. She tried to look for any indication that he was lying or that he was scared of her, but all she saw was concern.

"It's only sometimes, Sirius."

_Liar. _

Hermione flinched again and Sirius took note.

"What did he say just now?"

Hermione hesitated. Her eyes welled up. "He called me a liar."

Sirius sucked in a breath and carefully wiped at her cheeks with the pads of his thumb. "Is it just Ron?" He whispered.

_Tell him about all of us._

Hermione shook her head. Sirius looked so sad she closed her eyes.

"What did Ron say just now?"

Hermione shook her head again and her voice cracked when she said, "It wasn't Ron this time."

Sirius's eyes widened, but then he was letting go of her face and pulling her into a gentle hug.

"What kinds of things do they say?"

Hermione gripped the back of his shirt like she had a tendency to do when her mind floated away. He held on to her more tightly, and she'd never been more grateful.

"Ron and Harry, they say good things. They help me... focus." Hermione sighed. "There are other voices though." Sirius was almost scared to ask this next question, but she was talking and she hadn't really talked to them about things in a couple weeks.

"And they don't say good things?"

Hermione pushed her face against his chest and shook her head slightly.

"I hear _his _voice sometimes," she was still whispering, but Sirius knew who _he _was. He frowned.

"Maybe you should…"

"I don't want to tell anyone." Hermione pulled away and used her sleeve to wipe her face. "I didn't even want to tell you."

_Maybe you should talk to someone about it._

Hermione let out a choked laugh and covered her eyes with her hand.

"Maybe I am crazy!"

Sirius sounded angry when he said, "I _know _crazy, Hermione, and you're not it!" Hermione flinched back. His family.

"Bellatrix." Sirius's eyes widened.

"Yes, how did you…"

Hermione cursed silently. She talked too much. She _always_ talked too much.

_We're going to have fun, just me and you, today, Mudblood!_

Hermione hand moved to cover her mouth and she squeezed her eyes as tightly shut as she could.

Sirius sounded almost severe when he said, "You've met her haven't you?"

Hermione on instinct covered her forearm, and his sharp eyes zeroed in on it. He could feel his heart beat in his entire body. The worst part was that it made sense.

"No…" He was shaking his head so hard, and he felt like he was going to be sick.

Hermione finally gave into sobbing. He wasn't supposed to know. How had she been so stupid!

_Stupid, girl!_

"Stop it please!" She yelled through sobs. It was too much.

Sirius took a step back from her, and pushed his hand through his hair.

"Please tell me she didn't. _Please._"

Hermione dropped to the grass and pulled her knees to her chest.

"I hear her voice too," she gasped out.

That was all Sirius needed as confirmation.

He'd always imagined the people who did that to her as faceless Death Eaters, but they weren't faceless anymore, they were family.

When Sirius dropped to his knees in front of her, Hermione crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his middle.

"It's not your fault. You aren't responsible for the sins of your family."

Sirius dropped further and gripped her so tightly she almost couldn't breathe. "How can you even stand to look at me?"

He sounded tortured.

"You're a good person, Sirius Black."

She hadn't thought of the implications of saying his last name until he stopped breathing. She held her breath until he dropped his cheek to the top of her head.

"You have to tell me now. When they're talking to you, you have to tell me."

Hermione sighed.

"Okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

There were a couple more minutes of silence before he pulled her closer for one more second.

"Come on, kitten. Let's go feed you."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and pulled her up to stand with him. When James did it, it felt like brotherly affection. When Sirius did it, it felt like a promise.

_You're in so much trouble, Mione. _

Okay, he didn't have to know about that one.

* * *

Hermione had forgotten the face freshening charms before walking into the Great Hall, so when she stepped into the Great Hall with a firm grip on Sirius's elbow and a puffy face everyone stared.

"Shit," Hermione mumbled.

Sirius looked down at her and patted her cheek affectionately. "Don't worry. You look cute after you cry."

"I most certainly do not!" She wacked his arm with her free hand and picked up the pace to her seat.

She knew for a fact that she didn't look cute after she cried. Her eyes would be bloodshot, nose and cheeks flushed red, and she'd have big puffy bags under her eyes.

When she sat down Remus and Lily shared a look which she did her best to ignore.

She piled a bunch of food on her plate and refused to make eye contact with anyone at the table.

Peter, who was sitting to her left nudged her with his elbow.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione ignored him completely and continued to stab at her plate.

"So… are you having a good birthday, Hermione?"

She glanced up at James's smirking face before looking back down.

"It's not my birthday, so whatever you're planning, cancel it."

"Nope. Sorry. Nice try," he practically sang.

Hermione scowled at him.

She turned to the left and frowned when she saw Sirius's distraught look.

_He wants you to be happy, Mione._

Hermione shook her head, but then felt Sirius grip her hand under the table. She looked back up at him and he gave her an imploring look.

She sighed and turned back to James.

"There better be cake, Jamie."

James grinned and clapped his hands together.

"The woman wants cake!"

With that a collective sign echoed from everyone sitting around the table and suddenly everyone around her was wishing her a happy birthday.

By the end of dinner she was starting to think she'd never had a birthday as good as this one.

* * *

James had come through with the cake. A strawberry one with bright pink frosting had made its way around the common room and she was sung to for the first time in years. They sat playing games and laughing until the common room cleared out and it was just Hermione and the Marauders spread out in front of the fire.

The pleasant silence was interrupted when James suddenly jumped up and ran up the stairs. Hermione barely had time to contemplate this before he was sprinting back down with a small collection of brightly wrapped presents in his arms.

Hermione stared at them with wide eyes. When her eyes darted from a particularly horrendous pink bow back up to the boy holding them, he was smiling happily down at her.

"You really think we wouldn't get you something?"

Hermione's face was frozen as he plopped down on the floor right next to her and dropped the small pile in her lap.

"Mum and Dad sent quite a few. I think you might be their favorite."

"I…"

Hermione was truly at a loss for words. Until this afternoon, she hadn't even known it was her birthday, and now she was sitting there with more presents than she'd ever gotten in her life. Her parents had always been very pragmatic about Christmas. A few books and maybe a couple articles of clothes every year.

"Well, are you just going to stare at them?"

Hermione carefully reached for one of them. It was from Peter. She smiled up at the mousy boy and carefully unwrapped the small box. Sugar quills and a long purple scarf.

She grinned at him when he nervously said, "You said you liked purple a few weeks ago."

"I love it, Peter. Thank you." She wrapped the scarf around her neck and Peter looked relieved.

"Mine next!" James shouted. She waited for him to pull it out before unwrapping it and seeing a large Gryffindor red jumper that had the words "Potter's #1 Fan" stitched on it in gold lettering. Everyone was surprised when she slapped a hand over her mouth and started laughing full heartedly.

"For quidditch games, I expect?" She asked through laughs.

James grinned, "Of course! My sister should be my biggest fan." Her laughs faded and a soft smile landed on her face. My sister. Harry used to joke that she was his sister, and now here his _father _was saying the same thing. How odd. She felt warm all over.

She stood and pulled it on over her button down and pulled the scarf out from under it. It fell to just above the hem of her skirt.

She looked up at James incredulously.

He shrugged and said, "You'll grow into it."

She looked down and started laughing again. "Merlin, I better not! This could fit three of me!"

"You like it?"

"It's perfect, James." He popped up and smacked a kiss on her forehead. She wiped at her forehead.

She dropped back to the ground, and Remus pointed at a present.

She smiled and it only grew when she opened it to see a small charm bracelet with a wolf, a small cat, a rat, a grim, and a stag charm placed all around it. The charms moved like they were real animals. She grinned up at Remus who shuffled towards her and clasped it on her wrist.

"I've been saving up for some new robes, but I thought this was better."

She threw her arms around him and whispered a quiet thank you before Sirius stood and clapped his hands together.

"My present for you needs to be collected. Give me a mo."

Hermione watched as the charms on her wrist curled up on her skin. She smiled when the wolf stretched and appeared to howl.

She froze when she heard a quiet meow. She whipped around clapped a hand to her mouth in surprise when she saw a nervous Sirius Black standing above her with a tiny grey kitten in his arms.

She gasped, "Sirius, you didn't!"

"You don't have a familiar, and I thought it was fitting." She held her arms out and wiggled her fingers. Sirius quickly handed over the kitten who stretched and cuddled into her sweater.

She cooed at it and pressed a few kisses to the top of its little furry head.

"I thought you could name it Sirius, but it turns out she's a girl." She looked up at his smirking face.

"I think I'll name her Clio."

"The Greek Goddess of History?" Remus asked.

"Yes." Hermione smiled to herself.

Sirius cleared his throat and scratched his forehead, "I also thought she'd be able to keep you company on full moons until you become and an Animagus."

Hermione looked up at him in gratitude.

Clio stayed curled up in Hermione's lap for the remainder of presents. All of which were from Dorea and Charlus. It was a collection of clothing, books, and jewelry.

Hermione went to bed wearing all her new presents from the boys with Clio on her chest and the thought that she'd never felt so spoiled in her life.

When she wrote a letter the next morning to thank Charlus and Dorea she addressed it to Mum and Dad.

* * *

The next night immediately following dinner, she walked to the corridor that she'd first met Pandora in.

The girl was perched on the exact same window sill she'd been on before. She smiled up at Hermione when she saw her walking.

"Hermione Granger! How was your birthday?"

Hermione smiled fondly.

"I take it, it went well then?"

"Yes, quite."

"Aren't you glad we waited until tonight then?" Pandora gave her a knowing smile.

Hermione was still too happy to get frustrated by the girl's frustratingly knowledgeable looks.

"Yes. Now where can we find the Grey Lady?"

Pandora slid off the window sill and started to walk towards the end of the corridor. She spoke over her shoulder, "My friend will get quite frustrated if you call her that. I would stick to Helena."

"Helena?" Hermione wracked her brain. "Like Helena Ravenclaw?" She asked with a bit of shock in her tone.

"Yes. Didn't you know?" Pandora gave her another one of her looks before turning down a new and decidedly darker corridor.

There at the end was the well known glow of a ghost. Pandora walked closer to her and smiled. The ghost floated down to them and looked at them suspiciously.

"Hullo, Helena. How are you tonight?"

"Same as I always have been and always will be, Pandora. And who is your friend?"

"This is Hermione Granger. She is trustworthy." Hermione looked at Pandora, shocked when she said simply, "She seeks your mother's Diadem."

Helena looked at Hermione sharply. Goosebumps spread over all of her body when Helena flew through Hermione and floated towards the end of the corridor.

"I will not help you!"

"Please!" Hermione begged.

The ghost stopped. Pandora stepped up and stood next to Hermione.

"I need to destroy it. A dark wizard has done something… vile to it."

Helena spun and looked at her.

"I know what he did! He was an evil wizard! An evil wizard who made similar promises as you!" Hermione tried not to shiver. She tried to think of what Harry would do. More than ever before she needed him. She wanted him back.

_For you, Harry. I did it all for you!_

_Tell her what you're going to do, Mione._

She sighed and looked back up at the ghost.

"Tom Riddle… That evil wizard is Tom Riddle. And I'm going to kill him."

Helena stared through her almost. More than anything she looked sad.

"I'm going to," Hermione said with determination. Helena floated closer to her. Hermione stood up straight, "But I can't if you don't tell me where it is."

Helena looked lost as she started to float away.

"It's here in the castle. In the place where everything is hidden. If you have to ask… you'll never know. If you know… you need only ask."

Hermione gasped. She'd read about this place. The room of requirement. Harry had showed to her at the end of her third year.

Hermione turned towards Pandora and smiled, "The room of requirement! The room of lost things!" Pandora smiled back at her. Hermione turned towards the rapidly disappearing ghost, "Thank you, Helena!"

Hermione had grabbed Pandora's hand and all but sprinted up to the seventh floor. When she got to the empty bit of wall where she knew the room to be she paced in front of it.

"You're a peculiar witch, Hermione Granger."

Hermione smiled at her over her shoulder when the door appeared and said, "I could say the same to you."

When Hermione opened the door she groaned, but Pandora just smiled with amusement.

"This might take longer than I expected," said Hermione.

"Yes, I expect so."

"Can't you just use your powers and tell me where it is?"

Hermione was surprised when Pandora let out a loud laugh and said, "If it only it worked like that!"

Hermione groaned again and said, "Well, I guess we better get started then. If you find it, don't touch it. It is dark magic, and it will try to turn you against yourself."

They spent two hours digging through piles that night to no avail. Hermione only decided to head back when she realized that the boys had probably sent out a search party by now.

Pandora was waiting for her at the front of the room when she walked back.

"Oh, so you're back to knowing everything, huh?"

Pandora gave her that infuriating smile and said, "Like I said, Hermione, great friends."

* * *

**AN: WOW had **_**not**_ **planned on that chapter being so intense. But some development in Sirius and Hermione's relationship felt necessary. Hope you enjoy some angst;)**

**Please, please, please, let me know what you think in the reviews!**


	12. Secrets

**AN: **

** kallinit for the review about parseltongue: since they didn't go into detail about how exactly to open the chamber at the order meeting I didn't want to throw in how she knows it without context. So that will be explained when the smaller group goes to actually kill the basilisk! Thanks for the review and nice words:)**

**I always feel like the mudblood scar would have more of a lasting effect on Hermione than most people portrayed. I feel like it would represent everything that had happened to her and in order to move on she'd have to accept it.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Secrets**

To say Hermione was surprised when she received a note from Madame Pomfrey requesting her presence in the hospital wing before breakfast that morning was an understatement. She'd gotten much better at sneaking out of the pile of boys without waking them up in the mornings.

She'd taken to getting up before them and getting ready to get some studying done in the common room that she couldn't do with them in the room. When she'd walked down there at close to five in the morning an elf had popped in and handed her the note. She'd promptly walked to the hospital wing out of curiosity.

Pomfrey had been waiting for her and quickly ushered her into her small office in the back and instructed her to take a seat.

"How are you doing, Miss Granger?" Hermione gave the healer a questioning look, but answered the question nonetheless.

"I've been doing fine all things considered."

"Any lingering effects?"

Hermione hesitated then said, "I still get tremors every once in a while."

"From the crucio I assume?" Hermione appreciated Pomfrey's clinical way of speaking about things.

"Yes…"

"Any lingering effects mentally? I am surprised you are still sane if the diagnostics from that night were accurate."

"Well, I slip away sometimes," Hermione whispered.

Pomfrey nodded like she wanted her to continue.

"I hear voices and such… and sometimes get a little trapped in memories, but it's getting better."

"Very well. Anything else?"

"Will my scars ever disappear?"

Pomfrey frowned and for the first let her clinical mask slip into a sad expression. "I'm sorry, but I am afraid not. Most of your injuries were acquired from dark objects and curses. You could try glamoring them?"

Hermione shook her head and said, "Already tried that. Doesn't work."

Pomfrey nodded, "I thought so."

Hermione allowed the silence to linger for a few seconds before asking, "Was there anything else?"

"Yes actually. I've been meaning to send a note for you to return this, but it kept slipping from my mind." Pomfrey reached behind her and opened a drawer. She pulled something out that looked to be wrapped in a simple yellow cloth.

Hermione tentatively took it from her hands. When she unwrapped it her eyes widened in shock.

It was the time-turner.

The one that Snape had apparently programmed under Dumbledore's to send her back.

Hermione immediately wrapped it back up and clenched her fingers tightly around it.

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey. I assumed that Dumbledore took it, or that it had been destroyed."

"It's yours, deary. I am sorry I kept it from you for so long."

Hermione had a brief smidgen of hope that perhaps she'd be able to study it and figure out a way back. She'd be able to see Harry and Ron. Find her parents. End _her _war.

_You can't, Mione._

_I believe what I used to send you back destroyed your timeline all together._

Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes.

There was no future to go back to. This time-turner was essentially useless.

Hermione stood abruptly and gave Pomfrey a strained smile.

"Well, I'm sure James is waiting for me, so I must be heading back," she said quickly.

Pomfrey nodded at her absently.

When Hermione got back to Gryffindor Tower she shoved the device as far down her bag as she could manage.

A problem for later.

* * *

Pandora and Hermione continued to meet at the room of requirement every friday for a month and they still hadn't had any luck. The room was a nightmare and Hermione could really only search for a couple hours tops before she'd have to go back to Gryffindor tower.

Hermione was getting restless and irritable and the boys had started to notice.

It came to its peak that morning at breakfast the swarm of owls had swooped in and dropped the Prophet on the table. Hermione had grabbed it and paled at the headline.

"Muggleborn's Family Murdered!"

Hermione scanned the paper and only got more and more stiff as she read. She vaguely registered Remus's hand on her elbow.

The picture was of the dark mark above the Whisp family home. The girl was a small third year Hufflepuff.

Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth. She hadn't known the Whisps, but she imagined it was because the muggleborn hadn't made it to the second war.

Hermione had never been more thankful that she had sat next to Lily Evans. She reached over and grabbed the frozen girl's hand. The girl was nearly catatonic, but the contact broke her.

"What if it's my family next, Hermione?"

Hermione thought about her own family. How she would never see her parents again. She pushed that down and squeezed Lily's hand.

"It won't be, Lily." Lily was crying when she looked over at Hermione. James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were listening carefully to the conversation. "It _won't._"

Lily had realized in the past month that Hermione was the kind of person you wanted on your side. She was a menace in Defense, and she spoke like she knew all the secrets of the world.

"Over Christmas break I'll come over and set up wards."

"Wards? But we haven't learned those yet…" Hermione just looked at her. "Right. You've read a book about it, have you?" Hermione's stare didn't waver.

"No." Lily jumped and stared at her. "I had the strongest wards I could find up on my own home. Put them up myself."

"Had? Like past tense?"

Hermione didn't answer. She stood and threw the paper back on the table in disgust. In a bout of supposedly accidental magic it turned to ashes. Hermione wasn't looking at any of them when she said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to speak with Albus."

"Albus?" James and Sirius chorused.

They all watched in amazement as she looked up at the head table and stared at the Headmaster. When he turned his eyes towards her they held contact for a moment before he stood. Hermione threw her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the Great Hall without a goodbye.

When both the Headmaster and Hermione were gone Sirius said loudly, "What the fuck just happened?"

Despite Lily's sniffling she still managed to reprimand Sirius for his language.

James was too serious to woo her at the moment.

He knew four things for a fact.

The first was that Hermione had placed wards on her family's home sometime before she'd been taken.

The second was that Hermione didn't have any family left.

The third was that Hermione was on a first name basis with Headmaster Dumbledore.

And the fourth was that Muggleborns were being targeted and his two favorite witches were Muggleborns.

James straightened his glasses and looked at Lily. He cleared his throat. Lily looked nervous.

"Potter, what is it?"

"Hermione's right. We're going to place wards up at your house," he said.

"Okay, yes, that's decided, but did everyone hear how Hermione called Dumbledore, Albus?" asked Sirius.

Lily stared at James like he'd grown an extra head for the remainder of breakfast.

* * *

Hermione was furious. They'd barely shut the door before she was yelling.

"What about what I said about the wards on Muggle family's homes! Did you even listen!"

"Miss Granger, would you like some tea?"

"Tea! _Tea!_" She scoffed. "No! I don't want some tea! I want wards on family's homes! I want Voldemort dead!" Dumbledore smiled sadly at her.

"Oh yes. Speaking of that. I have discovered the location of the Gaunt Ring."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I'll be coming with you to retrieve it. No arguments."

Dumbledore nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything different."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Look into those wards, Albus, or this is just going to continue to happen!" With that she flew out of the room.

* * *

The rest of the day passed in an odd blur. Hermione's thoughts had been occupied all day, and it wasn't until her and Lily came upon a rather upsetting scene in the hallway on their walk to DADA that she was able to focus back in.

James Potter had his wand pointed at a levitated and upside down Severus Snape.

Sirius was standing right next to him and Remus and Peter were off to the side shifting nervously.

Hermione braced herself.

"POTTER!"

Lily was furious. She ran up to James and screamed at him to put Snape down. James had a surprisingly serious face when he turned to look at Lily.

"You don't understand he was-"

"I don't care what he was doing. Put him down!"

James reluctantly lowered Snape who immediately climbed back up to his feet and gave James a positively venomous look. It was then that Hermione noticed a bunch of boys in Slytherin green ties standing behind Snape.

"Letting your little girlfriend save the day again, Sev?" Hermione's head snapped up. She _knew _that voice. It was Mulciber. He'd held quite a few of her torture sessions in the past (future?).

Snape's furious expression moved from James to Lily who visibly flinched back. James's hand immediately went to her shoulder, and Snape's eyes followed the movement.

"I don't need saving from a, filthy mudblood," he said in a low growl. Lily grew very pale and then very red as all of Snape's gang began to laugh and clap him on the shoulder.

"Lily…" Hermione tried, but the girl had spun on her heel and disappeared so quickly that she missed the way Snape's face became grief stricken. Hermione watched as the boy fought with himself in his mind.

Go after her!

She begged from her head.

Then Mulciber had Snape by the tie and was dragging him off.

It was only then that Hermione realized Remus and Peter were holding Sirius and James back.

Hermione jumped in front of them in a panic and said, "Lily needs us!" James immediately deflated at that and started running in the direction the girl had disappeared.

Hermione grabbed Sirius by the wrist and started dragging him after her.

"Come on, Sirius! You can punch him later!"

* * *

Lily was a sobbing mess in the empty classroom they'd chased her down to.

She was standing next to a desk with her back to them.

Hermione remembered the first time she'd been called that word. James was reaching out for Lily, but she flinched away.

"Go away, Potter!"

Remus stepped forward, but she just glared at him. It wasn't until Hermione stepped up to her that she let her approach. She turned around to face her.

"Lily." Hermione stopped a few feet away from her. "I know how you feel."

Lily looked up at her and glared. "He's my best friend! How could he just..." Hermione frowned. She was having the most trouble with Snape when it came to separating the future from the past. Every time she saw him or heard his name she would get flashbacks to him in her cell wrapping a chain around her neck and telling her everyone was dead.

_Stupid girl!_

Hermione shook her head, took a deep breath, and turned to looked at Sirius. He was frowning at her because in the past month he'd learned what all her looks meant. This one meant that the voice in her head wasn't pleasant.

He was still figuring out what to do about it when Hermione steeled herself and turned back to Lily.

"Did you forget I'm a mudblood too?" Hermione asked matter-of-factly. Lily recoiled from her like Hermione had physically harmed her.

Sirius was next to her gripping her elbow in an instant. He growled when he said, "You don't get to call yourself that!"

Hermione didn't even look at Sirius when she pulled away and moved even closer to Lily.

"It's true! It's what I am, and it's what Lily is." Hermione wasn't sure if this was the right way to go about this, but it was too late now. The word had stopped affecting her by the time they had gone on the run, but then it had been carved into her skin and her mentality about it changed.

"In the muggle world you're a freak because you're different." Lily flinched, but Hermione kept going, "Then McGonagall or Dumbledore showed up on your doorstep and told you you were a witch, and it all made sense, right? Made all the comments and insults worth it?"

Lily looked at her for a second before nodding.

"Then you get here and you're different again because you were raised by muggles. And they tell you you're less because of your blood."

Lily was crying again.

"But they're wrong_, _Lily." Hermione took a couple steps closer to her. "That word is vile, but it's _just a word_."

Lily had her face in her hands, but she looked up at this. She didn't seem convinced. Hermione yanked her sleeve up and shoved her wrist forward. The letters were still raised and a reddish black like the day she'd gotten it. Hermione refused to look away from it this time.

Lily gasped and turned decidedly green. "What… How…"

"It's just a word," whispered Hermione. Sirius stepped up and carefully rolled her sleeve back down. His fingers lingered on her wrist. When Hermione looked up at him he had a grim expression and the same sad eyes. Looking at his eyes hurt too much, so she turned back to Lily's. Harry's. This hurt too, but she swallowed it down and said, "It can only hurt you, if you let it."

Lily wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Okay." Hermione sagged and thanked Merlin that Lily didn't press for answers. She smiled up at Sirius and turned back towards the door.

"Good. Now chin up." Hermione grabbed Lily's hand and started pulling her back towards the corridor. "We're going back out there."

"What!" Lily squealed.

Peter was shifting nervously when he said, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe we should wait a little bit."

"Absolutely not. If we wait any longer Snape, Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, and all those rotten bastards would have won, and they don't get to win this one."

It turned into Lily leaning back with all her weight and Hermione proving herself to be a lot stronger than she looked.

Lily was protesting and screeching at her and Hermione was cursing more than they'd ever heard. She'd developed a bit of a bad mouth recently.

The boys were all lined up watching from a safe distance.

"My bet is on Hermione," said Remus.

"I don't know… James's Lily Flower has a bit of a temper," said Sirius. "I bet once she gets angry enough it'll be a pretty fair fight."

"You couldn't pay me enough to get in between those two," said a terrified looking James.

Sirius smirked when he said, "You wouldn't have to pay me at all."

Remus shook his head, "No shame, Sirius."

When they focused on the girls in front of them again Hermione had a firm grip on Lily's shoulder and was whispering something in her ear that had her paling rapidly.

When Hermione released Lily she grabbed her bag and promptly walked out of the room. Hermione looked back at the boys and smiled pleasantly.

"Coming?"

Sirius was the first to scramble after her.

When they all stepped out of the classroom it was to a Lily Evans with her arms crossed waiting patiently by the door. She had red cheeks, but other than that she looked normal.

It was evident more than ever that Lily Evans was the kind of pretty that you didn't forget. She was righteously beautiful. Perfect red hair, perfect amount of freckles, perfect deep green eyes, and slender but feminine body.

Hermione felt the familiar self consciousness that had plagued her before she'd been too busy with dark witches and wizards to think about it, return. She was just thankful that she at least didn't have the buck teeth that she'd had up until that mean jinx Malfoy had hit her with in third year. She was finally almost up to a normal weight, but she was still pretty flat in the breast department. She had lightly tanned skin and a small smattering of freckles over her nose which were nice. But her hair was positively atrocious, and Lily Evans was in perfect shiny waves down her back. Hermione sighed.

She grabbed Lily's elbow and continued on their previous journey to the Defense classroom before they'd been stopped at the sight of a certain Slytherin hanging upside down.

"Come along, Lily."

Lily sniffed from next to her and was still obviously pouting.

"Listen, at least your post-cry face isn't nearly as obvious as mine."

Lily scoffed and said, "Yes, but you crying makes all your boys melt like popsicles in the summer."

Hermione looked up at her skeptically before glancing behind her. The boys were walking about ten feet behind her and whispering conspiratorially. Remus saw her looking and gave her a tender smile. Hermione smiled at him before turning back around.

She missed the way a light pink spread across his cheeks, but Lily sure didn't. She nudged Hermione.

"I actually think Remus might fancy you a bit."

Hermione's entire face turned red. She had only ever had one kiss, and it had been with Ron under a sprig of mistletoe in Order headquarters her third year. She hadn't even counted it. It had been less than a second and left both teens blushing messes for the rest of the night to the enjoyment of every member.

"Now I think you're just reaching for something to make me feel better about my ugly crying face," whispered Hermione, but she couldn't help but risk a quick glance behind her again. This time Remus was laughing about something James had said, but then his smile turned towards Hermione and he was awash in concern. She whipped her head back around. She must've looked a fright with her tomato red face and wide eyes.

Lily was laughing then. Hermione slapped her arm and scowled.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you fancy him too, Hermione."

Hermione smacked her again and screeched, "I don't have time for boys, Lily Evans!"

Suddenly the boys were surrounding them and Sirius had put his arm around Hermione.

"What's all this about not having time for boys, kitten?" He asked in a mocking tone. Now Hermione could feel her blush taking over her entire body. She smacked her forehead.

"Get your paws off Hermione, Pads!" Suddenly James was launching himself at Sirius and Hermione was pulled to the ground with him. She landed on her side and her bag fell next to her with all the contents spilling out. James and Sirius were busy rolling around on the ground, so Remus and Lily immediately dropped to the ground and started helping her with her with her things.

"Potter! Just when I thought you couldn't be more inconsiderate!" Lily yelled. James looked up and smiled dreamily at Lily.

"You're so pretty when you're angry, Lily-flower!"

Lily scoffed and continued to gather Hermione's things. Peter was now trying to pull Sirius and James apart to no avail.

Hermione was rubbing her elbow when she noticed both Remus and Lily freeze.

"What is it?"

She crawled towards them, but stopped when she saw a piece of yellow cloth hanging between Lily's fingers. Resting on the stone floor between her two friends was Hermione's time-turner. _The _time-turner.

Hermione stopped breathing.

She looked up with panicked eyes to Remus and Lily. Maybe they didn't know what it was.

One look in their eyes disproved that notion.

They were both top of the class after all.

Hermione reached forward and snatched the time-turner from the ground and the cloth from Lily's hands.

They would know. They would know, and then they would ask questions. This could compromise her entire plan. None of _them _were supposed to know.

She wrapped it up and shoved it into the pocket of her robes. She could feel both of them staring at her as she grabbed the rest of her stuff.

She could feel the beginning of a panic attack coming on.

_Stupid, girl!_

Once she had everything she paused and looked up at her two friends. For the first time since she became friends with them she gave them a look she had typically reserved for Dumbledore.

"Not a word," she said menacingly.

Both looked taken aback, and she felt guilt edge its way forward.

"I'll explain…" she looked over at the other three boys who were just beginning to calm down, "but not now."

She stood up abruptly and practically ran away from them towards the Defence class.

She spent all of defense formulating a plan and trying to ignore her friends' stares.

* * *

That night in the common room Remus made up some excuse about needing to run to the library for something. Lily promptly said she also needed a book, and then turned towards Hermione expectantly.

"Coming, Hermione?"

Hermione looked up from her textbook that she had spent the last ten minutes trying to concentrate on to no avail. She sighed and stood.

"Yes. Let me grab something. One moment."

Hermione went to her room and grabbed her notebooks that she kept locked in a drawer in the bedside table and walked towards the exit like she was walking to her death.

As soon as she had stepped out of the portrait she saw the scrutinizing eyes of both Remus and Lily.

"Not here."

She led them all the way up to the only room where she knew they wouldn't be interrupted.

She paced in front of the wall and simply asked for a place to break news.

When she opened the door it was to a comfortable looking sitting room with a small table in between two sofas and a crackling fireplace.

She sat on one, and they sat on the other.

Hermione had spent all of defense thinking about this, and she still didn't know where to start. There was one thing she knew though. If there was anyone she could trust explicitly to keep this secret it was a boy who was a werewolf and the girl who kept his secret.

When Hermione finally looked up at them she had tears in her eyes.

"I have a secret, and you can't tell anyone." Hermione looked between them. "_Ever._"

Lily's eyes widened, but Remus was leaning forward and nodding his head like he'd already known this was what she was going to say.

Hermione wiped at her eyes angrily and pulled the device from her pocket and dropped it on the table in front of them.

"You know what this is?"

Remus said quietly, "It's a time-turner."

Hermione nodded. "My birthday, my _real _one, is September 19, 1979."

"1979… but that would mean…" Lily's eyes hadn't unwidened since before.

"That device was used to send me to this timeline on June 14, 1975." Hermione frowned. She really didn't know where to go from here, or what she even exactly wanted to tell them. "I think this would be easier for me if you just ask me questions.

"Why would you come back in time?"

Hermione's frown turned into a scowl. "I didn't decide to come back. I was _sent_. I had no idea what was happening until I was already here."

Remus sat back and looked pensive for a moment. He scratched the back of his head and nervously asked, "Are you going back?"

Hermione shook her head. "They destroyed my timeline when they sent me back. I've already changed things. My future doesn't exist. I won't be born in 1979."

Remus felt bad for how relieved he was.

Lily jumped in and asked, "Why would they send you?"

"I'm on a mission." Hermione's lips thinned.

"They sent you with no way of going back for a mission? Must be pretty important," said Lily. Hermione was surprised they were taking this so well.

"It is," she replied simply.

"Can you tell us?"

Hermione hesitated. Would she put them in danger if they knew? This was her burden to bear. Then again, she had told the entire order, but that was different. They were all legally adults in the Wizarding world. The thought that she'd been dragged into the war at twelve is what drove her to finally say something.

"It has to do with the war. They're using me… as a weapon of sorts."

Remus frowned. Lily growled in frustration, "Could you stop being so vague?"

Hermione scowled at her and said, "I don't know what I should and shouldn't tell you! This is hard for me!" Hermione took a few deep breaths.

"I'm assuming the war was still going on in your timeline," said Remus.

Hermione nodded and closed her eyes.

"The scars and all your friends… that's all true?"

Hermione looked up at Remus in shock. "I haven't lied to you, Remus!"

Remus felt immeasurably guilty when he saw hurt fill Hermione's eyes. He realized then what that sounded like. He shot up and went to sit next to her.

He grabbed her hands and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." He watched as the hurt slowly melted from her big brown eyes and gently squeezed her fingers. "Now, what did you mean when you said they're using you as a weapon?"

Hermione's eyes darted from Remus to Lily, and then back to Remus again.

"We lose. The light side… we finally lose on June 14th of 1994. I was the only one who survived because I was being held in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Dumbledore gave someone orders to send someone back to a certain time if all hope was lost to permanently alter the timeline. June 14, 1975. Everyone was _dead_, Remus."

Remus was putting all the pieces together in his head. Her behavior, not knowing the year, seeming to be war-torn when the majority of the Wizarding community was still untouched, and her apparent hatred of Dumbledore. He was _using _her. Sent her back without her permission or knowledge in the state she was in. Suddenly her waking up all those months ago and shakily whispering, _Lupin_, made sense. She must've known him before. He shook himself. That was a topic for later.

"They expect you to single-handedly end the war before it even really begins?"

Remus realized then what ending the war would entail. She was going to have to kill Voldemort.

Hermione nodded. When she looked back up at Remus and Lily she had a steely look in her eyes.

"And I'm going to."

Remus had never believed in someone as much as he believed in Hermione Granger in that exact moment.

Then Lily said with all the Gryffindor courage she could muster, "Not without us, you aren't."

* * *

**AN: Wow a lot happened in that chapter. Sorry it took me so long! Took me a while to figure out what I was ready for Hermione to tell Remus and Lily. And yes I realize a lot has diverged from the canon verse, but that's kind of the point:) love you guys!:')**

**In time-turner fics it always bothers me when Hermione never tells anyone where she is from. I get that it would be out of character for her to just come out and say it which is why I forced her hand. She promised herself she would never lie to the boys.**

**PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!**


	13. Teaspoons

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Teaspoons**

The first Quidditch match of the season was in a couple hours which meant that the great hall was teeming with spirited students. Hermione walked in wearing a pair of flair denims and her jumper that James had made her. It came down to mid-thigh and made her look awful frumpy, but she had never been more happy. Her hair was being held up in a bun by her wand and for the first time in her life she was mildly excited to be attending a match.

It was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, so the students were a sea of yellow and burgundy. When Hermione sat down James was beaming at her in his gear across the table.

"I knew you'd love it!"

Sirius was smirking next to James when he said, "I am getting you a 'Black's #1 fan' shirt for Christmas."

Hermione scoffed, "I won't wear it."

Just then Marlene McKinnon sat down next to Sirius and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Will I be getting one also, Sirius?"

Hermione avoided looking at them by shoveling some food onto a plate.

"Anything for you, McKinnon." He winked at her, and Hermione got this odd sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Sirius was a shameless flirt, but with Marlene it seemed different.

Hermione was staring at her plate with a frown on her face when she felt Remus nudge her in the side.

"Not a big Quidditch fan, Hermione?"

"Not really. Harry and Ron were _huge _fans though."

Hermione smiled sadly at her plate. She hadn't gotten around to telling Remus who exactly Harry and Ron were, and she still wasn't sure if she wanted to.

_I wouldn't, Mione._

Hermione flinched and sought out Sirius's eyes, but he was leaning towards Marlene and whispering something in her ear that had the girl wearing a devilish expression. She quickly averted her eyes.

Remus watched all of this from his spot next to Hermione.

He cleared his throat and before he could stop himself asked quietly, "Sit with me?"

He cursed himself when Hermione's head shot up, and she gave him a confused look. "What do you mean, Remus? I'm already sitting with you."

Remus's entire face turned pink. He cleared his throat and whispered, "I meant at the match."

He got even warmer when Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth and laughed at him. Merlin, this was mortifying.

"Of course, I'll sit with you at the match, Remus." Remus's eyes widened and a small goofy smile took over his face.

"Wait, really?"

Hermione gave him a look like he was idiot. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

Remus was still smiling goofily when he turned back to his plate. Sirius and James had both watched the interaction with narrowed eyes. James launched a kick at Remus's shins and the boy did his best not to yelp.

"Oi! What the hell was that for?"

James gave him his worst death glare and whispered angrily, "Don't try anything, Moony."

Then he ruined the entire intimidation act by doing the universal sign for 'I'm watching you'. Hermione blushed at that and reached over to smack James on the head.

"I can take care of myself, James!"

Sirius scoffed and Hermione turned towards him with a menacing look.

"Something to say, Sirius?" Sirius gave her a challenging look and leaned forward.

"We all know that isn't true, kitten. You can't even sleep properly on your own."

He said it quietly, but all of the Marauders and Hermione heard him clearly.

Sirius regretted saying it as soon as he saw the hurt expression that took over her face. He hadn't put any thought into what he was saying, and not for the first time in his life he'd mucked everything up.

Hermione blinked rapidly to stop the tears that sprang to her eyes. Why was it that Sirius was so good at both comforting her and hurting her?

He was about to retract what he'd said before she was moving.

She pushed her plate away and stood up. She ignored all of the boys mixed reactions and stared at the ground.

"I'll meet you before the match, Remus," her voice broke on his name, but she was too busy fleeing the room to see anyone's expressions.

"Wait, Hermione!" Remus tried, but she ignored him. Remus turned towards Sirius and his eyes flashed amber. "Why the fuck did you say that, Sirius!"

Sirius sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Pads, there literally isn't anything worse you could have said in that moment," James said quietly. He was frowning and shaking his head. If there was anything Hermione hated most, it was being compared to a helpless damsel in any means. James had learned that the hard way, and now it appeared to be Sirius's turn.

"I just don't think before I speak sometimes!" Sirius sounded decidedly miserable, so James gave him a quick pat on the back.

"Don't you think all the time would be more accurate?" Peter asked.

"Pete, not you too!" Sirius groaned.

Peter shrank a little into the bench, "Well, you have to admit, what you said was pretty bad, Sirius."

Sirius took his head out of his hands to bang it against the table. "Fuck!"

"I'm going to go find her," said Remus. He gave Sirius one final glare before following in Hermione's steps and leaving the great hall.

* * *

Hermione spent a couple minutes in the bathroom splashing water on her face before deciding to just go lay down until she needed to meet Remus.

She had been walking down the first floor corridor towards the stairs when someone stepped directly in her path.

"Oi! I found the new Gryffindor Mudblood." Hermione shivered and looked up into the face of an older boy in Slytherin green. He had a slimy voice and looked vaguely familiar. "You're a bit of a looker in a plain, mousy way." The comment made Hermione nauseous.

"She's awfully small for a fifth year, don't you think?" said a different voice from behind her.

The boy in front of her grabbed at a piece of her jumper and pulled on it so that she stumbled closer to him. "What's this rubbish? Potter's Number One Fan?" He practically spat out the words.

Hermione tried to pull away, but he just held on tighter. She threw her hand up for her wand, but whoever was standing behind her was thinking faster than her. Her hair fell down her back, and that's when she finally let herself start to panic. She heard her wand clatter to the ground from somewhere behind her.

She threw one fist forward, and it connected with the guy in front of her's stomach.

"Bloody hell!" He fell forward slightly, but didn't let her go. Someone grabbed her hair, and that's when she realized that there were at least three of them.

"Let me go!"

"We got ourselves a fiery little minx, Yaxley!"

Hermione gasped. She'd encountered Yaxley once on the run and multiple times in the Manor. She remembered dreading seeing his greasy face. He was disturbed as an adult, and now he was standing before her barely of age and just as terrifying as before. This was not good. She tried to throw another punch, but one of them grabbed at her wrists and twisted them painfully behind her back. Then she was being slammed against the stone wall. Her head hit the stone with a resounding thud, and her vision disappeared momentarily. She had to say something to stop them before it went too far.

"Someone's going to come down this corridor, soon!"

One of them reached up and covered her mouth.

"Scream and this will end much worse for you, Mudblood."

Hermione bit down on the fingers covering her mouth. He cursed and yanked his hand away, and Hermione could tasted blood in her mouth.

Whoever was holding her hair gave a violet tug, and suddenly she was staring into Yaxley's crazed eyes.

"We're going to have fun with you."

One of their hands was on her waist and inching up. She tried to pull away again, but it was no use.

Hermione spat at him and felt almost smug when she saw the spit hit him just below his eye with a mixture of blood and saliva. The smugness disappeared when he started to pull her jumper up. She started to fight them even more aggressively, but they were all significantly larger than her. Her vision was blurred and her head was pounding, but she didn't want to think about what would happen to her if she stopped fighting them.

"Let me go!"

Yaxley growled at her and was about to say something when he was interrupted by someone yelling from the opposite end of the corridor.

"Hey! Get away from her!"

Remus.

Hermione tried to turn towards him, but someone still had her wrists and hair in their grip. Then the hands were being ripped violently from her, and she fell to the ground. She vaguely registered the sound of multiple footsteps running down the hall.

She was trembling when Remus fell to the ground next to her. He reached up and carefully reached a hand into the curls at the back of her head. She was getting very dizzy.

"Hermione?"

Her eyes were darting around the floor, "My wand." She managed to say, but it came out as a gasp.

"I have it."

Remus pulled his hand out of her hair to grab the wand sitting next to him. He paused when he saw the blood on his fingers. It was then that the metallic smell assaulted his nose.

"You're bleeding!" He reached for the back of her head again, but she flinched away.

"No, please don't!"

She squeezed her eyes shut. She could feel their hands all over her. She let out a choked sob.

"Hermione?"

"I can feel them." Her voice was shaking.

"Feel what? Hermione I need to take you to the hospital wing." Remus watched helplessly as Hermione became hysterical. Her eyes were glazed over like they used to get when she'd wake up from her nightmares. He tried to reach for her, but she scrambled away.

"Don't touch me!"

Remus was panicking. He wasn't good with hysterical Hermione. The only person who was good with hysterical Hermione was Sirius and Sirius was probably presently flirting with Marlene in the Great Hall. On top of that, Remus wasn't even sure she'd want to see Sirius after what he had said at breakfast. He was racking his brain for what to do when he heard laughter from down the corridor.

"Hermione someone is coming let me take you to Madame Pomfrey!" He reached for her again, but stopped when she flinched. "_Please, _Hermione!"

"Remus?" Someone asked from behind him.

He turned and sighed in relief at the sight of Lily and Dorcas.

"Is Hermione okay? What happened?" He had blood on his hands and hermione was crouched against the wall. He didn't have time to think about what they looked like. Hermione's cries could be heard in the background.

"Lily! Go get James and Sirius!" When Lily hesitated he yelled, "Go!"

He turned back around and inched as close as he could to Hermione without her pulling away.

"It's okay. Lily is getting James." He was saying as many soothing things as he could think, but nothing seemed to be working.

Remus could hear people running down the corridor. Suddenly James and Sirius were crouching down on both sides of Remus.

"They're gone, okay? No one else is going to hurt you," Remus tried again.

Hermione's forehead was resting on her knees. "I can still feel them!" Her words were broken up by sobs.

"What happened? What can you feel Hermione?" James asked.

"Their…their hands." Remus wanted to vomit. He'd barely waited five minutes to come look for her after she'd left breakfast. How could this have happened?

James jumped forward and reached for her face. "Hermione?"

Hermione wouldn't open her eyes, but she'd stopped sobbing and was now just sniffling.

"James?" When she whispered this James reached out for her hands.

"It's me. I'm going to bring you to the hospital wing, okay?" He waited until she nodded to carefully pull her into his arms and stand up.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

She was gripping the front of his shirt with her eyes squeezed tight. Remus and Sirius started walking on both sides of James.

"Please don't tell, Sirius."

When she said that all three boys stopped walking. James looked over at Sirius who was frowning at the ground.

"Is this about what he said earlier?"

She nodded against his shirt and his lips thinned.

"Okay."

"Promise?" James gave Sirius a pained look before continuing towards the Hospital wing.

"Yeah…"

When they finally made it the boys stood to the side as Pomfrey bustled about and coaxed potions down Hermione's throat that put her to sleep.

When she was done with that and had cleaned and closed the wound on the back of Hermione's head she turned her stern expression towards the boys.

"Explain!"

James and Sirius looked towards Remus, who sighed.

"I wasn't there for all of it. When I found her Yaxley, Crabbe, and Nott had her against the wall. They had taken her wand."

Sirius growled and said, "I'm going to kill them!"

"Had her against the wall?" Asked Pomfrey.

"They had her… pinned. I don't know what they were going to do."

In all actuality he had a pretty good idea about what they were planning on doing before he'd shown up. It must've shown on his face because the healer adopted a very sad expression and James and Sirius clenched their fists.

"You'll have to speak with Dumbledore later, Mr. Lupin. As for you two, don't you have a match to get to?"

"But what about-"

"It's okay, guys. I'll stay with her," said Remus. He went closer to the bed and pulled up a chair. "When she wakes up she probably won't want all of us crowding her anyway." Remus carefully avoided eye-contact with Sirius, but Sirius knew he was only talking about him.

"Yeah, okay," whispered James who then went and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead before grabbing Sirius's elbow and dragging him out of the hospital wing. "We'll be back as soon as the match is over."

Remus surveyed Hermione and carefully took one of her hands in his.

"Madame Pomfrey?"

She hummed in acknowledgement.

"Do you know… Well…"

"Just spit it out, Mr. Lupin."

Remus sighed. "Do you know if… when the death eaters… did they ever?"

He couldn't force the words out, but she seemed to understand what he was asking anyway. The woman sighed and set down the viles she'd been collecting.

"There was no medical evidence of it."

Remus let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

After that Madame Pomfrey quickly gathered everything and began to make her way out.

"She'll be up in a couple hours. I'll allow you to stay, but just because I believe waking to a friendly face would be beneficial."

She shut the curtain around the bed, and Remus was left to his own devices. He tightened his hold on her hand and laid his head on the edge of the bed. He was thoroughly exhausted and it was barely ten in the morning. He tried to swallow down his guilt about not getting there sooner, but it kept resurfacing.

He'd expected to find a crying or angry Hermione when he'd gone after her after what Sirius said, and instead he'd found her shoved against a wall surrounded by three of the worst guys here.

He fell asleep trying not to think about what would've happened if he had been just a few minutes later.

* * *

Hermione woke up to someone's cheek on her hand and a pounding headache.

She groaned and rolled on to her side and saw that resting on her hand was a sleeping Remus. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forget about what had happened just a couple of hours ago.

She'd gotten soft. Months without true and immediate danger had made it almost worse this time. She hadn't been expecting it, and she certainly hadn't expected to see Yaxley. She needed to make a list of every Death Eater currently in Hogwarts, so she wouldn't get trapped like that.

Remus woke up when Hermione started squeezing his hand so hard he was losing feeling. He pulled his head up, and her eyes flew open.

"Shh! Hermione, it's just me."

She closed her eyes and said quietly, "I know."

She was embarrassed. Just this morning Sirius had made that comment about Hermione not being able to take care of herself, and now here she was in the hospital wing.

"I'm sorry. I should've been more careful. I should've been able to protect myself."

Remus's eyes widened in shock. "Why on earth are you apologizing for being attacked?"

She ignored her dizziness and sat up. "Sirius is right, Remus! I can't take care of myself!"

He shook his head and whispered, "Sirius is an idiot who doesn't always think before he speaks."

"I_ need_ you guys. I don't want to need you guys." Remus got a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach when she said those words.

"Well, I personally think it's nice to have someone depend on me. No one has ever needed me before."

Remus always found himself being way more honest with Hermione than anyone he'd ever met. This admittance made him turn the shade of pink that was quickly becoming familiar to Hermione.

"Really?" She sounded more timid than he'd ever heard her, so he nodded quickly.

"Really. Plus, Sirius just hasn't realized how much we need you too."

Hermione frowned. Telling Remus and Lily where she'd come from had given her some relief, but the reminder that everyone depended on her was most unwelcome. Remus squeezed her hand right as the curtain slid open and Madame Pomfrey bustled in.

"Hello, dear! How are you feeling?"

Hermione sat up straighter and said, "I'm fine."

"How is your head feeling?"

"It aches a bit."

Madame Pomfrey nodded and gave her a potion before leaving and returning with two trays of food.

"Best to get some food in you. You still have some weight to gain." Pomfrey turned her gaze on Remus and remarked, "You as well, Mr. Lupin."

Hermione snorted and Remus gave her a mock glare.

"You have to admit… you are rather skinny, Remus."

Remus frowned down at himself. "I prefer the term lanky."

The trays of food that Madame Pomfrey had left them were both bursting, and they'd barely put a dent in it when the curtain flew open again, but this time to the sight of a sweaty Sirius and James.

They were still wearing their Quidditch jerseys and had their bags of gear over their shoulders.

"Food!" James yelled before pushing Hermione closer to the side of the bed that Remus was on and squishing in next to her. Before she could even protest he'd taken her fork from her hand and was shoveling her food in his mouth.

Hermione scowled at him and crossed her arms indignantly.

"Hey! I have barely had anything."

James ignored her and said, "We won! In case you were wondering."

Hermione actually smiled at that. "That's wonderful, James."

He smiled and sheepishly handed her fork back. "I forgot you didn't eat breakfast."

At this Hermione looked up at Sirius who was still standing at the end of her bed. He was rubbing the back of his neck and staring determinately at the floor.

There was almost nothing Sirius hated more than having to apologize. He had what some might define as 'pride issues,' which led to a mental block when it came to admitting he'd done anything wrong. But he could say without any doubt that the worst feeling he'd ever felt thus far in his life, was when he listened to Hermione beg James not to tell him that she had been hurt. He was irrevocably drawn to Hermione Granger, and hearing her ask to leave him out of something had hurt him worse than being permanently blasted off his own family tree. So he sucked up his pride and said as loudly as he could muster, "I'm sorry about what I said, Hermione."

She waited until he looked up at her to say, "I forgive you." Then she looked down at her food and smirked to herself when she said, "It's not your fault you have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

Remus snorted, but Sirius just looked confused. "Oi! What's that supposed to mean!"

Hermione swallowed her bite of potatoes and said, "It means you're an idiot, but I forgive you anyway."

Sirius smiled then. "Well in that case, I accept your forgiveness."

She rolled her eyes. "That's not how forgiveness works, you arse."

Sirius threw himself on the end of the bed and swiped Remus's plate. "Now that that's out of the way, I'm starved."

Remus punched him in the arm and mumbled, "Git."

They spent the rest of their meal laughing and stealing food from each other. Hermione welcomed the brief reprieve from her own thoughts.

* * *

**AN: A short but dense chapter. Couldn't resist throwing the classic Hermione quote in there. Thanks for the follows and reviews! **


	14. Forever

**AN: I can't believe how many followers this story has! Thank you guys for the support! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Forever**

Hermione stared down at the parchment in front of her.

_Snape _

_Pettigrew _

_Black _

_Yaxley _

_Mulciber _

_Avery _

_Nott _

_Malfoy_

_Crabbe_

_Goyle_

Those were all of the confirmed Death Eaters in Hogwarts currently. The list made her sick. She had trembled the whole time writing it, but she felt a little relieved after the fact. A concise list of who to be weary of brought her a concerning amount of comfort.

She couldn't show the list to Remus or Lily because of their personal connections to Severus and Peter, so this was purely for her own purposes. She walked around Hogwarts now with her eye on the lookout for any of these faces. She'd told Dumbledore not to do anything about Yaxley, Crabbe, and Nott because she was nervous about the target it might paint on her back. If there was anything she needed to be to the people on that list, it was insignificant.

Hermione had compiled a notebook full of timelines, lists, information, potions, spells, counter-spells, and any other bit of useful knowledge she could imagine. She made two extra duplicates of it in the case that she was compromised.

She shoved the list in her bag with her notebooks and made her way to the Room of Requirement where she was meant to meet Lily and Remus. She'd passed them both a note in class about needing to meet with them this evening for something important.

When she made it to the room Remus and Lily were lingering outside of it with concerned looks on their faces. Hermione quickly thought of a comfortable setting and paced in front of the wall. Once they were inside Lily wasted no time in getting to the point.

"What's this about, Hermione?" Remus and Lily took a seat, but Hermione remained standing.

"I have made two notebooks with everything that I know in regards to the war and killing Voldemort." Remus and Lily flinched as Hermione pulled the books from her bag and held them carefully in her hands. "I have charmed them so that you two are the only ones capable of opening them."

Remus had a feeling he knew the answer, but he still asked, "Why did you do this, Hermione?"

She sighed and her knuckles turned white from how tightly she was holding them.

"My mission is extremely dangerous. If I am compromised in any way, I can't be the only one with this information."

Hermione carefully released her hold and held them out. Lily immediately took it and tried to open it, but the cover didn't budge. Remus watched this and then looked up at Hermione with a furrowed brow.

"What other charms did you put on it?"

Hermione looked down at her feet and pursed her lips. "There's information in there that I am not prepared for you to know. _Things_ that will happen, that you just don't need to be aware of. Things I plan on stopping from happening all together." Remus blanched.

"If you're going to stop them, why can't we know?" Lily asked.

"Because there's a chance that I won't be able to stop them. And if that happens it's better you not know beforehand."

"Well then how will we be able to open it?"

Hermione shook her head and let out a breath that blew one of her curls out of her face. "It's some pretty complex spell work. They will glow and activate the secondary charms if I am compromised."

"Compromised?" Lily whispered.

Hermione looked at her and said resolutely, "Dead or otherwise incapacitated."

Remus shook his head adamantly. "That won't happen."

Hermione looked at him sadly, "You can't know that, Remus."

He adopted an angry expression and clenched his fists around the binding of the notebook, "Don't patronize me, Hermione. It's not going to happen!"

Hermione's lips thinned and she said carefully, "Well even if that were the case, I would rather be safe than sorry."

Lily looked deeply disturbed as she asked, "How can you be so cavalier about your own death? Gryffindor bravery is one thing, but this is new territory for me."

Hermione gave Lily a deadpan look. "You're forgetting where I came from. We were in a war. People died everyday. You weren't safe anywhere. You could be tracked just by muttering Voldemort's name." Lily shivered.

"Then how do you say it so easily?"

"Fear of the name, only increases fear of the thing itself."

"What about the trace?"

"There's a way around that that was adopted by all of the Order members."

After some more convincing Remus and Lily eventually accepted the notebooks, and they left the room to head back to Gryffindor tower. As soon as they had stepped out of the Room of Requirement the tone lightened and they began to laugh. That all came to a stop for Hermione however when Lily asked her what she was planning on wearing to the Halloween dance at the end of the week.

"Halloween dance?" Hermione squeaked.

"Yes! Didn't you hear Dumbledore's announcement this morning?"

Hermione frowned. Of course she hadn't. She'd been too busy scanning all of the House tables for Death Eaters.

Lily ignored her obvious distress and continued on, "Well I am excited. You don't have to wear dress robes, but I think every girl is planning on it. I got asked earlier to be Wilfred Clearwater's date…"

Hermione laughed out loud, "Wilfred Clearwater? Oh, Lil! He's positively dreadful!"

Lily gave her a scolding look and said, "He's not _dreadful… _he's just slightly undignified." Under her breath she muttered, "Plus, I am really terrible at saying no."

"Unless it's to James," Hermione smirked.

Lily scoffed, "Well, of course I am capable of turning down that toerag!"

"He's really not that bad, Lils," said Remus in between laughs from next to her. Lily looked between Remus and Hermione and smiled.

"So who are you planning on asking, Remus?"

Hermione paid diligent attention to her steps on the stone floor in front of her. She had no idea what she wanted to happen. For a brief moment she imagined Remus asking her to go with him. It would be fun. He'd be a bumbling mess the whole night, but she actually found she didn't mind his nervousness. She was smiling at the image of a blushing Remus asking her to dance when Sirius's charming smile popped into her mind unwarranted. She frowned.

"Oh, um…" Remus turned into a tomato and his eyes darted over to Hermione quickly before turning back to the corridor in front of them. He cleared his throat and quietly said, "I hadn't really thought about it."

Remus internally groaned at the obvious lie. The truth was he had thought about it a concerning amount today. He wanted to ask Hermione so bad he thought he might actually collapse in self-inflicted misery.

Lily gave him a pointed look and said, "Well, whoever you ask you better do it quick. I bet other people have their eyes on her also."

Remus gave her a panicked look and tried very hard not to look at Hermione again. He failed. Lily gave him a meaningful expression and nodded to emphasize her point.

Shit.

"Anyway, I am thinking of wearing this nice, pale blue dress my mum sent me. It's a good mix of casual and dress."

Hermione groaned, "I don't think I even have any dresses."

Remus laughed and said, "I know for a fact that Mrs. Potter bought you at least thirty dresses over the summer."

Hermione reached behind Lily to smack Remus's arm. "Shut it, Remus!" Remus fell dramatically to the side and rubbed his bicep.

"Oi! I really shouldn't be surprised about how violent you are anymore, but you still manage to catch me off guard."

"I am _not _violent."

"You certainly are."

Lily quietly said the password to the portrait hole, and stepped through with a sigh. She froze at the sight in front of her. On the most visible couch from the entrance was Sirius and Marlene in a tangle of limbs. Hermione and Remus were still arguing when they walked in, so they failed to notice Lily pause and ended up colliding and collapsing on the floor. Remus was on top of Hermione. Lily was the first to scramble up, and that's when Hermione noticed what had caused Lily to freeze.

She squeaked which caused Sirius to pull away from snogging Marlene to look at them. Remus was still sprawled on the ground on top of Hermione, and lily was pointing an accusatory finger at Sirius.

"I thought I told you last night to keep it decent!"

Sirius frowned at her. "We are decent, Evans!"

Lily gestured in between Marlene and Sirius with wild hands and said with a flaming face. "_That _was not decent."

"Last night?" Hermione asked quietly.

Remus finally started to get up and once he had brushed himself off he leaned over and pulled Hermione up as well.

"Yeah they've been dating for a whole week now."

"Dating… A week?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

That's when Sirius seemed to notice Remus and Hermione were there as well. He actually managed to look ashamed when he saw Hermione's surprised expression.

"Hey, kitten. Remus."

"Kitten?" Marlene asked. "Do I get a cute nickname, Sirius?"

Sirius smirked down at her and said, "Would you like one?"

Marlene was still partially in his lap and Hermione was going into shock. She really shouldn't be surprised, but everyone else seemed to know exactly what was going on besides her.

She watched as Marlene whispered something in Sirius's ear before standing up and grabbing her bag.

"Well I've got some studying to do," Marlene said to everyone. She grabbed Sirius's chin and kissed him on the lips right there in front of all of them. Sirius responded by slapping her arse. Hermione gawked. "I'll be seeing you later tonight."

"God not again!" Cried Lily.

"Don't worry, Lils! We'll be quiet this time." At this Marlene winked before waving to Hermione and Remus and heading up the stairs to her dorm. Hermione avoided everyone's eyes and pointed towards her own dorm.

"Well… I'm just going to… um… right."

She practically ran to her dorm and shut the door firmly behind her. Lily narrowed her eyes at Hermione's door. This was not good.

Remus was looking at Sirius with a furrowed brow.

"How did Hermione not know about Marlene? You've been bragging about it to anyone with two ears!"

Sirius looked extremely suspicious when he said, "How should I know?"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Why have you been hiding her?"

Sirius looked distinctly uncomfortable which really only happened when he was doing something he absolutely knew was a terrible idea.

"I didn't want to tell her," Sirius whispered so quietly that Lily couldn't hear him, but Remus sure did.

Remus closed his eyes. He wasn't an idiot. He might usually be a little slow on the uptake when it came to relationships and anything to do with girls in general, but _Sirius_ he understood. Remus opened his eyes and they were the shade of amber that only happened when he was losing control. Sirius's eyes widened.

"You _like_ her," Remus growled.

Sirius scoffed and said, "Well, of course I like her, Remus! Everyone likes Hermione. That's one of her many talents!."

Remus was getting angry, and he couldn't really figure out why. "That's not what I meant, Pads, and you know it."

His voice was dangerously low. Lily was positively riveted. Whatever was going on here was loads better than her secret stash of self-indulgent muggle romance novels under her bed.

Sirius stood and walked up to Remus. They were toe to toe. Remus may be a few inches taller than Sirius, but Sirius was _built. _Lily couldn't look away.

"Enlighten me, Moony." Sirius was wearing his muggle clothes. Dark jeans, motorcycle boots, muggle rockband shirt, and customary amount of jewelry. Lily realized then that everytime she read a novel with the terrible bad boy character she pictured exactly what she was seeing now. An angry, threatening Sirius Black. Lily covered her pink cheaks and stared on with wide eyes.

"You like Hermione as more than a friend." Sirius narrowed his eyes and Remus continued, "and you're dating Marlene McKinnon. And _hiding _it from, Hermione." Remus looked down his nose at Sirius and said with more venom than Lily had ever heard from him, "What's your plan here, Sirius? Shag and dump Marlene without telling Hermione? Then once that's through you'll do the same to her?"

Sirius grabbed the front of Remus's tan jumper and said, "If you say one more word, I'll kill you, Remus."

"Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps you want your little _kitten_ on the side? Your dirty little secret?" Remus knew as soon as the words left his mouth that they were way too far. Before he could take them back pain exploded across Remus's nose, and he was hitting the ground.

The portrait hole swung open and Lily had never been as thankful as she was at that moment to see James Potter.

Before James could do anything though, Remus was diving for Sirius's knees and they were both on the ground.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Remus was pummeling Sirius. Lily assumed it was the werewolf strength and all that rot. She didn't know whose side she was on. On one hand, Remus had gone too far in the awful things he'd said, but on the other, Sirius had been hiding Marlene from Hermione which was wholly suspicious if you take into account just who Sirius was. Then Lily realized that she was being a moron. She wasn't on either of their sides. She was on Hermione and Marlene's side.

While Lily was having this internal battle James was working to pull an enraged Remus off of Sirius. They were still spewing insults and trying to kill the other when Lily came back to her senses and pointed her wand at Remus.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Remus froze with one fist in the air. Sirius crawled out from under him with a clearly broken nose, blackened eye, and a bruising jaw.

James yanked him up, and Sirius turned his head to the side to spit. Lily grimaced when the spit was just blood.

"What the fuck are you two doing!"

James's glasses were crooked and his entire face was red in anger. Sirius glared over at James and hissed, "Ask, Moony!"

Then he swerved and stormed up to his dorm. Lily flinched when the door slammed shut after him. Every other Gryffindor in the room was whispering to themselves and staring with nervous eyes at Remus's frozen form.

"Finite Incantatum."

Remus fell to the ground, but caught himself with his fists on the ground. He was breathing heavily and he had a couple bruises forming on his own face. James did what he had done for Sirius and yanked him to his feet.

"Now will _you _tell me what happened?"

Remus's lips thinned and he shook his head. He left James and Peter sputtering and started towards the dorms as well. At the bottom he stopped with his back to them. They could see his back moving up and down with his labored breaths. A few seconds later he pulled his wand out, muttered something under his breath, and walked right into Hermione's room.

Lily's hands were back to her cheeks.

Her eyes widened with the last two Marauders in the room stepped in front of her with probing expressions.

"Well?" Prompted James.

Lily, without thinking, squealed, "I think they both might fancy Hermione!"

* * *

Hermione had been sitting on the window seat in her room staring into space. She'd changed into a tank and plaid pajama pants as soon as she'd come up, with every intention of locking her door and turning in early. When her door had flown open then promptly been shut again she'd let out an exasperated sigh.

She turned around slowly and jumped up in shock when a bleeding Remus walked silently to her bed and sat down on the edge facing her. He sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Remus?" She whispered.

His shoulders started shaking, and he refused to look up at her. His knuckles were covered in blood and trembling.

Remus stared down at the floor and when he saw her purple toes step up to him he started crying. Then he felt her tiny hands on top of his large ones and he started crying harder.

"Remus? Tell me," she prompted.

"I lost control. I'm a monster." Punching someone was one thing. Punching a friend was completely different.

Hermione pulled his hands away from his face and gently held his hands in between hers, ignoring the blood.

"You are _not _a monster."

When her fingers reached up to wipe away some of his tears one of his followed to hold her hand to his cheek. He spread his legs out and pulled her so that she was standing between his knees. They were at about eye level.

She wiped at the top of his cheekbone with the pad of her thumb.

"You don't even know what happened, Hermione."

"I don't have to to know that you aren't a monster, Remus Lupin."

He looked up at her and she was relieved to see his green eyes rather than the amber. They weren't quite as deep as Harry's had been. They were brighter. More like spring than emerald.

"You and I were friends, you know?" He gave her a curious look. "In the future. Me and you were friends, and we had a very similar conversation to this once."

Remus pictured himself twenty years in the future. He would be thirty-five and her sixteen. He shuddered.

"I trusted you with my life. I _trust_ you with my life."

He was shocked. Just a week ago she was telling him she needed him and now here she was telling him she trusted him with her life.

"You were the one who taught me how to cast a Patronus. And you always bought me the best books for Christmas. And you always made me hot chocolate when I had nightmares." Hermione smiled at him and gave his cheek another swipe with her thumb. "I always just took a couple sips and then gave you the rest because then you'd give me a genuine smile. I treasured those moments. You rarely smiled." He smiled at her then and she threw her arms around his neck. "That's the one," she whispered. His arms automatically went around her waist and she was pulled even closer to him.

He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. That was new.

She blushed when she realized he could probably hear how fast her heart was beating in her chest.

She pulled away and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. He smiled at the light blush covering her freckled nose and cheeks.

"Can I heal you now?"

He nodded, and she stepped out of his arms to go grab her bag. Over the summer she'd brewed as many healing potions and ointments that she could think of and placed them in a small bag that she'd magically expanded just in case.

Remus was busy mourning the loss of her warmth when she came back and stood in the exact spot she'd been before. She set the bag on his thigh like it was a table and summoned a jar of bruising paste.

"You're lucky nothing is broken, Remus," she said disapprovingly.

She cleaned his hands and face of blood and then handed him the jar to hold open for her. She dipped one of her fingers in the paste and started to gently spread it on the nastiest bruise on his cheek.

Remus couldn't look away from her. She had one hand resting on his shoulder for balance and was leaning forward on her toes. She was nibbling on her bottom lip in concentration.

Remus tentatively reached up and rested his unoccupied hand on the small of her waist.

She continued working like nothing was happening, but internally she was panicking. She couldn't help her pause when she felt his thumb start to smoothe small patterns on her back.

"Remus?" Her voice was shaking,

He was looking at her with an undeniable amount of affection in his gaze.

"No one has ever looked at me like that before."

_You said that out loud, Mione._

Hermione's entire face turned red, but Remus just smiled softly at her and said, "How am I looking at you, Hermione?"

He was looking at her like she was beautiful. Her grip on his shoulder tightened and she teared up.

"How am I looking at you?" He whispered.

She opened her mouth and said so quietly he almost didn't catch it, "Like I'm pretty."

She cringed at how much she sounded like an insecure little girl. Remus frowned and he pulled her closer with the hand that was on her back. He set the paste down on the bed beside him.

"You don't think you're pretty?" Remus asked in disbelief.

She avoided his eyes by turning her head so that she was facing the wall. They were so close, she could feel his breath on her cheek.

"I know I'm not." He sucked in a breath, but she kept on, "Ron always told me he forgot I was a girl. I don't wear make-up or do my hair like other witches. I got called plain a lot, and I never let it bother me because I had more important things to worry about than whether or not anyone thought I was beautiful. But a girl doesn't forget, you know?"

She took a deep breath then with as much courage as she could muster she turned back to Remus. He was frowning up at her.

"Hermione…" he trailed off.

Remus honestly and truly didn't know what to say to her. She was perfect. Big curly hair and all. She definitely wasn't the wizarding world's standard of beauty, but she was Remus's standard. And on top of that he really couldn't understand how anyone would forget Hermione Granger was a girl.

He didn't know if he was physically capable of saying any of this so instead he leaned forward and kissed her.

It was short and chaste, but it was a _dream_.

Remus could've died right there.

When he pulled away, Hermione had her eyes closed. He leaned his forehead against hers and said quietly, "I think you might be the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

When she opened her eyes she smiled at him and said, "You've just stolen my first kiss, Remus Lupin."

He grinned at that and cheekily and said, "Best if I go ahead and steal the second as well then."

He closed the couple inches of distance between them and one of his hands tangled itself in her hair at the back of her head.

When he pulled away he kissed the corner of her mouth then her cheeks and nose, and finally ended on her forehead.

She basically attacked him with a hug and before he knew it, he was on his back on the bed and she was on top of him.

She was giving him a mischievous look and her hair was like curtains on the sides of their faces.

"You know, I was quite famous for my bone-crushing hugs."

Then she followed through with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her nose buried at the side of his neck.

He couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried.

* * *

"What!" James screamed.

Remus and Sirius. Hermione. Remus and Sirius fancying Hermione. Padfoot and Moony. Fighting. Over Hermione.

"James?"

Lily waved a hand in front of his face.

"I think he's shut down his brain function," said Peter with his head cocked to the side.

Sirius and Hermione. Remus and Hermione. Remus and Sirius and Hermione.

James was pretty sure he was having a stroke.

"He's catatonic," said Lily. "James this is a good thing! Two boys fighting over Hermione! I think it's great!" That got him. He unfroze and reeled back like she had slapped him.

"Are you mad! This is terrible!"

Lily smirked. She didn't understand the relationship between James and Hermione, but she knew that if there was one thing that would pull him out of this it was the mention of guys taking interest in her. He was fiercely protective.

"Lily-flower you're beautiful, but that was the dumbest thing you've ever said."

Lily's smirk dropped. She hit him with a pretty intense stinging hex and laughed when he yelped.

"I'd get out of here quick if I were you, Prongs!" Peter yelled over his shoulder as he ran for their dorm. James sprinted after him. James smiled when he could heard Lily's threats follow him all the way up the stairs.

When they got up to the dorm Sirius was laying back in his bed tossing a small ball up in the air and catching it. James's anger from before resurfaced.

James went up to him and snatched the ball from the air.

"Hey!"

"What gives, Pads?"

Sirius sighed and sat up. "Moony has officially lost it. Off the deep end. Completely mad that one."

James rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "What happened?"

Sirius growled and said sarcastically, "Oh nothing! He just accused me of fancying Hermione and wanting her to be my bit on the side!"

"He did what!" James was beyond furious before he paused and thought about it for a moment. Sirius was a drama queen in every sense. "Are you sure that's what happened?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You don't believe me?"

James scratched the back of his head. "Well… Remus isn't one to act like that unprovoked. I feel like something must've happened."

Sirius fell backwards on the bed and threw his arm over his face. His words were a bit muffled. "I may or may not have been hiding the fact that I am seeing Marlene from Hermione."

Now James was just confused. "Why would that prompt Remus to say that?" Then he thought about what Lily said and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Oh Merlin! Lily was right! You do fancy her!"

"I do not!"

"Do to!"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

Peter blushed and whispered, "I don't think it's ridiculous to like Hermione."

James's accusing glare turned on him. "No! Absolutely not! Not all three of you!"

Peter threw his hands up and said carefully said, "I don't fancy her. You know I like Mary. I am just saying it's understandable that someone would like her."

Sirius groaned.

James couldn't take it anymore and threw himself on the bed. After a couple seconds of silence he dropped all anger and said very seriously, "Hermione isn't just one of your girls, Padfoot." He sat up and looked Sirius directly in the eye. "I won't let you hurt her like you've hurt the other ones."

Sirius had no intentions of starting a relationship with Hermione at the moment. She was forever and he wasn't ready for forever. He was 'dating' Marlene as a distraction. Just a bit of fun really. He absolutely couldn't tell that to James though. Sirius gave up any denial.

"If something does happen, I won't break her heart, James."

James studied him for a minute before nodding.

What had Sirius gotten himself into.

* * *

After that night no one spoke about what happened.

It was a silent rule among the five of them, that whatever it was that Remus and Sirius had argued about, wasn't a topic to be broached.

Remus and Hermione had taken to holding hands under the table and sneaking glances at each other. If there was a rare moment where they were completely alone Remus would take the opportunity to snog her senseless. They both liked their lives removed from public scrutiny for different reasons, so they hadnt even needed to talk about whether they wanted to tell people. It wasn't until Remus asked her to the dance that they realized everyone would know what was happening.

The night before Halloween Hermione was in the Room of Requirement with Pandora yet again when Pandora smiled at her knowingly and said, "You and Remus Lupin are a good match."

Hermione had looked up at her startled.

"He's not the perfect match, but he is nearly there."

Hermione's eyes widened and she fell off the pile of junk she'd been balancing on. She landed on the ground with a dull thunk and a groan.

"What do you mean, Pandora?" She asked from the ground.

"The rest you'll figure out eventually. Wouldn't want to mess with the natural course of things." Then she'd let out one of her tinkling laughs and made her way across the room to the pile she'd previously been working on.

Hermione had been grumbling and mumbling to herself under her breath when she pulled herself up and her eye caught on something.

Once she'd noticed it, she couldn't believe she'd ever missed it before.

There was an undeniable pull of dark magic and it sparkled brightly.

Hermione pulled a box from her bag, that she'd spent some time charming with Dumbledore and carefully approached Ravenclaw's artifact.

"Pandora! I found it!"

She used her wand to levitate the diadem carefully into the box before snapping it shut with a hiss. She shoved it far down in her bag and when Pandora showed up Hermione grinned at her.

"So what now, Hermione Granger?"

"Now we have five more."

Hermione laughed when Pandora threw her head back and groaned.

* * *

**BREAK**

**AN: Well tbh… I had planned on a lot more happening in that chapter, but then that end had felt too natural so I will leave it at that. Plus, this is the longest chapter I have written so far! I can't believe I am already over 50,000 words and I have barely scratched the surface of the story. I hope you guys are in it for the long haul. I expect it will take me until the end of summer to finish. **

**So now for more important things...**

**Team Sirius or Team Remus?**

**That is the question. I (clearly) have always been a bit of both. **


	15. A Dance

**AN: I just want to let you know that I am pretty much completely disregarding the known timeline for the first wizarding world. I am changing it so it fits my vision for how my plot will play out. I've done my research, so I know when everything is supposed to happen. I hope you understand my want to change things!**

**Thanks again for the follows and reviews! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: A Dance**

Hermione stared at the date on the prophet. 31 October 1975. She had six years. It seemed like a long time in theory, but she could feel the pressure increasing. Things would start picking up soon, if they weren't already.

The prophet today was wholly innocent and on some scandal at the ministry regarding a married man and a secretary, but all Hermione could look at was the date.

Hermione sighed and set it down.

"Men are pigs!" Exclaimed Marlene from across from her.

Hermione was upset to admit she had grown quite fond of Marlene. She was intelligent, kind, and put Sirius in his place when he needed it.

"Oi! Not all of us," said Sirius from next to her. He was digging into his food, but paused to give Marlene an amused look.

"You most of all, Black!"

Hermione snorted and Sirius looked over at her with an odd expression on his face.

"You doing alright, kitten?"

Hermione startled. Had she been that obvious?

"I am quite alright, thanks Sirius." She looked back down at the paper with a frown.

_October 31_

She reached up and quickly flipped it over.

Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Offended by the prophet?"

She growled out, "Try offended by the date!"

Sirius opened his mouth to ask a question, but before he could say anything Remus slid into the seat beside Hermione. Sirius watched with narrowed eyes as Remus gently ran a hand over the back of her curls affectionately. He could've sworn he also saw his hand reach for Hermione's leg under the table as well.

"Good morning," Remus said joyfully.

That was another thing. Remus wasn't _joyful_.

"Morning, Remus," whispered Hermione. She gave him a small smile that had Sirius sick to his stomach. Him and Moony had had a small talk and agreed to get over their differences, but Remus hadn't mentioned anything about Hermione. He'd just confessed how guilty he felt, and that he hated himself for attacking his friend. Someone who'd been for him again and again which was precisely why Sirius had to suck it up.

"Good morning, Moony," Sirius drawled from across the table.

Remus gave him a curious look before turning to the platters in front of him. He watched as Remus fixed a cup of tea with a half spoonful of sugar and a dash of honey before carefully placing it in front of Hermione. She in turn spread some orange marmalade on a slice of toast and put it on his plate.

"Moony, can't you fix your own toast?" James said around a mouthful of eggs.

Hermione smirked at James, "Would you like me to fix you some as well, Jamie?"

James gave her a begging look and said, "Yes, please."

Hermione laughed and fixed some toast with some strawberry jam.

Her smile dropped when she noticed the floating pumpkins that Dumbledore had charmed to float.

She sighed and finished her cup of tea off.

Her to-do list today involved speaking to Hagrid and then Dumbledore.

"Hermione!"

Hermione poked her head around to look at Lily from a few people down.

"Don't forget to meet us in the fifth year girl's dorm after lunch to get ready!"

Hermione scowled at her.

"Don't give me that face!"

"Hermione, you know it's going take us at least three hours to run a brush through that hair," laughed Dorcas. Hermione reached up and touched her hair.

"I'm aware," she growled.

James and Sirius were snickering across the table. Hermione launched a kick at one of their shins and smirked when Sirius yelped. James just laughed harder.

She threw her bag over her shoulder and stood.

"I'll get there when I get there, Lils." Lily narrowed her eyes, "Worse comes to worse you can cut it all off."

"Oh my! I would never!"

"I have to run to the library now. I'll speak to everyone later!" She squeezed Remus's shoulder and started on her way out of the Great Hall.

The first thing she needed to do was speak to Hagrid.

* * *

Hermione stood in front of Hagrid's hut trying to ignore the barrage of memories assaulting her senses.

She could smell his treacle fudge and peppermint humbugs. Hear phantoms of Harry and Ron explaining the word Mudblood to her for the first time. See ghosts of three friends squeezed under an invisibility cloak and Hagrid's pets. Feel the cobwebs and rough chairs and warmth of fire.

She sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the large door.

She held her breath as she heard his large footsteps echoing behind it.

When the door swung open she couldn't contain her smile.

"Hullo, Hagrid."

The huge man looked shocked to see her. She was mad at herself for not visiting sooner.

She'd smiled at him at the Order meetings, but she was yet to have spoken to him in private.

When it was made clear that he wasn't going to say anything she tilted her head to the side and said, "May I come in?"

He immediately jumped to the side and said, "Oh blimey! Yes. Sorry 'ermione."

That was another thing she'd missed. His West country accent and lilting way he'd said her name.

He walked in and he said jovially, "I've just made some rock cakes, mind you! You like one?"

Hermione took a seat at one of the wooden chairs and shook her head, "No, thank you, Hagrid. I just ate breakfast, but perhaps later."

"Alright, then." He set the plate down and fell down into his oversized and holey armchair. "What can I do ya fer, 'ermione?"

Hermione sighed and pulled out a piece of parchment and quill. "I actually was hoping you could tell me everything you know about basilisks."

Hagrid blanched and gave her a weary look.

"I have read about them, but I was hoping you might have some helpful tips or information. You know more about magical creatures than anyone I know."

Hagrid blushed heavily at the compliment. "Now, lass, you're going to make me cry."

"That wasn't my intention, Hagrid. I just speak the truth." A fact she'd learned her first year at Hogwarts was that flattery got you a long way with Hagrid.

The half-giant cleared his throat and leaned back, "Well, I'm 'fraid there's not much known besides what ya read in the books."

"Yes, roosters."

"Aye."

"Is there anything else you know of that might be of help?"

"I'm guessin' ya know all about their eye thing."

"Yes, of course. In my time, I looked at one through a mirror. I was petrified for a few months."

Hagrid sniffled and said, "So young." He pulled a tablecloth sized handkerchief from his coat and blew his nose. Hermione winced at how loud even just that noise was from him. "It's not fair!"

Hermione stood and reached up to pat him on the shoulder. Even sitting on the chair, he was taller than her.

"There, there, Hagrid! I'm quite alright, now. I got revived as you can see!"

Hagrid wailed and Hermione tried not to laugh. He was just the same as she remembered.

"I missed you, Hagrid."

She was giving him a thankful smile when he finally looked up from behind the handkerchief.

"You have always been a trusted friend."

Hagrid sniffled and said, "Well, that just warms my heart, 'ermione."

Hermione beamed.

"I'm 'fraid all I can do to help ya with the basilisk would be gettin ya some roosters."

"Oh, but Hagrid! That's wonderful!"

He smiled at her.

"Really?"

"Quite! It would be a great help!"

Hagrid puffed up. "I do what I can!"

"Thank you, Hagrid!" She threw her arm around his neck for a quick hug before turning and grabbing her things.

"I suppose we'll be coming a couple days after Christmas. You be sure to let me know if you need anything, Hagrid."

"Come visit more, 'ermione. I love the company."

"Of course."

She smiled and thanked him one more time before making her way out the large door.

* * *

Dumbledore told her he was planning on going after the Gaunt Ring the last week before Christmas.

Hermione was dreading any kind of outing with Dumbledore. He had a tendency to give her threats veiled as riddles that always left her shaken up for a while afterwards.

Hermione had put off going to the girl's dorms long enough. She presently stood in front of her wardrobe staring at the few dresses that Dorea had snuck into her trunk. She was at a complete loss.

She'd owled Dorea at the beginning of the week telling her about the dance, and Dorea had responded and asked if she had a date. Then she had strongly suggested Hermione wear the black sparkly dress reminiscent of 20s muggle fashion. It fell to mid thigh and had a modest neckline, but Hermione had groaned. It was so flashy and attention drawing, and she had no intention of wearing anything with those qualities. Her other two dresses weren't terrible better though. There was a deep purple one made of soft fabric. It parted up the side and had a neckline that made her not too comfortable. The last one was emerald and even shorter than the first. Overall, her options weren't too good.

Dorea must've somehow known about the dance, and done this intentionally, the sneaky snake. Hermione had gathered all the dresses in her arms and sprinted up the steps to the girls dorms, barefoot and mid-panic attack.

The boys, which had been sitting with a view of the stairs, had watched in amusement as Hermione tripped a couple times over the trailing fabric and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Lily Evans! Help me!"

When she'd disappeared behind the door with a slam, they'd all started laughing.

"It seems a school dance might be a tad bit scarier to her than evil wizards," said Peter under his breath.

"I'm not surprised. Kitten isn't exactly the type to worry about the material things in life."

* * *

Meanwhile, Hermione was near tears on the floor of the dorm with four girls surrounding her.

Marlene and Mary were holding up the dresses in awe as Lily hugged Hermione.

"I can't wear these!"

"If you don't, Mary and I sure as hell will!"

Dorcas slapped Marlene's arm and said, "They're Hermione's dresses!"

"With Hermione's permission of course," said Mary with a hopeful expression.

Hermione sniffled and said, "I refuse to go."

Lily frowned. "Remus will probably cry if you tell him you don't want to go."

Hermione scoffed. "He won't cry!"

Lily gave her a look and said, "No. You're right. He'll probably just look at you with his sad green eyes and say, 'if that's what you wish, Hermione. Anything for you, Hermione.' And then he'll spend the rest of the night making sure you have a wonderful time in the common room all whilst thinking about how it was the first time he would have a date to a dance, and she _still_ didn't want to go with him."

Hermione gave her a withering look and whispered, "You're not playing fair."

"Yes, well, telling Remus yes and then backing out isn't fair."

Hermione started sniffling again. "But, Lils…" She looked at the other girls to make sure they were distracted before leaning forward to say, "None of them have long sleeves."

Lily smiled and said, "Is that all you're worried about?"

Hermione frowned at the frivolous way she asked the question, "Of course, that's what I am worried about, you twat!"

Lily blushed at the curse, but then smiled gently. "Hermione, you know I can fix that with a simple charm?"

This time it was Hermione's turn to blush.

"I didn't…"

Lily patted her arm affectionately.

"Marlene! Mary! The lady would like some sleeves on the black dress."

Hermione's eyes widened and she paled. "The black one?"

Lily just smirked and said, "Definitely the black one."

Mary held it up and Dorcas started giggling. "Bloody hell, Hermione. Remus is going to piss himself!"

Hermione groaned.

* * *

Hermione was shifting nervously in front of the mirror in the girl's mirror. The dress was now long sleeved with a modest neckline and a mid-thigh hemline. She was glad it was rather loose fitting, and in the style of a shift dress. She'd talked to the girls into leaving her hair be, but they'd held her down in order to apply light mascara and lip gloss. She was thankful her hair and face were natural looking, but the dress was nicer than anything she'd ever worn.

Mary came up behind her in Hermione's emerald dress and beamed.

"You look beautiful, Hermione."

"You as well, Mary."

Mary smiled and looped her arm through Hermione's and started pulling her towards the door. Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene had already gone down.

Hermione was stumbling and scowling by the time she made it downstairs, and sitting there waiting at the bottom was Remus.

Remus looked up when he heard someone stumbling down the stairs. He had borrowed a pair of Sirius's dress robes and he was extremely uncomfortable. He felt totally out of his element and the first thing he noticed when he looked up at his date, was that she was feeling the same.

She looked beautiful. He found himself glad she hadn't done anything to her hair.

He beamed up at her with a small blush on his face and immediately jumped to his feet.

"Hermione, you are a vision."

He reached for her hand and she stepped away from Mary to wrap her arms around his waist.

"Remus, you look dashing."

He kissed the side of her head before pulling back and offering his arm.

He was still blushing by the time they made it to the Great Hall. Hermione was immediately relieved upon the realization that she was dressed far more casually than nearly every girl in attendance. Most had taken the occasion to wear large ball gowns and fitted dress robes.

Remus led Hermione to a table where Peter, James, and Sirius were leaning together and whispering like mad.

"What are they up to?"

Remus smiled down at her and said, "My guess is distracting McGonagall long enough to spike the punch."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and walked up to them.

"You lot should do your best to keep out of trouble."

The boys looked up at her with guilty expressions, and Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. Hermione's gaze zeroed in on James. James whose fate she had been thinking about all day. James who she had come to consider as her brother, the same way she had done for his orphaned son in the future. He was holding a bottle that must be filled with fire-whiskey, but was glamoured to look like a bottle of pumpkin juice. Not very original, but she could use a drink,

She ignored the way Sirius looked up and down her form and snatched the glamoured bottle from James's hand. She took a few deep gulps, ignored the burn, and handed it back to James. She'd indulged only once before at the taunting of Harry and Ron.

"I'll distract Mcgonagall. You'll get caught otherwise."

All the boys were staring at her with both concern and awe. They'd all noticed how she'd been off all day, and Sirius hadn't forgotten the way she'd reacted to the date on the prophet.

Hermione ignored their looks again and turned on her heel towards the refreshments table where McGonagall was keeping a keen eye on the large punch bowl.

She walked up to the woman with a purpose and when she stopped to the side of her she was smiling pleasantly.

"Hullo, Professor."

McGonagall smiled kindly at her and nodded.

"I was wondering if you'd quite mind answering a few questions for me on the current legislation on Werewolves and other creatures?" McGonagall gave her a questioning gaze and angled her body more towards her and away from the punch bowl. Hermione used all of her willpower not to glance over the woman's shoulder where she knew the boys must be sneaking up.

"And what are these questions, dear girl?"

Hermione hadn't gotten that far. It was the first question she'd thought of as she'd walked over.

"Well…" Hermione blushed, "You see. I care very much for a certain werewolf, and I am concerned for his welfare come graduation." McGonagall gave her a sad look.

"Yes, dear. I had noticed that certain attachment. Sadly, there isn't much to say. They must register, and the job opportunities are slim."

Hermione nodded in defeat. Now that she'd started this conversation she was quite involved. "Yes as I thought. Of course, I plan on making changes in the government once I am not so… occupied, but I am afraid once that time comes I will no longer be able to do so."

McGonagall balked. She knew what the girl was implying. "I believe if anyone has the ability to survive this war, no matter their task, it would be you, Miss Granger."

Hermione smiled. "I would hope so."

"Hope is the key ingredient to that result, my dear."

Hermione opened her mouth to agree when she felt a light hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Remus looking at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Care to dance, Miss Granger."

It wasn't until Hermione giggled that she realized that she was feeling a little warm after her quick and supple intake of whiskey.

Hermione dropped into a weak curtsy and took his hand. "It should be my honor, Mr. Lupin."

He pulled her to the dance floor with far more grace than she had ever seen from him, and despite the fact that the music coming from the band at the front wasn't playing a slow song, pulled her close to sway gently.

"You are a marvel, Hermione."

Hermione smirked and said, "I'll be using this as an excuse to order them around for months."

Remus laughed and pulled her closer, "I have to admit, I was surprised to see you down as much fire whiskey as you did."

Hermione sighed and rested her cheek on his chest. "Yes, well, Halloween is not a happy day for me."

"Will you tell me about it?"

"Not yet," she whispered.

He sighed and she felt him nod against the top of her head.

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

She stepped back to look up at him. She'd been thinking about this all day also. She needed to talk about it, but she really, _really_, didn't want to. This was part of the reason she'd had so much to drink.

"I'm afraid if you date me, Remus, you'll be tying yourself to a sinking ship." She said quietly. He was looking down at her with a frown on his face.

"I was sent here with a purpose." She blinked rapidly. She hated how much she understood Harry's motives in pushing people away now.

_It saves people pain._

_That's rubbish, Harry._

She shook her head to clear the voices and continued, "I shouldn't have let you kiss me."

He was frozen now. Holding his breath and holding _her_ completely still in the middle of the dance floor.

"By letting you kiss me, I'm afraid I have led you on." She tried to pull away, but his grip was like iron. "I am not meant to survive. I'm like a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle box."

"Hermione, you aren't making sense."

She whispered, "I'm going to die, Remus."

This was the one thing she was sure of in this time. It would either be at the hand of Voldemort or sometime before then.

"I'm going to die, and you are tying yourself to me."

"You won't, Hermione!"

His eyes were amber and he was squeezing her so tightly it hurt. She hardly noticed.

"I can't make any promises, Remus. I can't say I would choose you over winning the war. I have a purpose, and I will finish my job at any costs."

"I'll take the risks, Hermione. Let us help."

"No," she said in a resolute voice.

He shook her and said, "You don't get to make this decision alone. I'll take the risks, Hermione. If you're tying yourself to a werewolf, I am tying myself to a dead woman. I'm making the decision."

Hermione hadn't expected him to fight her on it.

Maybe it was that surprise or the warmth coming from her drink. Maybe it was the idea that she wasn't going to have to do this alone.

She fell forward and cried into his shirt.

"Are you sure?"

His hold loosened and he gently wrapped her in his arms.

"More sure, than I have ever been."

She simply nodded into his shirt.

* * *

They danced through at least five more songs before someone pulled Remus away from her and a smug Sirius was standing in front of her. He swept her away before she could even say anything.

"You look especially beautiful tonight, kitten."

"Thanks, Sirius." She smirked up at him and said, "You look acceptable."

He gasped dramatically before reaching into the pocket of his robes and holding out a flask.

"Care for a little more liquid courage? You're going to need it when you dance with James. He's a fright."

She laughed and shook her head. "I think I'll manage."

He shrugged took a sip himself, and then starting spinning her in circles.

"Oh, Merlin! I believe you are a fright, Sirius!"

He slowed then and pulled her close when a slow song started.

He looked down at her with a serious expression.

"I saw you and Moony seemed to be having an intense talk earlier, and now your pretty face is all flushed like you've just had a good cry."

She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. She'd finally convinced Remus to tell her who the fight was with, though he didn't reveal any of the details.

"Everything's fine, Sirius."

He frowned at her and tucked a curl behind her hair, "I like that you kept your hair all wild and natural like normal. I love it this way. A fierce little lioness."

She blushed and looked away. It was then that she realized how close they were standing. She could see Remus leading a laughing Lily across the floor a ways away.

"Don't worry. Moony isn't looking, so feel free to ravage me."

She slapped his arm and yelled, "I will do no such thing."

"Oh, right! Only in my dreams."

Hermione laughed and looked up at him again. "Not even in your dreams, Sirius."

He smiled down at her with a tender expression. "Pity."

Next it was James who came up and stole her away. He led her around dramatically and with much fanfare.

He sang the words to the song loudly, and she finally left him with a mild headache and sore feet. She was heading to the chairs at the edge of the room when she was stopped yet again.

Peter jumped in front of her with a shy expression. She smiled indulgently and let him lead her in a sweet but awkward dance.

Then after that she turned everyone away and slunk into a chair partially hidden in the corner. She'd only had a few minutes of peace when someone sank gracefully into the seat beside her.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

She looked up in surprise at a miserable Severus. She'd continued to partner with him in Potions with the reason that they worked really well together. They hardly spoke, but he'd stopped glaring at her and had moved on to looking anywhere but at her. She'd say it was an improvement.

"Have you apologized?"

"Profusely. On my knees and otherwise."

Hermione sighed. "Was it in private or public?"

"Private, of course! I have no death wishes." Hermione looked at him sadly.

"I believe that is your problem, Severus. She has never been ashamed of you or your house. She's stood up for you over and over again, and you won't even publicly apologize for calling her the most derogatory term."

He looked up at her again, and her eyebrows flew up in surprise. "I think you forget, I am _not _a Gryffindor, Miss Granger."

Then he left in a flurry of dress robes.

* * *

Later that night Hermione stood guard at her door and for the first time since July, she told the boys that she would be sleeping on her own. It was a decision she'd made in light of the new thing with Remus. It made her nervous. At first all boys had protested until she looked James dead in the eye and said, "Remus and I are dating now. How do you feel about us sleeping in the same bed?"

James had absolutely lost it. Sirius had gave Remus a shocked expression. Peter had shrugged and started up the stairs. Remus had just looked at her with red cheeks and a giddy smile.

Hermione shut the door to complete pandemonium and collapsed in bed still in her dress.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! **


	16. Gaunt Ring

**AN: WOW longest chapter yet!**

**Sorry about the two week sabbatical! I just finished finals week which was quite stressful and didn't have time to sit down and write anything of quality. BUT this means SUMMER! Which means I will be updating frequently! **

**So fun reading everyone's reviews about which team they were on! Sadly I already have that plot point figured out and am dead set on how it will play out. Sorry if this is offensive, but I laughed at the review that said they did not like the marauders. I am afraid you have decided to read the wrong fic my friend**

**I did some reading on the Gaunt Shack and decided to take a new spin on it. I imagine it would be very eerie and terrifying and I tried to portray that as best I could. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything. **

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Gaunt Ring**

Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were sitting in a circle on the ground of the dorm in the middle of the night with more concentration and focus in their expressions than ever seen before, and sitting right between them on the stone floor, was something that they had been working on and perfecting for ages.

"The Marauder's Map. I like it," said James.

"Try it out, James," Remus urged.

They all held their breaths as James held his wand out and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Grins slowly appeared on their faces as ink seemed to bleed onto the page and spread out to form the map of Hogwarts. They started cheering and laughing. James's expression dropped for a moment and turned into a frown.

"Does anyone know why Hermione isn't in her room?"

Sirius and Remus leaned forward with widened eyes then all four boys began to simultaneously scan the map.

"Maybe the map is wrong!" Tried Peter.

"It's not wrong! I spent months on those charms," said Remus.

"But it's after curfew! Where would she be?"

"I'm going to go check her room," groaned James.

"I'm not wrong!"

James was just about to open the door when Peter yelled, "Wait! There she is!"

All four heads appeared over the map and followed Peter's finger to her name slowly making her way slowly down a seventh floor corridor.

"What in bloody hell is she doing up there?"

"Maybe she was sending a letter?" Peter said hopefully. James scrunched up his nose.

"At one in the morning?"

"And by herself!" Yelled Sirius.

Remus frowned. She was in the same corridor as the Room of Requirement which couldn't be a coincidence.

"I'm going to go walk with her. She shouldn't be by herself after what happened with those Slytherins," said Remus quietly. James nodded in agreement before he realized that that meant Remus would be alone with Hermione.

"Oi! I'm coming with you!"

Before James could follow him out the dorm Remus hit him with a jelly leg jinx and sprinted towards where they had seen her.

* * *

Hermione had spent the last couple hours perfecting her latest creation. Galleons that you could send messages through using the Protean charm. She had spent forever reading everything she could find on them, and then she'd altered them slightly so the messages could be sent both ways rather than having one master coin. She'd created multiple sets and wasn't quite sure who she would be giving them to besides Remus, but knew that they would come in handy eventually. She'd left the Room of Requirement with the coins packaged carefully with their partners in her bag and Clio tucked in her arms. The kitten had been awfully pissy lately, and Hermione assumed it was because she hadn't left Hermione's room.

She'd barely made it to the stairs when she heard the noises of someone sprinting up the stone steps.

She ducked behind an alcove and hid behind a tapestry.

When the huffing made its appearance a few feet away she quietly poked her head out and sighed in relief at her very flushed and rumpled boyfriend.

"Remus?" She whispered.

His head swung around to look at her and a relieved look came across his face.

He smiled and stepped up to her.

She looked rather adorable with her huge jumper, curl escaping ponytail, and a small kitten in her arms.

"Hermione, you shouldn't be out by yourself at night."

He reached out and gently pulled her from behind the tapestry and into his arms.

"What are you doing back there?" He asked with a smile. She tucked a curl behind her ear and hugged Clio closer to her.

"I heard running footsteps. You scared me." He grimaced and she stood on her toes to kiss his cheek before she realized something with a frown. "How did you know where I was?"

Remus flushed and attempted to look anywhere but at her which he only did when he was trying to keep something from her.

Then she realized what it could be and a slow smirk made its way across her face.

"You lot didn't happen to make a certain map did you? One that will help you get up to 'no good'?"

Remus's eyes widened and she snorted.

"How did you…"

Remus forgot they were friends in the future, but if she knew about the map they must've been pretty close.

"Just how close were we in the future, Hermione?"

Hermione smiled secretively at him and wrapped her hand around his elbow.

"A story for another time, but for now I am tired."

Remus sighed and kissed the top of her head. He was compiling a mental tally of all the times she'd said 'later' or something along those lines in regards to one of his questions. Just in the last month since halloween she'd said it nearly sixty times and he was sure he was going to go absolutely mental if he kept it up, but it was compulsory at this point.

"Did you just finish the map?"

Remus pulled her closer as they started their walk back to Gryffindor tower.

"Yes tonight actually. Of course, the first thing James noticed about it was the fact that you weren't in your bed." Remus looked down at her with an expectant look. "He is very protective."

Hermione huffed.

He nudged her and said, "You shouldn't be out by yourself. What were you doing there anyway?"

Hermione scowled at him. "I was working on something."

"Right," he sighed. Hermione could hear his frustration.

"Actually I made one set for you, but if you don't want it then I won't bother," she grumbled.

Remus stopped walking and grabbed her shoulders to turn her towards him. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I know you can't tell me everything. It's hard not to get frustrated when one moment yout tell me you trust me with your life and then the next you won't even tell me where you're going."

She looked up at him and all her frustration melted off her face. She just looked sad.

Hermione shuffled Clio under one arm. The kitten meowed grouchily, but Hermione ignored her and reached into her bag, pulled out one of the small packages, and slowly unwrapped it.

"I made these with the Protean charm," she whispered. "You can leave messages for each other. They warm up when the other person has altered them."

She held one out to him and Remus carefully took it and inspected it. "That's Seventh Year magic…"

Hermione gave him a withering look. He tucked it into his pocket and gently cupped her face with one of his hands.

"Thank you, Hermione. I love it."

She smiled shyly up at him, and he bent over to lean his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you everything. I wish I could," she whispered.

"I'm sorry I get so frustrated."

He was about to lean down the rest of the way to kiss her when someone burst out from seemingly nowhere and jumped between the two.

"Stop defiling Hermione, you miscreant!"

Hermione threw her arms up when she recognized the messy hair and dramatic voice of none other than James.

"Merlin, James! He wasn't defiling me!" She shoved his shoulder and James spun around to look her over like Remus would actually hurt her. "And where did you even learn the word miscreant?"

James stopped his inspection and smiled dreamily. "Lily's been calling me one lately."

Hermione and Remus both burst out laughing before Hermione remembered where they were.

"Oh no! Filch is going to catch us if we don't hurry back."

The walk back was made extremely difficult as James forced them to all three squeeze underneath his invisibility cloak, but also refused to allow Remus and Hermione to touch.

* * *

The next few days it became apparent at Hogwarts that Christmas was coming up. Sprigs of enchanted Mistletoe were popping up all over the castle and forcing people to kiss in order to escape. Remus had been caught three times already and she was starting to think he was doing it on purpose, but she didn't mind too much.

She was relieved after the dance to discover that not many people paid close attention to Remus and Hermione's relationship.

The Saturday before the last week before break she received a note from Dumbledore at lunch saying that they would be retrieving Marvolo Gaunt's ring after dinner.

The note simply said:

_Miss Granger. _

_We will leave after dinner to retrieve the artifact. Be discreet. Password is Pepper Imps._

_Albus._

She'd looked to her left to find Remus staring directly at her.

"I need to talk to you after lunch," she whispered. He reached over and squeezed her hand, and she folded the note up to put in her pocket.

After lunch he dragged her to an empty classroom and sat down on the edge of the desk.

"So, what was that note about?"

Hermione sighed and pulled out the note for him to read.

He did so quickly and looked up at her.

"Can you tell me what the artifact is?"

Her lips thinned and she shook her head.

"Will it be dangerous?"

She thought about all the dark protective charms that went into keeping people from the other Horcruxes she'd gone after with Harry and Ron. Then she thought about how Dumbledore died from a curse he came into contact with retrieving the ring in the future.

She nodded grimly.

"Where exactly are you going?"

"I don't know."

"When will you be back?"

Hermione sighed, "I don't know."

She chanced a glance up at Remus and saw his eyes were turning that shade of amber that never meant good things.

"I don't suppose I will be able to come with you?"

Hermione's eyes watered and she shook her head again.

Slowly his eyes turned green again and he reached out for her. She immediately melted into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I wish I didn't have to. I wish you could come. I wish we were just normal students getting caught under the mistletoe."

She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the steady drum of his heartbeat.

"I wish those things too," he whispered.

He reached down and pulled her face up so that he could look at her. He wiped at the single tear that had made its way down her cheek and reached down to capture her lips with his. She responded immediately, and when his hands reached down and ghosted across her ribs she shuddered and gasped. He took advantage and slid his tongue in between her lips to meet with hers.

She tasted like pumpkin juice and the salt from her tears, but he was seeing stars. He pulled away when he needed to breathe and slowly pressed three more gentle kisses on her lips. If she pressed any closer to him he wouldn't be able to let her leave.

When he finally spoke again he sounded breathless which made sense because he could barely ever breathe around her. She was perfect.

"Please come get me when you come back. First thing."

She leaned up and kissed him one more time. Her fingers were playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck and he could feel goosebumps spread across his skin.

"Okay," she whispered. He nudged her nose with his.

"First thing, Hermione. I don't care how late it is, or what's happening, come to me _first_."

She swiped her thumb across the top of his cheek and said, "I promise."

* * *

Hermione had prepared everything she needed in her magically expanded bag and dressed in loose trousers and a thick black jumper.

She'd shoved her cloak deep in the bag to avoid suspicion and walked calmly to dinner. She sat in between Remus and Peter as usual and forced herself to eat as much as she could stomach which was barely a few bites.

She didn't speak for any of dinner because she was busy trying to soothe her nerves. A year ago she wouldn't have had any nerves. She was a machine. Inhuman almost. Built for missions and curses and battles, but now she'd had nearly seven months of being free of that kind of mentality. She'd let it go too easily, and now she needed it back.

When she looked up and saw that Dumbledore wasn't in his seat she jumped to her feet.

"I have to go."

All the boys, Marlene, and Lily looked up at her with surprise.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked around a mouthful of food. Hermione cursed herself.

_Be discreet. _

She flinched and avoided Sirius's imploring look.

"I have a meeting with Dumbledore."

"_Professor_ Dumbledore."

Hermione gave Lily a humoring smile, but it came across a little pained. "Right. Professor Dumbledore."

Sirius and James narrowed their eyes.

"Anyway, I've got to go."

She finally turned and looked at Remus who was staring determinately at his plate. She stared at him for a few moments, just wanting to catch his eye for some reassurance. Just a glance of his warm eyes to settle her nerves, but he wouldn't look up.

"Right. Okay. I'll see you lot later."

She hurried out of the Great Hall and suddenly all eyes were on Remus.

"What was that about, Moony?" James asked.

"Nothing. She just has a meeting." Remus looked up and met Lily's knowing gaze.

Lily had a feeling what this _meeting_ entailed, and from the look on Remus's face it must be pretty dangerous. She frowned at him and he nodded. Everyone around them was getting suspicious at the silent conversation that seemed to be happening.

Lily shook herself and looked around, "Hermione has monthly meetings with the Headmaster to see how she is adjusting. She told me about it last month. I thought you half-wits knew."

She made a show of rolling her eyes and returning to her meal.

Marlene smiled and said, "Hermione's a big girl, you lot shouldn't worry so much!"

Peter nodded his affirmative and everyone else reluctantly went back to their meals.

* * *

"Pepper Imps," Hermione whispered at the bottom of Dumbledore's stairs.

She quickly made her way up the coiling stairs and into his office. Dumbledore was waiting for her at the top with his standard deep violet cloak and twinkling eyes.

"Miss Granger. How has your evening been?"

Hermione shook her head, "Sorry, Albus, I am not in the mood for pleasantries. May we go? I'd rather get this over with as quickly as possible."

Dumbledore nodded solemnly and held out his elbow.

Hermione reluctantly took it and immediately felt the nauseous pull of apparition.

They landed with a jolt in a dark and snow covered forest.

It was windy and the eerie glow of the moon was peeking out barely through the foliage.

"You can apparate in and out of Hogwarts?"

Dumbledore tapped his nose and said, "Perks of being Headmaster, Miss Granger."

He then started to make his way through the forest and Hermione shivered. She quickly pulled her cloak from her bag and threw it on before following him.

The only noises were the whistlings of the harsh wind and crunches from the snow underfoot.

They had barely walked a few minutes when they came upon a clearing in the woods. Right in the middle was a dilapidated and rotting shack.

Hermione could feel the whispers of dark magic.

"The Gaunt Shack," she whispered.

"Quite."

_Dumbledore gets cursed in there. Be careful, Mione. _

She was starting to consider Harry's voice a spirit guide. It helped her not miss him as much which was definitely an unhealthy coping mechanism, but it was the only one she could manage.

Hermione paused and grabbed Dumbledore's elbow.

He tilted his head to the side in acknowledgement.

"Do _not _touch the ring, Albus. Whatever you do, you can't touch it."

He turned fully and looked down at her from the bottom of his half moon spectacles.

"I should hope, in my old age, that I have learned the virtue of restraint."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Yes. I should hope so too." She let go and started forward, "For your own sake."

She stopped when she began to feel the soft buzz of powerful enchantments. The stones of the shack were crumbling and she could hear hissing of half formed words in the air.

Dumbledore raised his wand and began to murmur spells under his breath.

She shivered.

Voldemort murdered his father and grandparents to create the artifact currently hiding somewhere in this shack. Hermione stared up at the cobbles and collapsing roof in trepidation.

When the hissing stopped she looked over at Dumbledore to seem him reaching for the door.

As soon as he touched it, it fell right off its rusty hinges and collapsed on the ground with a loud crack.

Hermione shivered and wearily stepped through the archway, closely followed by Dumbledore.

The shack was empty save a single chair, and Hermione took a moment to analyze her surroundings. Her gaze landed on the cracked wood of the floor beneath her feet.

"The floorboards," she whispered.

"Indeed," Dumbledore said.

The set about levitating the floorboards up one by one and placing them in the corner.

Hermione gasped when she removed one of the floorboards and the top of a golden box was revealed.

The whispers returned then full force as if the piece of Voldemort's soul could sense a hostile presence.

Words hissed at her and she resisted the urge to clap her hands over ears.

_You're just a weapon. _

_You will never save them._

_The boy will die!_

She ignored them and levitated the box from the floor and it dropped to the ground in front of her. She was about to open it when Harry's voice stopped her.

_It's your fault. We're all dead and it's your fault. You were supposed to save us. _

Her wand hand shook and she squeezed her eyes shut.

With her eyes shut she missed Dumbledore advancing on the box. She missed the way his hand reached for the lid. How he opened it. How his hands shook as he took the ring in his hands, and slid it on one of his fingers. He pulled the stone from the setting.

_It's not me, Mione!_

Hermione's eyes snapped open and she gasped and knocked the ring off his finger and out of his grasp, but it was too late.

"No!"

She watched in horror as the tips of his fingers began to blacken.

"I told you! I told you not to touch it!" She screeched in terror. Hermione knew what this curse did. He would die!

She quickly pulled a box designed the same as the one she'd created for the diadem and put the ring in it. She was so frenzied she hadn't noticed the missing stone. She grabbed Dumbledore by his elbow and pulled him out the door and into the snow. The whispers followed her and Dumbledore was staring frozenly at his fisted and blackening hand.

"Apparate us to Hogwarts!"

He didn't move an inch so she shook him.

"Dumbledore! Quickly! We have to stop the spread!"

He looked up at her and his hand released the stone which fell into the snow between them. Hermione's eyes widened and her eyes darted down at her bag like she could see the ring.

"You…"

His eyes turned to hers and she watched as his expression filled with shame. Hermione couldn't believe it. She could see the sign of the Deathly Hallows just peeking out on the surface.

"The Resurrection Stone," she said in shock.

"Ariana. It said I could see her."

Hermione's eyes watered, and she wished she could have taken a moment to process, but one look at his decaying fingers stopped that.

She reached down, snatched the stone, and shook Albus for the second time that night.

"We have to go!"

He nodded down at her solemnly and grasped her elbow.

Hermione stumbled when they landed and as soon as she had her footing she ran off in the direction of the door.

"Wait here!"

She sprinted through the halls as fast as she could. She started in the direction of the hospital wing but skidded to a stop when Harry's voice returned.

_Get the potions master._

Hermione spun and started to make her way down the stairs towards the dungeons as fast as she could. At one point she fell and tore her knees on the stone floor, but she immediately jumped up and continued her journey.

The cloak was billowing behind her, and once she made it to his classroom she knocked loudly.

"Professor Slughorn!" She yelled.

She continued to knock until a rumpled looking Slughorn opened the door.

"Miss Granger! What on earth is going on! It is quite late."

Hermione gestured and said breathlessly, "It's Dumbledore. He needs you in his office as quickly as you can manage." Slughorn startled.

"I'm sorry? Is everything alright?"

"No! Please hurry!"

Slughorn seemed to understand the urgency finally and she made to follow him as he began to head up, but he stopped her.

"Perhaps you should go to bed, Miss Granger. It is quite late, and I will refrain from taking points for being out past curfew if you make haste to your own dormitories. I will head towards the Headmaster's office now."

"But…"

"I will not hear it, Miss Granger." Then he was off.

Hermione released a sigh and let her weight fall against the closed door. Her knees were shaking and she was having trouble catching her breath. She turned and pressed her forehead against the cool wood of the door and tried to take deep breaths.

Dumbledore was going to die, and even worse, he was going to die in the exact same way he died in her time. She could've prevented it if she had just done something slightly different. Maybe if she'd told him exactly why he couldn't touch the ring. Maybe if she had insisted she go on her own rather than asking for his help. Maybe if she hadn't let the false words of Voldemort's protective spells effect her so much. If she couldn't save Dumbledore than who else will she not be able to save?

Hermione felt the signs of impending tears and took a deep breath. She pushed herself off the door and turned around to start towards Gryffindor tower, but she fell back against the door when she noticed the tall lanky form standing right in front of her.

A boy in Slytherin robes with a prefects badge attached to his robes was staring at her from a few feet away. Her eyes widened at the silvery blonde hair that stopped at the shoulders and pale, nearly translucent skin. When she met the sleet grey eyes of Lucius Malfoy she pushed herself even further against the door.

He cocked his head to the side at her defensive stance, and she began to feel the slimy proddings of Legilimency in her mind.

She promptly shut him out and narrowed her eyes.

His eyebrows twitched at her display of Occlumency and he gave her a calculating stare.

He was the near spitting image of Draco Malfoy.

"Quite impressive display." His voice was slick and aristocratic.

Hermione wrapped her cloak tighter around herself and it was then that she realized she had the stone still clutched tightly in her fist.

She tried not to let any fear show on her face as she raised her chin.

"Not sure I am aware what you're talking about."

She felt him again and shoved him quite violently from her mind. He smirked.

"No denying it now, Miss…" She narrowed her eyes.

"Granger." He opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything she said, "And I don't appreciate the unwarranted mental assaults, Lucius Malfoy."

His sharp expression turned even more calculating, "What secrets do you have in there, Granger?" His eyes roved up and down her form leisurely before returning to her eyes. "You're bleeding." With that he spun on his heel and started in the direction of the dungeons.

Hermione looked down and saw that both of sides of her trousers had holes in the knees.

She sighed and started her walk up to Gryffindor tower.

She had to pause when she realized that despite the fact that he was obviously a prefect, and she was obviously out past curfew, he hadn't taken points. She shivered and by the time she made it to the Common Room she was shaking.

She was once again stopped when she saw a form slumped against the wall right next to the portrait hole.

"Sirius?" She whispered.

Sirius had come back from a late night snack in the kitchens when he'd found himself boxed in by an invisible force. He'd groaned when he'd looked up and seen the mistletoe, and he ended up resigning himself to waiting there all night until Marlene woke up and found his sorry arse on the floor of the common room.

To say he was surprised when he woke up to none other than Hermione standing by the portrait hole at near two in the morning was an understatement. Her hair, which had been pulled back in a braid down her back at dinner, was now bursting, and her nose and cheeks were red like she'd either been out in the cold too long or had been crying. She was wearing an outdoor cloak and her trousers had holes in the knees. The skin there was ripped up and bleeding. Both of her hands were in fists, one of them around her wand. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Why do you look like you've just come back from a battle, kitten?"

Hermione startled and looked down at herself. Her brain felt like it had been put in a mixing bowl and scrambled, but she searched herself for a good excuse.

"Oh I um… I went on a walk to clear my head." She shut her eyes tightly for a moment and opened them to Sirius's concerned expression. "I fell. Scraped my knees."

_You're a terrible liar._

"You know, you've got to be the worst liar I know, kitten."

Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes with her white knuckles. He watched her carefully and decided an interrogation was not what she needed at the moment.

"Mind helping a friend out, so I can go to bed?"

"Oh sure," she whispered and without thinking she stepped closer and held her hand out to help him up.

"Hermione, no!"

She startled at his yell and tried to step away, but she was stopped by an invisible barrier that she had become familiar with in the past week. She wearily looked at the ceiling and at the sight of mistletoe surprised both herself and Sirius by immediately bursting into the bout of tears that she had been holding back since she'd opened her eyes to Dumbledore wearing that ring.

"I'm so- sorry, Sirius." She looked down at his shoes and covered her face with her hands, "Marlene! Remus! Oh- oh god." Her words were broken up by sobs and Sirius's eyes widened as he jumped to his feet.

"Hermione! Stop! I'm sorry I yelled at you, okay?" That just made her sob harder.

"I shouldn't have stepped into it! I could've gotten, Marlene!"

"Kitten, listen to me." His hands landed on her shoulders. "Don't panic, okay? It's just mistletoe."

Her sobs didn't slow, so he destroyed all the boundaries he'd been trying to maintain since Halloween and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm supposed to talk to Remus right now. He's waiting for me." She said into his t-shirt. He sighed and pushed his nose against the tops of her curls. She smelled like evergreens and cinnamon.

"It's just a kiss. It doesn't have to mean anything." He whispered. A small part of him knew he was trying to convince himself more than her, but he pushed that aside. "We don't even have to tell them if you don't want to."

Hermione pushed away and looked at him through her lashes. She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks, "But, Sirius, if we don't tell them then that means it _meant_ something."

Sirius leaned down and kissed her before she could stop him. He felt his entire body get warm and an erratic, almost painful feeling settled in his chest. It was like stars were exploding in his heart, and he had never felt anything like it. He didn't even give her time to react before he pulled away and immediately took two steps back from her.

Her eyes were wide and she looked scared and he didn't want to try to decipher what that meant, so he turned his back to her and took a few deep breaths.

Something he knew about himself was that he had quite the addictive personality. Firewhiskey, sex, and pranks to name a few. And whatever that exploding feeling was in his chest, it had him longing for another taste.

"Don't tell them, kitten," he said quietly. Then he used all his willpower to walk away from her and up to his dorm.

It wasn't until Hermione heard his door shut, that she let the tears return.

_I don't care how late it is, or what's happening, come to me first._

Remus.

She could feel the walls closing in on her. Panicking she ran up the stairs to the boys dorm and silenced her footsteps as she quietly shut the door. Sirius, James, and Peter had their curtains shut tight, but Remus's were open a crack like he'd been waiting for her.

She quietly slid through the curtains and before she could even kick off her shoes she felt his arms circle her waist and pull her against his chest.

"Hermione…" he said her name quietly and like a sigh of relief which had her sobbing all over again. "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about you." He let go briefly to reach out and pull the curtain shut and cast a silencing charm on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Hermione sobbed into his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"Hermione, it's okay I forgive you for keeping your secrets. I understand, okay? I'm just glad you're safe now."

"Can I stay, please?" She whispered.

He kissed the top of her head, "Of course."

Hermione sniffled against his shirt and pulled away to take her bag and shoes off. The stone was pressing against the palm of her hand and she reluctantly stuck it deep in her trousers pocket.

Once she was settled Remus pulled her back so that her cheek was resting next to his on the pillow.

She felt immeasurably guilty as Remus held her through her panic attack.

Dumbledore was dying, Lucius Malfoy knew about her Occlumency, and the Resurrection Stone was resting in her own trouser pocket, but all she could think about was what Sirius had said to her as he'd left her in the common room.

_But, Sirius, if we don't tell them then that means it meant something._

_Don't tell them, kitten._

* * *

**AN: I KNOW I KNOW don't kill me, but this scene was one of the first ones I imagined and wrote when I first decided to write this fic. And it was inevitable she wouldn't be able to save everyone in this timeline**

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Thanks as usual for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**Recommend me your favorite Sirimione fics please!**


	17. Burdens

**AN: I know! I am working fast right now! These past couple of chapters have been exciting to write and it will be like this for the remainder of the story for me. I finally feel like I am past the exposition and have entered into some rising action ammiright**

**260 followers! That's crazy! Can't believe there are so many people that want to see where this story is going. Honestly, blows my mind. **

**So in response to the review about her not telling dumbledore why specifically he couldn't touch the ring- I thought about that too before I wrote it like why wouldn't she just tell him because she's been working as full disclosure thus far, but her one line has been how exactly people will die. I also seriously doubt dumbledore would have heeded her warning anyway. the hallows are something he has been seeking out for the majority of his life. He wouldn't have been able to resist. At least this is my interpretation.**

**Also for everyone commenting and begging me to make this a Remus story... well I think you will understand more the direction I am going and my reasons as we get further into the meat of the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Burdens**

Hermione woke up Sunday morning under the warmth of a thick Hogwarts comforter and to a hand rubbing gentle circles along her spine. For a moment, she felt pleasant and content and then the memories of what happened the night before returned and a sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She turned her cheek to press her forehead against Remus's chest and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hermione?"

His voice was rough and quiet like he'd just woken up when in actuality he'd barely slept at all. Hermione had been restless in her sleep last night. She would toss and turn and mumble incoherent strings of words. He tried to calm her down by holding her tighter and whispering calming words, but nothing had seemed to work.

"Remus?"

When she pulled away to look at him he was staring at the ceiling dazedly. She pulled herself up so that her face was above him and in his line of vision. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn't slept a wink. Her sandy-blonde hair was ruffled and sticking out in a fashion similar to James. She touched the darkness at the tops of his cheeks with the tip of her finger, and gave him a questioning gaze. His hushed voice broke the silence.

"What did you dream about last night, Hermione?"

Hermione flinched and went to pull away, but he held her there with a gentle hand at the back of her neck.

"You wouldn't stop moving, and you were mumbling."

She shut her eyes and whispered, "I couldn't change Dumbledore's fate." Remus's eyebrows drew together, and he brushed her curls behind her ears. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at her words.

"What do you mean?"

She opened her eyes and gave him a desperate look. "He's going to die. Last time it took a year, but I don't know if that will be the same."

Remus sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. Hermione watched as a range of emotions passed over his face and she sniffed. Her eyes shut as well.

"I'm sorry! I should've been able to stop it. I should've done something different, or insisted I do it alone. I should've stopped him before it happened, but I couldn't handle all the voices and I've gotten so weak. It's all my fault!"

"Hermione, stop!"

Remus's eyes had flown open at the beginning of her rant and now he was holding her cheek. He didn't know what happened last night, or how Dumbledore died in the future, or what they were retrieving, but he didn't have to. That feeling he'd had when Hermione had first told him and Lily where she was from all those weeks ago in the Room of Requirement hadn't faded at all. He had never believed in someone as much as he believed in Hermione Granger. Not even Dumbledore.

When she opened her eyes she had a faded look like she wasn't quite aware of where she was or who she was with.

"It's not your fault, Hermione. Whatever happened, it's not your fault."

"You can't know that, Remus."

"I know that you would do everything you could to stop what is going to happen, and I believe you did everything the way you were supposed to. You can't be responsible for everyone's lives, Hermione. That's too much for one person." He said softly.

Part of Hermione knew he was right. She dropped her forehead to his.

"I have to go see him," she whispered.

Hermione for the first time thought about the predicament of sneaking out of the room.

She groaned and said, "James is going to kill me for sleeping in your bed."

Remus chuckled. "Don't worry they all left for breakfast right before you woke up."

She sat up and carefully peaked her head out of the curtains. Thankfully the room was empty.

"Oh, thank Merlin."

Remus pulled her down for a kiss before sitting up as well, "Yeah, for some reason Sirius was very eager to get to breakfast. James was going to wake me up, but Sirius insisted I needed my sleep."

Hermione's eyes widened. Had he heard her come to their room last night? Did he know she was in bed with Remus?

"That's odd…" she mumbled. She slipped her shoes on and stood up. She reached her arms to the air and stretched. She watched as Remus rubbed at his eyes from the edge of his bed. She reached forward and ruffled his hair.

"You're rather cute in the morning. All rumpled." He snorted and gave her a withering look. She frowned and ran her fingers along the bags under his eyes again. "I'm sorry I kept you up, Remus." He caught her hand with his and kissed her fingers.

"Yes, well, I didn't mind too much." He smirked up at her and said, "Except for the kicking. You're violent even in your sleep. Did you know that?"

Hermione gasped and whacked him on the arm before she realized that that just proved his point. "You cheeky git!"

He laughed at her as she started to make her way out of the room.

"I'll see you at lunch!" She said over her shoulder before making her quick escape out of his room and going to her own for a shower and change of clothes.

* * *

Hermione had made it up to Dumbledore's office and was now standing in front of his desk. Neither said a word. She was staring at his hand which had stopped turning black about halfway down his palm.

She could feel the warmth of the stone pressed into the middle of her palm.

Dumbledore was staring at her hand like he knew what was there.

"You can't bring her back, Albus."

Dumbledore nodded vaguely and tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robes.

He looked up at her over the rim of his glasses.

"And you can't bring back your Harry."

Hermione's knuckles turned white. She choked up. She had to ask.

"Would I be able to see him though? Even just for a moment?"

Dumbledore gave her a calculating look. "Three turns of the stone, and his spirit will appear." Hermione sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed her thumb along the side of the stone. "He will disappear as soon as you lose contact with it."

Hermione nodded and looked down at her own hands. She looked up and studied the man in front of her.

"I'm sorry I didn't do more to save you." She was completely sincere in her apology. The man may have used her and Harry for his own agenda, but his intentions were true. She may disagree completely with the immorality of his actions, but there would always be that part of her that saw him as the spearhead for the thing inside her that she hadn't known existed. The magical part of her. "I truly am sorry."

He smiled sadly at her and nodded. "I assume this is the same way I died last time."

Hermione shook her head. "It would have been. If Death Eaters hadn't gotten to you first."

He stood and walked around the desk. He stopped on his way out so that his left shoulder was lined up with hers. He set a hand on her knit jumper. His blackened fingers contrasting with the soft and pale blue fabric seemed like an ominous sign.

"I don't blame you for my own foolishness, Miss Granger. Me putting that ring on was a fixed point in my own personal timeline. You can't change everything."

Hermione was frozen.

Right before he left her alone in his office he said, "Professor Slughorn says I have a year. Perhaps it would be wise to ask for my help before it is no longer possible."

Then he was gone, and Hermione was left clutching the Resurrection Stone, and rethinking her own plan.

* * *

Hermione spent the rest of the week talking herself in and out of using the stone. All the voices had stopped talking to her. Harry, Ron, Luna, Snape, all of them were just gone. Hermione was loathe to admit to herself that she missed them.

She was having trouble adjusting to a consciousness that was just her own.

Remus and Lily often found her staring into nothing with the stone clutched tightly between her fingers. It always took her awhile to come back, and most times one of them would end up just sitting with her until she did. If someone else found her like this they would just find Lily or Remus and lead them to her.

One particularly bad episode she'd been hiding behind what come to be known to the Marauder's as 'Hermione's rock' by the lake after classes when she'd frozen up.

She'd been out there an hour before Sirius had found her.

She was half frozen to death and shivering, but her eyes remained unfocused on some fixed point over the lake. Sirius's eyes had widened, and he'd immediately pulled his thick leather jacket off and wrapped it around her frail shoulders. He'd heard from James and Remus that she had been disappearing mentally all week, but because he had been avoiding her he had yet to see it for himself.

At first he didn't know what to do, but then he remembered Remus saying that he just sat with her and Sirius made himself comfortable on a rock a couple feet away. He cast a couple warming charms and tried to ignore her blank stare.

He'd done his best not to think about what had happened in the common room Saturday night, but it was plaguing him. Being around her hurt, and being around Remus hurt even more.

James was his brother, but Remus was his best friend. And Sirius may come across like an oblivious git, but he _saw _things. Remus was in love with Hermione whether he knew it for himself yet or not. To his knowledge, Hermione hadn't told Remus what had happened because Sirius was pretty sure he would've gotten some kind of lashing from Remus regarding it. Whether it be physical or verbal.

_But, Sirius, if we don't tell them then that means it meant something._

He groaned and threw his arm over his eyes.

It was nearly another hour after he'd placed his coat around her that she finally started to blink. Her entire body was shaking from the sudden feeling that rushed through her body from the cold. Her fingernails were dug so deep into her palm that she could see dried blood on her skin.

She wiped at her eyes and looked around. Sirius was sprawled on a rock to her left in a long sleeve button down and trousers. He was staring up at the night sky with a deeply thoughtful expression.

The night sky.

"What time is it?" She croaked.

When Sirius jumped and turned his thoughtful expression on her her cheeks flushed a deep red.

His stare was more intense than anyone she'd met before.

He cast a Tempus charm and Hermione saw that it was just past eight in the evening.

"Oh, merlin."

She rubbed at her forehead with her free hand and carefully pulled herself up. She shivered and when she went to wrap the jacket closer around her she finally realized that it wasn't _her _jacket.

She looked up at Sirius.

"How long have you been out here with me?"

He slid off the rock and walked closer to her. He reached down and pulled her arms through the sleeves before he zipped up his jacket. It was so large it came down to almost mid-thigh on her, and he smiled at the image in front of him.

"Nearly an hour," he whispered. "I'd be surprised if you didn't get sick from being out here for so long."

Once he'd finished adjusting his jacket on her he finally looked into her eyes to see she had that same scared expression that she'd had right after he'd kissed her on Saturday.

"Are you scared of me, kitten?"

She studied him for a moment.

She wasn't scared of him. She was scared of what he made her feel. Sirius Black was dangerous.

"No," she said quietly, but it must've not sounded very convincing because his eyebrows shot up.

In an effort to change the subject, the first thing she could think of burst from her lips, "The voices have stopped."

The words were barely there because she'd kept them close like a tightly guarded secret up until this moment. Sirius and her hadn't talked about what goes on in her head since she'd started dating Remus.

"Did they now?"

He looked disbelieving.

"That's why I have been getting lost." She avoided his eyes and looked towards the castle. "I think there's too much empty space in my brain now. It's like I only have my consciousness to listen to, and I don't know how to manage anymore. My mind hasn't been this quiet for over a year."

These were the thoughts that had been plaguing her lately. The truth was, she didn't know how to do this without Harry.

"Kitten, aren't these voices all just manifestations of yourself?" He stepped closer and her gaze darted to his eyes before speeding back to the castle. "Hasn't it just been you all along?"

She sighed. "It's like my access to that part of me has been cut off."

She wished she could tell him how badly she needed Harry's voice. How much that part of her helped her with her missions, but she couldn't tell him that without telling him everything. And the second she did that, Sirius would have more of her than Remus, and she _refused_ to tell Remus about the voices.

"Is that such a bad thing?" He whispered.

She nodded vigorously. It also didn't help that without Harry's voice his absence felt larger. His death would solidify. Her inability to ever see _her _Harry again would become concrete. She wasn't ready for that.

Part of her whispered from the recesses of her mind that she could just use the stone. Actually _see _him. But she was scared if she did that, then the voices would never come back.

"I think I… I think I _need _them, Sirius."

Sirius shook his head. "You don't."

"I do!" Sirius took a step back, and really looked at her. He was treading on thin ice here. A precipice between what he longed for and what was right.

"I'm going to go get Remus." He gave her a sad look. "You should be talking to him about these things." Hermione pressed her palms together, so she could feel the warmth of the stone between both of her hands. Sirius stared at the skin poking out in between the sleeves of his black jacket. He could see the dried blood.

"Hermione…"

"He doesn't know, Sirius!" She interrupted him with a shout. He thought for a moment that she was talking about the kiss, but then she lowered her voice to a whisper and said, "About the voices… He doesn't know."

Sirius eye's flew up to hers, and the intensity returned. The idea that she had this part of her, this _dark_ part of her that she shared with only him, made that feeling his heart reserved just for her grow. He hated himself for it, but the fact that she shared this vulnerable thing with him, made him feel like some sort of safe haven. Like he was the best for her. He didn't like this bitter part of him that was growing in regards to Remus, but he'd never made anyone feel _safe_ before. He was supposed to be Sirius Black. Trouble, heartbreak, and danger personified with bad blood pumping through his veins. Hermione made him feel different. Like he could be a good man.

_You're a good person, Sirius Black._

Sirius ran his hands through his hair and pinched the wrinkles between his eyebrows.

"You can't do this to me, Hermione," he growled out.

She looked around and pushed her hair back. It had been in a ponytail, but after sitting in the wind for so long most of it was out. When she pushed her hair back Sirius saw the deep crescent moons pressed into her palm. Her hands clasped back together and she stared at a point over his shoulder.

"I can't tell him, Sirius." She thought about it for a moment, but shook her head again. "I just… I think I needed to tell someone. You're the only one who knows, but I thought… well… you've been avoiding me. I wasn't going to tell you, but then you were just…" she gestured to the snow covered rock that he'd been laying on, and then took another step away from him. "I can't eat or sleep, and I keep losing myself. Remus, he doesn't know how to help me. _I _don't know how to help me, and I just… I _need _Harry."

Sirius could only watch as she broke down right in front of him. She'd said Harry was her best friend. That she'd been through everything she'd been through for him, but Harry was dead. This he knew for sure. She'd wanted to talk to him all week about why she was disappearing, but he'd been avoiding her like a coward after his own actions Saturday night. Him kissing her and telling her to keep it secret had mucked everything up. _He'd _mucked everything up.

"What can I do?" He asked desperately. Her gaze moved from where it'd been staring into nothing to his deep grey eyes. She had to see Harry. She had to see him one more time. Her fingers tightened impossibly on the stone.

"It's okay, Sirius. I won't burden you with it anymore." His eyes widened in shock. "I can get through it," she said this part quietly and to herself. Like if she said it enough it would come true. "I won't do this to you anymore."

Sirius was filled with an innumerable amount of regret almost instantly. She was physically and emotionally pulling away from him, and it was like he could already feel the darkness returning at the edges of his heart.

"That's not what I meant, kitten," he said. The same desperation from before returned full force. "I'm sorry, it's just a lot, and after Saturday…"

Hermione flinched and took another step away from him.

"You're right. It's a lot..." she said this with a sad acceptance in her voice. She nodded to herself. "I should talk to Remus about these things." Sirius took another step towards her, but she stepped away.

"Wait I can…" He started, but she put her hands up.

"No, Sirius."

She, with one hand still holding the stone, quickly unzipped and pulled herself out of his jacket. She handed it to him and failed to repress the shiver once he had taken it back.

"I can get through it," she repeated. With one last look up at his shocked expression she started walking back towards the castle.

Sirius put his jacket back on and tried to ignore the heavy feeling settling in his stomach as he watched her walk away.

* * *

Sirius for the rest of the week observed her as she picked at her food at every meal and disappeared further and further into herself. With the deterioration of Hermione, Remus began to deteriorate as well. He was starting to look like the pale sickly werewolf he'd been before they'd all become Animagi. Before the Wolfsbane. Before Hermione.

James was becoming paranoid and followed Hermione everywhere, scared she would enter another episode and disappear somewhere where they wouldn't be there to bring her back. Peter sat beside her at meals and filled her plate up and then watched determinately as she filled up fork-full after fork-full, but never actually ate any of it. Lily and Marlene had taken to walking arm and arm with her to class and trying to include her in whatever conversation they were having, but nothing seemed to be working.

Watching Hermione also caused Sirius to notice anyone _else _who was watching her. Besides the obvious suspects, there were also a few concerning people who seemed to notice her health.

An odd Ravenclaw by the name of Pandora Goshawk had made a habit of approaching Hermione at meals with odd presents like sunflower hair pins, eye-glasses to spot missing items, among other things. Hermione would smile softly at her every time before Pandora would skip off. At first Sirius had been rather confused about the two witches friendship, and then Lily one day had told him that Pandora and Hermione studied together sometimes.

Snivellus rather than making detrimental comments during Potions, as was expected of him, instead just silently picked up her slack when her memory failed her. Sirius thought this might have something to do with him trying to get back in Lily's good graces because Evans watched Snape interact with Hermione like a hawk in Potions.

Not surprising at all, Professor McGonagall had taken to keeping Hermione after class to ask about her well-being. The two witches seemed to have this odd connection that Sirius couldn't comprehend.

Someone that really concerned him was Lucius Malfoy. The older boy had started following Hermione around with his eyes whenever she was in the same area as him. Every once in a while, Hermione's gaze would snap up and meet his and she would give him the deadliest glare he had ever seen from her. Malfoy always responded with a predatory smirk that had Sirius growling from wherever his vantage point had been. These interactions got the most emotions out of Hermione than anything else, so he didn't do anything about it.

The one person that gave him extreme pause, was his own brother, Reggie, that watched her. He never had any emotion on his face, but he seemed to observe her more like he would a bubbling Potion than anything else. Like he was trying to figure out what ingredient to add next. Like some great mystery. Sirius found himself most nervous about his brother out of all of them.

After one instance Friday morning where Hermione had nearly passed out in the middle of the hallway, from lack of nutrition, dehydration, or something else entirely, Sirius cornered James and said with as much conviction as he felt, which was a lot, "We need Dorea."

James had responded by nodding solemnly and saying, "I already owled her this morning."

When Hermione was packing her stuff into her trunk Friday after classes ended, she received a note from Pandora asking to meet her in the Astronomy tower that night. She didn't leave a time, but Pandora never really did, so Hermione just made her way up right before curfew after she'd finished packing.

She had planned on just leaving without saying anything, but she was stopped by a concerned looking Peter.

"Hullo, Hermione. Where are you off to?"

She frowned and said, "I'm just going to see Pandora, Peter."

Peter looked at her closely for a moment before saying, "Best not tell James, you left, or he'd insist on coming with you. You should try and hurry back though, okay?"

Hermione blanched at the obvious worry in his tone. Had she really been that off this past week? Sure, she had been having trouble with her awareness and such, but if Peter was this concerned, it must've looked pretty bad.

She snapped out of it when she noticed Peter's hand waving in front of her eyes.

"Don't worry, Peter. I'll be back soon. Promise."

He looked skeptical, but still eventually stepped out of the way.

She opened the portrait hole and made her way as quickly as she could manage up to the Astronomy Tower. She'd begun to feel rather fatigued lately, and her head was constantly aching.

Once she made it, she was surprised to find that instead of Pandora's willowy form, staring out over the edge was Regulus Black.

He turned at the sound of scuffling feet and Hermione startled when she saw that his face was flushed and his eyes bloodshot.

"Regulus?"

He looked her over and his frown deepened.

"You need to take better care of yourself, pet." His voice was rough like he hadn't used it in a long while. Hermione frowned at the nickname.

"I'm not a pet."

Regulus actually smiled at that, and Hermione's frown deepened. They'd had nearly that same interaction when they'd met back in September, but she never remembered him smiling that entire time. Regulus looked at her for a couple more seconds before turning back around. He was more angular than his brother. More wiry. Hermione had a feeling that if he lived long enough this time around, he'd also end up being taller than Sirius.

"I'm serious though. You've been a mess this week. Your entire crowd of lions has been following you around like lost puppies."

Hermione tilted her head to the side, "I'm surprised you noticed."

He glanced at her over his shoulder before turning back towards the horizon.

"I notice a lot of things," he said quietly.

Hermione realized then that Pandora must have orchestrated this meeting somehow. Seen it in her tea leaves or something or another.

"Like what?" She asked warily.

Regulus hesitated a moment before saying, "Lupin was a good choice. My brother's a right git."

Hermione gave a humorless laugh and mumbled, "Well noticing _that_ doesn't say much."

Regulus turned back to her fully and continued, "But my brother watches you like you've chosen him instead." Hermione blanched. "You appeared out of nowhere at the beginning of the year, as some supposed 'transfer from Beauxbatons,' but you don't have any kind of French accent. On top of that you seemed to have had previously built friendships with my brother and his band of merry gits."

"Ce n'est pas parce que je n'ai pas d'accent que je ne parle pas français."

**(Just because I don't have an accent, doesn't mean I don't speak French.)**

He didn't even miss a beat when he responded, "Cela ne change pas le fait que vous avez fait le tour du château comme vous l'aviez fait un million de fois auparavant."

**(That doesn't change the fact that you walked around the castle like you'd walked it a million times before. )**

Hermione just looked at him challengingly and hissed, "I got a tour."

Regulus returned her look and said, "You've developed friendships with notable people. Pandora Goshawk. Severus Snape. Rubeus Hagrid. Peter Pettigrew." Hermione tried not to let any emotion pass on her face, but the last name almost got her. Regulus paused to study her expression. Regulus would know if Peter was already being approached, and since he'd said his name Hermione had a feeling that he had. She worked even harder to mask her panic. He looked directly in her eyes and kept on, "Yes, it's true, most of these people seem less than notable, but upon closer inspection, and with a keen eye and ear, one can see how they'd all have their uses to the right person."

Hermione took a deep breath, but he was unrelenting.

"One might even call them key players in what's to come." He lifted a finger and pointed directly at her chest, "Don't play coy and act like you don't know what's coming. The Slytherin's talk, and you're building quite the reputation."

Hermione didn't bother hiding her panic now. He didn't expand on the reputation, but he didn't need to. Lucius had been prodding at her mind all week. Snape had caught a peak at her wrists in Potions one day, she was sure of it. Her dress at Halloween may have hidden her arms, but it didn't hide her legs. And then there was the matter of Yaxley, Crabbe and Notte.

"Why are you saying all this?" She asked carefully. The familiar sneer from that one night in the dark corridor returned, and he said menacingly.

"Because, Hermione Granger, I have to go home tomorrow to Grimmauld where my bigoted mother and father await me with 'news'. I find myself not wanting to hear it, and you once told me you could get me out."

Hermione paused. In the glow from the moon she finally took a moment to observe him. What she'd observed at first was true. He was flushed and had blood-shot eyes, but she'd missed his slightly unhinged expression. He looked like a boy filled to the brim with paranoia. A boy awaiting a dark fate.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner?" She asked quietly.

His sneer melted and he stood up straight to his full height. "I have been trying to get a message to you since last Saturday, but those idiots have been guarding you like you're the minister herself."

Hermione nodded in understanding. "Pandora." He waved his hand dismissively.

"Yes, as I said, the witch has her uses."

Hermione must have paused too long because he said quietly, "I'm not sure what I was expecting from you. I'm not one to get my hopes up, and I realize that not going home tomorrow isn't an option." He looked up at her, and Hermione realized absently that him and Sirius had the same eyes. "I think I was just hoping that if whatever happens when I arrive home is what I am expecting, you've created some kind of plan."

Hermione smiled sadly at him and said, "If I am anything, it's a planner."

Regulus returned the solemn smile and said, "As I hoped."

She reached to her side and opened the expanded bag she'd taken to bringing everywhere with her. She dug around in it so that she was up to her elbow, and her fingers eventually found what she was looking for. She pulled out the carefully wrapped Galleons and held them carefully between her fingertips. She held one out to him.

"I've created these Galleons with the Protean charm. You can transfigure them to send messages. It will warm up when the other person has altered it."

He took it and held it in his palm.

"You could leave," she whispered this like a monumental secret. "Come back with Sirius, James, and I to the Potter's."

Regulus looked back up at her and shook his head. "My mother would find me."

Hermione scowled and said, "Walburga Black can rot in hell for all I care."

A genuine smile took over his face. "I can see why they're all so taken with you. You're like some kind of avenging angel, pet."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Not a pet."

Regulus's smiled dropped and the same haunted expression returned to his face. "No. I suppose not."

Regulus made his way to the stairs and looked back at her one last time.

"Peter Pettigrew has been refusing the Slytherin's advances, but I think we are in agreement in my saying that he is weak of mind."

Hermione nodded at him and before he could leave she said quickly, "Learn occlumency, Regulus."

He paused with his back to her and whispered, "Severus and I already have."

* * *

The next day, Hermione boarded the train with the same vacant feeling she'd had all week. She sat stiffly by the window with her wand clutched in one hand and the stone in the other. Regulus was going to get the mark over break, she was sure. That and she still had the Basilisk to contend with. She'd also promised Lily that they would set up wards. Dumbledore was dying. She needed to talk to Harry.

The train ride felt like it only lasted five minutes, and she couldn't remember if that was because she'd disappeared for all of it, or if she had actually fallen asleep. Either way she followed the boys off the train like some ghost and only broke down when she saw a prim as always Dorea waiting patiently next to the silent Charlus.

She pushed past the boys and ran into her open arms.

The woman just held her tightly and whispered in her ear, "You aren't responsible."

It felt like this woman, who she had somehow come to view as a mother figure, was the only thing holding her together at that point.

* * *

**AN: Another long chapter for you guys. **

**Thanks, as usual, for the follows, favorites, and reviews. Hope you enjoyed!**


	18. Holidays

**AN: I start work tomorrow, so sadly I ask you not to get used to this daily update thing. Sorry I am so sporadic! I just get excited**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Holidays**

Hermione had never been more thankful for a break from school, but her brief happiness over the break disappeared when she collapsed in bed after bringing up her trunk and the pounding headache had reappeared.

Remus and Peter had said their goodbyes at the station as they both were required to go home for Christmas.

Her goodbye with Remus had been short and sweet due to them being under the watchful eye of his stern father, Dorea, and Charlus.

He'd pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, "Keep that Galleon close." He'd placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and looked at her nervously. "Take care of yourself, Hermione."

He looked at Sirius and James and they had seemed to have some kind of silent understanding where Remus stared at them and Sirius and James nodded. Hermione had watched him walk away after that until his sandy blonde hair was no longer in view.

"Come on, kitten," Sirius's quiet voice and gentle hand on her wrist had pulled her away. As soon as she snapped out of it she'd pulled away from him and latched onto James's elbow.

Dorea had watched all of these interactions carefully.

When they'd gotten back to the house, Tilly had popped in almost immediately to tell all of them that dinner was ready.

The boys had looked at Hermione expectantly, but she hadn't been paying attention. She just let go of James and shrunk her trunk to take upstairs. When she had disappeared, Charlus and Dorea both looked towards the boys.

"Yeah… she won't be coming to dinner," said James.

* * *

Hermione had been in bed for maybe five minutes before the unmistakable sound of a house elf apparating caused her to sit up.

"Tilly _insists_ that Mistress Hermione comes down to dinner."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up. She looked over at the house elf in the lavender tea towel. She had her hands on her hips and a wooden spoon in her small hand. She was waving it now as she stepped closer to her.

"Does she now?" Hermione regretted her words when Tilly's batty eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Tilly doesn't appreciated being talked down to! No she doesn't!" She whacked Hermione on the knee with the spoon. Hermione flinched. "And Tilly _insists_ that Mistress Hermione come down to dinner!"

She hit Hermione's knee again.

"And Tilly is mad at Mistress Hermione! Mistress Hermione lose all the weight Tilly worked so hard to give you!"

She hit her thigh this time and Hermione actually yelped.

"_AND _Tilly _insists _that Mistress Hermione come to dinner _right _now!"

"Okay! I'm coming!" Hermione pushed herself up from the bed with much effort under Tilly's scrutinizing eyes. Tilly tsked when Hermione put a hand on her forehead when she was hit with a dizzy spell.

"Mistress Hermione not take care of herself."

Hermione watched in horror as the elf's big eyes filled with tears.

"Mistress Hermione is sad again."

Hermione panicked and began to walk out of the room to escape the crying elf. "Don't worry, Tilly. I'm going to dinner, and I am going to be happy. You'll see!"

She ran away when the elf started to wail dramatically in the middle of her room.

She slowed down as soon as she made it to the stairs and quietly made her way down to the dining room. She paused right outside the door at the sound of voices.

"I don't know, Mum. She was getting better. She was eating and happy. I think… I think Remus made her happy."

"When did it start?" Asked Charlus quietly.

"Saturday night," whispered Sirius.

James jumped in, "Wasn't that the night of her meeting with Dumbledore? Could something have happened with him?"

Dorea interrupted him.

"What happens during these 'episodes' you mentioned in the letter, James?"

Hermione listened as James sighed. She could imagine him running his fingers through his messy hair.

"She disappears."

"What do you mean, dear?"

"I don't know, she'd just zone out. She wouldn't move or blink or talk for a while. Sometimes it was five minutes and sometimes it was a couple hours."

There was a pause, and Hermione considered walking the rest of the way in, but then Charlus asked, "Did specific things trigger it?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "I think she triggered it herself. Her own thoughts..."

Hermione's eyes widened. Was he about to tell them about what she'd said to him? Suddenly Hermione felt something whack the back of her denim covered knee.

"She told me she-"

Sirius started to say right as Hermione screeched at the continued assault from the house elf.

Sirius stopped talking and jumped up at the feminine squeal coming from right outside the room, and then Hermione stumbled through the doorway. Her hair was standing on end, and she had that vacant look in her eyes that they'd all grown familiar with.

She looked at Sirius and he could see on her face that she knew what he was about to say. What he was about to tell them.

"Hermione, dear! Why don't you sit down? Have some dinner with us." Hermione's eyes didn't leave Sirius's. She felt a sudden chill and shivered. She began to get that feeling she got right before she'd lose herself, where she could physically feel her mind separating from her body.

She'd told him she didn't want anyone to know.

Tilly slapped the back of Hermione's elbow with the spoon, and Hermione barely reacted this time.

"Hermione?"

Charlus's voice made her jump. She looked up at him. Her fingers were cramping. She hadn't let go of the stone in a week.

"Tilly hit me with a spoon…" She trailed off and looked down at her hands. "Said I had to come to dinner."

Hermione didn't look up as she slowly made her way to a seat on the opposite side of the table from Sirius. She couldn't look at him.

The rest of the people at the table probably would've laughed at the idea of Tilly lashing out with a spoon, but none of them could take their eyes off of Hermione. It was like all those months of healing had disappeared.

Hermione stared at the plate of steaming food in front of her like it was an enemy on the opposite side of a battlefield.

The silence was stifling, and she knew what they needed was reassurance. She looked up at Charlus and Dorea.

"I missed you guys."

She hadn't realized how true the words were until they were out. She smiled at them, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Charlus smiled at her. "We missed you too, Hermione."

She picked up her fork. The meal pretty much mirrored her very first meal at Potter Manor. They all waited for Hermione to take her first bite before they went back to their meals. About three bites in she could feel the stone burning a hole through her hand. It was almost like she was back in the shack with the taunting words hissing at her from all angles. She put her fisted hands over her ears, but it just continued. She needed to speak with Harry.

She very slowly stood up. She removed her hands carefully and the noises rushing past her ears prevented her from hearing the people at the table's concerned questions.

She thought she asked them to excuse her, but she couldn't be sure because even her own voice was drowned in the hisses. She made her way towards the door to the backyard.

She wasn't wearing a cloak or shoes, but she hardly noticed.

She stopped about ten paces out. She was barely outside the glow from the lights of the house.

She held her breath and lifted the stone.

_Three turns of the stone, and his spirit will appear._

Hermione looked up at the stars and before she could talk herself out of it she turned the stone three times.

Her head was starting to pound from holding her breath, and she had tears in her eyes.

"Hey, Mione."

All the air left her body and her knees buckled. She landed in the snow with her knees and shins making imprints. She was careful to hold on tight to the stone.

Her eyes squeezed shut.

It wasn't in her head. He was _real._

She looked up and gasped.

_Almost_ real.

"Harry."

His name came out broken.

He looked older than when she'd last seen him. He looked older than he was supposed to in general. He was skinny and probably wearing the exact same thing he'd been wearing when he died. Jeans and a grey shirt that were both torn places and covered in blood. He had an ethereal blue glow about him, but it was him.

"Harry…" She repeated.

There was a crushing weight in her chest. All the grief that she'd felt over the last few months was _nothing _compared to this.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"It's too much." She took a few deep breaths, but then Harry's voice broke the silence.

"Mione…"

She finally looked into his eyes. Even with the glow they were the deepest green she'd ever seen.

"They didn't lie, Harry." He cocked his head to the side. "You have Lily's eyes."

She had tears running down her face, but now that she'd looked into his eyes, it was like she was paralyzed.

They just stared at each other for a couple minutes before Hermione spoke.

"I can't do this without you, Harry."

Harry smiled at her and said, "That's funny because I said the same thing about you."

Hermione laughed humorlessly.

"If anyone could do this alone, it's you, Mione."

Hermione looked down at his feet. She was sobbing now, and clutching at her chest.

"But you don't have to do it alone." Hermione's head snapped up. Harry took a couple steps towards her and crouched down, so they were at eye level. She held herself tight so that she wouldn't try to wrap him in a hug. "My family, Hermione. My grandparents. They'll help you."

She choked up.

"Dorea and Charlus? I'm a burden to them. I have so many problems. I don't really even know how to be a person anymore."

"Bollocks."

Hermione gave a watery laugh.

"It's true!"

Harry smiled at her. She was finally starting to breathe normally when he said, "We came for you, you know?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she fell back, so that she was sitting fully on her legs.

"Harry?"

He kept talking, "I have to tell you. Everything that happened afterwards, I have to tell you," he said forcefully. Hermione hesitated a moment before nodding. "Dobby died right after he apparated us out. Bellatrix's cursed blade. He took us to Shell Cottage. The entire Weasley family came when Bill sent a Patronus telling them we were there."

Hermione held her breath again as she listened. She never thought she'd hear this. He was answering all the questions she hadn't dared to ask.

"Molly lost it. Said that we had to go back for you. She called an Order meeting, but Moody and Shacklebolt refused. They said the Order wasn't strong enough for an ambush for just one person. That's when I said it. I told them I couldn't do it without you." Harry's eyes had tears in them. "I tried everything to convince them, but they wouldn't hear it. Even Remus and Tonks refused."

Hermione balked. "Even Remus wouldn't?"

Harry smiled at her sadly. "He wasn't your Remus then, Mione."

"Remus would never leave someone!" She sobbed. "He wouldn't leave me there!" Harry reached a hand out and stopped a few inches from hers. He pulled back and kept going.

"So Ron and I went to Fred, George, Lee, Angelina, Neville, Seamus, Ginny, and a few other people. We had a plan. It was a few weeks after they had taken you, and we left in the middle of the night. We apparated right outside Malfoy Manor, and we were ready. We had a solid plan."

Hermione froze up. She knew something must've gone terribly wrong because if it hadn't, Hermione would've only been in that cell for three weeks, not eight months.

"Harry." She took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"Snape was there waiting for us in Death Eater garb. He told us that he couldn't let us do it. Told us he had orders from Dumbledore," Harry was spitting out his words now. He put his face in his hands for a moment before looking up with a tortured expression. "He said if we went after you, any chances of winning the war would be over. He said you were part of a bigger plan. Something instrumental to the Order."

Hermione's hands flew to her cheeks.

Snape told her he had orders from Dumbledore right before he sent her here. How long had he planned on her being the failsafe? Had he decided since she first got snatched that he would keep her there? Just _in case?_

She was sobbing again. She didn't know if she could bare to hear the rest, but she had to know.

"You just left after that?" She asked shakily. Harry shook his head.

"Of course not! We didn't believe him. Told him there was nothing he could say that would stop us. He'd planned for that though. He knew we wouldn't listen. Called us 'damn Gryffindor idiots,' and then called the other Death Eaters. It was only about ten of them, but they got Neville and Fred."

Hermione flew up and spun, so her back was to him with her eyes squeezed tight.

"We had to get out of there, Hermione. No one would go back after that! I tried to get an elf to take me, but they all refused because I was _Harry Potter_."

Hermione pushed her palms against her temples. "Snape kept me there. He could've gotten me out, and he kept me there."

She felt his cold presence beside her.

"I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know we came for you."

"Harry, I…"

"Hermione?"

Hermione jumped and in her panic, dropped the stone in the snow.

She looked to the left right as Harry's spirit faded into nothing. She reached out for where he was, and that was when the cold began to seep into her bones.

"No!" Hermione dropped into the snow for the second time and searched with blurry eyes for the stone. "I'm not ready!" Her fingers were shaking and numb and she couldn't see. "I'm not done," she whispered.

Then there was someone in the snow next to her, and they plucked the stone from the snow and held it in the center of their palm. The Deathly Hallows symbol pointed to the sky.

Hermione snatched it and held it close to her chest.

"Hermione, is that what I think it is?"

Dorea was a pureblood. She knew all the stories and legends, and that stone was something she'd seen in illustrations from her favorite childhood storybook. From the story about becoming the master of death.

There was a gentle hand on her shoulder. Hermione wiped at her eyes.

"I just… I just needed to talk to him."

The hand moved to her cheek. "I know, dear."

Hermione looked up into Dorea's familiar Black family eyes.

There was no mistaking the look she was giving her as anything but pitying. She'd heard all of Hermione's side of the conversation. Hermione sucked in a deep breath.

"Since that first day in _that _place he knew he would… he would let me _rot_ just in case everyone else died."

Dorea just nodded.

"I thought they just left me there. That they didn't even come after me, but they _did_. Snape stopped them and told them I was a part of a _bigger _plan." Hermione's next words came out like her last breath of air. "He had Death Eaters ambush them. They killed Neville and Fred."

Dorea pulled her into her arms.

"I hate him." Hermione was heaving. "I _hate _him!"

* * *

They had all followed Hermione out of the dining room, but she seemed like a woman possessed. She walked straight out into the snow, and they'd all paused in the doorway. Dorea had held her hand up and that was that. She'd quietly slid the door open and followed her. They'd all watched from the window as Hermione walked barefoot into the snow like some sort of ghost before she stopped right outside the light from inside. They watched her silhouette look up like she was searching for something before she collapsed in the snow. They watched as she fell back on her calves and they watched as her entire body started to shake.

"Why is Mum just standing there!"

"Shush, James!"

It wasn't until Hermione jumped and spun around that they saw her face. They could see the betrayal and devastation. Sirius wanted to be thankful that the expression on her face was anything but apathetic, but seeing those expressions hurt him.

It wasn't until she had turned around that Sirius realized she was talking. He wondered if the voices had come back, and if they had, he couldn't decide if that was a good thing.

Then her eyes flew open and whatever she'd been holding in her hand dropped in the snow. They watched her fall after it, and wipe at her eyes as her entire body shook. When Dorea dropped into the snow next to her and pulled her into her arms like some ragdoll, Charlus pulled away from the window and turned towards Sirius and James.

"You boys should head upstairs."

Then he dismissed them with a wave of his hand before opening the door and walking in the snow towards the two witches.

James and Sirius had waited until Charlus had pulled Hermione from Dorea's arms and stood with her like when they'd originally seen them together stepping through the floo on June 14th. James's eyes watered when for the first time in his life, he watched his mother weep on her hands and knees. Sirius looked over and grabbed James's shoulder.

"Come on, Jamie," Sirius whispered.

Sirius had to bodily drag James up the stairs.

* * *

Hermione had let Charlus take her upstairs. Then she'd stared blankly ahead when a wailing Tilly drew her a warm bath as she'd shivered on the floor of the bathroom. Then she'd been left alone and sunk deep into the tub in hopes that the steaming soapy water would scare the chill from her bones. Then she scrubbed at her skin until it had turned a deep, irritated red. She'd scrubbed at her 'Mudblood' scar until the never fully healed lines bled like the day she got it. Then she watched the blood swirl in the water until a red-faced Dorea had yanked the door open and pulled her from the water. She stood like a statue as the woman forced her into Hermione's favorite old tan jumper of James's and a pair of plaid sleep shorts. She barely managed to lift her feet when Dorea shoved fluffy and warmth charmed socks up her legs.

She didn't wake back up from her daze until Dorea tried to pry the stone from her frozen fingers.

"No!"

Dorea had taken one look at her expression, the same one she'd worn when she'd held one of the strongest Wizards in history at wand point in his own meeting, and let go.

Hermione had let her lead her to bed after that. Let her wrap her in blankets like some kind of baby.

She watched Dorea shut the door quietly behind her, and then there was silence.

Hermione had tried to fall asleep on her own, but the chill had seeped into her being and her mind wouldn't be quiet about what she'd learned.

She didn't know what time it was, or how long she'd tried to fall asleep before she made the decision.

Harry had said she didn't need to do it alone. He'd said his family would help. After a few deep breaths she'd locked the stone in the drawer next to her bed and opened her door.

The hall was pitch black, and the walk to the room the boys were sleeping in was longer than she'd remembered.

It felt like a lifetime before she was slowly pushing his door open and shifting restlessly in the doorway. The light was on and the boys were sitting on the floor wide awake.

Their heads flew up and neither of them could hide their shocked expressions. She was a mess. Her hair had dried at odd angles and her skin was red like it had been rubbed raw. Her left forearm was puffier like something was wrapped around it under the knit of her jumper. They could see the hem of her plaid shorts peeking out from underneath, and her face was deathly pale which emphasized the dark violet bags under her eyes. Her lips were a sickly purple rather than their normal rosy color.

Right before Dorea and Charlus had retired into their own suite for the night Charlus had silently stalked into their room and said, "Things always get worse before they get better."

Sirius and James both found themselves hoping this was the worse part Charlus had mentioned. That from here it couldn't get worse, and she would start recovering. _Actually _recovering.

Both boys were silent as she stared at the forgotten game of exploding snap game between them and played nervously with the loose threads at the ends of her sleeves.

"I can't sleep," she whispered.

James immediately jumped up and pulled her into his arms.

"You'll sleep here tonight. We'll take care of you, Hermione."

After that they sandwiched into the large bed just like they used to and each time she woke up crying they held her hand tighter.

Hermione fell asleep with the thought that she wouldn't let her past control her anymore.

* * *

The next morning she surprised everyone in the household by waking up at a decent time, taking a shower, actually _brushing _her hair, and showing up for breakfast in normal clothes.

They all watched wearily as she shoveled a healthy amount of eggs and potatoes on her plate and ate nearly all of it.

Once she'd pushed her plate away with a sigh and looked up at them she saw three shocked expressions and Dorea's knowing eyes.

"What?" She asked rather unnecessarily.

When no one said anything, Hermione finished off her pumpkin juice and stood up.

"I'm going to be in the library finishing my holiday assignments." She picked up her plate to take to the kitchen, but Tilly snatched it from her hands before she could even start heading in that direction. She scowled and turned on the two gobsmacked boys. "I strongly suggest you boys do the same."

If possible, James's jaw dropped even further, but Sirius's turned into a proud grin.

"There's our swot!" He exclaimed before topping it off with a fist pump in the air.

On her way out she made sure to smack him extra hard on the back of his head.

Once she was gone Sirius turned and grinned at the other occupants of the table.

"It's like the last week didn't even happen," James said in a mystified voice.

Dorea smirked when she said, "I'm not surprised one bit." She delicately picked up her fork, and Charlus leaned over to press a kiss to his wife's cheek.

"She's resembling you more and more each day, love."

Dorea smiled mischievously. "No wonder she was almost a Slytherin."

James spat out his pumpkin juice and yelled, "I thought she was kidding about that!"

Charlus laughed heartily when he said, "Not at all."

* * *

Hermione spent the next few days trying to get her physical and mental health in check. She only disappeared a few times, and each time she came back she was wrapped in a blanket, and someone in the house was holding her hand.

Her and Dorea ended up going Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley, and Remus and Hermione exchanged messages through the Galleons nearly every moment of the day.

For his Christmas present, she sent him a new sharp looking messenger bag and a small charmed notebook that allowed them to write to each other whenever they wanted. She had a matching one, and as soon as she'd sent off the package, she walked around with the notebook held tightly in her arms. Christmas Eve she was sitting in front of the fire when it warmed up from its place on her lap.

She couldn't open it fast enough.

Right at the top of the first page, in his neat script Remus had written:

_I miss you more than I have ever missed anyone._

Just like that all the dark thoughts that she'd been trying to push away about what Harry had told her about Remus finally disappeared. Harry was right. He hadn't been _her _Remus when he'd agreed that saving her wasn't an option. She knew now that this Remus would always come for her.

_You were supposed to wait until Christmas, Remus… But I miss you too. _

The full moon had been the week before they'd left for break, and James had mentioned that morning that it had been the worst one yet since they'd started being there with him.

All four boys had showed up to breakfast the next day bruised and torn, and she hadn't even noticed. The notebook warmed up again.

_Are you okay?_

Hermione's eyes watered. She hadn't been thinking about how her health was affecting those around her in the past week, and here Remus was asking about her.

"I'm so selfish," she whispered to herself.

"You are probably the least selfish witch I have ever met."

Hermione's head whipped around. She wiped at her eyes when she saw the messy salt and pepper hair of Charlus.

"Not lately," she muttered.

She turned back towards the notebook and quickly responded as Charlus made his way around the couch and took a seat in the armchair facing her.

_I'm sorry I have been so distant lately. I'm a lot better. Promise. I'll write more later._

She shut the notebook before she could add anything else, and looked back into the fire.

"So… Remus Lupin?" Charlus asked with a mischievous smile on his face. Hermione flushed and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you about to do a protective father bit? Because I am not sure I will respond well to that."

Charlus smiled and lifted his hands up in surrender. "Actually, I was just going to say that he is probably the best choice you could've made out of your lot of boys."

Hermione actually laughed and turned back to the fire. "He's wonderful," she said with pink cheeks.

"Now, I actually did come here to pull information from you." Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What kind of information?"

Charlus sighed and gave an exasperated look, "Regarding my dearest son, James, and his apparently upcoming nuptials with a certain Muggleborn witch that he was yelling about this morning."

She laughed again and said, "Trust me, they are not quite _there_ yet. In fact, I believe her most recent opinion of him is somewhere in the 'toerag' vicinity."

He chuckled before it dropped into a sad smile.

They were both silent for a couple minutes before he said, "Dorea mentioned you told Harry he had Lily's eyes."

Hermione pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. "Yes, well, she comes around eventually," she whispered.

Charlus snorted, "Hard to believe, but I guess my son can be quite determined."

She smiled at him, "Stubborn to a fault, that one."

The doors to the library, which had been barely cracked before, flew open the rest of the way just then and James flew in the room screaming bloody murder. Moments later Sirius appeared in the doorway with Slytherin green hair and unbridled rage in his expression.

"Oh, dear."

James leaned down and wrapped his arms around Hermione's torso before hauling her up and using her as if she was some kind of human shield.

"If you're going to hex me, you're going to have to hex Hermione first!"

Hermione's toes were dangling about six inches off the ground, and her arms were trapped tightly at her sides. She squirmed in his arms and one look at Sirius's furious expression had her screeching, "I did not agree to this!"

James was stronger than his wiry frame let on, and she could barely move an inch. "You better think long and hard about this, Pads. Moony will kill you if you harm one hair on her head!"

Hermione scowled and screamed, "You prats shouldn't be worried about, Moony! I'm going to kill both of you myself!"

Charlus was laughing from his place in the chair, and that's when Dorea glided into the room and said calmly, "Sirius, I am so glad you've decided to show some Slytherin pride. Couldn't be more proud of you, dear."

That seemed to be the line for him because before she could even blink Sirius had launched himself over the couch. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and actually screamed, and James unceremoniously dropped Hermione back onto the floor and, somehow, avoided Sirius long enough to sprint from the room.

Hermione grumbled on the floor and rubbed the place on her bum where she'd fallen.

"I'll get them back for this," she said under her breath.

"I have no doubt about that," laughed Charlus.

A few minutes later James and Sirius returned to the room looking like a matching set.

Hermione couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled in her chest.

* * *

Hermione slept easier that night than she had in a long time, and when she woke up to Sirius and James jumping on the bed, she couldn't even find it in herself to be angry. She even laughed as they pulled her down into the cheerily decorated sitting room where Dorea and Charlus were waiting.

She'd flushed with surprise when they'd all sat down to open presents, and she found that her pile was quite a bit larger than the two boys.

"It seems you've made yourself quite a few friends," said Dorea with a secretive smile.

She opened each present with wonder and complete reverence.

James got her a magical planner that she could link to her own magic to add engagements as she planned them. Sirius, as promised, got her a shirt with 'Black's Number One Fan' in large gold letters. Peter sent her another box of sugar quills and an actual self-inking quill that wrote in ink that only she could see. Remus got her another charm for her bracelet, a small little coin, and tucked a piece of parchment with it which she carefully placed on the table to her right to read later.

After that every present that she saw was a surprise, and all of them came with little notes.

She had laughed pleasantly when she'd opened a small package from Pandora and seen a pair of radish earrings resting at the bottom. She put them in her ears with a large smile on her face before pulling out the note.

_Hope you've reconsidered your stance on Divinations, dear friend!_

Hermione threw it on top of Remus's and said to herself, "Such an odd witch."

She'd teared up when she saw a familiar looking lumpy package from Molly Weasley. She'd opened it carefully and had clutched the fabric of the hand knit jumper to her face for a few moments. There was a note inside that said:

_I always love having an extra mouth to feed. You are welcome to pop in to the Burrow anytime._

After that she opened an unsigned package and saw a set of stationary with her initials at the bottom. Written in perfect longhand on the first letter was simply:

_Hope you're taking care of yourself, Pet._

Hermione had spent a long moment just staring at it before Sirius exclaimed over her shoulder, "Who's that from? And why are they calling you Pet?"

Hermione's eyes widened, and she said quickly, "Just an old friend, Sirius."

She tucked the note with the others and moved on to the next package which ended up being a plate full of rock cakes from Hagrid and a piece of parchment asking her to visit more often. Sirius threw himself over the edge of the couch, so that he was sitting next to her.

Once he was settled he flicked one of her earrings and said, "Oddly enough, I rather like these."

Hermione had smiled and reached up to touch them. "Oddly enough, I rather like them also."

She had actually giggled when she saw that Lily had sent her a four part muggle book series about a young heroine falling in love with a werewolf.

She'd written inside one of the covers:

_Fitting, don't you think?_

"You're not actually going to read that rubbish are you?"

Sirius was flipping through one of the novels when Hermione snatched it from his hands and said through her laughter, "Of course, I am!"

Sirius smirked at her and rested his arms on the back of the couch. It was then that Hermione saw the Dragon pendant resting against his collarbones.

She beamed at him, and he gave her a soft smile.

"Thanks, kitten."

He wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her close to press a fat kiss on top of her head before releasing her. Hermione pulled on the chain around her neck and showed him her matching necklace.

"We match," she said quietly. She'd turned both of the charms into portkeys that would automatically take you to a 'safe place' when activated. She'd found the spell in a book in the restricted section of Hogwarts and written it down.

He ran a finger over the dragon she was holding up and grinned wolfishly at her.

Before he could say anything she turned away and grabbed the next package.

The last one in the stack.

It was from Dorea and Charlus.

When she opened it and saw what it was her hand flew over her mouth.

It was a framed black and white muggle photograph of her parents. Her _real_ parents.

"How…"

Hermione looked up to see Dorea and Charlus smiling grievously at her from across the room.

Dorea simply said, "Called in some favors."

Hermione's eyes flew back to the picture. Her fingertips glided over the glass. It was a wedding picture. She remembered then that they got married in the summer of 1975. She found herself so relieved, that despite the fact that they would never have her, at least they would always have each other.

She could feel Sirius looking at the picture from over her shoulder. There was nothing in it to giveaway when it was taken, so she didn't bother hiding it. Her mother had worn a timeless dress reminiscent of 1940's fashion. Hermione remembered how as a child she'd always begged her mother to let her try it on.

Hermione's fingers shook over her mouth as she told Sirius, "These are my parents. Jean and Daniel Granger."

James slid into the spot on the opposite side of her from Sirius.

He looked up at Hermione and smiled, "You look just like your Mum."

Hermione let out a choked laugh and wiped her eyes. "Everyone always said we looked more like twins than mother and daughter, but I acted more like my dad."

Hermione, similar to how she'd felt on her birthday, couldn't help thinking this was the best Christmas she'd ever had.

* * *

**AN: Lot of emotional turmoil for Hermione in this chapter. So much inner dialogue I had a little trouble getting it to flow right. **

**Thank you (as always) for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**


	19. Advice

**AN: I was sad to see someone reviewed to say they wouldn't be continuing to read because they thought me pairing Hermione with Remus at all if she is going to end up with Sirius is cruel. I assure you, their break up won't be forced OR one-sided.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Advice**

_Dear Hermione,_

_I've been running it over and over again in my head, and I still can't fathom what exactly possessed you to take a chance on me. You're bloody brilliant. You aren't prone to making dumb decisions, so I must hereby assume that dating this sad, half-breed was a momentary lapse in judgement. That said, I'd like you to know that I am enjoying taking advantage of this oversight of yours. _

_Merry Christmas, Hermione. _

_I wanted to get you something more. Something worthy of you, but I'm afraid I was set back by more material matters. I'll have you know, I would give you everything if I could. _

_I'll always be here when you need me, Hermione. I am completely content in my admittance that all five feet of you have taken complete possession of my antiquated and formally idle heart. _

_I'll hope you'll accept that as something worthy of you for Christmas. Though, I believe that's still not enough. _

_Yours Forever, _

_Remus _

Hermione, after reading the letter from Remus, had hugged it close to her heart for a few moments before carefully tucking it under her pillow and pulling out her notebook.

She opened it and under their previous conversation, started writing.

_I have never met someone more worthy, Remus. You could've given me nothing, and I would be happy. _

Hermione after writing that hovered for a moment with the quill over the parchment. Tomorrow morning she would be flooing to Hogwarts and meeting Benjy, Mad-eye, and Dumbledore, to open the Chamber of Secrets.

She looked over at the drawer next to her bed. Harry had said she didn't have to do this alone.

Before she lost her nerve she put the quill back to the paper.

_I have another mission tomorrow._

She sighed and stared at her words. Remus wouldn't react well, she knew. Perhaps, she shouldn't have told him. Almost immediately the notebook warmed in her lap.

_Will it be dangerous? _

_Yes, I imagine so._

_Will you be going alone?_

_No. Dumbledore and a couple others will be coming as well._

_I'm going to spend all day tomorrow worrying about you._

_Try your best not to._

_An impossible task._

She frowned. The notebook warmed again.

_I don't like this._

Hermione's frown turned into a scowl. She didn't exactly like it either!

_I don't have a choice. It's why I'm here._

_I know. _

"Is that your diary, kitten?"

Hermione looked up and slammed the notebook shut.

"That's none of your business."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and her entire face flushed red.

He walked further into the room and before he could reach the bed she vanished the notebook wandlessly.

He stopped to cross his arms over his chest. His grin dropped into a concerned look.

"What about that notebook has you so angry?"

She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. That only made Sirius furrow his eyebrows further. She had already developed a habit of fidgeting with her new pendant when she was hiding something.

She hadn't thought Sirius had caught on to it, but then he carefully sat down in front of her toes and tapped her fingers.

"You've been doing _that_ nearly all day."

Hermione shrugged and chewed on her bottom lip.

"Nervous tick, I suppose."

Sirius looked at her curiously before a look of understanding flashed behind his eyes and he scooted away from her. Her eyes narrowed.

"What was that about?" She asked carefully.

He scratched the back of his neck and looked away from her. After a few moments he sighed and said, "This pendant is supposed to take you to safety."

"Yeah, and?" She responded immediately. When he didn't say anything she lifted her foot up and nudged his ribs with her toes. Sirius reached out and grabbed her bare ankle faster than she could blink. Hermione squeaked in response. His grip on it at first was rather harsh, and then slowly he let out a breath and loosened so that his palm and fingers was just grazing her skin there.

"It's supposed to take you to _safety_, Hermione."

He let go of her ankle, and it was then that she realized what he was implying. He thought she didn't feel safe with him.

His eyes slowly made their way up to hers.

Sirius could see so many things running through her mind. Her dark eyes were burning with intensity and her lip was bright red from how much she'd been chewing on it. He had to look away.

"Sirius…"

He gave her a small smile and said quietly, "It's okay, kitten. I wouldn't feel safe around me either."

He made to get up, but she quite literally, launched herself at him and he had to throw an arm out behind him to catch himself. As soon as he was steady his arms automatically went around her small waist to hold her there.

"What are you doing?" He whispered.

Instead of answering him, Hermione squeezed him harder and said in her most assured voice, "I trust you with my life, Sirius."

He could feel his heart doing the heavy and warm thing it always did when she went full Hermione on him, and he could feel himself beginning to panic. She was too real. Too good.

He squeezed her tighter for a moment before gently pushing her away from him. He cursed himself at the hurt look that flashed in her eyes before she carefully masked it. Dorea would've been proud of her. He scrambled for something to say, and almost hit himself when the question popped out of his mouth.

"Did you see what Marlene got me for Christmas?"

She shook her head and averted her eyes.

He laughed nervously and said, "A shit load of Muggle porn." She gave him an incredulous look so he winked. "Wanna see it, kitten? Might be an excellent bonding experience for us."

That's when James walked in in his pajamas and launched himself on the opposite side of the bed. Face down he mumbled, "Please tell me you did not just ask Hermione to look at that rubbish Marlene sent you."

Sirius smacked James hard on the back and guffawed. "If I remember correctly, Prongs, you weren't too upset to be looking through them earlier!"

James flew up with a tomato red face and yelled, "Lies!" He pointed at Sirius. "He's lying to you, Hermione!"

Hermione just hid a snort behind her hand and said, "I'm sure."

* * *

Hermione barely slept that night. She spent most of it frozen in thought going over and over her plan until she was sure she had every moment memorized down to when she would breathe.

When dawn finally broke through her window Hermione quickly snuck out of bed, changed into an outfit similar to what she'd worn last time, grabbed her bag and went down stairs.

She fixed herself a cup of tea and went to the traveling room.

Dorea was sitting in the armchair close to the fireplace when she walked in.

"Off so soon?"

Hermione cringed and sat down across from her. "I'm a bit early. Couldn't sleep."

Dorea nodded understandably and gave her a calculating look. After a couple moments of silence she raised her wand and locked and silenced the room. Hermione's lips thinned.

"Mum?" She prodded.

Dorea's expression broke for a second to give Hermione a kind smile before it dropped into her typical nearly blank look.

"Stop me if I'm incorrect, dear." Hermione set her tea down as Dorea leaned forward. "These last couple of months, your goal was to acquire Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem and the Gaunt Ring, yes?"

Hermione nodded.

"And did you do those things?"

Hermione nodded again.

"But, I believe something must have gone terribly wrong if you lost all the progress you'd made in your health, and somehow along the way you acquired one-third of the Deathly Hallows. Something that is supposedly a myth, but you and I both know isn't actually a myth because your brother has another third."

Hermione just stared at the woman. "Where is this going?"

Dorea ignored her. "So if you have access to two-thirds of the items that can supposedly make you the master of death, and you _refuse _to let go of these assets even for a moment, my only logical conclusion is that you are preparing yourself to die."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"And if that's not correct than I am sure you are simply holding on to the stone because of its ability to show you the dead." Dorea lowered her chin and narrowed her eyes. "But you are much to clever for just that aren't you, Hermione? Even in your darkest moments you kept yourself alive with thoughts of how to win the war, so that only leads me to the belief that in this time, even at your lowest point, part of you knows that the stone and invisibility cloak will aid you when this all comes to the moment you've been working towards."

Hermione's fingers shook as she laced them together tightly.

"There are always costs."

Dorea eyes widened slightly when Hermione's small words confirmed her line of thought.

Hermione had thought vaguely about what Dorea was saying in regards to the stone and cloak, but it hadn't been a concrete thought in her mind until that moment. Then the thought popped into her mind of what Professor McGonagall had said to her in her third year. She echoed the words now.

"Bad things happen to those who meddle with time." Hermione drained the rest of her tea and went to stand, but Dorea stopped her.

"Do you know why you aren't a Slytherin, my dear?"

Hermione froze and sank back into her chair, "Possibly because I told the hat I'd set it on fire if it put me there."

Not for the first time in their conversation, Dorea completely ignored her. "You may be cunning and clever, but you have none of the self-preservation required. You are a self-sacrificing Gryffindor braveheart completely." Dorea looked Hermione up and down and said, "But you have a Slytherin mother now, so that just won't do."

"I'm sorry?"

"I need you to start thinking like a Slytherin, Hermione. It's the only way you'll make it through this war."

Before Hermione could even think through what she was saying Dorea stood and rested a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

"Stay safe today. Be smart."

Then she started towards the door and said over shoulder, "I am telling the boys you went to your friend Pandora's, for the day."

* * *

The small group of Order members followed Hermione without questions. Hagrid was close behind with the clucking roosters tucked under his large arms. Benjy and Moody looked like they were preparing for an attack any moment.

Hermione almost laughed to herself when she imagined the odd procession they probably looked like. There were very few students staying at Hogwarts for the holidays, and Dumbledore had said he set up some kind of diversion to distract from the second floor.

When they reached Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, Hermione took a moment to breathe as she stood in front of the broken tap with the snake on the side. Harry at one moment in the tent, had insisted on teaching her the parseltongue to open it once they'd realized that Basilisk Venom was the one known way to destroy the Horcruxes besides Fiendfyre. She'd acquiesced because the basilisk was dead, but now here she was about to wake it up again.

"Any reason you're waiting, Pup?"

Hermione without answering him hissed out the word for open in Parseltongue.

As stones began to click and slide and slowly the sink sunk to reveal the tunnel, Hermione turned to look at four surprised wizards.

"Ready?" Her voice broke the silence.

Moody stepped up and slapped her on the shoulder. "You're full of surprises, you are."

Hermione smiled at him before it dropped and she gave them all serious looks. "Remember the plan." She made sure to make direct eye-contact with Dumbledore before turning back towards the tunnel and saying, "As soon as you make it to the bottom move aside, so the other person doesn't land on you. I've placed altered caterwauling charms on items and as soon as we open up into the chamber, I'll move them to the openings of the tunnels. That should give us an idea of its location because they'll be set off by movement within ten feet of them." She looked at all of them. "Don't go near the tunnel entrances, and make sure to only look through your mirrors. Even then, look towards the ground and avoid the eyes."

Before she could lose her nerve she moved towards the tunnel and launched herself down it. She didn't know what exactly to expect. All she had were Harry's story to go off of. What she hadn't prepared for were the skeletons and stones at the bottom. She landed with a thud.

"Bloody hell!"

She jumped and shakily made her way to the side just as Moody landed with a string of curses.

Hermione stepped away and silenced her footsteps before looking around.

"Lumos." The walls were covered in slime and dirt and the floor was coated in what looked like skeletons of small mammals.

Hermione turned back just as Benjy appeared with the Roosters in tow.

Hermione had insisted on Hagrid staying which ended up being perfectly fine by him. He'd been talking to Aragog and had no desire to see the great beast for himself.

Hermione pointed at their feet and all of the Wizards silenced them before she turned back.

The tunnel in front of her was eerily quiet and the only noises that could be heard were the occasional drips of liquids she didn't want to know the specifics.

After one deep breath, she carefully began her slow walk into the tunnel.

She extinguished the light from her wand.

When it opened the first thing she saw was the twenty foot long, slimy skin resting along the stones and then the giant statue of Salazar himself. Hermione quickly levitated the items into each tunnel before looking at Dumbledore.

"Fawkes!" He called.

Hermione hoped this would be able to play out similarly to how it played out with Harry. She'd told Dumbledore that they needed to blind the serpent. As soon as the word left Dumbledore's mouth the sounds of slithering could be heard from one of the tunnels.

Hermione gestured and all of them fanned out to different pillars.

Benjy released the roosters before disappearing behind a column of stone. Hermione accioed the handheld mirror from her bag and held it out.

Suddenly, screams could be heard from a certain tunnel in the chamber. Hermione did her best not to flinch as the piercing wail ripped through the tense air. She swung her mirror out and could see movement from the tunnel she suspected the scream came from.

Just as she did this, she heard the cry of Dumbledore's Phoenix, and she watched as a large gut-wrenching shape slithered out of a tunnel and Fawkes dove for the eyes.

Hermione watched through the mirror as Fawkes blinded the Basilisk.

"It's blind!" She shouted as she ran out from the column and dove behind the next one.

Fawkes cried one more time before disappearing to where she assumed Dumbledore was hidden. Hermione used the mirror to look for the roosters, and she saw them somewhere near the center of the chamber. Before she could do anything the Basilisk appeared right next to the column she'd been standing at previously and it's large body plowed into it. Rocks began to tumble down and Hermione dove, but she wasn't quick enough and one landed on her ankle.

She cried out and slammed her hand over her eyes.

Sightless, she pulled her leg out and used her hands to find her way to the opposite side of the pillar.

Before she opened her eyes she heard the crow of a rooster. She let out a breath and opened her eyes. After one rooster's crow, the rest followed suit. She could hear the hissing of the Basilisk, and right as she peaked around the corner she saw it collapse.

Suddenly, she could breathe again. She'd barely taken a few breaths when Mad-Eye rounded the corner and yanked her up by her elbow.

"Nicely done, Pup!"

She tried not to flinch when she put her foot down. She looked down at it and saw that her ankle was mildly swollen and the skin there was covered in cuts.

Her ribs also ached from her elbow slamming into them when she landed. Her wrist was also slightly swollen.

She patted Moody on the arm and started limping towards the head of the Basilisk. Dumbledore rounded on them then with Fawkes on his shoulder.

"Much easier than I was expecting," he said with twinkling eyes.

Hermione stopped right in front of its wide, unhinged jaw and accioed her dragon hide gloves that she'd borrowed from Dorea as well as a lockable box. She reached up and carefully pulled six fangs from the Basilisk's jaw. After only hesitating for a few seconds she quickly extricated three more just in case.

It was only after she'd carefully pulled the gloves off and put the box back in her bag that she saw Dumbledore and Moody looking around nervously.

"Where's Benjy?"

She asked carefully.

"Lad hasn't shown himself," Moody said gruffly.

Hermione's eyes widened.

Dumbledore cast a non-verbal Homenum Revelio and the three of them rushed down the ghostly path the spell created.

Hermione's breath stopped when she saw Benjy crouched on the ground with the mirror propped up outside of the tunnel the Basilisk had first come out of.

She ignored the twinge in her ankle and ran around him to check for a heart beat. After a moment she breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Just petrified."

Moody levitated Benjy as they made their way out of the Chamber and back up into the castle.

Moody grunted out that he would take Benjy to the hospital wing as Hermione followed Dumbledore to his office.

She was limping and the headache that she'd been dealing with the past few weeks was way worse than it had been before she left. When she reached his office, she looked out the windows and saw the sun was close to the middle of the sky.

"Miss Granger, a word before you leave?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes and remained silent.

Dumbledore took a seat and folded his hands in front of him. She had to force herself not to look at his blackened and cursed fingers. She laced her own fingers together tightly.

"I find I must press something upon you, Miss Granger."

Hermione's frown turned into a scowl. First she had Harry telling her to rely more on his family, then she had Dorea tell her to think more of her own preservation, and now she was sure whatever Dumbledore was about to tell her would contradict either one or the other, if not both.

When she didn't say anything he continued, "I think I may have made a mistake in placing you with a family. It may not be wise to to grow attachments. You have set yourself up to do this task alone. Do not forget, Miss Granger, the possible outcome of your decision."

Hermione physically growled. It sounded to her like he was planning on removing her from the Potter's house and force her into isolation. Was she even a person to him? She remembered how he'd insisted that Harry staying with those horribly abusive muggles was the safest option for him.

"Is that a threat, Albus?"

He seemed amused by her anger when he said, "Not a threat, dear child. Just a reminder."

Hermione wanted to hex him. She wanted to hex him almost as badly as she'd wanted to hex Snape.

She took a few deep breaths and said carefully, "I _will _remain at the Potter's, and trust me when I say, I have done anything but forget the possible outcomes of my decisions."

With that she spun on her heel and flooed to the Manor. Hermione, on a normal day would've remembered that she had to walk through the main sitting room to get to the stairs, but today she hadn't even thought of it.

Sirius and James were on the floor with their miniature quidditch set and Charlus was sitting in an armchair with the Prophet.

All their eyes widened when Hermione stepped into the room with sparking hair and a limp.

She paused when two of the Quidditch Players crashed together and the rest of the players started screaming.

She stared wide eyed at the game for a moment before her eyes darted between the two boys and she quirked an eyebrow.

"How old are you? Twelve?"

Charlus guffawed behind them, and both boys jaws dropped.

James was still sputtering when Sirius jumped to his feet and gestured at her ankle.

"What happened to you?"

He stepped closer to examine her bleeding leg, and Hermione backed away from him. In her effort to stay away she forgot momentarily about her swollen ankle and ended up sprawled on the floor. She groaned from the ground and fell back, so that she was laying sprawled across the floor on her back. When three concerned faces appeared above her, she scowled at them and mumbled, "Pandora has a pet hippogriff."

James suddenly looked very excited. "Bloody hell! I've been wanting to meet one of those! Can we go over there tomorrow?"

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the wrinkles between her brows. "No, James. We will not be going over there tomorrow!"

"What! Why not?"

She threw her arms back to her sides and sighed.

"Hermione, dear, you're bleeding all over my nice carpet," Dorea said as she breezed through the room.

Hermione groaned again and held her hands up. Both boys automatically grabbed her hands and pulled her up, and she winced at the pain in her wrist.

"Dorea, could you help me with healing these?"

After Hermione was healed for the most part she went to her room and locked herself in.

She'd made herself a checklist after her first Order meeting of everything she needed to do. She smiled to herself as she quickly scratched the Basilisk off of her list before grabbing Remus's notebook and scribbling a quick:

_Back at the Potter's. Safe. All went as planned._

After that she went to put the notebook back in her drawer and saw the stone.

Her fingers twitched. Harry and her hadn't finished their conversation from earlier.

She snatched the stone and locked herself in the bathroom. This time she was sure to silence the room. She stared at the door for a moment before deciding to ward it as well.

This time when she flipped the stone she kept her eyes wide open when Harry's spirit appeared.

He was smiling when he said, "Funny seeing you here, Mione."

Hermione smiled sadly at him, and his lips thinned.

"You can't keep doing this."

Hermione nodded and said, "I know." She nodded again and looked away. "I know that, Harry."

Hermione looked at him through the mirror. He looked the same as he had last time, but she found it didn't hurt as much to look at him this time. It still brought a crushing pain, but it also seemed like it was manageable.

Harry gave her an imploring look and said, "Don't listen to what, Dumbledore says, Hermione."

Hermione's eyes widened. He hadn't called her Hermione since First Year. "Harry…"

"No! I'm serious." Hermione's hands twisted in her jumper, so that she wouldn't reach out for him. "He's _wrong _Hermione. You need these people. You need these attachments. I tried to do it alone, and I think that's proof enough that you shouldn't."

Hermione flinched and turned to look at him. "I'm going to save your family, Harry."

He gave her one of his genuine, brilliant smiles when he said, "I believe in you, Hermione."

* * *

**AN: A shorter chapter in comparison to the last two, but I've discovered action scenes aren't my strongest!**

**Thanks, as always, for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Every notification I get is motivation;)**


	20. Frustrated

**AN: CHAPTER 20! WOW! Tbh didn't think I'd make it here this quickly. So happy with the response I've gotten to this story. It started as a self-indulgent, hey might as well publish it, and now here we are.**

**There's some lovely Remione moments in this chapter. The moments you've all been waiting for!**

**Thank you for the support. Hope you're enjoying the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Frustrated**

Hermione knocked on the door to the Evan's home with Sirius and James standing behind her having some kind of conversation.

The door swung open and Lily threw her arms around Hermione immediately. She pulled away and frowned at the boys behind her before moving on to completely ignore them.

"Hermione! Thank you so much for doing this. Did you see the Prophet this morning?" Lily leaned forward and whispered the last part like some kind of secret. She had a grim look on her face.

When Hermione shook her head Lily pulled them all inside and towards the kitchen.

"Tea?" After they all confirmed yes and took a seat Lily went and began rummaging through her cupboards.

"Where's your family, Lily?"

She scowled as she put a kettle on and stared down at the stove top.

"My sister had some kind of showcase event at her school. Didn't want me to go." She smiled up at them then, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's why I suggested today for this! It's perfect. You really don't want to meet my sister anyway."

"Why didn't your sister want you to come?" James asked dumbly and Lily just sighed.

The kettle started whistling, and she began making their tea.

"Hermione, I was actually wondering how you were planning on putting up the wards?"

Hermione accepted the cup of tea and tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"The trace?"

Hermione nodded in understanding. "Right, not a problem. You were talking about the Prophet?"

James and Sirius both raised their eyebrows at her dismissal. That's when Hermione saw the paper sitting in the middle of the table. She snatched it and quickly scanned the first page.

_**Dark Mark Appearance Over Muggle Town**_

_Last night what seems to be a Death Eater raid occured in Painswick. Many Muggle families were found dead of various causes. Most commonly seen was evidence of the Killing Curse and Torture Curse. No Muggle was spared on this tragic night. The Aurors are on the case to trace the crimes to the one's responsible. _

Hermione's eyes watered and she silently handed the paper over to James before standing.

"I'm going to start on those wards."

She finished off her tea and quickly made her way to the backyard.

Lily wiped at her eyes, and they tried to hide their surprise when she actually sat down with them.

James pulled a handkerchief out and handed it to her.

Her eyes widened and she carefully took it. James face broke into a face splitting grin until Sirius whacked him on the back of his head.

"Get it together, Jamie." He hissed out the side of his mouth.

She dabbed at her eyes and gave both the boys an imploring look. "How is Hermione? She seems better." She got a sad look in her eyes when she said, "She was scaring me before we left."

"My mum is taking care of her. She seems to be better. Still has those nightmares though."

Lily gave them a confused look. "Is she staying with you guys?"

"Yeah my Mum and Dad just kind of brought her home one day."

Sirius stood and gave James a pointed look, "I'm going to go make sure she's doing okay."

Sirius heard a smack as soon as he left the room, and just assumed that somehow James had messed up already. Sirius took a deep breath as soon as he was outside, and then he paused right outside the door.

Hermione's hands were both up, and she was whispering under her breath. Every word out of her mouth could be seen in the cold air. The snow crunched under Sirius's boots, and he watched as slow ripples of magic emanated from her wand.

Once he was right next to her he waited as she finished the warding magic with her eyes squeezed shut. She stopped and he followed the track of a single tear down her ruddy cheek.

He reached out and caught it with his thumb.

"What happened to your parents, kitten?"

She let out a puff of air and slowly opened her eyes.

"They're gone."

His lips thinned. She turned towards Sirius and smiled up at him.

"I'm okay. I still have family. You and the Potter's."

She reached up and brushed her thumb across his stubble and he stopped breathing. He was trapped again, and he couldn't help thinking that meeting Hermione would somehow be the end of him.

He caught her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to her wrist.

"Come on, kitten. It's cold, and James is ruining all his chances with Lily."

She let out a laugh and wrapped her hand around his elbow as they began to walk inside.

"Oh dear. We're going to have to help him with that. Give him some tips."

Sirius guffawed and put his hand over hers.

"You don't think it's hopeless?"

Hermione gave him her mischievous smile and grabbed onto her pendant. "Something makes me think he still has a chance."

When they walked inside it was to James down on one knee, and Lily literally holding a chair up like she was prepared to hit him over the head with it.

"You sure about that, kitten?"

* * *

Hermione was shocked when on the morning of New Year's Eve she woke up to someone gently brushing the curls from her eyes. She opened her eyes and groggily said, "Still sleeping."

She closed them before they flew open again, and she gave a brilliant smile.

"Remus!" She threw her arms around his neck, and he laughed as he fell into the bed next to her. He pressed kisses to both her cheeks and her forehead before he pulled her face away to look at her.

"I didn't realize it was possible to miss someone this much after not even two weeks," he whispered.

She smiled softly at him and kissed him full on the mouth. He reciprocated immediately and before they knew it he was balancing his weight on top of her. Hermione shivered when his hands feathered over her ribs and stopped at the bare skin peaking out between her pajama bottoms and her shirt.

She rolled her body up into his, and he groaned and pulled away from her to rest his forehead against hers.

He peppered light kisses on her face and said so that the words ghosted across her lips, "Not a good idea."

She smiled and rolled her hips again, and he stifled his groan by burying his face in her hair. She smelled like cinnamon and evergreens. She could feel his arousal through his trousers. "You sure, Remus?"

He put gentle pressure on her skin to hold her down, and lifted his face. Despite her teasing words she was blushing and chewing on her bottom lip nervously. He used his thumb to gently pull her bottom lip from her teeth before his fingers grazed over her cheeks. He smiled when she sighed.

"Not a good idea because your very protective brother told me I could wake you up only under the agreement that he'd be back in five minutes to make sure I wasn't doing anything unsavory."

She rolled her eyes and moved her hands from his sides to wrap around his neck. "I think this is the first time James and Sirius have woken up before me."

Remus smiled fondly at her and pulled on one of her curls, "Yes, well, you've slept in quite late today. I've been here for two hours. Got here right at eight. Dorea insisted I let you sleep, but I found I couldn't wait any longer."

Hermione's eyes widened. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd slept that late.

"Plus, your mum would like help preparing for tonight's party."

"What party?" Hermione asked with narrowed eyes, and Remus rolled off of her and pulled her with him.

"Did she not tell you about the party? The Potter's have a New Years party every year. Nice dresses, drunk adults, and lots of food."

Hermione groaned and rested her head on his shoulder. "That snake!"

Remus chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair before pulling her to her feet. He pulled her into a tight hug, and she pressed closer to him when his hand ghosted over her spine.

"Your mum is in her room. Said something about you picking out a dress."

"Are you coming down?" She asked into his chest.

He coughed nervously and pushed her to arms length.

"I've got to take care of something first."

Hermione gave him a confused look before her eyes moved down and widened.

The blush from before crept down her neck and she forced herself to look back at his embarrassed face.

"It's close to the full moon… and…" He trailed off and Hermione actually giggled into her hand. He gave her a withering look and pushed her out the door.

Right before it shut she heard him mumble, "Saucy little witch."

She was still giggling when she made it to Dorea's rooms across the Manor.

"What has my darling daughter so amused?" Dorea took one look at her blushing cheeks and smirked. "Perhaps, it has something to do with the young Mr. Lupin that is taking up residence in our home for the next few days?"

"He's staying for a few days? That's wonderful!"

Dorea laughed at her and pulled her towards her large closet where she had three dresses hanging up, but Hermione only had eyes for one.

"The theme tonight is starlight. I've bought the boys ties that shine, and I must say, they look rather dashing."

"There's a theme?" Hermione said nervously.

Dorea smiled amusedly. "Quite. Now I found I was rather taken with this one."

Dorea pointed towards the one in the middle that Hermione had been staring at, and she gave Hermione a patient smile.

"The people coming tonight are all trustworthy. Members of the Order that you've met, and your dearest friends. I believe it is time you start wearing your scars with pride, dear."

Hermione's eyes widened.

It wasn't that she was _ashamed_ of the scars. She just didn't like the stares, the pitying looks, the _questions_.

Hermione took a moment to look at the dress Dorea was pointing towards. It was black with small specks of silver that sparkled throughout the fabric. It was sleeveless and came down in a modest V with a very small tulle ruffle lining the hem there. The skirt itself was the same tulle material, but Hermione could see that it would still hang rather flatly at her ankles. It was A-Line style.

It was beautiful, and Hermione really, really wanted to wear it.

After only a moments hesitation Hermione nodded quickly. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

Dorea clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Tilly! Bring this dress up to Hermione's room please."

Tilly also started clapping her hands. "Oh… Mistress Hermione is to look so beautiful. She will shine tonight!"

Hermione blushed again and said quietly, "Thanks, Tilly."

But she spoke too soon because the tiny elf's hand flew up and she pointed at Hermione's head. "Only _if _Mistress Hermione deals with that mess. That is one mess Tilly won't fix, no she won't!"

Hermione threw her hands up and scowled.

Dorea gave a tinkling laugh before smirking at Hermione, "Yes I have a plan for that!"

* * *

Hermione's eye twitched as she stared at herself in the mirror. She could hear the party downstairs. People had started arriving half an hour ago, but she couldn't find it in herself to walk out of her own bedroom. Her hair was somehow tamed into loose big curls with the front pieces clipped back with shining star clips. Hermione didn't know how Dorea did it, but the dress fit her like it was made for her, and for the first time _ever_ she felt like she actually had the curves of a woman. Dorea had smirked when she'd seen her in it and said, "I knew you had it in you."

Hermione was starting to think Dorea had wanted a daughter so badly just so she could play dress up with her. She knew that wasn't true though. Hermione's eyes dropped to her arms, and she sighed.

She didn't even move as her door creaked open and someone appeared in the door of the loo. Someone with distinctly green eyes. Hermione's closest female friend back in her timeline had been Ginny, and they still had never gotten as close as her and Lily already had.

"Lils!"

Hermione threw her arms around Lily before pulling back and looking at her friend. She was wearing a midnight blue strapless gown with a soft silver sash around the middle.

"You look beautiful, Lily. That dress is amazing."

Lily scowled at her and said, "Yes, well, James made sure to announce to the entire room that I was the most beautiful girl at the party."

Hermione laughed and said, "He's not teasing, you know? He means every word he says."

Lily gave her an incredulous look, and Hermione laughed again.

"I'm serious!"

"No, I'm Sirius."

Hermione gasped and stood on her toes to look over Lily's shoulder. "That joke is never going to be funny, Sirius."

He smirked and leaned against the doorway. "What are you beautiful ladies doing hiding up here anyway?"

Hermione ignored the way his eyes traveled up and down her form and grabbed her pendant. Both of her friend's eyes landed on her bare arms, and she sighed.

"_That _is why I am hiding. Lily is just hiding from Jamie."

Hermione turned away from them and took a few deep breaths. She could do this. Own it. Not be ashamed. Her scars were _her_ business and that was that.

She felt a hand on her elbow and flinched, but the hand didn't let go.

"I don't think anyone will be staring at your arms when they see you in that dress, kitten."

Lily sidled up on her other side and smiled gently at her.

"He's right you now. That dress is incredible."

Hermione flattened her palm against her chest, so that the pendant was trapped underneath it. She took a few deep breaths and smiled up at Lily. "How did my brother manage to convince you to come?" Lily rolled her eyes at the change in subject and started pulling her towards the door. Lily and Sirius both held on to one of her elbows as they led her down towards the party.

"Actually it was Remus. He said something about you being in desperate need of a girly conscious or some another." Lily winked at Hermione who giggled.

"Will you stay tonight?" Hermione asked hopefully.

Lily simply stuck her chin up and said, "Already packed a bag."

Sirius snagged a glass of champagne off a passing floating trey and downed it in one go.

"Excellent! I love slumber parties."

Hermione laughed and narrowed her eyes, "You, sir, are not invited."

Sirius's hand flew to his chest and he managed to look properly scandalized. "I can be a girly conscious."

Both girls were laughing when a blushing Remus appeared in front of them.

"Hermione," he said softly.

Lily let go of her and grabbed Sirius by the back of his dress robes. "That's our cue girly-boy!"

Hermione laughed again before turning back towards Remus. His black dress robes had small silver bits all over it in the same fabric as her dress and Hermione smiled up at him. Dorea was too clever for her own good.

"We match, Remus."

He stepped up to her and tucked a curl behind her ear, "And you're still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Hermione could only stare up at him. Her eyes watered and Remus gently brushed his thumbs under her eyes.

"None of that tonight, love. You'll mess up all of Dorea's hard work."

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest at the endearment, and she collapsed in his arms.

"Remus, I…" Whatever Hermione was about to say it was interrupted when she felt a tug on the hem of her dress.

"'cuse me!" Hermione pulled away from Remus and looked down to see a small red-headed boy smiling up at her with a toothy grin. "You very pwetty! My mummy said I can't talk to stwangers, but my daddy said to always act like gentlemen." Hermione giggled into her hand and the small boy held his arms out to both sides and wiggled his fingers. Hermione without a moments hesitation leaned down and picked him up. He was definitely a Weasley.

"Well hullo to you too. Thank you very much, you are a very good gentlemen. What's your name?"

The boy grabbed her cheeks between his tiny fingers and giggled. "Chawie!" Hermione could feel Remus's hand on her waist and his nose in her hair.

Hermione cheeks were pushed together when she said, "That is a very wonderful name! Very strong."

"Thank you vewy much. What's your name?"

"Hermione." Hermione turned slightly to the side and added, "And this is Remus." Charlie waved enthusiastically at Remus.

"Herminny and Wemus!"

Hermione laughed and Charlie reached forward and grabbed her dragon pendant.

"This is a dwagon! I love dwagons!" Hermione almost cried at that, and she pressed closer to Remus behind her.

"Yes I imagine you do, Charlie. I love dragons also." She took a deep breath and said, "Now did you run away from your mum? She must be worried sick!"

Just then a blushing Arthur appeared in front of her and said, "Charlie, there you are! Your mum is worried sick!"

Charlie giggled and yelled, "Minny just said that, daddy!"

Hermione smiled at the young and tired looking man. "Hullo, Arthur. Charlie here, was just telling me how much he loves dragons."

"Dwagons are the best!" His tiny fisted hands flew in the air at that right as a flushed Molly appeared with a one year old in her arms.

"Oh, Charlie! Don't ever disappear like that again, you understand?"

Hermione grinned at the woman and said, "It's quite alright, Molly. Charlie here was a perfect gentleman!"

That's when the fifth Weasley appeared by running right into Hermione's legs and wrapping his tiny arms around her knees.

"Mummy! Mummy! That man over there is missing a leg and an eye!"

"Bill, dear, let go of Hermione and come here."

"Bill, Minny likes dwagons too!" Charlie yelled.

Bill looked up and grinned at her.

He stepped back and gave a deep bow, "Hullo, Minny. My name is William Arthur Weasley."

"Hullo." Hermione turned towards Arthur and Molly and grinned. "You've got a small army of gentlemen on your hands."

"Yes, our hands are quite full, as you can imagine," Arthur sighed out.

Hermione just smirked at the young couple and wondered if they had any idea that they weren't even halfway there yet. Arthur reached out and took Charlie from her arms despite the toddler's protests. Hermione leaned fully back into Remus.

"You're looking well, Hermione," Molly said kindly. "You look beautiful tonight." Hermione realized then that Lily and Sirius were right when Molly and Arthur didn't even glance at her arms.

"Thank you, Molly. I loved the jumper you sent me. It's been a while since I've had a nice handmade jumper." Her eyes watered and Molly's keen eyes must have realized why she was crying because her own eyes teared up.

"I'll be sure to make you one every year then!"

Hermione beamed. "I would love that! In return, I'll babysit whenever I'm home, so you and Arthur can have some time to yourselves."

"Oh you don't…"

Hermione waved off her protests and gestured to Remus behind her. "Don't worry. I'd love to. I'll even make Remus come with me for some extra hands."

Remus laughed behind her and said, "Is that so?"

"Well, dear, I'll owl you!" Percy started crying in her arms, and Arthur whispered something in Molly's ear. "We'll leave you to socialize, Hermione. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything!"

Once the Weasley's had dispersed into the crowd Hermione spun and faced Remus.

"Fancy a babysitting date?"

Remus smiled softly at her and said, "You're going to be a wonderful mum one day."

Hermione looked up at Remus's green eyes nervously. She'd never even thought about being a mum until that moment. Her eyes stung, and Remus held her face.

"Remember what I said, Hermione."

She blinked rapidly and stared at the ceiling which Dorea had forced Charlus to charm like the ceiling of the Great Hall. "Right. Don't ruin Mum's hard work."

Just then, James appeared and grabbed her hand to start dragging her through the crowd.

"Hermione, guess who's here!"

James gestured behind her for Remus to follow and soon they were dragged in front of none other than the Prewett twins who were already being accosted by a preening Sirius and anxious Peter.

When Hermione was pulled right in front of the twins they stood at attention and actually saluted her.

Peter, James, and Sirius all turned and looked at her with wide eyes.

She gave them a nervous look before scowling at the twins.

One of them dropped to one knee right in front of her and took her hand from James.  
"Dearest Hermione!"

The other twin dropped as well and took her other hand. "Our joint heart yearns for you!"

"The one woman immune to our charm!"

"We vowed to never take another..."

"Until you accept our deepest love and affection!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled her hands away, "Stand up, you prats!"

They both jumped up in unison and winked at her. "We do everything-"

"Our dearest wishes of us."

She scowled at them and crossed her arms over her chest.

Sirius suddenly couldn't take it any longer and gestured between the twins and Hermione. "And how do you three know each other?"

Hermione said reluctantly, "We met once."

At the same time the twins said, "A soulmates spell led us to the abnormally small witch!"

"Not true," Hermione growled.

One of the twins smiled at her mischievously and leaned forward to whisper, "And how do you know that isn't true, little witch? Brother, I think her frail feminine heart can't handle the truth!"

She raised an eyebrow and said, "I don't endorse everyday sexism."

They both guffawed.

"Besides…" She turned around and said over her shoulder, "Even together, you half-wits wouldn't be able to keep up with me."

She began to walk away and could hear them yell behind her, "You wound us, little witch!"

She walked until she found Lily standing in a corner having a conversation with Professor McGonagall.

She started making her way over when she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She inwardly sighed before turning and finding a smiling Andromeda Tonks with a young Nymphadora in her arms. She looked to be the same age as Charlie.

"Sorry to bother you, Hermione. I just bared witness to that sad interaction with the Prewett twins. I think they received invitations purely based on their entertainment value. I can see they were giving you quite a show?"

Hermione smiled at the smirking witch and said, "Being right pains in my arse more like."

Andromeda gave a light chuckle and looked over Hermione. It was the first time someone had blatantly stared at her arm all night, but Hermione stood firm with a straight spine.

"I understand, that you might have been making a point at that meeting when you refused my apology, but I sincerely wish for acceptance."

Hermione started to speak, but Andromeda raised a hand up to silence her in a way similar to Dorea.

"I may not be directly responsible, but Bella was still my sister."

Hermione flinched at the nickname.

"I knew since we were children that something wasn't right with her. She bought in too easily to our parents blood-purist propaganda. Cissa sat prettily and never argued, but Bella took the ideas and ran with them. I should've known. I should've known what she would become, and I should have done something about it."

Hermione studied the tired Witch in front of her.

"I meant what I said then, and I mean what I say now. I accept your apology despite how unnecessary I deem it."

Hermione's gaze flickered to the young Nymphadora who was watching her curiously. Hermione grinned when her hair morphed to match Hermione's big curls.

"And you must be Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that!"

Hermione's eyes widened. "What should I call you then?"

Nymphadora hid her face in her embarrassed mum's shoulder. "Dora," she mumbled.

"Well, Dora. It was very nice to meet you." Hermione smiled kindly at Andromeda and said, "It was good to see you, Andromeda. Have you spoken with Sirius? I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."

Sirius materialized next to Hermione then as if he had heard her talking about him, "Say my name, kitten?"

Hermione blushed when Andromeda smirked at the pet name Sirius used. That's when Sirius noticed her standing there.

"Andy! I didn't know you were coming!"

He reached out and pulled the surprised woman into a tight hug with Dora sandwiched between them.

Sirius pulled back and did a double take between Dora and Hermione. It was then that Hermione realized she had changed her eyes to Hermione's brown and freckled her nose and cheeks to match.

"Kitten, do you have a kid?"

His eyes had noticeably softened at the small Hermione lookalike in his cousin's arms. It was uncanny to see a miniature of _his _kitten right in front of him. Hermione's eyebrows wrinkled when a small blush appeared across his cheeks. It was the first time she'd seen him blush.

Andromeda cleared her throat and said in a knowing nature, "This is my child actually, Sirius. Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that!" Dora changed her hair color and eyes to match Sirius's then and his grey eyes widened.

He grinned at her. "You must be little Dora!" He beamed at his cousin. "A metamorphmagus. I had no idea!"

Hermione smiled at the interaction and excused herself to find Lily again. She spent the next hour making rounds with Lily as they sneaked glasses of champagne and avoided all the boys.

They were giggling behind the draperies when Remus appeared and immediately slid between them into their hiding space.

"What are you two doing hiding behind Dorea's draperies?"

"I'm hiding from James. The boy is un... unrel... unrel... _unstoppable_ tonight! That frustratingly adorable toe-rag!"

Hermione's jaw dropped and she placed a hand on Remus to hold herself steady before peaking around him and glancing at the oblivious Lily.

"You just called my brother frustratingly adorable!"

Lily gave her a confused look. "I would never! And what do you mean brother?"

Lily's cheeks were flushed, and Remus gave her a curious look before turning towards Hermione who finished off her fifth glass of champagne of the night, set it on the windowsill, and leaned her cheek against Remus's bicep.

Remus smiled happily at her and then turned his head back and forth between the two a few more times before saying, "Are you two drunk?"

Hermione smirked up at him and held her thumb and pointer finger up. "Just this much!"

Remus grinned at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You know your toes are peaking out from under the draperies right?"

Hermione gasped and pulled away to look at Lily again.

"Lils! This spot is compromised. We have to keep moving! Constant Vigilance!"

Lily nodded seriously and said, "Perhaps we could hide under the dining room table?"

Hermione grinned and bopped Lily on the nose, "Brilliant! Just brilliant!" Remus laughed when he got pulled out from behind the curtains by Hermione, and he laughed even harder when Lily latched onto his other hand and said, "Don't leave me behind. James will find me and then I'll _have_ to kiss him at midnight!"

Hermione paused in her determined walk.

"Merlin! Brilliant again!"

She then switched directions and led them like ducklings through the crowd until they were standing in front of James and Sirius.

Lily blushed madly and glared at Hermione as Remus gave Sirius and James an amused look.

"Remus, how long until midnight?"

Remus pressed a kiss on top of her head and said, "Actually just a couple minutes. That's why I came to find you."

"Oh, wonderful!" Sirius gestured at Hermione and Lily before mouthing the word drunk and Remus nodded with a huge smile on his face.

Hermione let go of Remus and pushed Lily in the direction of a very confused James.

"Jamie, don't let her leave your side until after midnight!"

James's eyes widened and before he could say anything Hermione grabbed Remus yet again and pulled him away from the two blushing teens and the clearly entertained Sirius.

"Where are we going now, love?"

Hermione stopped walking when they reached the small sitting room branching off of the main room. It was empty, and the only light and noise was coming from the open door. When she closed it the sound was muffled and they were bathed in moonlight.

Hermione smiled up at him from under her eyelashes, and Remus had to take a deep breath.

She pulled him to the burgundy, velvet sofa in the middle of the room. Remus sat down, and he gasped when Hermione climbed on his lap with both her legs folded up on his sides. Her dress was hiked up around her knees, and she was giving him that smile that always resulted in him melting into a gooey, devoted puddle.

"Hermione…"

She had her small hands resting on his shoulders when she said quietly, "I like when you call me love, Remus."

He smiled amusedly up at her. "You do?"

"Yes. It makes me feel all warm inside."

"Like champagne?" He asked cheekily and she swatted him. She sighed as she leaned her forehead against his.

They could hear a countdown begin in the other room.

He held his breath all the way up until the cheers began and watched her faithfully as she slowly leaned forward and kissed him.

It was slow and gentle at first. Remus tangled one of his hands in her curls and the other wrapped around her waist to pull her closer. Her breasts pushed against his chest as one of her hands snuck into the hair at the nape of his neck and the other landed on his cheek.

The kiss grew heated quickly and before she knew it Hermione was subconsciously rolling her hips on top of him and gasping at the friction. After a moment, Remus had to pull away.

"Hermione, I don't think…"

She interrupted him by crashing her lips against his again and slowly inching one of her hands under his suit jacket and tugged on his tie. He could feel himself losing control. The full moon was in a few days, and his frustration was peaking. When her fingers began to undo the top buttons of his shirt, one of his hands landed on her knee and began to snake up under her dress on her bare thigh. Her skin was so smooth, and she continued to rock against him. Remus groaned against her mouth, and his hand trailed up until he felt the lace trim on her knickers. His hand squeezed her hip before making it's way around to her bum.

"Remus," she whispered against his lips like a prayer, and he swore his heart was about to give out from how hard it was beating.

It wasn't until her other hand pulled his shirt out from his trousers and her fingers landed on the trail of hair under his belly button that he pulled away.

He moved both his hands, so he was stopping her movements and dropped his head against the back of the couch. He could smell her normal aroma of cinnamon and evergreens, but on top of that he could smell her arousal which wasn't helping his situation.

"Hermione," he groaned.

His own arousal was straining painfully against his trousers.

"Did I do something wrong, Remus?" She asked nervously when he didn't say anything.

His head flew up and he looked up into her anxious brown eyes. "No!" When she jumped at his exclamation, he removed one of his hands and smoothed her hair behind her ear. She was chewing on her bottom lip. "No, Hermione. You're perfect." She still looked anxious, so Remus leaned forward and gave her a tender kiss. When he pulled away he rubbed his thumb on her hip bone in gentle patterns. "You're drunk. And on top of that, the full moon is in a few days. I don't want to lose control with you. I don't want the first time we do anything to be on your parents' sofa with fifty people outside the door."

Hermione flushed and for the first time since she pulled him into the room, she looked ashamed.

"No, love, don't do that." He reluctantly pulled his hand from under her dress and smoothed out the wrinkle between her brows.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her nose against his neck. When she pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat he groaned again.

"There's no way, I'm going to be able to walk out of here with all those people out there." He kissed the side of her head and said, "You saucy, little witch."

Hermione giggled against his neck and Remus's face broke into a smile.

* * *

Remus ended up having Hermione disillusion him to sneak upstairs for a cold shower, but not before he helped Hermione with her appearance and snogged her one last time against the wall.

When Hermione emerged she ran right into Sirius.

People were slowly starting to leave the party, and the room was mostly empty by this point. Sirius looked her over once before leaning forward and actually sniffing her. Hermione in her dazed state just stared at him. When he pulled away he was smirking, but there was something in his eyes that Hermione couldn't be bothered to identify.

"Why do you smell like sex, kitten?"

Sirius had watched as Hermione disappeared into that room with Remus, and then waited nearly a half hour for her to emerge. When she did, and he saw the tell tale ripples of a disillusioned form sneak out of the room, he'd frowned. He had walked up to her and immediately cursed his heightened senses from his animagus training when her scent had attacked him. When he'd looked at her, her entire skin was flushed and her lips were rose-colored and swollen.

She somehow managed to blush even more at his question, and he'd watched attentively as the skin beneath the dragon pendant started to turn pink.

"Have you seen, Lily?" Hermione asked shakily.

"I think James showed her where your room is."

Hermione nodded before reaching up and kissing him on the cheek. She patted his chest when she leaned away and smiled happily up at him, "Happy New Year, Sirius."

As soon as she was gone Sirius groaned and figured Remus had the right idea in sneaking upstairs.

* * *

Hermione opened her door and quickly shut it behind her. She leaned against it and slammed her head back into the wood.

"Oh, Merlin!" She breathed out.

"Hot night?" Lily asked from the middle of her bed.

Hermione rolled her eyes and launched herself onto the bed on her stomach. Lily laid down next to her and they stared at each other for a moment before breaking out into raucous laughter.

"I kissed James on the cheek," Lily said after they finally calmed down. Hermione grinned at her.

"I tried to assault, Remus."

That made Lily laugh again and she said quickly, "I don't think it's assault if they enjoyed it as much as Remus did." Hermione eyes widened and Lily added, "I ran into a _very _frustrated teenage werewolf on the stairs right after his disillusionment charm broke." It was Lily's turn to grin at her. "He was looking quite unkempt with a half-unbuttoned shirt and completely undone tie. His hair was also a right mess. All of that made complete sense, of course, when I saw his trousers." Lily whistled, and Hermione jumped up to hit Lily with a pillow.

Sirius, James, and a freshly showered Remus stood in the hall as they listened to the sound of the girls' screaming laughs followed by a few thuds.

"We're definitely doomed," said Remus nervously.

James just smiled at the door and said, "She kissed me tonight." He pointed at his cheek as both wizards spun on their friend. "Right here." He sighed dreamily. "I shall never wash this cheek again."

He cried out when both his friends punched him.

* * *

**AN: I smiled nearly the entire time writing this New Years party. All the dialogue and interactions were so much fun to write!**

**Thanks, as always, for the follows, reviews, and favorites! **


	21. A Birthday

**AN: Almost 300 followers! WOW. Sorry if it's annoying how excited I get, but I seriously never expected this response. I'm so redundant lol.**

**Remember when I was excited about 20? I sure do.**

**WARNING: This chapter is why this fic was rated M. I don't typically right smut (like ever). **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Birthday**

Hermione had scowled when her and Lily had been brushing their teeth the muggle way next to each other that morning and Hermione had noticed the clear differences in their appearances. Lily had somehow evaded bed head while the bun on top of Hermione's head was the very definition of the phrase.

Hermione was wearing her pajama shorts and one of James's old Quidditch jerseys. Lily was wearing a fitted tank and plaid pants.

When they came downstairs and sat down for breakfast, all three boys had stopped mid-grape throw and stared at them. Remus's sensitive mind immediately went to the thought that girls always seemed to look more beautiful to him, Hermione specifically, in the morning when they were natural and messy. Sirius and James's mind went down a much darker path.

Charlus had looked between the girls and the boys in confusion, and Dorea had smiled knowingly.

James couldn't look away from Lily who was serenely buttering a slice of toast and doing a fine job of pretending like he didn't exist.

Sirius's eyes were glazed as he imagined Hermione wearing a jersey with, 'BLACK' on the back rather than, 'POTTER.'"

Remus was smiling dazedly to himself as he fixed Hermione's tea and the vision of Hermione walking in in a large Quidditch Jersey with her messy hair and bleary eyes played on replay in his brain.

"Good morning!" Lily said pleasantly. She primly put the cloth napkin in her lap and poured herself a cup of pumpkin juice. She smiled happily at Dorea and Charlus and said, "Thank you so much for having me in your home! It's lovely."

Dorea smiled approvingly at her. "Anytime, dear."

Hermione grumbled under her breath and blew one of her wayward curls from her eyes.

"Did you have fun last night, Lily?" Lily's eyes shot up to Charlus's genuinely innocent face and blushed madly.

"Yes, it was a lot of fun. Thank you for inviting me."

"Yes, well both of our children are quite taken with you."

Hermione smiled secretly and looked up at James who was still staring intently at Lily.

"Jamie, your food is getting cold."

Sirius snorted.

* * *

Lily left shortly after, but not before she told Hermione that kissing James on the cheek was a mistake because now he was never going to leave her alone.

Hermione had just smiled at her knowingly and pushed her into the floo.

A few days later Hermione spent the entire train ride asleep on Remus's shoulder, happier than she'd been in a long time.

* * *

Hermione had been reading a novel in bed when she felt the galleon she kept shrunken in a locket charm on her bracelet warm up.

Regulus. Hermione immediately set her novel aside and popped the charm open.

When she pulled out the galleon and returned it to its regular size she saw the small words inscribed on the coin.

_Astronomy Tower. _

Hermione didn't even bother with shoes or a cloak as she disillusioned herself and quickly made her way to where they had first talked before break. When she made it she found Regulus in the exact place he'd been last time.

Hermione removed the disillusionment charm and cast a Muffiato.

"Regulus?"

He slowly turned and looked at her. He took one look at her large jumper, pajama shorts, and fuzzy socks and raised his eyebrows.

"You're going to catch your death out here like that, Pet."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not a pet, Regulus."

He smirked in a way that reminded her so much of Sirius that she had to physically take a step back. "You know, the nickname isn't going anywhere. You might as well get used to it."

Hermione sighed and stepped up to stand next to him close to the edge.

"You going to jump? We could do it together."

Hermione looked up at him with narrowed eyes, "I don't partake in dark humor."

"You wouldn't."

She looked him over. He was still in his uniform, and she noticed sadly that it hung limply on his form. He was wearing an expensive looking black cloak, and he had deep bags under his eyes.

"Now who isn't taking care of themself."

Regulus smiled sadly at her and said, "Yes, well, it seems we're both piss poor at that." The corners of her mouth twitched and she turned to look out over the grounds.

"What happened when you went home, Regulus?"

Instead of saying anything, Regulus held out his left arm and rolled his sleeve up. Hermione forced herself to stare at the dark mark that stood in stark contrast to his pale skin and started blinking rapidly. She let out a sob and reached up to pull his sleeve down.

"Bloody Gryffindors," Regulus said softly.

"I'm sorry. I should've gotten you out of there. I should've forced you to come with me to the Potter's."

"You could've tried, but there was nothing you could've done that would've worked."

Hermione looked up at him and choked on her tears when she whispered, "I'm going to help you." He looked down at her intensely.

"How?"

Hermione wiped her eyes and pulled away. "I don't know yet."

Regulus laughed humorlessly at her and pulled away. He took a few deep breaths and when he turned to look at her again she could see the poorly masked rage in his expression.

"How do I know you aren't working for them? That this isn't some messed up ploy from the Dark Lord! That he isn't testing my loyalty?"

"I'm not!"

"How do I know!"

The paranoid and mad boy from before break was there. He looked scared and anxious. His eyes drifted down to her left arm like he could see a Dark Mark through the fabric. She glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not working for him, and I may not be sure how to get you out, but what I _am _sure of, is what it takes to kill Voldemort. And _that _is my plan."

Regulus's eyes widened and he shook his head. "You can't." He gestured to her, "You're just a sixteen year old girl who doesn't eat and befriends outcasts! Don't look me in the eye like that and tell me you can take down one of the darkest wizards of all time!" He stepped close to her and his eyes looked dark and dangerous. "Don't insult me like this. I don't even know why I am bothering to talk to you."

He started to walk away when Hermione said, "Ever heard of Horcruxes, Regulus?"

He froze, and she could see all the muscles in his body tense like he was preparing for an attack.

"I'm sure you have. I've seen the library at Grimmauld Place, and I have read the books in there. Two in particular stand out in my memory. Did you read _Magick Moste Evile_? What about _Secrets of the Darkest Art_?"

Regulus spun and gave her a maddened look that made him look more like he belonged in the Black family than he ever had before. "How have you been in Grimmauld Place? It's warded against-"

"Mudbloods?" Hermione finished for him with a sneer.

She stepped up to him until they were only a foot away.

"Voldemort made six. I have two so far. I know what the other four are, and where they are. I have the means to destroy them, so _you _need to stop insulting _me_."

Regulus stared at her with an unidentifiable look in his eye. Her scowl dropped and the same devastated expression from before returned.

"I can't get you out now." He seemed to slowly deflate at that. "What I _can _do is end this war."

When he looked back into her eyes this time, she could tell that he believed her.

"That's where you come in, Regulus."

He frowned down at her and said quietly, "So I go from being used by the Dark Lord to being used by you? No thanks, Pet. I'll suffer alone."

"I'm not using you," she insisted. He gave her an incredulous look, so she continued, "If you choose to continue on alone, you will force yourself into isolation. The only being you'll ever feel close to again will be your house-elf, Kreacher. You'll do everything your Dark Lord says, until one day he asks for use of your elf. Kreacher will return delirious and nearly dead, and that's when you'll discover that Voldemort used him to test his protective measures on one of the Horcruxes. You'll do your own research, find out what _truly_ has to happen to split your soul and be sickened. You won't be content anymore in silently taking his orders, and you'll decide to go after it on your own. You'll _die_."

Regulus was shocked into silence by her words. He had grown more and more pale with every word that came out of her mouth. She wasn't supposed to know these things. She was just supposed to be an annoying Gryffindor bleeding heart. He'd had his suspicions about the odd witch who had appeared out of nowhere one day, but this took it to an entirely new level.

"I won't be using you. I have all the information I need, I can do it alone." Hermione paused and blinked a few times before saying strongly, "But I don't want to do it alone. _And _I don't want you to die, Regulus Black."

Regulus sounded tortured when he asked quietly, "Why wouldn't you want me to die, Hermione? You have no idea what I have done." He pointed at his arm. "You have no idea what I had to do to please my parents. What I had to do to get _this _burned into my arm." Hermione thought of the raid in the Muggle village that had been splashed across the Prophet.

She shook her head. "I know that you didn't want to do those things. I know that you have been forced into this terrible situation where you felt you had no choice. I am _giving _you a choice." She smiled up at him, "And I don't want you to die because I'm a bloody Gryffindor, and I'd like to think we're friends."

He smiled then. "I don't have friends."

Hermione cocked her head to the side. "Acquaintances?"

Regulus paused and took a moment to sort out his own mind. He didn't know why, she had presented _no_ evidence, but for some reason, he believed every word that came from her mouth. There was something about Hermione that just fostered blind faith.

But Regulus didn't do blind faith. He didn't do _faith_, period. He made decisions based on research, facts, and deep-seated loyalty. He'd thought loyalty to his family, the Great and Noble House of Black, would serve him well, and now he had a great shame burned into his skin forever. He looked down at the small witch in front of him and surprised himself when he found he trusted her to be loyal to him. He trusted her to save him from this dark and twisted path his familial loyalty had taken him down. But most importantly, he trusted her to _never _betray him.

It was with that unsettling feeling on his mind that he asked the next question.

"How does partners sound, pet?"

* * *

Hermione, indeed, caught her death by meeting Regulus in the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night in the form of a muggle cold. She spent all week sneezing, achy, and extremely irritable much to the concern of the Marauders and Lily.

Regulus had sent her a package of tissues through the school owls with a note that said:

_Told you so, Pet._

She'd responded by transfiguring the Galleon to say:

_Not friends my arse._

After that they hardly spoke.

January and February passed in a blur which Hermione happily spent studying for OWLs. Something she had seriously neglected to do all year.

On the night of Remus's birthday, March 10, Sirius, James, and Peter decided to throw a party in the Gryffindor common room where every member of the house older than a Fourth Year, save Remus, Hermione, and Lily, got royally pissed. Remus, Lily, and Hermione had opted out based on the fact that Remus's birthday fell on a Wednesday, and Hermione suspected that Remus was still feeling ill after the Full Moon the previous weekend.

Once the festivities began to die down, and James had proposed to Lily thrice, the Gryffindors began to slowly stumble up to their beds.

Once it was just Remus and Hermione in the common room, she had looked over at him and smiled nervously.

"I have a surprise for you, Remus."

Remus had spent the past two weeks begging his friends not to get him presents, and, of course, none of the Marauders had listened. Remus now had a stack of new books, a new cloak, and a truly gigantic pile of sweets to his name.

Remus glanced at her with a small smile on his face. He gently took hold of her elbows and pulled her so that she was on his lap on the couch. He tucked her hair behind her ears, and gave her a questioning look.

"I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone." She chewed on her bottom lip anxiously, and he responded by doing what he always did and carefully pulled her lip out with his thumb.

"Why are you so nervous, love?"

Hermione glanced around the common room before jumping to her feet and pulling him with her. Remus could feel his heart pounding erratically in his chest as she led him to her room and quickly shut the door behind her. He sat down on the bed and watched her as she took a few steps to stand in front of him.

She'd been working on this since the beginning of the year and had perfected it at the beginning of the semester, but had been waiting for the perfect time to show him.

She gave him a shy smile before shutting her eyes, concentrating, and shifting into a Lynx right in front of him.

Remus's eyes widened before he broke into the biggest grin she had seen from him since New Years.

He laughed joyfully when the small wildcat jumped on the bed and did a few circles before sitting down right next to him. The Lynx was beautiful. It had sandy brown fur with dark spots like a leopard and large pointy ears, but the _eyes, _they were Hermione's deep chocolate brown.

He reached out and touched her soft ears lightly and the large cat purred into his hand.

"Hermione… you're bloody brilliant." He ran a hand down the spine of the cat, and smiled even bigger somehow when the animal shivered. "This is why I love you," he said without thinking. As soon as the words left his mouth the Lynx's sharp eyes looked up at him and Remus's widened. He squeezed his shut as tight as he could and held his breath.

He'd known he'd loved her since New Years Eve. He'd suspected before then, but then he'd seen her in that dress and watched her with those kids, and he just _knew_. He'd wanted to tell her right then, but he'd been scared. Then she'd gone off with Lily and gotten drunk on champagne and for two months after that everytime she did anything that made him think about how much he loved her, he'd decided that the moment wasn't right. The moment had to be perfect because Hermione was perfect. And now here he was saying it to the small wild cat in front of him and not the human form of his girlfriend. He let out a breath and dropped his head in his hands.

"Don't say anything," he begged. Then he groaned in frustration and added, "I mean you can't because you're a bloody cat right now, but when you turn back don't say anything." He sighed and looked at Hermione, who still hadn't transformed back to a human and continued, "I meant it, okay? I love you, but I wanted to say it to you in a perfect way. Maybe on an actual date or maybe not a night where you've shown me this bloody amazing thing you've done to aid the monster on full moons." He growled out. "You don't have to love me back. I figured you don't, but I do love you, Hermione. I'm not expecting anything truly, I just…"

Before he could keep rambling and make even more of a mess of himself, Hermione climbed into his lap and transformed back into a human.

When she was herself again she was straddling him, and staring right at him with her big, warm, _tear-filled_, eyes and holding on to him like she never planned on letting go.

"Of course, I love you," she breathed out to him.

He stared at her in shock before pulling her so that she was pressed so close to him that nothing could come between.

"You mean it?" He asked in a timid voice. Before she could answer he whispered, "Because I am completely in love with you, and weak, and my heart wouldn't be able to take it if you said that to me and didn't mean it."

Hermione pressed a kiss behind his ear before speaking against it so that every word caused her lips to feather across the skin there, "I mean it with every part of me, Remus John Lupin."

He let out a breath of air and with it left all the anxieties he'd had about the strength of his own feelings, and when he breathed back in he could feel that same heart-wrenching, pounding feeling he always got around his witch.

Without words he carefully maneuvered them, so that they were laying on the bed with Remus on top of her. He took a moment to just look at her.

"I love you," he whispered before leaning down and capturing her lips in the most searing kiss he'd ever had in his life.

He pulled away and said again, "I love you," before pressing an open mouthed kiss to her jaw.

"I love you," he moved lower and pressed a kiss on the side of her neck and Hermione gasped and arched into him.

He said it over and over as he kissed down to the neckline of her sweater. He reached for the hem and looked at her in a silent question. She nodded smally at him, and he began to pull it up at a torturous pace. His knuckles skimmed over the skin of her torso, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Once it was off completely he looked down at her and could see the nervousness in her eyes. It was the first time he would be seeing the white criss crossed scars across her abdomen from dark curses.

"The scars… they're-"

"Beautiful," he interrupted. He slid down her body and began to kiss every one of the scars littering her skin with faithful attention, and her eyes began to water.

"I love you, Remus." She choked out.

That seemed to be too much for him and he pulled up to look at her. His hands moved up her ribs and stopped at the edge of her white lace bra.

"Say it again, Hermione."

She smiled at him when she whispered, "I love you."

His lips crashed onto hers and his hands moved so that they were carefully cupping her breasts through the fabric. Her fingers found the hem of his shirt and she started tugging it up. Remus pulled away to allow her to pull it off.

When her fingers traced the scars on him and she said, "Yours are beautiful too, Remus," he felt his last bit of restraint snap. He reached around for the clasp of her bra, the whole time his lips refused to leave hers. Her legs wrapped around his hips, and she pulled him down closer. When his arousal rubbed against her center she moaned into his mouth and he pulled back to look at her.

"Hermione, are you…"

"I'm sure," she said breathlessly.

She reached for her wand on her bedside table as Remus unclasped her bra and took one of her nipples in his mouth. She cried out at the sensation and then quickly cast the contraceptive charm that Marlene had forced Lily and Hermione to learn a couple months ago. She also locked and silenced the room before her hands went down to the button of his trousers, and she tugged them undone.

She used her feet to push them down his legs before Remus broke away to kick them off. When they got stuck around one of his ankles, Hermione covered her mouth with her hand and giggled.

He finally got them off and turned back to her with that mischievous expression of his that always left no doubt in her mind that he was a Marauder.

"You'll pay for that, witch."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, but her expression changed completely when he reached down and pulled her trousers and knickers off in one go, and suddenly he was touching her in a place that she had never even dared to touch herself before. She bucked against his hand and gasped out, "Oh, Merlin!"

Remus had never even kissed a girl until Hermione. He was going purely on what his instincts were telling him and Hermione's reactions.

He smiled against her neck before beginning to suck on the skin there.

Hermione could hardly breathe with all the feelings rushing through her. She could feel this tension coiling in her stomach as Remus slowly pushed one finger into her and rubbed circles with his thumb against her most sensitive spot. She was sure she was close to release when she reached up and tugged Remus's boxers off quickly and her small fingers wrapped around his length. Remus groaned, and Hermione felt the vibrations through her body. She experimentally moved her hand up and down and when Remus's hips shot forward, she assumed she must be doing something right.

Remus grabbed her wrist and said huskily, "I won't last if you keep that up, love."

Hermione moved her legs to wrap around his hips again and slowly guided his tip against her entrance with her hand.

Remus's fingers were bruising on her hips when he lifted his head to look at her.

"Are you sure?"

She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Remus. I'm sure."

He couldn't take it anymore and he quickly thrust into her.

Hermione cried out in a mixture of pain and something else, and Remus pressed gentle kisses along her jaw and up her cheek where a few tears had leaked out.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hermione."

Hermione gave herself a moment to adjust before she rocked her hips experimentally and tightened her legs around him. Remus moaned before pressing his lips against the corner of her mouth.

"I love you," he whispered.

Hermione rocked her hips again and said quietly, "Move, Remus."

He needed no further urging and slowly began to move inside of her. She was tightening painfully around him, and Remus knew he wouldn't last very much longer. One of his hands left her hip and moved back to that sweet spot that had her gasping earlier.

She moaned and gasped out, "Remus," and he swore it was the sweetest noise he'd ever heard. She smelled like she had on New Year's Eve, and she looked so beautiful beneath him, and she _loved _him. When her fingernails dug into the skin at his shoulder blades and she cried out his name before quivering around him, Remus followed her over the edge and thrust into her one more time.

They were both breathing heavily when she gentled her touch and ghosted her fingers across his spine. He pulled out and collapsed beside her before pulling her body close to his and pressing kisses all over her face. She giggled against his chin, and he pulled away to look at her.

"You're perfect," he sighed against her cheek before collapsing on his back in exhaustion.

She wrapped one arm across his torso and lay her cheek against his chest right before Remus reached over and pulled the thick comforter over the both of them.

"_That _was perfect, Remus."

He took a moment to smile smugly to himself before he realized something. "You can _never _tell your brother, Hermione. He would kill me."

Remus felt her laugh reverberate through his body and he smiled down at the top of her messy curls.

"If you want this to keep happening, you have to agree to never bring up Jamie when I am in bed with you."

Remus's eyes widened and he pulled her tighter against him. "Okay. Never again. Promise." She pressed a kiss against the skin right above his heart, and Remus wondered if she could hear how fast his heart was still beating.

She sighed dreamily and he listened devotedly to the sounds of her breath slowly evening out as she fell asleep.

Remus drifted off sometime later trying to imagine if it was in any way possible for him to have a better birthday than this.

He seriously doubted it.

* * *

Hermione's eyes blinked open slowly.

Remus could feel her lashes butterflying against his bare chest. His hand went to her curls, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She stretched her body against his and he groaned.

"Hermione, you can't do that."

She looked up at him blearily and blushed. When she bit her lip and smiled, Remus didn't think he could ever be as happy as he was in that moment. "I suppose I should go back to my room before they wake up and realize I'm not there."

She crossed her arms across his chest and rested her chin on her hands. She looked into Remus's spring green eyes and smiled secretively.

"I love you, Remus."

That would be the fifth time she'd said she loved him, and he still couldn't believe it. He was keeping count in his mind.

"I love you too," he whispered.

Just then there was a knock on the door and before Hermione could say anything a very flustered Lily flew into the room with a stack of notes.

"Hermione, I'm freaking out about the History of Magic exam today, I don't know what…"

She trailed off when she finally looked up to a blushing Remus with Hermione hiding under the covers on top of him.

"Oh my god!"

Lily dropped her notes all over the floor and put her hand over her mouth. She giggled behind her hand and Remus turned even more red.

Lily pointed at Remus and then pointed at the lump that she guessed was Hermione. Remus wasn't wearing a shirt, and she could see discarded clothes on the floor including a pair of forest green boxers and one of Hermione's white lace bra.

When she finally looked back at the mortified Remus it was to Hermione slowly emerging from the blanket with a nervous look. She had love-bites on her neck and her hair was all over the place.

"Hey, Lils…"

Lily giggled again and pointed between the two of them before raising her eyebrows.

"Happy birthday, Remus, am I right?"

* * *

**AN: Regulus's story always makes me so sad. **


	22. Mine

**AN: This chapter has some development in the Sirius department since he's been neglected these past few chapters. WOOT**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Mine**

Ever since Lily walked in on them in bed, she had decided to make Hermione's life a living hell. Cleverly masked comments about Hermione's virtue were made as often as any opportunity presented itself. Remus (after he got over his own mortification, and it was replaced with masculine pride) thought it was hilarious and often laughed much to the confusion of Sirius, James, and Peter, who didn't understand the meaning of any of the comments.

It took two months for the comments to die down, and that was mostly because of OWLs. Lily was a frenzied mess, but surprisingly, Hermione was calm.

What was the importance of OWLs in comparison to everything else she had to worry about?

It was a few weeks before exams when Hermione and Lily got stopped on their walk to the library one Saturday morning.

They were surrounded by Slytherins. Hermione pulled her wand from the waist of her skirt and gripped it at her side. Lily just froze up at her side. Hermione looked at the four standing around them. Her eyes paused for a moment when she met Regulus's masked grey ones before moving away quickly.

"What are you two ladies doing all on your own?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Nott. "That is none of your business." Nott bristled and Hermione said, "Now we'll be on our way."

Hermione went to walk past them, but she was stopped by a firm grip on her elbow. "Not so quickly, minx," hissed out the voice of none other than Yaxley. "You know what your boys did to me after our little _encounter_? I've been meaning to get you alone since then, but you are constantly flocked by your army of blood-traitors."

Hermione gave him no reaction, and he said, "Surely you haven't forgotten what happened?"

His hand left her elbow and reached for her waist, but Lily hit him with a stinging hex.

"Don't touch her! I'm a prefect! I'll take points!"

Yaxley growled and looked over at Snape which neither girl had noticed sulking against the wall until that moment.

"You hear that, Sev? Your little mudblood will take points!"

"She's not mine," Snape whispered.

"What was that, Sev? Didn't quite hear you."

Snape pushed off the wall and glided up to the group of people, "I said, she's not my-" Hermione prepared for Snape to make another grave mistake by calling Lily a mudblood again, but they were saved, by multiple definitions of the word, by the booming voice of Sirius.

"What's going on here?"

He was walking up to them in his usual stride. Once he was at their side he grabbed Lily's elbow and stared down at Yaxley dangerously.

"Yaxley."

"Black. How's your disinherited life treating you?"

"Quite well actually." Sirius's eyes landed on his brother, and he scowled. "How's mummy dearest, Reg? Has she started beating the living shit out of you yet?"

Regulus stepped forward dangerously, "Now, now, Sirius, we both know she reserved that just for you."

Sirius launched towards his brother, and Hermione jumped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Sirius, no!"

"Let go of me, kitten. I've got to teach this prick a lesson," he said lowly.

"_No_, Sirius. Let's just go."

"You hear that Sirius? _Kitten_, says to go," Regulus drawled.

Hermione glared at Regulus over her shoulder before turning back towards Sirius and latching onto the fabric of his shirt.

"Come on," she pleaded.

She could feel his chest expanding rapidly with his breaths through his shirt. Lily was standing closely behind him shifting nervously.

Sirius's eyes left Regulus's and landed on Snape's for a moment. He scowled and spat at the floor at his feet.

He turned his eyes on Hermione's desperate ones and carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I'll escort you ladies."

Lily stepped up next to Hermione and wrapped her hand around her elbow.

Sirius's arm grew dangerously tight around her as they passed Yaxley who licked his lips and whispered, "Not over, Minx."

Hermione shivered and Sirius pulled her tighter.

Once they were out of earshot Lily said, "We need to tell, Dumbledore!"

"It'll make it worse. Make them more angry," Hermione said quietly. Her free hand went to her dragon pendant. If they went to the Headmaster that would guarantee another interaction between Hermione and them, and Hermione couldn't afford to draw anymore attention than she clearly already had. Sirius must've thought she was still shaken over Yaxley because he gently took her hand from her pendant and kissed her wrist as he'd been doing since that day they'd put up wards at Lily's house.

"They won't get to you, kitten. I promise."

Hermione stared up at him for a moment, but had to look away. His grey eyes were burning and so _sure_, but he had no idea.

"Severus… do you think he was about to call me... that slur again?" Lily had hesitated before saying the word that she still couldn't force herself to say.

Hermione's head snapped towards Lily and she was about to deny it when Sirius said, "Definitely. That greasy git. I wish I could get my hands on him."

Hermione elbowed him and looked at Lily. She looked near tears.

"Lils…"

"No. It's okay." She smiled up at them. "I'm okay…"

She pulled away from Hermione. "On second thought, I think I'll study in my room."

Hermione watched as Lily ran away before they could do anything. She didn't want her walking alone, so she was about to go after her when she saw Dorcas appear at the other end of the corridor. Hermione looked up at Sirius with a scowl on her face, "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true!" Sirius wouldn't look at her as he started walking towards the library again, but she could see something in his eyes that she didn't like. "No use lying to her."

When she didn't move his arm slipped from her shoulders. Her mind was whirring. That look meant something. She knew there was something in her memory that would tell her what was about to happen, but it was like it was behind a locked door. She tried to focus harder.

"Kitten?"

She didn't respond and instead started gnawing on her bottom lip in thought.

"You're making me nervous," she vaguely recognized Sirius turning around and walking back towards her. One of his hands landed on her cheek, and that's when it hit her.

The full moon was that night.

_I wish I could get my hands on him._

She gasped and looked up at Sirius. His grey eyes were on fire with concern, and she got lost in them for a moment before shaking herself.

Her eyes watered. If Sirius let Snape sneak into the Shrieking Shack tonight as some type of revenge, Remus would be destroyed. She remembered the older Remus telling her one night in Grimmauld Place's library that it had taken him months to fully forgive Sirius.

She couldn't let this happen to Remus. She couldn't let this happen to _Sirius_.

"Hermione, what's wrong?"

She couldn't come out and just ask him not to do it, he was too smart for that. He would get suspicious and ask questions. She just needed to make sure that Sirius didn't have any interactions with Snape.

She was going to have to play dirty even though she didn't like it. Her feelings were already so close to boiling over, that it wasn't difficult.

She let the tears fill her eyes before launching herself in Sirius's arms. Her fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt, and she pressed her face into his chest. His arms automatically went around her, and his nose went to her hair.

"You're scaring me, kitten."

Sirius took a deep breath and pulled her closer. Turning down that corridor and seeing Yaxley's hand reaching for her waist had been a terrifying moment for him. After Yaxley and the others had attacked her back in October, him and James had cornered them in Hogsmeade for some muggle retribution.

Now Yaxley wanted his own retribution in the form of hurting Hermione. Sirius wouldn't let that happen.

"Will you stay with me, Sirius?" She whispered against his chest. "I don't want to be alone today." Sirius thought about what she'd said. He'd had a plan regarding Snape. Hermione shifted and looked up at him with her red rimmed and watery eyes, and his train of thought stalled. He couldn't say no to her like this. He'd never be able to.

"Of course, Hermione." He wiped at her face with his thumbs before pulling her back against his chest. "Anything."

* * *

They ended up going to the Room of Requirement which Sirius found overly compelling, and he spent a few hours sitting in the middle of the room imagining things he needed and waiting for them to pop up.

Hermione meanwhile spread out in front of the fireplace to work and tried to keep an eye on Sirius the whole time.

A couple hours after they had the room make them lunch, Sirius sprawled on the sofa and thought about his plan.

It was fool proof really. Let Snivellus overhear him talking about the whomping willow, and then scare him a bit once he made it there. Snape was such a suspicious git, that there was no doubt in his mind he would come that very night to investigate.

"Hey Kitten I'm supposed to meet Jamie to discuss a very important prank." He sat up to gauge her reaction to his excuse for leaving, and he stopped breathing.

She was on her stomach with her cheek on one of her texts, and there was a golden hue from the fire surrounding her. She looked like an actual angel. Her hair had been in a neat braid down her back this morning, but now her curls were springing forth in their usual manner.

Her mouth was slightly open as she breathed deeply in sleep. Her skin was pink from the fire.

He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and watched as her eyelashes fluttered softly against the tops of her cheeks.

He dropped his own cheek against his fist and sighed.

"Merlin, kitten, what are you doing to me?"

She wrinkled her nose in her sleep rather adorably, and Sirius ran his hand through his hair.

"You wouldn't want me to do it. You'd say Snape isn't worth it. You'd say something bad would happen if Snape came tonight," he whispered.

These were the thoughts that had run through his mind for the past five hours.

"You said I was a good person."

_You're a good person, Sirius Black._

Sirius had his head in his hands when Hermione's eyes opened blearily.

"You'd say that Remus would never forgive me."

Sirius groaned into his hands.

"And I am having a conversation with a sleeping girl. Madness."

Hermione was blinking up at him when she said faintly, "He would forgive you."

He lifted his head and just stared at her.

She blew a curl from her eyes and tucked one of her small hands under her cheek.

"He would forgive you because you're his best friend. He would forgive you because he's Remus."

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment.

_Because he's Remus._ Hermione's adoration for his best friend, though frustrating, made complete sense. He may be a werewolf twelve nights a year, but every other hour of the year he was Remus. Gentle, forgiving, _kind_ Remus. Sirius knew himself well enough to admit that he wasn't exactly any of those things.

When he opened them again, she looked desperate.

"But that doesn't mean you should do it, Sirius."

"You don't know what I'm going to do," he said quietly.

Hermione gave him a calculating look, and he watched as her clever eyes ran over him a moment before narrowing.

"You react before you think, Sirius. You seek vengeance for people you care about. People you _love_." He could feel an itchy, heavy feeling take over his body. She looked so calm, laying there, as she revealed his deepest vulnerabilities. "Your actions have consequences, Sirius." He stood up and lay down on the ground next to her.

"And what exactly are my actions, kitten?"

She looked into his eyes when she whispered, "Tonight's the full moon. You're worried I'll say Snape isn't worth it, and you're worried that Remus will never forgive you." She took a deep breath and said, "I suspect you plan on somehow slipping to Snape about the Shrieking Shack."

When Sirius didn't say anything she reached out and grabbed one of his hands from where it had been resting on his chest. She kissed his wrist like he had been doing to her, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Vengeance," she muttered.

He grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and laced their fingers before returning them to his chest.

"How do you know so many things?" He asked under his breath.

She let out a single laugh before it turned into a sobbing hiccup. She wished she could live a regular life without knowing these things. Saving Snape was a sacrifice for her.

"Don't do it, Sirius. _Please._"

He pulled her by her hand until her cheek landed on his chest. His hand went to her curls as he soothed her hiccuping form. He could feel something dark and angry building up in him. How could she not understand why he wanted to do this?

"How can you stand up for him? After what he's done? What he's called Lily?"

She didn't want to save him. She'd wanted vengeance herself ever since she'd found out what had happened in 1993.

But she didn't want it at the cost of Remus's progress with his own self-hatred. Or her progress in convincing Sirius he was a good man.

"I know _everything_ he has done, but this won't solve anything," she hissed.

Sirius's hand paused. He could hear the implications in her voice, and his anger was replaced with concern. "Has he done something I don't know about, Hermione?"

Hermione pulled away immediately and wiped at her eyes.

"No! Nothing."

Sirius could see her pulling away, both physically and emotionally.

He reached out and pulled her back down.

"I won't do it, okay?"

She returned to her previous spot, and he listened to her breathing slowly calm.

"Just go back to sleep, kitten. I know you haven't been sleeping lately. We'll stay here until it's time to meet Moony."

Sirius cast a cushioning charm on the ground and relished in the rare feeling of her in his arms.

* * *

Remus woke up from his much needed nap to an empty dorm and a strong desire to see Hermione.

She'd said something about studying with Lily.

He went and dug through James's trunk and pulled out the map.

He ignored the insults from the fellow Marauder's that were bleeding into the parchment and quickly said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

After a quick scan with no results, he realized that Hermione must be in the Room of Requirement. Lily and her had taken to studying there on the weekends because it was quieter and easier to focus without any distractions.

He made his way there as quickly as he could manage after putting the map back and asked simply for Hermione as he paced. When the door appeared he wasted no time in walking in, but he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him.

Hermione wasn't alone.

"Sirius?" he asked angrily.

Sirius's head turned toward him slowly, and he held a finger to his lips. Remus stepped up and took a closer look at Hermione. Her face was red and blotchy, and she was breathing deeply from her mouth.

When Remus's eyes returned to Sirius he mouthed Snape, and Remus nodded. He quietly walked up to them and gently tucked a curl behind her ear.

"I'll take her, Sirius," he whispered. He looked up into Sirius's eyes one more time before adding dangerously, "She isn't yours to protect."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "She's all of ours to protect, Remus. You, Jamie, Me, and even Pate.

Remus didn't say anything as he carefully pulled Hermione into his arms before carrying her to the couch. She didn't wake as he sat sideways with his back pressed into the arm of the chair but snuggled in closer to his chest.

When Remus looked back at Sirius his eyes were that bright amber color.

"She's _mine_, Sirius."

Any amount of anger Sirius had faded away like a disappearing ghost.

"I know that, Moony."

Sirius stood and took one last look at Remus.

On his way out he whispered again, "I know that."

* * *

Sirius seriously considered following through with his plan for Snape once he'd exited the room, but then he kept hearing Hermione crying and saying _please_, and he found himself unable to do it.

He found himself marching all the way to the fifth year girls' dorm, and when he finally got there he was breathing heavily and filled with that itchy, vulnerable feeling.

"Marlene," he growled out.

She took one look at him and gave that sad understanding look that always made him sick to his stomach. She followed him to his dorm and didn't argue as he pulled her into his bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm using you like this," he whispered against her neck.

"I prefer to think of it as a mutually beneficial agreement."

* * *

After that full moon the rest of the school year passed quickly and immediately following OWLs they were finally heading home for the summer.

At the platform, Hermione met Lily's parents and then insisted Lily come visit at the beginning of July.

After that, Hermione was pulled along by Remus to meet his own parents. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles as they moved through the crowd.

"My parents… they aren't like the Potter's Hermione," he said into her ear. "They aren't… friendly."

Hermione squeezed his hand and said quietly, "I have had my fair share of unfriendly, Remus."

Remus smiled sadly down at her before stopping in his tracks and taking a deep breath. He pointed with his free hand towards a solemn looking couple, separated from the crowd.

"There they are."

Hermione smiled up at him reassuringly and started pulling him towards the two people he'd pointed out. She tried to ignore Remus's physical resistance all the way up until they paused right in front of the two nervous adults staring them down.

"Mum, Dad, this is Hermione."

Remus's dad looked unnerved as he stared down at Hermione. Hermione met his stare before smiling pleasantly.

She held out her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lupin." After a few silent moments and meeting Remus's pleading eyes he took Hermione's carefully and shook it quickly.

"Yes. Mutual."

Hermione turned towards the stoic woman and held her hand out again. "You as well, Mrs. Lupin."

"Please call me Hope, dear."

After she'd shaken both of their hands she tilted her head up and smiled happily up at the clearly relieved Remus.

"You've been staying at the Potter's due to unfortunate circumstances, I hear," Mr. Lupin said gruffly.

"Lyall!" Hope hissed. Remus's hand landed on Hermione's waist.

"No it's quite alright," Hermione said strongly. Her fingers wound into Remus's shirt over his ribs.

"What were these circumstances, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Father," Remus growled. Lyall didn't spare Remus a glance as he continued to stare down Hermione. She could see suspicion in his cold green eyes so different from his son's.

"Though you have overstepped in every way imaginable, I will tell you if it eases your suspicions," Hermione said dangerously. She had no respect for the man before her after all the stories she'd heard. She had given him the benefit of the doubt, and he had disappointed her.

"Hermione, you don't have to," Remus whispered close to her ear. Hermione's fingers tightened on his shirt.

"My parents were muggles. They're… gone," she said carefully. She hoped her implication was clear. Lyall Lupin worked for the ministry, and she knew there was no way the current political climate of the wizarding world had escaped his notice.

By the slightly disturbed look on his face she could see he understood.

"I hope your… curiosity is satisfied," she said solemnly.

"Hermione!" She heard James yell from across the platform. "Mum and Dad want to leave! Tilly prepared a feast!"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Remus's father one more time before turning and smiling pleasantly at his silent mother.

"It was nice to meet you, Hope."

The woman smiled at her apologetically. Hermione could see the kindness in her eyes, and she imagined this was where Remus's gentle nature came from. She felt his hand lightly tugging her closer by her waist. She spun slowly in his arms and wrapped hers around his middle.

"You'll visit soon?" She whispered into his neck.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I promise, love." He pulled away and looked at her seriously, "Can't leave you alone with Sirius for too long, I'm afraid."

"Kitten, hurry up and kiss Moony goodbye, I'm starved!"

Hermione laughed and said quietly, "Speak of the devil."

Remus kissed the corner of her mouth and rested his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I'll come after the first full moon."

"Remus, you told her?" His father hissed under his breath.

"She found out, father. You'll find she's quite clever," he said fondly.

"Hermione!" James yelled again.

Hermione kissed him one last time before pulling away.

"I love you, Remus," she said proudly as she stepped backwards away from him. He smiled brightly at her.

"I love you, Hermione."

Before Hermione could turn towards her own family someone wrapped their arms around her waist and threw her over their shoulder. She was thankful she'd changed out of her skirt into her muggle denims on the train. She squeaked and started hitting James's back. She could hear Remus's laugh as the distance between them quickly grew.

"Put me down you prat!"

"Hermione, you're going to see our precious Moony in less than two weeks!"

When he finally put her down, it was not gently at all and she ended up sprawled on the stone ground in front of an amused Charlus and Dorea.

"Hello, Hermione dear. How were your exams?"

"Fine," she said grumpily.

Charlus reached down and helped her to her feet. "Son, I am disappointed in your treatment of your sister."

"Oh, come on dad! We were about to witness her full on snog Moony! That is unacceptable!"

"I agree!" Sirius said gallantly before dropping to one knee in front of her. "Sir James and Sir Sirius only wish to defend the lady's honor!"

James also dropped to one knee and Hermione scoffed. "That vagrant besmirches your good name, milady!"

"You two took notes from the Prewett twins, I see," Hermione said in disdain.

"Ah! She speaks on the Prewett twins, good knight!" Sirius yelled. Hermione glanced around in embarrassment and saw Dorea doing the same. Charlus reached for Dorea's elbow and Hermione watched in betrayal as they made their way to the exit of the platform.

"Good men, those fellows," James said earnestly.

"Much better than that Remus hoodlum who seeks our innocent kitten's virtue!" Hermione flushed in distress and grabbed Sirius's elbow to yank him up.

"Okay that's quite enough! No talks of my virtue necessary."

Sirius smirked down at her and said, "Is that because there's no virtue to be mentioned? Didn't know Moony had it in him!"

James slapped his hands over his ears right as Hermione covered her cheeks with hers.

"Sirius, stop!" Hermione could feel the burn traveling down her exposed neck, and she reached down to pull James up as well to usher them out as quickly as possible and hopefully divert the conversation.

Sirius's eyes widened in shock as he watched her blush spread down her body, "You're not denying it?"

Hermione avoided his eyes and said firmly, "Let's just go."

James quickly ran after his parents with his hands still over his ears, and Sirius snapped his fingers.

"Bloody hell! All of Lily's comments make sense now!" Sirius laughed. "Evans was calling you a slag for turning our Moony into a man!"

Hermione turned around and hit him over the head.

"Don't tell James, you arse!"

Sirius was still laughing when he threw his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, kitten, kitten, kitten…"

Sirius smiled mischievously down at her scowling face.

"I'm going to hold this over you forever." Hermione scowled further as they got closer to the exit.

"Sirius, please don't."

"Sorry, love. You're going to have to do much more than beg."

A gust of wind blew her hair closer to his face, and he was hit with her scent. Cinnamon and evergreens. Just as it always was. He suspected in the deepest recesses of his mind that if he smelled Amortentia, it would be like pressing his nose into her soft curls.

Suddenly the humor in the situation wasn't clear anymore.

He pulled her closer right as they reached the wall.

"Okay. I won't tell, Jamie," he said quietly.

She smiled gratefully at him before disappearing into the wall.

He took a deep breath and made a decision.

He couldn't be as close to her anymore as long as she was Remus's.

* * *

**AN: To be honest, I have had all of this written for a couple days now, but I've been sitting on it because the chapter feels incomplete. BUT problem is I am a BIG outliner and this is all I had outlined for this chapter and my brain wouldn't let me leak any from the next over so here we are. Sorry for that pointless explanation. **

**Thanks, as always, for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Hope you're enjoying reading as much as I am enjoying writing!**


	23. Sitters

**AN: We're hitting 100k words with this chapter. Holy shit honestly. Probably halfway through? **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Sitters**

Hermione was surprised when just a few days after she'd arrived home, she received an owl from Molly Weasley asking desperately for Hermione to watch the boys for the day, so she could tend to a family emergency regarding Aunt Muriel.

Hermione would've owled Remus to come with her, but the full moon was the next night, and being around three energetic Weasley boys surely would be grating. She instead found herself asking James and Sirius to accompany her as they laid on blankets outside to enjoy the oddly warm day.

"Babysit? Your a sitter now, Hermione? Since when?" Asked James.

"Since I encountered the Weasley's at New Years. They have three little boys," she said fondly.

James got an excited look on his face. "We could take them on the brooms, Sirius!"

Hermione laughed and swatted James on the arm. "Absolutely not! Maybe Bill, but certainly not Charlie and Percy."

James wiggled his eyebrows, "We'll see." He turned towards Sirius. "You coming, Sirius?"

Hermione watched as Sirius carefully avoided her eyes. He laid back and stared up at the clouds above head. "Actually, I am quite tired. Think I'll stay in today."

James shrugged and jumped up, but Hermione stayed still and studied Sirius.

"You coming, Hermione?"

"Actually, just give me a moment, Jamie. Will you go tell Mum and Dad where we're going?"

James looked between the two curiously before nodding and disappearing back inside. Hermione turned back towards Sirius who still wouldn't look at her.

"Everything alright, kitten?"

Hermione ignored the question and said, "Sirius, is there a real reason you don't want to come today?" Just this morning he'd been talking about how excited he was to fly around the grounds.

Sirius finally looked up at her, but he quickly looked away. "We need some distance. We shouldn't spend so much time together."

Her eyes widened, and she asked faintly, "Why?"

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose, "You're Remus's."

Hermione's cheeks flushed in indignation. "I'm not anyone's. I'm not an object, Sirius."

He looked up at her and smiled fondly, "It's okay, kitten. He belongs to you also."

It was then that the implications of his words hit her, and she took a deep breath. She was flooded with the memory of that night with the Mistletoe.

"Are you thinking about it?" He asked quietly.

She feigned innocence. "Thinking about what?"

"That night in the common room. With the mistletoe." She looked away, and this time, she flushed for a different reason.

"No," she whispered.

"Liar," he said breathlessly.

When she didn't say anything he sighed and rolled his head away again.

"That's why I need distance, kitten."

Hermione sucked in a breath before standing and brushing herself off. She stared at him for a moment and was about to say something when he interrupted her.

"It's alright. You don't have to say anything."

She let the breath leave her and said, "Please don't pull away from me, Sirius."

He rolled onto his side, so his back was to her. "Have fun today. Don't let Jamie kill those children."

James came running out then and grabbed her hand before pulling her in the direction of the house.

"Come on, Hermione! I want to meet these kiddos you're so in love with!"

Hermione took one last look at Sirius before letting James pull her to the floo.

"The Burrow!"

Once she was through the green flames, she smiled at the complete chaos the Burrow was in. Charmed objects were flying through the air and she could hear Molly yelling at Arthur from the direction of the kitchen. James stepped through after her and grinned at his surroundings.

"Arthur! Don't bring any of your muggle devices! You know how Muriel feels!"

Hermione laughed at the familiarity.

"But Molly, dear, I've just discovered this wonderful thing called a ball-point pen!"

"Arthur, no!"

Just then a small red-headed boy ran into the room and came barreling into Hermione.

"Minnie!"

She smiled down at the boy and crouched to give him a hug. "Young, gentleman Bill! I'm very excited to spend the day with you." Bill grinned toothily at her and pointed up at James.

"Who's this?"

Hermione stood back up and put a hand on James's shoulder. "This is my brother, James. He's going to spend today with us also."

Suddenly Charlie ran in and stood right under James.

"Does he like dragons too?"

James smiled excitedly. "I love dragons!"

Hermione couldn't stop laughing as they spent the whole day playing games, riding brooms, and listening to Charlie and Bill's highly imaginative stories.

Right before Molly and Arthur were due home and the boys had been put to bed James and Hermione had collapsed, exhausted, in the living room.

"I have never been this tired in my life," James said dramatically as he held a hand to his forehead and sighed.

Hermione laughed for the umpteenth time that day before she thought about going home. Going home to Sirius. She frowned and James looked over at her.

"What is it, Hermione?"

Hermione looked at him without saying anything, and he gave her a knowing and sad smile that reminded her so much of Harry.

"I may seem like an oblivious idiot, but I think I know what's going on."

Her eyes widened, and she looked away.

"Sirius isn't very good about hiding his feelings," he continued.

Hermione's frown deepened.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"There's nothing to say."

For the second time that day she got called a liar. "That's obviously not true."

Hermione sighed and lay her head on his shoulder, "Sirius said he needs some distance between us."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, and James wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings, Hermione. You scare him." James clenched his free hand in a fist and rubbed the top of her head with his knuckles.

"Hey!" She laughed and tried to pull away from him, but he was still holding her around his shoulders. "James, stop!"

He snorted before releasing her head and pulling it back to his shoulder.

"It's also understandable that he wants distance since you're Remus's bird and all."

She groaned and whispered, "But Sirius is my friend!"

James pulled away and gave her an exasperated look, "Exactly, Hermione."

That's when Molly and Arthur came through the floo looking thoroughly exhausted. Hermione giggled to herself just imagining the day they'd had with Aunt Muriel.

"How were the boys?" Arthur asked nervously. "Didn't give you too much trouble?"

"They were angels," Hermione reassured.

James smiled and pulled her to her feet.

"I wouldn't say angels, but we had a great day." James shook Arthur's and Molly's hands and said. "We will happily do it again."

Molly looked at them both in disbelief, "Truly?" She asked.

"Of course," Hermione said calmly. "I love your boys."

Molly nodded happily and pulled her into a hug.

"Well, I love to hear that, dear. You two are free to come back anytime!"

James and Hermione exchanged a few more pleasantries before heading back to the Manor.

* * *

Hermione was waiting patiently in a small coffee shop in muggle London. She'd ordered a cup of tea to appease the waitress, but otherwise sat primly facing the door and studying every face that walked into the cafe.

When a properly dressed boy with an uncomfortably pinched expression on his face walked through the door, she held her hand up to signal him. He was wearing a black button down and black suit paints. His hair was neatly combed back, and she watched as even at fifteen, girl's eyes around the cafe followed his form. He sat down with an air of disdain, and Hermione smiled at him in amusement.

He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, and Hermione actually snorted.

"Do you realize that every muggle girl in this room has fallen in love with you?"

He looked around with a scowl. "Yes, I don't even know why I came when I saw the location you'd put on that coin." He turned back to her and looked at her bright yellow sundress and pristine braid. His eyes paused on her bare arms for only a moment before moving back up to her warm brown eyes. "We do not look like the kind of people that should be sharing a table, Pet." She smiled brightly at his deeply frowning face, only reinforcing his comment.

She silenced the table and said seriously, "Thanks for coming, Regulus."

He studied her face for a moment. "Yes well, with you it seems that it would be in my favor to meet with you when you ask," Hermione nodded grimly, but he continued, "I should probably apologize for what happened in that corridor with Evans and my brother. I couldn't think of anything fast enough to get them to give up on you without raising suspicions before Sirius showed up. Then I shouldn't have provoked my brother."

Hermione gave him a secretive smile, "Don't think I didn't notice that you said _should_ apologize without actually apologizing."

The corners of Regulus's mouth twitched. "I have never apologized in my life."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Now what is this about?"

Hermione cocked her head to the side. "How much time do you suppose you have for the day?"

He narrowed his grey eyes and said carefully, "Mother's away today, and my father couldn't care less."

She smiled at him. "Excellent!"

He narrowed his eyes even further. "Why?"

Her smile remained as she asked quietly, "Do you trust me, Regulus?"

He didn't hesitate before saying, "Not particularly." She beamed at him and stood.

"That's good enough for me!"

He rolled his eyes until she grabbed his hand and started pulling him out of the small shop.

Once they'd turned down an alley to an apparition point, she pulled him to a stop.

She turned around and grabbed his shoulders, and he stared at her in surprise. Getting used to her lack of qualms about openly touching him was difficult to say the least.

"What are you doing?"

"Regulus…" She blinked a few times in thought before saying, "You're going to want to leave. There are going to be a lot of people here who don't trust you. A lot of people that are going to think that you're completely loyal to Voldemort."

"I wish you wouldn't say his name," he whispered.

"You just need to stay strong, and not let their comments get to you."

Regulus smiled down at her despite his nerves. "You want me to play the perfect champion of the light?"

Hermione swatted him. "No I want you to play Regulus, but I want you to play the calm, composed, and honest Regulus."

He gave her one of his calculating looks. "Who are these people, Hermione?"

She pursed her lips and avoided his eyes. "If it makes you feel better, you're going to learn why I know so many things."

He smirked at her, "You have sweetened the pot considerably." She took a step back from him and held out her elbow.

"It's your choice."

There it was. His choice. She wouldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to, and that was why he took her elbow.

"I suppose I trust you a small amount."

She gave him a proud look before closing her eyes and focusing.

There was that weird feeling of being squeezed through a tube, and they both landed with grace.

"You going to tell me how you can apparate at sixteen?"

She smirked up at him and said, "I can't tell you all my secrets."

They both turned to the large seemingly abandoned house a ways away in front of them. The clouds in the sky above them were darkening and there was the noise of distant thunder.

"Well, that's only extremely ominous," said Regulus gruffly.

He let go of her elbow as they started walking towards the front door.

Hermione grabbed his wrist to get him through the wards and once they were a couple steps from the front door, it swung open and Regulus's eyes widened.

They had a wand pointed at them and standing on the other end was the constantly vigilant Mad-eye.

"First time we ever met, I revived you and what did you do?"

Hermione smirked and said smugly, "Disarm you. Wandlessly." Regulus raised an eyebrow at her.

Moody grunted and moved his wand to Regulus.

"Who's this, pup?"

Hermione stepped in front of Regulus so that she was in front of the wand again. She stared down Moody and strongly said, "Moody, this is Regulus Black. He's here with me for the meeting."

After a few moments Moody slowly lowered his wand.

"I'll have my eyes on you, Black. One mistake and you'll never see the outside of this house again."

Hermione chanced a glance behind her and saw that Regulus had the same masked expression on his face that he always wore at Hogwarts. "Understood."

Hermione gave him a reassuring look before ushering him inside. They followed Moody's echoing footsteps through the dark home until they came upon a room filled to bursting with people Regulus never imagined he'd have any reason to interact with. All conversation stopped when Hermione stepped into the light and Regulus observed as people looked at her with mixed expressions.

Some looked at her with concern and nervousness as well as a small amount of fear. Some looked at her like they were torn and unsure. But most looked at her as if some kind of angel had walked in. Like their savior. Regulus thought he understood how all three types felt.

He stepped out of the shadows after her and suddenly all attention shifted to him. It was silent.

"Hullo," he said in an attempt to feign confidence in whatever situation Hermione had just dragged him into.

Hermione's eyes shifted around the full room.

"Fashionably late, as always, Granger," said Fabien Prewett with an entertained smile gracing his face. She'd found out on New Years that their distinguishing factor was the small white scar above Fabien's lip.

"Yes, our little bird, always arriving in style!" added Gideon.

"Bugger off, you prats!" She hissed and a few in the room laughed, but then the laughs died down and everyone returned to staring at Regulus who was trying very hard to mask his nerves. Hermione was sure no one else could see his anxiety, but his tell was his clenched fists hidden under his crossed arms.

"Everyone…" She turned back to all the staring faces. "This is Regulus Black. He is here to help the Order."

Similar to the first Order meeting she'd attended last year the gathering of people paused for a few moments before bursting into unmitigated chaos.

It wasn't until Andromeda Tonks stood and primly made her way around the table to stand in front of the two frozen teenagers that it began to slowly die down.

The two Blacks studied each other for a few silent moments before Andromeda reached forward and gently took his elbow.

"You are brave, Regulus."

Regulus could safely say, he had never been called brave before, and he wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. He didn't respond as he looked down on his estranged cousin. Lately, he'd taken to staring at the Black family tapestry every time he woke up from a nightmare. He imagined himself getting burned off forever by his own mother, just as Sirius and Andromeda had been blasted off, and every time it made him shiver. He was pulled from his thoughts when Andromeda gently squeezed his arm.

"I'm proud of you, Reg."

His eyes widened in surprise before looking down at Hermione who was smiling happily at the two.

He didn't have any words, so his lips thinned and he nodded gruffly. He reached up and carefully squeezed her hand on his elbow before looking at Hermione and urging her with his eyes to distract from the current situation.

Her smile melted off her face and she latched onto his elbow to drag him to the end of the table by the Potter's where they'd saved two seats as promised.

Dorea smiled kindly at Regulus as they sat down.

"Hello, Regulus. I'm glad to see you've befriended our dear Hermione."

Regulus scowled and said, "She tricked me into it."

Charlus smiled happily and leaned in, "Did she tell you she was almost a Slytherin?"

Regulus looked at Hermione and laughed. "Checks out."

She swatted him and scoffed.

"They love to tell people that to scare them," She stuck her chin up and observed as the fireplace in the corner burst to life and out walked Dumbledore.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming."

Dumbledore went to the head of the table as usual and his eyes swept the room. She watched as they paused on Regulus in surprise before he turned on Hermione and raised his eyebrows.

"Would you like to explain why you have brought a fellow student to a top secret meeting, Miss Granger?" She could see the disbelief and disapproval in his gaze, and that same bitter, scornful feeling that she'd had in regards to Snape and Dumbledore lately resurfaced.

Hermione arched a brow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Would _you _like to explain why you are questioning my judgement in the matter, Albus?"

Dumbledore nodded and didn't look surprised by her question at all. He sighed, "Very well."

Hermione looked around the room and said dangerously, "I'm going to explain Regulus's presence further, but only if everyone in the room understands that I _know_ what I am doing, and I am _not_ in the mood for people to question me."

"I love when she's scary," Fabien said as he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed behind his head. When Hermione scowled at him, he winked.

Hermione refused to comment on that and sighed before starting in, "Before I start I would just like to reinforce that, though it may not seem that way, Regulus has the same goal as us."

She looked over at him to find him studying her suspiciously. She knew if she had told him exactly what the meeting was, he would've refused to come, but she needed everyone in the room aware of his role for the eventual fallout that would occur should they succeed in winning the war. She wanted no questions asked regarding his loyalties.

"And in order to kill Voldemort, we will need his help." A few people in the room still flinched at the mention of Voldemort out of habit she assumed. "Regulus will be working as a spy for the Order."

"But that would mean he'd have to be a Death Eater."

Hermione turned her eyes on the person in the back who had spoken. Someone she'd never spoken to before then.

She looked at Regulus and asked quietly, "Do you trust me?"

His grey eyes burned as he stared her down. She could see the turmoil in his eyes, but eventually he smirked and said, "Not particularly."

She smiled at him and reached for his left arm.

He instinctively pulled away before pausing and holding his arm so it lay flat on the table. He slowly and precisely rolled up his sleeve, and nearly everyone in the room gasped.

Andromeda had tears in her eyes when she whispered harshly, "Reg, what have you done?"

She could see Regulus's resolve crumbling, so she jumped up and slammed her hands on the table. Her braid was throwing off sparks in a way that Regulus had never seen before.

"It wasn't a choice! He didn't have a choice, so I gave him one and here he is!" She looked at Andromeda and said firmly, "You've met Walburga."

Andromeda's expression went from accusatory to apologetic. She looked at Regulus and whispered, "I'm sorry, Regulus. It was just a reaction."

He looked disgustingly at his own arm before saying, "An understandable one." He looked up at the fierce girl standing next to him and smiled, "I assure you, it was a better reaction than Hermione."

Hermione flushed in embarrassment and narrowed her eyes, "Don't you dare."

"The crazy bird burst into tears."

Hermione whacked him on the back of his head and said, "I would be careful if I were you. I'm holding your life in my hands." Regulus scowled at her as he rubbed the back of his head.

She sighed and turned back towards the group, "Moving on from that unfortunate detour… Regulus is going to work from the inside leaking information and helping me with the Horcruxes."

Moody stepped up so that he was standing right across the table from her. "I can see you've got your fighting stance right now, pup, but you need to tell us how you'll make sure this boy doesn't go running to his _master _at the first sign of trouble!"

Hermione glared at Moody and said, "He's a skilled Occlumens, and he will sign the same agreement that everyone else in this room signed."

Moody glared down at the Dark Mark before looking up at Regulus.

"If pup here trusts you, then that's good enough for me."

Most in the room followed suit at his reluctant admission if their nods were anything to go by. Hermione slowly took her seat and reached over to pull Regulus's arm off the table.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and said, "Now that that is settled, let us move on to the update regarding our search for Horcruxes. Hermione would you speak on the events that occurred at the Gaunt Shack?" She gave him a questioning look, and he said, "Feel free to disclose all information you deem necessary. Though, I hardly need to tell you that."

Her eyes darted down to his hand before looking back up. She slowly reached over and grabbed Regulus's hand under the table more for her own comfort than anything else and was surprised when he squeezed it back.

Hermione looked at the table and carefully started, "I found the Diadem in Hogwarts back in October." She opened her bag and summoned the box before setting it on the table. She watched as everyone physically pulled away from it. "Dumbledore and I went after the Gaunt ring in December and ran into difficulties. One of the powerful protective curses that Voldemort placed on the ring is a slow working poison that is activated if the person puts the ring on. Last time it took a year."

Regulus's fingers tightened painfully on hers. Hermione pulled out the box with the Gaunt Ring in it and set it next to the Diadem.

She avoided everyone's eyes when she said faintly, "Albus put it on."

Everyone's eyes turned on Dumbledore as he slowly lifted his hand to display the blackening fingers.

"You knew this would happen?" Aberforth Dumbledore stepped out from the back of the room and looked down at her. "You knew this would happen, and you still let it occur. Aren't you here just to stop these things from happening?"

Hermione's eyes watered, so she squeezed them shut and turned away from the surly man.

"As I have mentioned at previous meetings… the Horcruxes fight back. They turn you against yourself. I had a small moment of weakness and allowed it to get to me. I didn't see him put it on."

She heard the rustling of robes and felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Is what Miss Granger says true, Albus?"

"Unfortunately so."

Hermione ducked her head and dug her nails into Regulus's skin subconsciously. He didn't even flinch.

"Miss Granger should not face the blame alone. She warned me of the ring, and it was my own foolishness that has cost me. I let Voldemort's whispers get to me as well."

Hermione kept her eyes closed and tried to calm her breathing. A few seconds later her eyes snapped open when Moody asked gruffly.

"Are you going to show them to us?"

Her eyes landed on his, and she could feel the tension in the air.

"He killed people to create these artifacts and then finished the process with an act so gruesome I _refuse _to speak of it. They house parts of his soul, and they whisper things to you. Things meant to break you down." She paused and narrowed her eyes. "And you want to see it?" She asked in disbelief.

Moody didn't waver as he said, "I think we have a right to see the thing that's killing Dumbledore and supposed to end the war."

Hermione slowly pulled her fingers from Regulus's and got to her feet again.

"If you insist."

Before anyone could say anything she pulled her wand from her braid and opened the lids on both of the boxes simultaneously.

It was like opening the floodgates.

Immediately that distinct feeling of dark magic permeated the air along with the hisses and whispers that had surrounded her at the shack.

_It's your fault. They're all dead, and it's your fault. _

This time she knew what it would say so she kept her head. She glanced around at the horrified and panicked expressions of everyone in the room before slamming the lids back on.

Everyone was silent.

"I think that may give you a better understanding of why it was so easy for Dumbledore and myself to lose our focus."

Every person in the room seemed to be frozen, so she quickly put the boxes back into her bag and pulled out the one with the fangs along with her dragon hide gloves just to be sure.

She carefully pulled one out and held it up.

"This is how we'll destroy them."

That seemed to melt everyone in the rooms terror filled expressions.

"So you killed the basilisk then?"

"Yes. Moody, Benjy, Albus and I killed it over the holidays." She looked down the table at Benjy who was smiling proudly.

"Next Horcrux I suspect we'll go after will be Tom Riddle's diary at Malfoy Manor. Then all we will have left is the locket which is yet to be placed, hufflepuff's cup, and Nagini."

"Do you have any ideas on the whereabouts of the cup?"

Hermione sighed and returned the fang to its place before also putting that back in her back.

"I suspect it is in the Lestrange Vault at Gringotts."

A couple people groaned and Hermione looked down at Andromeda who was lost in thought.

"We still have four years until Sybill Trelawney will make her prediction and the prophecy will come into play."

"You are making good time, pup."

She sighed and sat down.

"I am doing my best."

Hermione spent the rest of the meeting in which Dumbledore debriefed the Order on the current situation at the Ministry, trying to ignore the clanging feeling in her mind telling her that she had already been here for an entire year.

Hermione was pulled from her thoughts when she felt a hand on her elbow gently pulling her from her seat.

"Come along, Granger. As much as it pains me to say so, I need you to take me to home."

Hermione surprised herself when she laughed at him and looked around to see that everyone from the meeting was already gone.

"How long has everyone been gone for?"

Regulus held onto her elbow as they walked slowly back through the house. "Probably ten or so minutes."

She looked up at him in surprise and shrieked, "Why didn't you say anything?"

He looked down at her with his masked expression. "I thought you might need a minute to decompress."

When they made it outside it was pouring rain. Regulus pulled a shrunken cloak from his pocket and brought it back to regular size. He wrapped it around her shoulders and said, "I may be a prick, but I don't exactly fancy the idea of you getting sick again on my account."

Hermione smiled gratefully at him and latched onto his elbow as they made their way quickly to the edge of the wards. Once they were out she immediately apparated to just outside Grimmauld, and paused when she realized she couldn't see it.

_How have you been in Grimmauld Place? It's warded against-_

_Mudbloods?_

Hermione cast a charm to ward off the rain, but it couldn't block out the chill. She wrapped Regulus's cloak tighter around herself.

"Before, I leave you for the pleasant family time that is sure to await me at home, I would like you to explain to me a few things," Regulus said while staring in the direction that she was sure that Grimmauld was.

"Okay what are your questions?"

"You essentially led that meeting. I am guessing you're not really from Beauxbatons, so where are you from?"

"You're asking the wrong question. The correct thing to say would be _when_ am I from."

Regulus raised his eyebrows, but overall didn't seem that surprised.

"Okay, I'll ask more about that later. What was that group? You mentioned the Order, and them having a common goal."

"The Order of the Phoenix is an organization started by Dumbledore to take down Voldemort and oppose the Dark Arts."

"What did Aberforth mean when he said you were just here to stop things from happening?"

"I didn't come here on purpose." She flicked a wet curl from her eyes and looked down at her shoes. "I was sent. Didn't have a choice in the matter."

Regulus suddenly understood her righteous anger that flared up so strongly anytime it was brought up about how he didn't have a choice.

"Would you have come if you had a choice?"

Hermione met his eyes. Would she have? If she'd had the choice right after she was snatched, it would've been no. If given the choice after everyone had died, yes. She couldn't imagine not having met the people that were in her life now.

Regulus watched all these dark thoughts flash across her eyes. He was slowly piecing things together in his mind. If this group of people had sent Hermione back, times must have been dire. And if things were as bad as what he was imagining, then Hermione had plenty of experience with dark thoughts.

"It's complicated," she whispered.

Hermione seemed to shake herself out of it and smiled brightly up at him like she had earlier in the muggle cafe.

"Thank you for coming today, Regulus."

She took off his cloak and handed it back to him.

He started in the direction of his house and waved at her over his shoulder.

"Take care of yourself, pet."

"Always."

* * *

**AN: Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**


	24. You Wouldn't

**AN: Sorry guys! I worked 56 hours this week, and have slept nearly the entire weekend. Sorry for such a long updateless period, I hope this chapter is worth it;)**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: You Wouldn't**

Hermione apparated right outside the wards at Potter Manor and ran through the rain to get inside. She flew through the front door shivering and with a see-through yellow sundress. She hadn't worn a bra with the dress, so she was sure it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. It was with this in mind that she began to slowly creep towards the stairwell.

She shrieked when someone rounded the corner to the entrance hall, and her arms flew up to try and cover herself.

"Hermione!"

She breathed out a sigh and dropped her arms. "Remus."

Hermione went to walk towards him but froze. She'd just come back from talking to Regulus. Before that she was at the Order meeting. At that Order meeting she'd seen Andromeda and Ted Tonks. Andromeda and Ted had a daughter named Nymphadora. A daughter named Nymphadora that Remus was completely and totally enamored with.

She'd been subconsciously filing her thoughts into specified folders with varying degrees of importance, and somehow _that _bit of information had slipped to the back with the less than urgent memories. Until just now.

She shook her head and focused back in on him.

He looked her up and down and gave her a mischievous smile. His eyes flashed, but before he could come any closer Sirius and James also turned around the corner. Hermione didn't notice them right away and bit her lip as she smiled at Remus with bright red cheeks. She hadn't seen him since the platform two weeks ago which felt much longer than it sounded.

James yelled out and clapped his hands over his eyes, and Sirius groaned and found he couldn't avert his.

She tried to cover herself again and said weakly, "It's raining."

It was then that Peter came down the stairs and looked with widened eyes at the soaking fabric that was clinging to Hermione.

"Bloody hell," he whispered before graciously spinning so his back was to her.

Remus took one look at them and closed the rest of the distance to pull her into his arms and shield her with his body. Hermione hid her bright red face against Remus's chest.

"Get out of here, you prats!" She shrieked at James and Peter who listened without any hesitation and ran from the room. Sirius was still staring at her wide eyed when James reappeared and yanked him from the room.

Once they were gone Remus pulled her even closer and dug his nose into her hair.

"I missed you, Hermione," he whispered into her curls.

Hermione wrapped her arms around his ribs and pressed her body against his, "I'm getting you wet, Remus."

He pulled away and smirked at her. "Your parents said they won't be back until late tonight."

When Hermione responded by looking up at him through her lashes, Remus growled and pushed her against the wall with his hand behind her head. He rested his forehead against hers for a few moments before leaning in and capturing her lips. He started gently and then one of his hands went to her knee and started inching up her thigh. Hermione nibbled on his bottom lip and he groaned.

She shivered against him, and he pulled back.

He had his Marauder smile when he asked huskily, "Are you cold?"

She nodded, and he grabbed the backs of her thighs and lifted her. Hermione squeaked as he quickly carried her up the stairs to her room and shut and silenced the door before making his way to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

He set her down and then ghosted his fingers across her ribs towards the zipper on the back of her dress.

She reached for the hem of his shirt and yanked up.

This time wasn't like their others. It wasn't slow and filled with whispered , ``I love yous." In seconds they were both naked and Remus had her against the shower wall. Hermione barely had time to whisper a wandless contraceptive charm before he was sucking on her bottom lip.

His hands were burning trails all over her body that had her shivering for reasons other than the cold. One of her arms was wrapped around his neck and her other hand was pushing into the tile beside her, fingers splayed and searching for something to ground her. Her nails dug into his scalp as his lips made their way down to one of her breasts.

Remus was grounding against her when she hissed, "Stop teasing."

He smiled against her goose-bumped skin and his hands went under her thighs. She immediately wrapped her legs around his hips with her heels digging painfully into the dimples at the bottom of his spine.

He slid into her, and they both moaned.

Hermione's nails slid down his shoulder blades as he thrust into her at a relentless pace. Their bodies were pressed so tightly together that she could feel his body's vibrations as he moaned which only made her mewl louder. The air was steamy from the hot water coming down over Remus's back, and Hermione couldn't think of a time they had had in the past few months that had her quite as clouded with lust as she was in that moment.

"Harder, Remus!" She urged mindlessly.

He didn't have to be told twice as one of his hands fisted against the wall, and her back arched. He groaned at the feeling of her hardened nipples pressing against his chest, and her hands gripped him even harder as her body was pushed over and over again against the tiles. She had a feeling she'd have bruising along her spine, but she could hardly feel the pain in that moment.

She could feel his muscles rippling under her hands, and when Hermione finally turned into a quivering mess she surprised herself by gasping and shouting his name.

That alone, had Remus so turned on that he followed closely after. She was lightheaded, more satisfied than she'd ever been, and she was just sure that she would be sore after this.

Her head fell back against the tile and Remus watched in fascination as her hooded eyes slowly cleared while she caught her breath.

He slowly pulled out of her and reverently held her steady as she slid down the tile and back onto her own two feet.

The moment was suddenly much more intimate than anything they'd done before as he pulled her under the spray of the shower head and they stood there in each other's arms completely bare to each other.

Their experiences at Hogwarts had been limited to quick tumbles under the cover of his silencing charms and darkness, but this time they were so open to each other. Hermione marveled over her own trust in the boy standing in front of her and melted into his arms, allowing the water to wash away any worries and tension remaining in her body.

"I love you," she whispered into his skin.

Remus couldn't believe that this girl, who'd shown up in their lives out of nowhere, would become this important to him. It still shocked him, and if he were being completely honest with himself, _terrified_ him that this wonderful witch could be so open and loving towards someone as cursed as him.

He pushed her away slightly and reached towards the soap. She watched him with soft eyes as he attentively washed her rosy skin like it was the most important task he'd ever been given. They laughed with each other as he piled all of her ridiculous curls on top of her head to shampoo them.

It was a wholly tender moment that Hermione was sure would have her heart clenching almost painfully when she had a moment later to remember it. She wanted to save all the memories like this in a pensieve for when she'd need that gentleness most.

Once she was clean she returned the favor, and he laughed heartily when she stood on her tiptoes and used his shoulder to reach the top of his head.

"When will you stop growing, Remus?" She said with a huff as she strained to wash his sandy mop, and he smiled at her goofily when she had to press her entire body against his.

"I read that the typical male doesn't stop growing until they reach the age of twenty-five," he said happily.

Her eyes widened and he laughed again.

"But you're already so much taller!"

Remus puffed out his chest, and she, in all her naked glory, crossed her arms under her breasts, and popped one of her hips out in defiance. Her entire body flushed when he gave her body a rather predatory once over and started lurking towards her.

She giggled and held a finger up.

"No! We should be heading back downstairs! James is probably going to break down the door any moment!"

He smirked at her and dropped to his knees in front of her. "I don't know if I'm quite satisfied yet, you see," he said up to her huskily. Her back pressed into the tiles again and she dropped so that she was sitting on the small ledge. One of his hands reached out and snatched her ankle before throwing her leg over his shoulder.

Hermione's face was burning when he pressed his nose into her exposed center and took a deep breath before following with his tongue.

"Remus!"

He smiled up at her and whispered, "Do you trust me, Hermione?"

Of course she did, but they'd never done this before, and it was bringing up all kinds of insecurities that she hadn't given thought to until now.

When he started pressing open mouthed kisses to the insides of her thighs and glanced up at her with questioning amber eyes she found herself nodding rather dumbly at him.

She found out a bit later that she rather enjoyed this new experience.

* * *

Sirius, Peter, and James were downstairs distracting themselves with a game of exploding snap when a freshly clean Hermione and Remus appeared in the doorway.

Sirius studiously avoided looking at them as James said haughtily, "Well, Remus, if you're finished defiling my sister, we have Marauder business to take care of."

When Sirius finally did look up it was to Hermione in suspiciously baggy clothing standing furiously over their game.

"James, I swear to Merlin, if you make one more comment about my virtue or Remus defiling my innocence, you'll be puking up slugs for weeks."

James paled considerably, and Sirius, before he could stop himself, mumbled under his breath, "What virtue?"

Hermione didn't hear him, but Remus must've because in seconds the angry werewolf was stalking towards their game like Sirius was some kind of wee rabbit on the night of a wolfsbaneless full moon.

Before he could get any closer though, the floo roared to life and out popped a woozy looking Lily Evans.

Hermione's scowl immediately dissolved into a large grin and she jumped over their game and gave Lily one of her bone-crushing hugs.

"Lils! I thought you weren't coming for a few more weeks!"

James jumped up from his spot on the ground and even Peter went to go speak happily to Lily, but Remus and Sirius didn't move an inch.

"We'll talk about this later, Sirius," Remus said tiredly. Sirius looked up in shock and frowned when all the anger from before was gone and replaced with exhaustion.

Sirius wanted him to be angry. Sirius could do angry. What Sirius couldn't do was disappointed and sad which he was sure, based on Remus's expressions, was what he was in store for.

Sirius looked up into his friend's green eyes and narrowed his suspiciously.

"Talk about what, Remus?" He asked dumbly.

Remus looked towards the other side of the room where Lily was batting James away before his eyes landed on Hermione. She was standing there, barefoot in James's old clothes, laughing at something Peter was saying. Sirius's eyes followed his and he smiled softly. Remus wasn't used to fighting for what he wanted. He was used to just assuming that he wouldn't get it no matter how hard he tried. The thing that was beginning to throw him off, was how he'd hardly fought at all for Hermione. She'd chosen him so quickly.

All the whispers of doubt that had been floating right past his ears like they were blocked were suddenly seeping through the cracks.

Why had she chosen him anyway?

She glanced up then and frowned at the negative look that must've taken over Remus's face before her eyes turned to Sirius and she smiled at him in return. When her eyes darted back to Remus she gestured for him to come to her.

Remus began to make his way over to her but not before he whispered to Sirius, "I don't want to fight over this, Sirius. You're my friend. I love her."

He hoped that would be enough.

He smiled when he reached her and pulled Lily into a friendly hug.

"What are you doing here so early, Lily?" He questioned.

He watched as the pretty red-head jumped excitedly and said, "OWL results come in the morning!"

Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

Hermione took a look at all the boys around them before grabbing Lily's hand and her overnight bag and pulling her out of the room.

Right before they disappeared through the doorway they heard Lily ask, "Where are we going? Also why are you wearing boys clothes?"

* * *

Hermione and Lily shut themselves in Dorea's sunroom that took up the third floor and locked it.

Hermione had spent the last week exploring the large manor which she somehow hadn't done in the year she'd lived there. The last summer, she'd been locked in her room or the library, and winter break she had spent in a similar fashion. Besides her one delusional tumble into the unused west wing where she'd ended up under a bed, Hermione hadn't been anywhere else. She was beyond happy to discover a loan staircase close on the east side of the manor that she found out led up to a large airy room that occupied the entire third floor. The ceiling was nearly entirely windows, and the room was the only one filled with Slytherin colors. Hermione found that she absolutely loved this room which was very clearly Dorea's private nest.

She watched happily as Lily stared around the room in awe.

"This is Mum's room. I just discovered it recently."

The floors were a dark, nearly black wood and right in the middle of the room was a plush silvery white rug. Hermione dropped Lily's duffel on an emerald sofa and laid down on her back on the rug.

Her eyes gazed up at the rain pattering against the glass. Lily laid down so that the very tops of their heads were nearly touching and threw her arms out.

She sighed and said, "Mrs. Potter is a very lucky woman. I would kill for a room like this."

Hermione smiled and threw her arms out as well. "Marry my brother, and it's yours."

Lily snorted and said strongly, "Your brother is insufferable."

Hermione laughed and decided that maybe it still wasn't time for that push. She was surprised that Lily hadn't pieced together exactly _why_ Hermione was pushing so hard for this when Lily knew where she came from. Perhaps, she had in some deep part of her mind but refused to acknowledge it.

"So why did you drag me up here? Was it to talk about your piping hot werewolf sex? Or perhaps the not so secret love triangle fostering between two guys and their best friend's sister?"

Hermione gasped in outrage, and said, "Decidedly not!"

Right as a serene voice said from above them, "What's this about werewolf sex and love triangles?"

Both girls flew up and stared wide eyed at a smirking Dorea. Just then a head popped out from behind her and Hermione grinned. There was no mistaking that head of curls and feathers.

"Pandora!"

The girl very nearly floated towards them wearing a floor length floral cotton dress and earrings that looked like tiny little birds nests.

"Hullo, Hermione. I ran into your parents in Diagon Alley at the apothecary, and Mrs. Potter asked me to come over for a visit!"

Lily watched in shock as Dorea went and took a seat on the chaise lounge right in front of them and crossed her legs. Then turned her eyes and watched Pandora lay down on her stomach with her chin propped up on her hand.

"Hullo, Lily Evans. I'd quite like to hear about this not so secret love triangle you speak of."

Lily always was mildly unnerved by the slightly loony girl that Hermione had befriended. Lily's eyes darted to James's mum nervously.

"James has been threatened with loss of broom privileges if he ever dares to venture up here." She winked conspiratorially.

Hermione sighed and folded her legs under her. "I actually did come up here to talk about something, and I'm glad you're all here for this."

Dorea tilted her head to the side. "Is everything alright, dear?"

Hermione sighed and her eyes flickered between the three of them. Seeing Andromeda today at the Order meeting had reminded her of something she'd nearly left dusty in her memory's attic. Tonks. Every Time she'd spoken to Andromeda it had been about something darker and more desperate than love, so Hermione thoughts hadn't ever drifted towards future relationships.

"Is it wrong to…" She trailed off and averted her eyes before continuing, "love someone knowing there's someone perfect for them in the future?"

Dorea glanced questioningly at the two girls in the room before locking eyes with Hermione. "They know, mum."

Lily's interest was suddenly very piqued. She may be logical and bookish, but she loved a good romance. Hermione's romantic conflicts were currently her favorite.

"Is there someone in the future for Remus, Hermione?"

She sighed and nodded, "I mean, she's much younger, still a child really, but I saw her mother today, and I realized that I had just decided to not think about it."

Dorea tsked and shook her head, "There's nothing wrong with loving Remus, Hermione."

Pandora tilted her head forward to look at her and said dreamily, "I, for one, think it is quite honorable and kind to love someone so well."

"Yes, but in the future, he's going to love someone else."

She froze when Harry's words to her the first time they'd used the resurrection stone flew out of the filing cabinet and to the forefront of her mind.

_They said the Order wasn't strong enough for an ambush for just one person. That's when I said it. I told them I couldn't do it without you. I tried everything to convince them, but they wouldn't hear it. Even Remus and Tonks refused._

"Even Remus and Tonks refused," she whispered to herself. Her mind suddenly went from just a little insecure and looking for validation, to completely irrational.

What if Dumbledore was wrong? What if time was a loop, and she _hadn't _ripped it apart at the seams? What if everything she was doing was for naught? and she was going to get sent back when she was born in 1979? What if Remus and Tonks hadn't refused to rescue her because the Order wasn't strong enough, but instead because she'd tried to take Remus away from her?

When Hermione had jumped to her feet, and began pacing in deep thought Dorea had clapped her hands and kindly asked Tilly to bring them some tea.

Pandora and Lily were watching Hermione's track nervously, so Dorea stood and grabbed the girl by her shoulders.

"Remus and Tonks told them not to come for me, Mum. That's what Harry said," she said frantically.

She turned and looked at Lily over her shoulder.

"What if I didn't destroy the timeline? What if it's a loop? What if I get sent back?"

Dorea whacked Hermione on the back of her head sending her curls into total disarray.

"Stop this idiotic prattle!" Hermione stared up at Dorea in surprise. "You're smarter than this!"

Pandora giggled from the ground, and Hermione glared at her.

"Think logically." Dorea continued. "If time were a loop, Dumbledore wouldn't be dying and you wouldn't have been able to make all the changes you've already made."

Pandora and Lily's amused smiles dropped and the tone shifted in the room.

"Dumbledore's dying?" Lily whispered.

Dorea looked at her in astonishment before turning back to Hermione.

"I thought they knew," she said sadly.

"Not that part," Hermione mumbled.

She turned back towards Lily and Pandora's bewildered faces and said quietly, "I couldn't change that part of his own personal timeline. The same thing happened in 1993."

Lily's eyes watered, and Pandora looked at Hermione carefully.

"That alone should disprove your notion that time is a loop, Hermione Granger."

Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly a translucent wisp flew through the wall and formed a bat patronus that hovered right in front of Hermione's face.

Hermione startled when Regulus Black's voice filled the room.

"Death Eater raid on Bones family Manor tonight when the moon is at its peak," the voice was hushed and speaking rapidly. "Intent to torture and kill."

Hermione's eyes widened and she looked up at the windows above her head. The sun was nowhere in sight. She set a tempus charm and saw that it was nearly eight p.m.

"Shite!"

Hermione held her wand up.

"Expecto Patronum!"

Her dragon burst forward and circled the cavernous room once before settling in front of her.

"Go to Dumbledore and tell him to call a meeting immediately. This is urgent!"

Once her Patronus was sent, Hermione gave her friends and Mum one last look before sprinting towards the stairs.

One thing was running over and over again through her mind.

This was _wrong_.

It was too early. The Bones family wasn't supposed to be attacked for five more years. _Five._ That wasn't some small change in the timeline. It was _five _years! If that had changed then who knew what else would change. Hermione's very detailed and precise timeline would be worthless.

Hermione took a few deep breaths and in a moment, her panic and emotions were carefully shoved into a box far away. This is what she needed to do before something like this. Compartmentalize. Flip the switch. She was too busy rummaging through her drawers that she hadn't noticed someone follow her into her room.

She ripped off her large jumper and threw on a black long sleeve shirt.

"Hermione?"

She spun and looked at him briefly before turning back to her drawers.

She found her black trousers and quickly unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down.

For once Remus wasn't focusing so closely on Hermione's removal of clothes and instead he noticed as she pulled on her all black clothes that could only really mean one thing.

"You're leaving for a mission?" He asked with a strained voice. "Right now?"

He watched as she hastily pulled the trousers up and buttoned them. She did some kind of spell that had her hair braided into a tight french braid before she turned to look at him. He was staring at her in complete frustration.

He hardly recognized her when she gave him a hard look and simply said, "I have to go."

He reached out an arm to block her exit and Hermione scowled at him.

"I don't have time for this. People _need _me."

She went to step under his arm and open the door, but he blocked her by stepping right in front of her. She ran bodily into him and stepped back with a look of righteous anger.

"Remus, I have to go right now!"

He didn't want her to go that was for sure. He could feel the wolf part of him growling that he had to protect his witch. _He_ was supposed to keep _her_ safe.

"I don't want you to go," he said resolutely.

Hermione actually growled at him and poked him hard in the chest. "I refuse to fight about this every time I have a mission."

Remus glared at her and grabbed her hand off his chest holding it tightly between his. "I can't keep letting you go. I can't keep letting you go, _knowing_ that you are going to fight the people that carved you up like some kind of piece of meat. That left you broken."

The anger and every other emotion disappeared from her face.

She yanked her hand away.

"I told you on Halloween that I wouldn't put you ahead of winning this war. I told you that, and you said you still wanted this."

Remus was physcially taken back. He could feel the panic bubbling up in his chest. She didn't sound like his Hermione. She sounded like some kind of muggle robot, and _that _sounded like an ultimatum.

"I didn't realize how hard it would be," he said angrily.

An old memory came to the forefront of her memory. _An old memory of her pulling a wand on her parents_.

It wasn't until she pointed the wand at Remus that she realized that she hadn't gone as soft as she thought.

"If you don't let me go right now, I'll obliviate you."

Remus's eyes widened, and he said carefully, "You wouldn't."

Her wand and voice both didn't waver at all when she said, "My parents weren't killed. Well they might've been, but I was brought here before I could find out." Remus looked confused. "I found out that they were targets by the Death Eaters. I wanted them safe, and I knew they would never willingly let their thirteen year old daughter fight a war. I went to my home after second year, I pointed my wand at them just like this, and I removed myself completely from their memories."

Hermione, despite her stony expression, had tears building in her eyes when she said, "So look me in the eyes right now, Remus, and tell me I wouldn't do it." His anger melted and he just looked resigned, but he still didn't move. "Because I loved my parents more than anything, but I barely hesitated in doing it to them."

Remus realized then what choice she was giving him.

Step aside and allow her to put herself in danger as the spearhead of every battle, or stand his ground and let her erase Merlin knew what from his memories.

It wasn't a hard decision.

When he stepped to the right Hermione let out a breath and gave him one last look before running from the room. Remus was left standing in Hermione's room trying to squelch all the overwhelming emotions flowing through his veins.

She made it to the floo with no distractions and went to the Order Headquarters.

She looked around and realized that there were maybe ten people there. Edgar and Amelia Bones, Benjy, Moody, the Prewett twins, Dumbledore, her parents, and a couple others. She realized after doing a quick scan that these were probably the combative members of the Order.

She wondered if Dorea had sent another Patronus after she had left, warning Dumbledore of the nature of the meeting.

Hermione stood next to Dumbledore, folded her arms carefully at the base of her spine, and looked directly at the Bones siblings.

"Regulus sent a patronus warning us of an attack on your home when the moon is at its peak. I'd say we have a few hours. The intent behind the attack is to torture and kill."

Edgar looked terrified, but Amelia was stony.

"If we remove everyone from the home they will know we've been tipped off, so I suggest we remove your children and parents from the Manor, and wait for them to arrive to see if we can apprehend any of the Death Eaters."

Hermione looked around and turned to look up at Dumbledore.

"I don't suggest your presence, Albus." Hermione turned and looked at Charlus and Dorea. "Maybe one of you should remain home as well in case James and Sirius ask questions."

"Is it wise, Pup, to go in with so few Order members as back up?"

Hermione looked over at him. "From my experience, attacks like this are typically conducted by four Death Eaters at most. I say we split into partners and fan out through the manor. If your partner gets injured you don't hesitate to get out of there."

She paired them off then they all flooed to the Bones's Manor. It was less grand than Potter and Malfoy Manor, but still larger than any muggle home she'd been to. Once Edgar's wife and children were sent off to a safe house, they fanned out.

Hermione and Charlus were walking through the kitchen and dining room when it happened. She could feel the crackle of magic as the wards on the home failed and she could hear a blast from some distance. Hermione cast a disillusionment charm and faded into the wallpaper. She watched as Charlus did the same.

She had that familiar rush of adrenaline that always pumped through her veins during a fight. She slowed her breathing and slowly crept towards the corridor branching off the dining room. She could hear the creaking of the old floorboards from further down the hall. The air was thick and eerie as she steadied her breathing walking closer towards the sound.

She stopped when a light from the tip of a wand appeared about ten feet out.

When a full man stepped out of the shadowed doorway she had to stop herself from physically gasping.

Antonin Dolohov.

He had had an obsession with her in their time. He always spoke on wanting her all to himself. His Russian accent echoed against the edges of her mind.

_You'll be mine one day, malen'kaya ptitsa._

Hermione squared her shoulders and held her wand even steadier.

Dolohov glanced up and down the hall before gesturing to whoever was behind him. She'd been right in her assumption of four or less. Two branched off in the direction further from her and Dolohov and a masked Death Eater walked towards them. Hermione released a breath and had a spell on the tip of her tongue when Dolohov froze.

He looked around and seemed to glance right at her. He smiled sadistically and stared right through her when he growled out, "Nox."

They were bathed in darkness. She cursed mentally when she realized there was nowhere in this corridor that emitted any light. It was pitch black.

She was about to duel Dolohov _blind_, and he seemed to already know _exactly_ where she was.

Panic entered her system and she felt her disillusionment charm drop as she began to slowly back away. She brushed her fingertips against the wallpaper and felt for the alcove she'd seen the edges of earlier. When she felt it she slid her body as carefully as she could into the small space and listened carefully. She could hear blasts and the ceiling quaked above them.

Hermione had to think quickly. Dolohov knew that at least Hermione was in this corridor, so she had at least two Death Eaters lurking in the darkness and no idea where Charlus was.

Before she could form a plan someone fired something nonverbal in the direction of where Dolohov had been, and she held her breath as the red sparks passed right in front of her in seemingly slow motion and for just a moment, inches from her own, Dolohov's slanted and angry face was bathed in red light.

"Found myself a malen'kaya ptitsa," came from the darkness where his face had just been.

She gasped and launched herself off the ledge and to the right. She somehow evaded his arms and rolled away from him as soon as she'd landed on her side.

She stopped at her back and put everything she had into an incarcerous which he barely managed to shield himself from.

She jumped to her feet and silenced her footsteps.

When another spell fired from over her shoulder, somehow the nameless witch or wizard behind Dolohov was hit square in the chest. She heard a thump from down the hall.

Hermione began to fire rapid hexes in Dolohov's general direction while trying to maintain her own shield.

"Avis!"

Dolohov cackled from somewhere and his voice seemed to echo from every direction, "How fitting for my, malen'kaya ptitsa!"

Hermione growled when she spat out, "Oppungo."

She then used his curses as the birds descended on him to guide her hexes. Every light that shot from her wand illuminated the dark wizard's outraged face. She could see him losing control as he had to work harder to deflect both the birds and her hexes.

Then he did something so _insane_, that it took her a few paused moments just to process it.

He held his wand and smugly said, "Fiendfyre!"

She stared, wide-eyed, as the cursed flames took the form of a giant serpent. She heard Dolohov cast the spell to place the dark mark in the sky before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Leaving behind the stunned Death Eater sprawled on the floorboards and completely untamable flames.

Hermione screamed as loudly as she could manage, "Fiendfyre!" And hoped to Merlin that everyone heard her.

She felt the heat from the flames press closer to her as she ran in the direction of the fireplace they'd seen in the living room. The fire was sentient and roared and followed close at her heels. Hermione watched the floo light up and Charlus jump through with his hand outstretched to her. Her fingers were just a hairsbreadth from his when she remembered the Death Eater on the ground.

What if it was Regulus?

She ran as fast as she could and slid towards the wall she hoped separated the entrance hall from here.

"Bombarda!" The wall crumpled and Hermione dove through the rubble onto the prone form right as she felt the serpent catch the tail end of her braid. She pressed her neck to the body so that her dragon pendant was touching both of them and yelled, "Portus!"

She was smoking and laying on top of a stunned Death Eater when the sucking and twisting of a portkey ended, and she found herself in the room at Headquarters. Charlus was the first she saw, and he rushed to her and pulled her to her feet before checking her over for injuries.

She looked around the room and saw everyone in the room looking worse for wear than before, but alive. They were all staring at the body Hermione had portkeyed in on top of.

"Did we get anyone else?" She asked quickly. She sighed at the solemn shakes around her.

After that, she turned to the body below her and ripped the mask off. She sighed in relief when she didn't recognize him. Moody and Amelia came up then.

"We'll take him in for questioning."

Before she left Amelia lay a hand on her shoulder and said gratefully, "I believe I owe you a great debt, Miss Granger."

Hermione smiled and said, "I believe it's Regulus Black you owe a great debt to, Ms Bones."

The corner of Amelia's lips twitched and she drawled, "How unfortunate."

Hermione snorted.

After they were gone and everyone had said their goodbyes, Hermione finally let herself breathe.

Charlus smiled proudly down at her and clapped her on the shoulder.

"Your hair is still smoking, kiddo."

Hermione's eyes widened and she pulled on her braid, only to see that nearly six inches had been burned right off and it now fell to nearly her collar bones. The uneven ends, were indeed, smoking.

Hermione sighed and held her wand over her head.

"Aguamenti."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and Charlus burst into laughter as Hermione was soaked head to toe. Her hair slowly unraveled from its braid.

"I guess it could be worse," she laughed.

Her laughter faded when she remembered her fight with Remus.

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest as she thought about what he must think of her after how she'd acted. She'd feared exactly this reaction when she'd had that conversation with him at the Halloween dance. He'd been fiercely protective of Tonks in his later years. Never leaving her side, always trying to be her protector. But Hermione didn't want or need that. Hermione wanted understanding. Hermione wanted a partner.

Hermione flooed home with a sense of emotional dread weighing on her heart.

* * *

**AN: So begins the slow descent of Remione. **

**WOOO long and kinda all over the place chapter. Also left you on a cliffhanger. Sorry about that! **

**Thanks as always, for the favorites, follows, and reviews!**


	25. Over

**AN: Hello all! Hope you had a wonderful week. **

**I realized I didn't translate****malen'kaya ptitsa ****it's russian for little bird!**

**Onward, my friends.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Over**

Hermione tried her best to quietly slink up to her room and escape notice. She really did.

She couldn't help it that she was tired and her vision was slightly blurry from her new pounding headache and she could feel coughs building in her lungs from the fiendfyre. As soon as she's separated from Charlus and cast a drying charm on herself she started walking towards the stairs. She was halfway up the stairwell to the wing in Potter Manor with her rooms when she stumbled on a step and landed hard on the step.

She hissed when her palms connected with the dark wood which immediately turned into a coughing fit.

When she finally calmed down she shifted until she was sitting fully on the stairs and dropped her forehead to her knees to take deep breaths. Her arms wrapped around her thighs and she pressed herself into a tight ball.

The pressure of the events from the night combined with her emotional distress was weighing all around her and pressing closer and closer. She could feel the beginnings of a panic attack and she could feel the burnt ends of her escaping curls brushing against her cheeks. Dolohov's harsh accent was still whistling through her ears. She could feel his breath ghosting her face in that completely dark corridor.

_Found myself a malen'kaya ptitsa._

"Just breathe, Hermione," she whispered to herself. "The Bone's are fine. They're _fine_. We got them out. Dolohov is gone."

It was always like this after a battle. She'd repress panic and emotions and then she'd return to wherever he semblance of safety was at the moment and the box where she'd carefully filed everything away would slam open.

She supposed it must have been her coughing fit that woke up Sirius and for some reason she'd just _known_ it was him when a hand started rubbing gentle circles on her back.

"Hermione, what's happening?"

She gasped at the contact that was light against her spine. The lightness of the touch made her body feel even more disconnected from her body.

"Panic attack," she choked out.

"What can I do?" She flinched when his hand feathered through her newly short hair, "What in Merlin's saggy balls did you do to your hair?" He whispered with a touch of amusement. He pulled away when she pulled her legs tighter to her chest.

She remembered how Harry and her used to hold each other after confrontations with Death Eaters and how it always helped drive away the panic.

She tensed when she said, "I need you to hold me tightly, Sirius."

Sirius balked at those words, "Shouldn't I get, Remus?"

Hermione shrank impossibly at that, and Sirius's eyebrows sprang up. Okay, so that wasn't a very good reaction.

He warred with himself for maybe two seconds before he sank into the steps completely and pulled her tight against his chest. It wasn't a very difficult internal debate. He was too selfish to just leave her there.

"Tighter," she asked quietly.

He sighed before wrapping her in his arms so closely that she was practically in his lap.

He had just been lying on his bed awake when he heard coughing from down the hall. Normally, he would have just left it be, but after the odd evening he couldn't just leave it.

Dinner that night hadn't come until nearly nine p.m. which that in itself was cause for concern, but on top of that Charlus and Hermione were nowhere to be found. Dorea gave some superficial excuse about the both of them going off on an errand, but Lily and Hermione's friend Pandora were at dinner and they were both noticeably anxious But the _most _suspicious event of the evening was when Remus had popped in halfway through the meal looking miserable and with a poorly masked expression. He was angry and on edge. James was wholly innocent and tried the entire time to needle information out of Dorea, but the woman was impressively tight-lipped.

So coughing in the early hours of the morning was definitely something worth investigating.

He squeezed the witch a little tighter. Her breathing was noticeably lighter and her muscles were slowly starting to relax.

"What happened to the Bones? And who is Dolohov."

Just like that she was tense again.

She started to pull away, but he wouldn't let go.

"You have too many secrets, kitten." She sighed against his shirt. "I have been incredibly patient. I watch you disappear for visits with Dumbledore, and you know all these things you aren't supposed to know. There was that night you came back with all those cuts and bruises, and then tonight you come back and you smell like smoke and you're having a fucking panic attack in the middle of the stairs. And don't think I didn't notice how you are already acquainted with my dear cousin Andromeda."

Hermione tried to pull away again, but he just pulled her tighter.

"What happened to the Bones?" He tried again. His chin was resting against the top of her head, and he shifted to push his nose against her hair. Her normal scent was mixed with the smells of a wildfire.

"The Bones family was attacked tonight." Her voice was rough from coughing and probably lack of sleep. "They're all okay. We got them out," she continued.

Sirius tried not to panic at her words. _We_ got them out?

"What do you mean _we_, Hermione?"

She was too tired to hide things from him. She knew he would do _anything_ for the people he cared about. Keep _any_ secret.

"I work with Dumbledore. We fight them."

She better not be talking about who he imagined. His crazed cousin's face appeared in his mind.

"Who's Dolohov?" He asked angrily.

Hermione shivered into his chest and whispered, "Antonin Dolohov. One of Voldemort's closest followers." She took a deep breath. "He's disturbed. Very good at charms. He creates his own dark curses and hexes, and he has a weird obsession with me. Calls me his 'malen'kaya ptitsa.'"

She rattled all of this off like it was a simple fact file in an encyclopedia of dark wizards.

"Is that where you were tonight?"

"Yes," she said simply.

She suddenly grew very embarrassed of her panic attack. It was different with Harry. They helped each other through it, but this wasn't Harry, it was Sirius who was acting _surprisingly _calm. She pulled away and this time he let her. She was aware enough to realize that her entire face was bright red.

"My capture gave me valuable insight, so I use it to aid Dumbledore."

It wasn't technically untrue, and she was decidedly unprepared to tell him the whole truth at this moment.

He was staring at her with that same intensity that always scared her. She stood with the help of the bannister, and he watched as she silently pushed her hair from her eyes.

"I think I should go to bed," she squeaked out.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, and she tried desperately to read his expression. When she was unsuccessful, her eyes darted to the top landing of the stairwell.

"Do Dorea and Charlus know about these little _adventures _of yours?" She glared at him when his tone turned scathing on the word adventures.

"Where do you think Charlus was tonight?"

Sirius's expression relaxed as realizations came to him. Every time they disappeared in the evenings for one of their meetings, she had gone with them. He remembered what he had been saying to his friends that night they had first shown up with Hermione.

_I bet all my galleons that they are meeting about the war. When I heard my parents talking sometimes, they would say things about some kind of group that was full of blood traitors and mudbloods._

He looked at her with a new light in his eyes. Hermione must have been saved by this group, and now she was helping them. He couldn't say he was particularly surprised. Hermione had proven herself to be a total menace of a witch. If he had to guess, Hermione was now a part of this group working to take down Voldemort and his followers. People like his own family.

"I want in," he said strongly.

That must've not been what she was expecting because she reeled back in shock.

"You what?" She asked shakily.

"If you're trying to get rid of You-Know-Who and all his followers, I want in."

Hermione's eyes darted around before landing on him again and leaning forward to whisper.

"I can't talk about this right now, Sirius."

He looked her up and down and could see the exhaustion that appeared to have set deep in her bones.

"Fine," he said angrily. He stood up and looked down at her. He watched the weary expression take over her face, and he softened. He leaned over to brush a light kiss on top of her head. "Don't worry, kitten, your secret is safe with me." He started to make his way up the stairs, but not before adding, "But this conversation isn't over."

She nodded in understanding and once she heard the faint click of his door from further down the hall, she made her way to her own room.

She smiled at the sight that greeted her.

Lily was sprawled on her bed, snoring softly. Pandora must've gone home after Hermione's abrupt departure.

She took a quick shower before changing into pajamas and climbing into bed. When she cast a tempus it was nearly five in the morning. She sighed and let the exhaustion take over.

"Oh, good. You're alive," Lily said sleepily before rolling onto her stomach.

Hermione laughed before yawning. "Alive, but dead tired."

She fell asleep quickly after that.

* * *

Hermione felt like she'd barely slept a minute when she was woken up by an excitable witch jumping on her bed.

"Hermione! Get up! OWLs results are here!"

Hermione flew up in a panic at the yelling and Lily stopped jumping and instead stood there in shock.

"Hermione, what on earth did you do to your hair!"

Hermione's hand flew to her hair, and she frowned.

Lily waved her hand and said, "Never mind that, come downstairs to breakfast. Everyone is waiting for you to open their letters."

She grabbed Hermione's hands and began pulling her downstairs. Hermione was wearing her typical pajamas of polka dotted shorts and a giant, worn jumper. She was barefoot and when she caught her reflection in a mirror on the way to the dining room she gasped.

Her hair, now shortened in length, was a curly _nightmare_. It was very nearly an afro on top of her head. She hoped it was just like this because she fell asleep with damp hair, and she wouldn't have to contend with it _every_ morning.

Lily was jumping excitedly on the balls of her feet as they finally rounded into the room and all boys turned to stare at them.

Hermione's scowl deepened when she heard the tell tale signs of James's mocking laughter. Sirius also barked out a laugh which had her turning her glare on him. There was no doubt in her mind that they were both laughing at her truly unruly birds nest.

She sat down with a huff and graciously took the envelope that Dorea handed to her. The woman was hiding an amused smile behind her hand.

Hermione could feel Remus's eyes burning into the side of her face from his place a couple seats over, and she studiously ignored him as she carefully held the letter between her fingers.

"Well, children, what are you waiting for?"

Everyone else quickly ripped open the envelopes, but Hermione reverently broke the seal and unfolded her paper at a slow pace. She ignored the exclamations of everyone around her as they all compared scores, and paid attention only to her own. She may have been too preoccupied to put in as much studying as she wished she had, but that didn't mean that she hadn't challenged herself.

She smiled smugly at the paper before carefully folding it back up and setting it to the side. She reached up to fix her own tea for the first time since she'd started dating Remus and it was only then that she noticed everyone staring at her.

"Well, how did you do, Hermione?" Charlus asked amusedly.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh don't be modest, you giant swot!" Sirius said with a loud guffaw.

Hermione picked up the parchment and held it out to James who swiped it eagerly from her fingers.

When he got it unfolded he stared at it in complete disbelief.

"Blimey, Hermione!"

"What is it?" Lily shrieked anxiously.

"She got twelve O's!" James quite literally yelled out.

Remus and Lily paled dramatically and turned to her with jealous expressions. Peter and James were equally in awe. Charlus, Dorea, and Sirius didn't look surprised in the slightest.

"You weren't even in twelve classes!" Lily screeched. She then realized the volume of her outburst and blushed.

Hermione shrugged again and said, "I asked Dumbledore if I could sit for all the exams."

Lily in a bout of frustration dropped her head against the table with a loud thunk and groan.

"I'll never get Head Girl now," she mumbled under her breath.

Hermione snorted. "Don't worry, Lils. I am _not_ Head Girl material."

She might've been. If life had dealt her a different hand, and she hadn't experienced the things she had. Now, she had no desire for that. The corners of her mouth twitched when Lily popped up and said hopefully, "You don't want it?"

"Decidedly not!" Hermione retorted.

The rest of breakfast was spent normally, discussing exam results and fighting for the food on the table. It was a welcome change of pace. Hermione found herself laughing often, but it faded every time she caught sight of Remus frowning at her in thought from down the table.

She was relieved when at the end of breakfast Sirius and James dragged Peter and Remus outside to play a pick-up game of Quidditch which put off her inevitable talk with Remus.

Hermione and Lily were painting their nails with muggle polish on the floor of the library a couple hours later. Hermione had changed out of her pajamas and into a light blue sundress after breakfast, and allowed Lily to attempt to tame her hair. It hadn't worked well at all. They were talking about ways to fix the chopped job the fiendfyre had done to her hair when a sweaty Peter appeared and collapsed on one of the sofas.

"I was sent to ask you guys if you're interested in the stashed bottles of firewhiskey they plan on drinking tonight," he said breathlessly.

Lily frowned disapprovingly, but Hermione hesitated. She was in desperate need of a drink to be completely honest, and if she was going to have any kind of confrontation with Remus, some liquid courage would probably do her some good.

"Yeah, okay," she said before turning her attention back to her toe nails.

"What!"

Lily gasped at the same time Peter said, "Wait, really?"

Hermione shrugged, and Lily seemed to pause in internal debate.

Peter was still breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from his brow when Lily made a decision and said, "Fine! But just this once!"

Lily looked up at Peter and jumped to her feet.

"Peter, you need a glass of water. I'll be right back." Lily disappeared through the library doors.

Hermione paused in her polish painting and studied the boy in front of her. When she'd met him a year ago, he'd been scrawny and anxious. He was still anxious, but now she could see the boy was starting to gain the weight he'd had in the future. She thought about Regulus's warning about him and narrowed her eyes.

"Peter," she said carefully. His eyes flew to hers, and he sat up when he spotted her serious expression. He twitched nervously under her calculating stare.

"Is everything alright, Hermione?"

She paused for a moment. "Have you been approached recently by any… _unsavory_ characters?" She asked cryptically.

His eyes widened, and he shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know what you mean," he laughed out nervously.

"I think you do," she said dangerously.

He collapsed against the back of the sofa and avoided her eyes. He looked so terrified and resigned.

Hermione sighed. She imagined Peter was at the point where the Slytherin boys were making promises to him. Baseless promises that were Death Eater propaganda in the truest form. "Whatever they're telling you, are lies."

His eyes flew to hers. "You don't know what you're talking about." He said it with more conviction than Hermione had ever heard from him.

Her eyes widened in shock. She opened her mouth to respond, but just then Lily flew through the door with a glass of water and gave it to Peter. His strong expression had disappeared as soon as the words left his mouth and the nervousness had returned. He was suspiciously pale and looked like he might be ill at any moment.

Hermione suspected he realized he'd said more than he was supposed to. Lily looked at him in concern and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Are you quite alright, Peter?"

He stood hastily and wiped at his forehead where Lily had touched him.

"I'm fine, Lily. I think I am going to go upstairs and lay down for a bit."

Hermione watched him go and returned her attention to her nails right before Lily spun on her.

"What did you do to the poor boy?" Lily asked accusingly.

"What are you talking about, Lily?" Hermione said innocently.

Lily snorted indelicately. "I don't know if you've noticed this, but you're awfully terrifying when you want to be."

Hermione smirked to herself and said, "Good."

* * *

That night the six teens found themselves holed up in an upstairs sitting room getting drunk at a rapid pace.

Five minutes into some game that Sirius created that appeared to be the wizarding version of truth or dare, Remus stood abruptly and pulled the wobbly Hermione up.

Everyone stared at them as Remus pulled her from the room.

He didn't stop walking until they were across the wing in the bedroom Remus took up residence in every time he was over for break.

"We need to talk," he said unnecessarily.

"Yes I imagine so," she responded wearily.

"I don't know if I can do this." He sounded desperate, but his words were sure. Hermione could tell he'd been thinking about what to say to her for the entire time since they're fight in her room yesterday. She felt like someone had reached into her chest and was squeezing her heart in their hands. The tipsiness she'd felt was leaking out of her slowly.

"Care to expand on that," she choked out. She watched as he closed his eyes and straightened up to his full height like he was steeling himself for something.

"I love you, Hermione," he started.

"I love you too," she whispered. She could feel the warmth from the firewhiskey in her face and in the tingles at her fingertips. "But?" She asked carefully.

"I love you, but I don't think I was prepared for what I was getting myself into."

Hermione felt frustration replace the soft pain bubbling up.

"I _told _you-"

"I know!" He interrupted. "Everything about you has made me this _person_ that I don't want to be. I _hate _Sirius because of how he feels about you. I _hate _watching you leave on these missions that you won't tell me about. I _hate _feeling like I can't protect you."

"I don't need protection, Remus!"

"I _hate _that you don't let me take care of you. I _hate _that you don't need me," he said dangerously. Hermione didn't understand. She supposed she didn't mind when certain people took care of her, but Remus wasn't one of those people. Remus loved the girl he'd met when she first came here. He loved the girl who depended on him. She remembered what he'd said to her in the hospital wing when she'd complained about needing them.

_Well, I personally think it's nice to have someone need me. No one has ever needed me before._

Remus was looking at her sadly when she looked back up at him.

"I hate _hating_, Hermione."

Hermione eyes began to water and she took a step back from him. When her knees hit the edge of the bed she collapsed so that she was sitting.

Her eyes darted around her and she could feel her heartbeat down to her toes.

"Are you…" She swallowed painfully and looked anywhere but his eyes. She couldn't even ask the question, but he seemed to know where she was going.

He sighed and sat down next to her. She turned her head away, so he couldn't see her cry.

"I'm sorry, Hermione."

She glanced at him.

She sounded tortured when she choked out a simple, "Why?"

"Please don't cry," he said miserably.

She narrowed her eyes and said angrily, "Don't cry? You're ending things with me for the same thing I warned you about before we even got together! And you want me not to _cry_!" Her tone was scathing.

Out of all the scenarios possible, she hadn't seen this being the outcome of their relationship.

_Him _breaking up with her because he couldn't handle her mission. Her purpose.

She stood and wrapped her arms around her middle.

"Just go, Remus."

"Hermione, I-"

"Go!"

She turned her head away from him when he stood and paused right in front of her. She squeezed her eyes shut, and missed how he reached for her for a moment before clenching his fist and backing away.

_He _couldn't handle it.

As soon as the door shut behind him she let out the sob she'd been holding back.

* * *

Walking back into the room that all the others were in was more difficult than he'd expected. Remus was standing in front of the laughing group when Lily asked loudly, "Where's Hermione?"

Remus froze and the conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt.

Everyone turned to look at him, and he flinched.

"Remus?" Lily asked nervously.

"I suspect she's still in my room," he said quietly.

Three pairs of eyes narrowed while Peter remained passed out in the corner.

"Why is she still in your room, Remus?" She asked slowly.

Remus's hand reached up and scratched at the back of his neck. He couldn't look at anyone in the room.

"What did you do?" James sounded so angry already, and Remus hadn't even told him what had happened. He decided to rip it off like a band-aid.

"I broke up with her."

"You did what!" Lily squawked.

Her hands flew to her cheeks, and she jumped up before he could even respond.

"Oh no! This is not okay." Lily started mumbling to herself as she ran out the door.

James gave Remus a deadly look before standing and following Lily from the room.

When the door slammed behind him Remus turned slowly to see Sirius looking at him with a masked expression.

"Why'd you do it?" Sirius asked.

Remus narrowed his eyes and said, "That's none of your business, Padfoot."

Sirius stood and walked slowly up to him. Remus's hands clenched into fists at his side.

"Why'd you do it, Moony?" His voice was low. Sirius could just imagine Hermione right now. Crying on Remus's bed because his idiotic friend had broken her heart. The image was just barely enough to drown out the devil on his shoulder whispering how she could be _his _now.

Remus stalked towards him gravely.

"It's none of your business, Sirius," He reiterated.

Sirius grabbed onto the front of his shirt, "Fuck that, Remus! You're not the only person here who cares about Hermione!"

"Oh, please, Sirius! Don't act like you haven't been waiting for this moment ever since we first started dating."

Sirius knew he shouldn't have said it, but he was just _so _angry. "So what if have been?"

Remus grabbed Sirius by the collar of his shirt and shoved him so that he was slammed into the wall. He was on him again in an instant with his hands fisted in his shirt.

"She's _mine, _Sirius."

Remus could feel Moony growling out possessively at the prospect of Sirius getting anywhere _near _Hermione.

Sirius snarled at him and hissed, "Not anymore."

Remus was so blinded by his rage that he started talking before he could even think it through.

"You'll _never _know her like I've known her." The implication was clear. Just yesterday they had come down from Hermione's room smelling like the same shampoo. _Hermione's _shampoo.

"You'll never do the things to her that I've done. Make her feel the way I've made her feel."

Remus pushed him even further against the wall, and hammered the last nail into his own proverbial coffin.

"I fucked her against the shower wall, and she screamed _my _name!" Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but they were stopped by the sound of a breathless voice in the doorway.

"Remus?"

Sirius looked over Remus's shoulder and cursed. Hermione was standing there in her pretty blue dress looking at them with tear filled eyes. Sirius's eyes followed the hands on her shoulders up to a furious James. He had never seen him so angry before. Standing right behind them was a shocked Lily. He looked back towards Remus who was squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"Might want to let me go, Moony," Sirius said gruffly.

Sirius huffed when Remus dropped him to the ground, and watched nervously as his friend slowly turned around to face the witch in front of him.

"Hermione, I…"

She interrupted him by striding up and slapping him right across the face.

Remus's head swung to the side, and he kept his face there pointed to the ground.

"I am not some… _feat_ to brag about! You don't get to take…" Hermione was huffing and flushed in anger. Sirius watched the tears get caught on her lashes as she struggled to get her words out. Everyone in the room was frozen. "You don't get to take _our _relationship, and use it…" She paused and put her hand over her lips to cover a sob. "Use it like this. As some kind of win over Sirius! I-" She hiccuped again and rubbed her eyes. "I trusted you not to do this! It's _our _relationship, you don't get to share..." She wiped at her cheeks in frustration. "I'm worth more than that, Remus! Even if you don't want to be with me anymore, I'm worth _more _than that."

James suddenly couldn't take it anymore and gently pulled Hermione away.

"Hermione, come on," James said quietly and led her back to the doorway as she continued to mumble incoherent strings of sentences through her tears.

Lily reached out with her arms, and Hermione fell into them.

"You should be ashamed, Remus!" Lily spat out as she pulled the shaking and mortified Hermione from the room.

Once Lily and Hermione were fully out of the room James slammed the door shut and spun on them.

He looked murderous.

Sirius tsked under his breath right as James exploded.

"First, you break her heart, and now _this_?" He pushed his glasses up his nose hastily and said, "I went in your room to Hermione sobbing her fucking eyes out, talking about how you didn't think she was worth it anymore… whatever the fuck that means, and I finally convince her to come back and just have some fun… You want to know the first thing we fucking heard as we came down the hall?"

Remus's hands went to his hair and he collapsed on the sofa.

James didn't wait for an answer. "You bragging to Sirius about how you _fucked _her against the wall!"

Remus stood abruptly and held his hands out pleadingly, "Please, James, I just lost my temper… I didn't want to hurt her, I _never _wanted to hurt her."

James exploded and punched Remus so hard in the nose that the werewolf scrambled backwards before collapsing back on the sofa.

The intensity of the moment dwindled when James bent over himself and shook out his hand.

"Bloody hell! That hurt!"

"I deserved it," Remus admitted.

James turned back on him and said, "Yeah you fucking did!"

James looked between Sirius and Remus and said dangerously, "I don't care how much you two bloody care about Hermione. This fighting needs to stop."

He pointed between the two of them. "I'm going to bed. You two have exhausted me." He snatched the bottle of firewhisky off the table in front of the sofa and made his way to the door.

He took a swig as he left through the doorway and Remus threw his head back.

Sirius gave Remus a look and said, "He's right, Moony. We're best friends."

Remus looked back at Sirius and frowned unhappily.

"You were right." Remus grabbed the second bottle of firewhiskey and took a couple deep gulps before holding it out to Sirius. "When you said she wasn't mine anymore."

Remus sounded bitter and miserable, and Sirius truly couldn't comprehend what would come over Remus to break things off with Hermione. He grabbed the bottle and took a couple sips himself.

Sirius could feel how the dynamic between the Marauders was changing. James had new priorities. Remus and Sirius had new tension between them that they had never felt before.

He could still feel the anger for Moony simmering just beneath the surface, but he repressed it as he collapsed on the cushions next to him.

Peter suddenly flew up in the corner and started crawling towards the door, "Gonna vomit," their friend slurred.

At least Peter was consistent.

* * *

**AN: SO I have had that break up scene and the following fight between Sirius and Remus written since chapter three. I have been hinting at Remus being unable to handle that part of Hermione since he first found out.**

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**Seeing extra kind reviews seriously make my day. Thank you especially to sherriithewriter for her review! Almost cried when I saw it not gonna lie;') Such kind words.**

**I did get a bit of a scathing review from a guest (so I can't respond personally), so I am just going to write a response right here and hope you see it. I agree with what you said about how I shouldn't make Remus wait for Tonks… BUT Hermione being Hermione, she **_**would**_ **think about how Remus had this great relationship with Tonks in the future. It may not affect whether she dates him or not, but that would be a thought she had. I couldn't leave it out! You then accused me of using that as just a method to create drama and a cop out for Remus and Hermione to break up, but I put an intense amount of planning into this fic. I analyzed all the characters, and I think logically in this situation Hermione and Remus wouldn't work. He's protective and scared in the emotions department. He doesn't have the self worth he'd need to properly be with this Hermione. BUT their relationship isn't pointless at all. It makes sense that Hermione would love Remus. But when things get hard, Remus hides, and things are definitely getting hard. Their break-up will have absolutely ****nothing** **to do with Tonks. And Remus is one of my absolute favorite characters in the HP verse so if you think I just want to make him miserable for the sake of drama you are quite off there. The whole point of writing a story is for it to have a story arc. You also said that I should've just put Sirius with Hermione to begin with but that also doesn't work because there was no way in hell fifteen year old sirius was ready for the commitment that is Hermione Granger. You telling me I should have the decency to give Remus a love now when Hermione and him haven't even broken up had me ? The story isn't done yet! **

**Sorry to go off on that tangent, but that review wasn't even constructive criticism it was just rude. I am also tired of getting reviews reacting negatively to the character relationships when I have had in the summary since chapter one that it was minor Remione with eventual Sirimione. And a heck of a slow burn for the Sirimione. I mean… you knew what you were getting yourself into!**

**I do love criticism, but there's a respectful way to do it! If you don't like the actual plot, then maybe you should write your own fanfiction where Hermione is with Remus from start to finish!**

**Sorry for that rant! Needed to get it off my chest. I have trouble continuing the story when I see reviews regarding dislike of my storyline. Which I guess I need to get used to if I am going to write. **


	26. Tattoos

**AN: the last chapter was a brutal one lol. **

**I feel like I need to explain why exactly I wrote Remus that way in the past chapter. Even in the books Remus spoke bitterly about how Sirius always got the girl. THAT and he refused a relationship with Tonks and left her when she was pregnant so I felt it wasn't that out of character for remus (for lack of better word lol) to tap out of the situation his relationship with Hermione had put him in.**

**Karo190204: The Marauders friendship will not be ruined I promise! There will be amends!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Tattoos**

Lily, Remus, and Peter all packed up and left in the next couple of days, but even after they had left, Hermione refused to leave her room. Tilly brought her meals to her room, but the elf wasn't too happy about it. Even the hits from her various kitchen utensils didn't get Hermione out of bed. It surprised everyone when Charlus was the one to break her new habit about three weeks after the 'great coup de grace' as Sirius and James had taken to referring to it.

The four occupants of the house had started taking turns attempting to break the depression Hermione had spiralled into, and afterwards every time they would meet and discuss what they tried and how it didn't work _at all._

Remus had sent Hermione an owl everyday (sometimes more than one) with varying versions of apologies. He was begging her for forgiveness, and all of which had gone unanswered. The pile next to her bedside was starting to grow exponentially with nearly forty letters of apologies spilling over the edges. Every time they came in, Hermione would be laying on her side staring at the offending pile like it was the very offender in question.

That's why Charlus coming down from one of his attempts with a huge grin, shocked everyone.

He sat down on what was known as his arm chair in the main living room, and smirked.

"Turns out our Hermione is weak in the face of bribery."

James actually laughed and said, "What exactly did you bribe her with?"

Charlus picked up the Daily Prophet and said loftily, "All it took was throwing a pouch of galleons at her and telling her that Flourish and Blott's got a new shipment of books today."

James slapped a hand to his forehead and said, "Why didn't I think of that!"

Hermione came down the stairs then in another one of the simple sundresses that kept appearing in her closet and a nervous expression.

"Lavender is a fetching color on you, dear."

Hermione blushed and shifted nervously on her feet.

"Thanks, mum."

James and Sirius were giving her a proud look, so Hermione tucked one of the shorter curls behind her ear and turned towards the floo.

"I shouldn't be too long I think," she said with her back to them as she stepped up on her toes to reach for some floo powder.

"You want company?" James asked excitedly.

"No thanks!" Hermione shouted right before calling out her destination and stepping through.

* * *

Hermione stepped through the floo in the leaky and immediately made her way towards Flourish and Blott's.

Hermione hated to admit it, but as soon as she stepped onto the cobbled streets of Diagon Alley, she felt like the fresh air was blowing away a lot of her pain. She took a deep breath and started walking towards the book shop. Walking in brought her an even lighter feeling than being outside had.

She lost herself in the books for nearly three hours and ended up walking out with nearly twelve of them shrunken in her bag.

As soon as she stepped out, she came to a grinding halt when Pandora was standing right in front of her.

Before Hermione could even greet her, the slightly batty witch had wrapped her hand around her elbow and was pulling her in the direction of the leaky again.

"I imagine you're hungry?"

Hermione let out a light laugh and said, "Yes, I suppose."

Hermione let Pandora lead her all the way to a booth in the back of the pub where they both ordered a serving of fish and chips.

"So, Hermione Granger, I have met the _most _inspired man."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up. "Is that so?"

"Yes. He is the editor of the Quibbler, and he has the most wonderful ideas regarding creatures and wizarding law."

Slowly the smirk on Hermione's face grew.

"He has promised to take me on an expedition across Northern Europe as soon as I finish my seventh year to explore my theories on Crumple-Horned Snorkacks."

Hermione actually giggled at this.

"He sounds perfect," she said through her laughs.

Pandora gave her a knowing look. "Yes, I imagine he is."

Hermione actually found Pandora's continued ramblings on the opinions of Xenophilius distracting in the best possible way. Hermione couldn't stop laughing, and she was remembering the positives to being in this time. Pandora talking about her interactions with Xenophilius brought her insight on Luna. It was an odd connection that she hadn't quite braced herself for yet.

At the end of their meal, Pandora pulled a pair of crazyberry earrings from her bag and said quietly, "They'll help heal your broken heart." She placed a gentle hand on Hermione's cheek and added, "Remus will be a wonderful friend to you, if you let him."

After Pandora left, Hermione decided she wasn't taking any chances and quickly put the earrings in. When she caught her reflection in the mirror of the loo, she saw that it was a bundle of berries similar to grapes hanging from her ears in varying reds and purples.

She laughed to herself as she left the leaky in favor of wandering the streets again.

It wasn't long before two familiar redheads latched onto her elbows and started walking with her.

"Well, look who it is."

"Our very own-"

"Special bird."

Hermione glared up at the Prewett twins and pulled from their clutches so that she was standing in front of them.

"Hullo, boys."

Gideon reached forward and yanked one of her curls down.

"I like this new style, birdy."

"I don't," she said with a scowl.

"Always so angry!" Fabian crossed his arms over his chest and nudged his brother.

"I say we give it to her now."

"See if we can get her to smile, brother!"

Fabian reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small cloth bag.

"We been carrying this around, we have."

"Just finished the charms on it."

"Brilliant we are, you'll see!"

Hermione nervously took the pouch from their hands and pulled the string to open it. It was a delicate looking watch with a worn brown leather strap. When she flipped it over to look at the watch face she gasped. It was a version of the clock Molly Weasley kept in her home.

Hermione's eyes darted between the two proud looking twins before turning to the clock face again. Her fingers ran over the glass, and a huge smile spread over her face.

She handed one of them the pouch and started to put the watch on. When she struggled with the buckle, Fabian reached out and clasped it for her.

"We didn't know who you would want to add to it, but we went ahead and added James, Charlus, and Dorea." She watched as Dorea, Charlus, and James's clock hands ticked infinitesimally over the small word 'home.' She hadn't realized until that moment how true it was that Potter Manor was her home.

"It's perfect," she directed her smile at them. It was hard for her to tear her eyes away from the clock face even for a moment.

"Ah! There it is!"

"Perhaps you'll show it to us more often," Gideon smirked at her.

Her smile dropped when she said, "Doubt it. How do I add another person?"

"It's easy enough…"

"Especially with our instructions that we put in that pouch."

Hermione surprised both of them when she wrapped her arms around them and pulled them close for a hug.

"You don't know how much I appreciate this!"

The twins actually looked sheepish when she pulled away.

"We also put a permanent tempus charm on it, so it's not just good for locating your family."

"Yes, it also functions as an actual watch!" Gideon finished.

Hermione gave them both light kisses on the cheek before departing again to run a few small errands. She was worried that as soon as she went back to Potter Manor the small depression she was in would crash over her like an oncoming wave. She checked her watch after a trip to the apothecary and saw that it was nearly time for dinner. That was what made her decide she should probably head back to Potter Manor before James sent out search parties.

All of her anxiety disappeared when she stepped out of the floo to James's and Sirius's raucous laughter echoing from the dining room. She steeled herself and walked purposely to the dining room. Hermione Granger didn't _mope. _She was done being the sad, broken-hearted girl who didn't leave her room.

And as much as she hated to admit it, Pandora had proven herself scarily accurate as far as cryptic advice about the future went.

_Remus will be a wonderful friend to you, if you let him._

Maybe she wasn't _ready_ for that, but she was open to the idea. Three weeks and she already missed him.

Hermione walked into the room and was relieved when for the first time the Potter's and Sirius didn't make a big show about her reentering society after a spiral.

"Hullo," she said as happily as she could manage.

She took her normal seat next to James and across from Sirius and immediately started to fill a dinner plate.

"New earrings?" Sirius asked in amusement.

Hermione touched the crazyberries fondly and said with a withering look, "Pandora."

"New watch?" James asked as he snatched her wrist. "Blimey! This is so cool!"

Hermione actually beamed, "Yes, the Prewett twins are actually quite clever."

"The Prewett twins gave this to you?" James asked with a bit of an awestruck expression.

"Pass it over!" Sirius demanded.

Hermione pulled her wrist out of James's hand and close to her own chest. She was reluctant to part with it. Sirius's eyebrows shot up, and Hermione sighed. "Fine!"

She took it off and handed it to him before passing it to Dorea and Charlus for inspection.

"I think I'm going to add a few more hands to it." Hermione started to cut her chicken as she continued without really thinking, "Sirius and Lily. Oh and Remus of course…" She trailed off with the fork frozen halfway to her mouth. "Actually, maybe I'll wait before I add anyone to it." She sighed and started eating, so she wouldn't have to look at their faces.

Dorea surprised her when she said, "Remus was your friend first, Hermione."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock before narrowing dangerously.

"Oh no," James muttered under his breath.

"Friends don't do what he did," Hermione hissed.

She started angrily stabbing at her food, and the other four at the table watched her with mild trepidation as her hair began to spark.

"What did he do, dear?"

Dorea and Charlus had tried to weasel the information out of Sirius and James, but the most they could get was James angrily saying, "He betrayed her trust."

Hermione stabbed another piece of chicken before saying, "Nothing, it's not important!"

She shoved the chicken in her mouth, and Dorea wrinkled her nose in masked disapproval.

"Perhaps, you should talk about it. Get it out of your system," Charlus encouraged.

Hermione took a few deep gulps of her water before standing with her chair scraping the ground.

"Not ready," she said matter-of-factly and made her way back out of the dining room out and towards the stairs.

All remaining eyes flew to Charlus when he let out a dry laugh and said, "I wouldn't want to be Remus right now."

"Why?" James was confused. All she did last time was cry.

Dorea smirked and said, "Our dear girl has moved her focus from heartbreak to anger."

James paled and said, "Oh, Merlin… she's going to kill Moony!"

* * *

Sirius stood in front of her door for maybe thirty minutes before he finally talked himself out of his anxieties and knocked on her door. Sirius Black didn't get anxious over some _girl_. He sighed to himself.

Who was he kidding.

Hermione wasn't some girl, and he wasn't exactly the same Sirius Black anymore.

"Come in," her soft voice called. He relaxed when he realized she didn't sound nearly as angry as she had before.

He walked in and saw her sitting cross legged on the floor in the same outfit she'd been wearing before. Set in a neat pile in front of her were all of Remus's letters.

"Hey, kitten," he said quietly. He took a step forward, so that he was standing directly to her left.

She let out a rather pitiful sniffle and whispered, "What would you do, Sirius? If you were in my shoes."

He took a moment to consider what she was asking before saying, "Get pissed." He paused then added, "Then probably get a tattoo."

Hermione's head flew around to face him, and wiped her eyes, "That's a great idea, Sirius!"

Sirius balked. "It is?" He asked doubtfully.

Her head cocked to the side in thought. "The second part at least."

A slow grin started to make its way onto his face. "You're serious?"

She laughed and cocked an eyebrow. "No, you're Sirius."

He was still reeling from the complete 180 in her mood by the time she had thrown her shoes back on and started dragging him through the house to the traveling room.

"Wait are we really doing this?" He asked dumbly.

She paused right in front of the floo. She turned and gave him a nervous look. "Well, I'm going to, but I suppose if you don't want to, you don't have to."

Sirius laughed and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. "If you're in, I'm in."

They flooed to the Leaky before stepping out into Muggle London.

Hermione hadn't thought as far as an actual tattoo shop, but she was saved when Sirius seemed to know exactly where he was going.

He was holding her hand loosely as he pulled her through the bustling nightlife of London.

"You know where you're going, Sirius?" She asked incredulously.

The rational side of her brain was starting to catch up with the impulsive, and she was starting to have doubts.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled mischievously at her. "I've been here before, kitten."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up, and her grip on his hand tightened when a few drunk men stumbled out of a bar laughing loudly. Sirius pulled her closer, so that she was tucked into his side. There were a lot of people out for it being near ten in the evening.

Hermione's nervousness didn't fade at all when Sirius stopped in front of what looked like an abandoned building. It looked like a foreclosed storefront, but the longer she stared at it, the more she noticed the odd shimmering on the signs and paint. Sirius knocked on the front door with his knuckles and waited.

"Sirius, are you sure this is-"

Hermione was cut off when the door swung open and someone that looked remarkably like Sirius stood in the opening. He was a few inches taller, but he had the same remarkable hair and strong jawline. The only difference was his dark brown eyes.

"Why are my eyes deceiving me, or did Sirius Black just show up on my doorstep?" The man's dark and amused eyes turned on a confused Hermione and he let out a laugh, "And he brought a pretty little bird with him. She looks too good for you, mate!"

"Stubby," Sirius grinned and held his hand out for a manly greeting.

Once they had let go Sirius wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and pulled her close to him. Stubby's eyes landed on Hermione again, and he gave her a once-over that had her wrinkling her nose.

"Hermione this is Stubby Boardman." Hermione held her hand out to him and plastered a smile on her face.

"Hullo," she said pleasantly.

"Hullo, indeed." Stubby drawled before taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. She cursed herself when a blush spread across her cheeks, but Stubby just winked at her. He maintained eye-contact when he said, "Definitely too good for you, mate."

Hermione pulled her hand from his and gathered herself enough to say, "I reckon I'm too good for you too then." Sirius guffawed, and Stubby's face dropped into a shocked expression before he broke into a disbelieving smirk.

"Oh, I like her. She's a little minx. I bet she'd-"

Sirius's laughs died out and he interrupted menacingly, "Watch it, Stubby!"

Stubby held his hands up in mock surrender and then stepped back with a bow. "Alright, alright, got it. I'll restrain myself. Now, are you here for a real reason or just showing off?"

Sirius seemed to relax against her as he pulled her into the shop at Stubby's urging.

Hermione quietly observed her surroundings as Stubby and Sirius reunited. They were in a room similar to a muggle tattoo shop, but the wallpaper was dark blue and fluttering across the entire room were various silvery designs. Hermione made her way around the wall and studied all of them in awe. After a few minutes, she paused in front of one in particular.

"You want that one?" Hermione turned and looked at a smiling Sirius. Stubby was somewhere behind them talking to a young witch covered in tattoos. Hermione turned back to the one she was looking at and smiled sadly. She reached out, and her fingertips ghosted over it lightly.

It was a lightning bolt.

She supposed it was kind of morbid, but she smiled at the idea that she would have something of Harry's with her forever. She had no keepsakes. Nothing to remember him by besides her memory, and even that could be taken away from her.

"Yeah this is the one."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and rested his chin on top of her curls.

"I like it."

She was thankful he didn't ask any questions about why she wanted that one in particular.

Stubby said something about being right back, and Hermione asked, "How do you know him?"

"Met him at Hogwarts. He was a couple years ahead of us, but dropped out before his Seventh Year. You know the Hobgoblins?"

Hermione nodded against his head.

"He's the lead singer."

Hermione turned around to face him, and Sirius's arms dropped to his side. "What's he doing running a tattoo shop in the middle of Muggle London?"

Sirius smirked, leaned forward, and whispered like it was some kind of great secret, "Him and the tattoo artist are somewhat… _intertwined_ you could say."

Hermione blushed and nodded in understanding.

"Ah. Gotcha."

Sirius poked her blushing cheek affectionately right as Stubby reappeared with the witch from before.

"Alright, what can I do you for, Sirius?" The witch was rather pretty, with short blonde hair and delicate features. She had big green eyes that Hermione would have perceived as innocent if it weren't for her arms being completely covered in tattoos and her explicit muggle t-shirt.

"Actually, Doris, it's Hermione here that wants the tattoo."

The witch turned and grinned at Hermione.

Once she'd shown her which one she wanted, Hermione was sat on one of the tall chairs close to where her design had been.

Sirius was sitting down next to her talking to Doris when Hermione started to unbutton the top of her dress.

Sirius paused and stared at her with wide eyes.

"What are you doing, kitten?"

Hermione tried to give him a nonchalant shrug when she said, "I want it on my ribs."

Once Hermione had her dress unbuttoned down to the seam at her waist she pulled the skinny straps down and let it fall. She was in a simple black bra, and her dress was pooled at the bottom of her ribs. After Sirius got over the initial shock of seeing Hermione in her bra, he realized that she had scars running all over torso. He made eye contact with Doris and silently urged her not to say anything about them. When Hermione wasn't looking at her the witch's lips turned down into a confused frown before nodding in acceptance. Sirius looked up into Hermione's resigned eyes before looking back at the scars he could see.

Sirius reached forward and ran his thumb along one of her white scars, and Hermione shivered.

Doris pressed the tip of her wand into Hermione's ribs and Sirius's hand left her waist and found her fingers. She watched as he silently studied her scars with thinning lips, and when his eyes met hers, she could see the anger building in his grey irises.

"It's okay," she whispered to him. She could feel his misdirected guilt flying off of him in waves. "It was a long time ago."

Sirius shook his head and pulled her hand up to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist. It really wasn't that long ago, but so much had happened since then that it felt like ages.

The tattoo didn't hurt, like she supposed muggle ones did. It rather just felt tingly like when your foot falls asleep. Once it was done, Doris held up a hand held mirror and Hermione smiled at the reflection.

It was a simple three inch outline, and she'd asked Doris for it to be stationary like a regular one. Hermione's free hand lightly touched it, and she hadn't realized she was crying until Sirius brushed the single tear away.

"You alright, kitten?"

She beamed up at him, and said, "It's perfect."

* * *

After Hermione had buttoned her dress back up and tried to pay Doris to no avail (she insisted it was on the house), Sirius led her back out of the shop.

As they were making their way down their way back to the floo at the Leaky, Hermione poked Sirius in the side.

"Why didn't you get one?"

He smiled down at her and said, "I saw you yawning in there. We'll come back another time."

"It didn't take very long though?" Hermione asked in confusion.

Sirius wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her so that her head was against his shoulder, "It's alright, kitten. I have all the time in the world to get more tattoos."

Hermione's fingers went to her dragon pendant. She squeezed her eyes shut and let him blindly lead her through the streets.

She hoped he had all the time in the world.

* * *

**AN: Thanks as always, for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**A short, bit of a filler chapter. It picks up again from here!**


	27. Amortentia

**AN: Nearly 400 followers. Blown away.**

**Wow when I said this was a slowburn Sirimione I rlly meant it… Did NOT realize it would take longer than 110k+ words to get to this point. **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Amortentia**

Hermione had dug her heels so deep into the ground as far as responding to Remus went that there was no responding to him at this point.

The morning of their inevitable return to Hogwarts, she carefully stacked all of his letters in a small wooden box and held onto it tightly. She tried to participate in the high energy of breakfast and trip to the Platform, but she was so nervous about seeing Remus that all she could manage were a few smiles and some nervous laughter.

She was determined to get the inevitable conversation out of the way as soon as possible, so as soon as she'd said her goodbyes to Dorea and Charlus and passed her trunk off to James, she made her way on the train.

She fidgeted with her dragon pendant as she made her way up the train, making sure to check every compartment. She found him somewhere in the middle, sitting in the corner with his nose in the book. She studied him through the small glass window for a moment.

He looked closer to how he'd looked when she first met him. He was pale and skinny and looked like he was about to vomit.

Her eyes watered at the sight. She was here to save everyone, and Remus was a part of that. He'd hurt her, but she couldn't imagine living with the guilt of separating Remus from his friends.

She slowly slid the compartment open and shut it behind her. His head flew up and his eyes widened at the sight of her.

Hermione took a deep breath and sat directly in front of him on the edge of the bench. She looked around the compartment, so she wouldn't have to look at him and her knuckles turned white from her grip on the box.

"Hermione…" Remus breathed out like a sigh of relief.

Her eyes finally met his, and she had to blink rapidly so she wouldn't cry. It'd been over a month since she'd seen him, and that thought alone, hurt more than anything.

She sucked in a breath and held it when he started talking again, "I'm _so _sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I don't even know why I said those things, I was just _so _angry, and-"

"Remus." She interrupted. He froze and watched as she let go of the box with one hand to tug on one of her curls nervously. She opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped when he started speaking again.

"I shouldn't have broken up with you."

Hermione's eyes widened.

At the look on her face, he continued, "I regretted it as soon as I left you in that room. And I know there's next to no chance you'll take me back, but I love you, Hermione. I can't imagine I'll ever _not_ love you."

Hermione could feel herself melting, but then she remembered what he'd said. He _hated _who he became when he was dating her, and her heart suddenly felt like something dark and _ugly_ had taken it in its hand and was squeezing it. She thought it was maybe a compound of guilt and grief.

"You can't take it back, Remus."

She looked away from his green eyes that seemed so resigned and placed both of her hands carefully over the box.

"I can't blame you for what you said Remus." She opened the box and ran her fingertips over the letter on the top. "I should've trusted my instincts in the beginning. It wasn't fair to you to let you think I could have any kind of real relationship until the war is over."

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Remus said miserably. She imagined how much he must've tortured himself over the past month. How hard the full moon must've been without the rest of the Marauders there. How much he must've been wallowing in his own self hatred over his temper fueled words. Though, she was angry and hurt over him sharing, she knew that the blame wasn't completely on him. Sirius must've said something. Remus's temper, though intense, was never unprovoked. Hermione sniffled and smiled sadly at him.

"There's nothing to forgive, Remus," she whispered.

He looked like he didn't agree with her one bit, but Hermione decided that she wouldn't spend any longer working to convince him. She carefully shut the box and stood with her hand out.

When he just stared at it she said quietly, "I need you as my friend, Remus." He looked up at her, _so _grateful that Hermione felt that maybe she was doing her part in saving the sad and lonely werewolf. Although she wasn't the one for him, that didn't mean he had to be alone. "I reckon Sirius, James, and Peter need you as well."

That did it, and Remus took her hand and allowed her to pull him down the aisle and towards the compartment all the way at the back that she knew the other three would be occupying.

When they stepped through the other three gave astonished looks for maybe a second before they all broke into grins. Hermione released his hand and took her place on the bench in between Sirius and James.

Soon the four boys were laughing and snacking on sweets from the trolley and the same comforting thought was running through her mind.

Maybe everything would be alright.

* * *

As had become an odd sort of tradition for them, Hermione snuck out after curfew their first night back to meet Regulus in the Astronomy Tower.

The first thing he said after they'd cast privacy spells, had her chilled to her very core.

"He knows there's a spy."

Hermione paled and latched onto the sleeve of his uniform. "Does he-"

"He doesn't suspect me," Regulus said immediately.

Hermione sagged in relief and dropped her forehead against his upper arm. "Oh, thank Merlin."

Regulus laughed humorlessly and patted the top of her head as affectionately as he could manage before Hermione stepped back to relieve his discomfort.

He sighed and stepped up to the rail. "After that raid on the Bones he had his suspicions. Luckily, I wasn't supposed to know about it, so he doesn't even know that I am to be suspected. I overheard my parents talking over it in my father's study."

Hermione glanced out at the grounds before looking up at Regulus seriously. "Be careful, Regulus. Your life is just as important as the ones we are trying to save."

Regulus scoffed and gave her a look like she'd just said the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "I should say the same about you, pet." He adopted a highly concerned expression and said gravely, "You've caught Dolohov's eye. At the meeting following the raid, he mentioned a young witch who fought like a trained soldier." He raised an impressed brow, but she could see in his eyes that just the mention of Dolohov had him sick to his stomach.

"I'll just say that Dolohov's… _interest_… isn't new to me."

Regulus sighed and straightened. "I do have good news."

Hermione smiled hopefully up at him.

"Cissa and Lucius are getting married. They've just started negotiating contracts."

Hermione frowned in confusion and opened her mouth to ask him to expand, but then she got it.

Her eyes widened and she gasped, "The diary!"

Regulus smirked. "I imagine the Malfoy's will host some kind of stuffy and overly-elegant engagement party at the Manor in the coming months. That Malfoys have a tradition of Spring weddings, so my guess is it will be sometime in December. Especially considering nothing is official yet."

Hermione paled at the mere mention of going back to Malfoy Manor. It had been an abstract thought, but this was _very_ concrete. There were no questions about whether or not she would be going with him. She would have to steal James's invisibility cloak.

"Well this is definitely good news," Hermione tried to reassure herself, and she knew Regulus could sense her reluctance, but as usual, he didn't comment. Hermione cleared her throat. "I'm worried about Peter."

He cringed, and Hermione's concern multiplied.

"What do they have on him?" She asked dangerously.

Regulus turned to her and sighed. "It's not that. They are promising him… things."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and asked, "What things, Regulus?"

He scowled and crossed his arms over his chest before turning back out towards the opening. "Oh, you know, the usual. Glory. Riches. Power."

"And it's working?" Hermione asked nervously.

"I would say he's sixty-forty right now."

"Towards?"

He gave her one look and she understood. They were losing Peter.

Her fingers went to her temples, and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't know what to do," she said helplessly.

When she opened her eyes the corner of Regulus's mouth twitched up, "I can't believe the great Hermione Granger just admitted one of her own weaknesses."

She lashed out and punched him in the arm. "Hush, you!" She watched in amusement as he feigned pain before adding, "I'm human too you know."

She watched as a rare smile took over his expression and he said, "Could've fooled me." The smile dropped in an instant. "I don't know if there's anything you can do, Granger."

She scowled at him and said, "Don't say that!"

He shrugged. "I'm sure if there's a way, you'll find it, pet." He stepped towards the stairwell then and dropped the charms. "I'll leave you to head to your lion's den. You'll take care of yourself?"

Hermione said with a touch of humor, "Don't I always?"

He gave her a withering look and she laughed.

"Same to you then, Regulus."

* * *

Classes starting had Hermione in a relatively good mood. Things weren't exactly the same with the Marauders, but they were back to pranking the innocent and scheming in the common room much to Lily's annoyance. She took great pleasure in debunking their plans before they could act on them, and Hermione took great pleasure in being a third party observer.

The first few weeks passed with little to no happenings and before she knew it, the first Quidditch Match for Gryffindor was upon them. Hermione came down to breakfast with her radish earrings and Potter jumper, and was surprised to find herself excited. She'd avoided all the Quidditch matches like the plague last year, but this year she promised herself she'd make it to at least one.

When she took her seat beside Sirius, he wrapped an arm around her neck and rubbed the top of her head with his knuckles. She shrieked and started pushing on his arms, but he didn't budge.

"And why exactly aren't you wearing the shirt I made you, kitten?"

Once Hermione freed herself from his arms, she scowled at him and sniffed indignantly. "If you must know, Sirius, I am, in fact, wearing it." She pulled up her Potter jumper to reveal the Black's number one fan shirt below it and Sirius's smirk turned into a genuine smile.

"We can't lose now, Prongs! Hermione has tossed her lot in with us!"

James pressed a hand to his chest and stated dramatically, "I will leave my heart and soul on the pitch to win in your honor, dear sister!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, shove it!"

She started filling her plate and watched on in amusement as James about fainted when Lily, for the first time in over five years of knowing him, took the seat beside him at the table.

Lily pretended like nothing was out of the ordinary, but there was a faint blush on her cheeks that had Hermione smiling like a fool.

"Lily-flower! You are looking absolutely stunning this fine morning. Will you be supporting me at the Quidditch match?" James said all of this with a commendable amount of calm in his voice. Hermione turned and gave Sirius a surprised look and he smiled like the two of them were sharing a secret.

That look alone had shivers running up her spine that she fought valiantly to suppress. She failed, and Sirius gave her a wolfish grin.

Her eyes quickly turned back to James and Lily.

Lily scowled at James and said loftily, "I will be going to the Quidditch match to support _Gryffindor_. Not _you._"

James smiled dreamily at his toast and said, "Close enough."

There was a distinct air of excitement in the Great Hall that morning, and Hermione found herself happily walking down to the pitch with Lily on one elbow and Marlene on the other an hour later. Peter and Remus trailed a few paces behind them.

Hermione looked up at the sky and took a deep breath of the crisp fall air. It was relaxing, if a little cold, to be outdoors.

Marlene, who was quite a bit taller than Hermione, leaned down and whispered, "What happened with Remus, Hermione?"

Hermione turned her head to the side and watch out of the corner of her eye as Remus's eyes darted towards them. There was no way Marlene would've known that he would be able to hear her.

Hermione spun her head back around and kicked at a spare pebble as they continued their walk. "It was just bad timing, I suppose." Hermione turned to try and smile up at the girl, but Marlene just gave her a knowing look. Hermione could feel Remus's eyes burning into the side of her face, so she quickly looked forward again.

"Rubbish." Marlene said.

Hermione looked up at her in shock and sputtered out, "Marlene!"

Lily snorted next to her, and Hermione glared at the red-head.

"Oh, come off it, Hermione," Marlene said with a sigh. She tossed her blonde hair behind her shoulder and leaned down again to say, "I personally believe there are other reasons. I see the way you look at Sirius."

Hermione became painfully aware that Remus was listening to every word of the conversation. Hermione was confused about her feelings towards Sirius, and although she was started to figure out that they were anything but _friendly_ feelings, that had nothing to do with her parting from Remus. Hermione had a pained expression on her face as they started to make their way up the stairs, and Marlene seemed to have misinterpreted it.

"Don't worry about me in that regard. Sirius was just a bit of fun," Marlene waved her hand dismissively, and Hermione thanked Merlin when the two girls sandwiched Hermione in between them once they got to their seats and changed the subject to some gossip to do with someone Hermione had never heard before.

Hermione allowed them to talk over her and watched as the Gryffindor Quidditch team took to the pitch. She ignored the announcer and Lily and Marlene's excited shouts and watched as Sirius appeared in front of them on his broom looking much like the arrogant, womanizing, prick that everyone suspected him to be. He waved and smirked at the swooning girls but stopped and hovered right in front of Hermione. She could feel her heart beating heavily in her chest and every girl (and some boys) were on the edge of their seat holding their breath for whatever the great Sirius Black would do.

Hermione was staring into his eyes thinking they were all rather silly when Sirius gave her a cheeky smile and wandlessly vanished her Potter sweater.

She could almost _feel_ everyone in the stands that could see her shirt drawing conclusions. She blushed heavily and scowled up at Sirius.

"Sirius!" She screeched indignantly and shivered when a gust of air ruffled her curls. Goosebumps covered her arms and Hermione scowled up at him. He looked much too pleased with himself.

Just then James went zooming by and tossed a calla lily at his beloved and the attention was finally off her and Sirius. She watched with disdain as he flew off and the match begun.

She hugged herself to block the chill and was festering in her outrage until Lily leaned over and whispered, "Sirius Black just claimed you in front of nearly the entire school."

Hermione paled and looked over at her friend. "What are you on about, Lily?" She hissed.

Lily smirked, and Hermione decided she really didn't like the way the smug expression looked on her. "He made sure he had everyone's attention, and then he made sure everyone knew that you were _his_ fan. _His_ witch."

"Don't be ridiculous." Hermione's voice sounded small even to herself, and she cringed when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Remus was standing behind her holding out his own worn tan jumper. Underneath he was wearing a simple long sleeve shirt. Hermione frowned.

"Won't you be cold, Remus?"

He smiled that same watery and sad smile that she was getting from him at every turn lately and promptly started to pull the sweater over her head. When her curls fought there way out and her face was revealed to him, she had tears in her eyes.

She suspected Lily was listening, but no one else was paying attention to the two bookish Gryffindors' conversation. He tucked one of her curls behind her ear affectionately.

"I didn't not take you back because of Sirius," she rushed out. Her voice was so low, even she could barely hear it, but of course he had. She shuddered and avoided his eyes. "You need to know that, Remus."

Remus nodded, and she knew from the relieved look in his eye that he had needed to hear it.

"I promise you," she whispered.

He pulled away then and tucked his hands back into the pockets. She finally looked up into his green eyes and could see the warmth that had been present all of their friendship. Ever since she'd held onto his elbow walking to Flourish and Blott's on that warm day in June.

As they stared at each other the crowd erupted into excited cheers, and she was pulled from her revery.

She turned back and pulled her arms through the sleeves right as Marlene grabbed her arm and started to jump up and down with the crowd.

"Ravenclaw can stuff it!"

* * *

Gryffindor finally caught the snitch a couple hours later, and Hermione found herself walking with Marlene to meet the boys down at the Pitch.

Sirius came bounding towards them and wrapped his arms around both their shoulders. He was sweating and breathing heavily, but when he laughed excitedly and pressed a smacking kiss to the top of Hermione's curls, she found herself wholly enamored.

_Enamored_.

Perhaps, that was how she would define her confused feelings.

She may be unable to squash them, but she _refused _to act on them.

Gryffindor had a party that night in the Common Room, but Sirius found himself not in the mood to party.

Instead, he sat on the sofa against the wall and watched Hermione read one of her novels at the small table in the opposite corner.

She had told him he'd played well in a way that had little to no depth that had left him so thoroughly confused that he couldn't look away from her all night.

No one bothered her at that table. The noise of the party didn't seem to bother her either as she continued to focus on whatever it is she was reading.

Sirius sat and watched and patiently waited for everyone to leave the room before he called out to her.

"Kitten." His voice was as quiet as it could be to have her still hear him, and he studied her as her head snapped up and she looked around in surprised at the fact that they were the only ones remaining. He waited until she looked back at him to say, "Come here."

He grew even more confused over her behavior when she adopted a weary expression before slowly standing and shuffling her way across the Common Room until she was standing right in front of him. He watched her shift nervously on her feet. When he couldn't take it anymore, he grabbed her hand and roughly pulled her so that she collapsed on the sofa next to him.

She fought him off weakly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged until she was curled up into his side. His hand found her curls, and as he started to gently run his fingers through them, he felt her begin to relax against him.

They didn't say anything for a while. There was so much that _should _be said, but they were both too comfortable in their cloud of silence.

Their relationship now consisted of unfinished conversations and expectations. He didn't know how long they sat there with each other before she finally said something.

"You should talk to Regulus."

He didn't know what he'd been expecting from her, but that hadn't been it. He shifted to sit up, but her arms that had previously been tucked into her lap wrapped around his waist and trapped him there.

"Don't," she whispered.

Don't _what? _Don't sit up? Don't leave her there? Don't pull away from her?

He suspected she meant not to shut himself away from her.

Something Hermione was keen on was someone expressing their vulnerabilities.

He relaxed back into the couch and pressed his nose into her hair.

"What does Reg have to do with anything?" He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he was never very good at hiding his feelings.

"He's your family, Sirius."

She sounded miserable. He opened his mouth to quip back something about how he had no desire to be a part of a family of bigoted arseholes. Or maybe something about how his brother was shoved so far up Voldemort's arse that he had no plans of ever talking to him again.

There were more things than that that he wanted to say, but her _voice_. It was _so _miserable.

He rested his cheek against her head and sighed. "James is my family. Dorea and Charlus are my family. _You're _my family."

He felt something cold against his shirt and realized she must be crying, so he pulled her impossibly closer.

"Did your mother… Did she really…"

Sirius knew what she was trying to ask. His hate filled words from all those months ago hissed in his mind.

_How's mummy dearest, Reg? Has she started beating the living shit out of you yet?_

He didn't want to talk about it. Not like this. Jokes and insults he could do, but tender moments with this witch in a silent common room? That was another story.

"That and worse," he settled on.

It was just vague enough that she could understand the implications, but not the specifics.

"Remember that night before the Coup de Grace?"

Hermione sighed at the change in subject and the silly title they'd given her falling out with Remus. When she thought about what he was asking, she had to put conscious effort into not running to her own room.

She'd had a panic attack.

Then she'd essentially told Sirius she was working for the Order.

Then he'd said the conversation wasn't over.

Hermione couldn't decide if talking about this was better or worse than talking about her apparent feelings for him.

"Yes," she responded slowly.

"I want to join this group."

"What group?" She tried. But her voice shook, and she had always been told she was a _shite _liar.

"The one you, Dorea, and Charlus sneak off to. I'm not playing games, Hermione."

Hermione tried to pull away, but this time it was Sirius that held her in place.

She could feel her nerves standing on end, so she grabbed a hold of her dragon pendant to have something to hold onto that wasn't the boy who had her wrapped so tightly in his arms that she couldn't move.

"You can't," she said finally.

He gritted his teeth and said carefully, "Why not?"

It wouldn't do well to piss her off on this matter, he was sure.

"You can when you learn occlumency."

Hermione didn't know what possessed her to say it. She should've known her audience. Sirius simply pressed his nose to her hair again. She could feel his smile in his next words.

"Then teach me, kitten."

This time when she pulled away they mutually let go of each other, and Hermione found herself trapped by his gaze. His silvery grey eyes were looking at her like this was a simple dare in a childish game. Do it. I dare you.

She confused herself even more when she lay back against his side and whispered, "Okay."

* * *

The following Monday in Potions, Slughorn had the whole class line up to individually inspect the potion they were supposed to brew in class. Sirius went ahead of her, and he stood up there longer than anyone before him. When he straightened, his gaze immediately landed on Hermione. He looked like he wasn't surprised by whatever he'd inspected and slowly an utterly pleased smile spread over his face. He stood there frozen in front of her, and for the second time since she re-met him in 1975, a blush spread across his cheeks. When he finally moved, she took one look at the pearly sheen of the potion, and her eyes widened.

"Amortentia," she whispered.

"Very good, Miss Granger," Slughorn praised before waving her forward.

Hermione stepped up to the potion like it was some kind of execution block. What if she smelled Remus? Or what if she smelled Sirius? Or worse… what if it was neither of them?

Her teenaged mind betrayed her when it whispered to her.

_Did Sirius smell her?_

She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned forward to smell it before she could lose her nerve.

Bergamot.

The woods after a rainstorm.

Both of those she associated with Remus and Sirius.

She squeezed her eyes tighter and took a deeper breath, and that's when it washed over her. That last distinctive smell.

Leather and the faint smell of tobacco.

She pulled away like the scent burned her and pressed a hand over her mouth. Everyone in the class watched in interest as she slowly turned and looked directly at Sirius Black. Lily giggled from somewhere in the room, and Hermione shook herself out of her trance.

She couldn't look at Sirius for the rest of the class, and her cheeks felt permanently stained.

She knew that it only mimicked the smell of what you were most attracted to, but it felt _much _bigger than that.

* * *

**AN: Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**I am a big fan of this chapter:')**


	28. Precipice

**AN: I had a lot of trouble with writing this chapter. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen, but I had a lot of trouble writing it in a way that flowed how I liked. I think action just isn't my strong suit rlly. **

**I hope you like this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Precipice**

Sirius and Hermione were on some kind of precipice.

Neither of them were ready to tip the balance, so they remained in this odd place where they told everyone they were friends but showed affection like they were two people that weren't _exactly _friends.

Sirius had taken to coming to Hermione's room late at night to insist she follow through with her promise and teach him Occlumency. Their birthdays came and went and more Quidditch matches passed, and before they knew it, the last Hogsmeade weekend before holidays was upon them.

They were sitting cross legged on Hermione's bed in the middle of the night a few days before it, and Hermione had her wand pointed between his eyes when he said something that made her drop it completely.

"Go to Hogsmeade with me."

The wand landed in her comforter, and she stared at him wide eyed. "What?" She asked stupidly.

He was staring at her with that annoying smug look he got when he knew he had someone cornered. The image of the cliffside that was their relationship popped into her mind. It felt like Sirius had just pushed her over the edge with no warning. When she continued to stare at his chin with that blank look on her face Sirius started to back peddle.

"With James, Peter, and Remus, of course."

She shook herself and blew a curl out of her face. "Oh yes, of course."

Sirius frowned. She sounded an odd mixture of disappointed and relieved.

She picked her wand back up and asked again, "Are you ready?"

He shook his arms out and cleared his mind. She hadn't even used legilimency on him yet. They worked on it maybe once or twice a week, and so far all she had taught him was theory. He thought he would explode if he heard the world _compartmentalize _come out of her perfect, rosy lips one more time.

"Ready, kitten."

Hermione wasn't a very skilled legilimens. She didn't have the heart for it.

She took a deep breath and stilled her wand.

"Don't forget what I taught you, Sirius."

He smiled cheekily, "I would never."

"Legilimens."

Hermione entered his mind gently.

Sirius tried to block her at first. He imagined building a wall, and focused on locking away the memories that he _never _wanted her to see.

Images of Walburga Black crucioing him for the first time for talking to the muggle girl from across the street. Images of her screaming about how he was a stain on the house of Black.

He was so focused on these memories that they popped to the front of his mind without his permission. He could feel Hermione's presence in his mind as the crucio memory began to play like a film in the muggle cinema. He tried to push her out, but all of the theory that she had taught him disappeared.

Right as his mother screamed the curse, Hermione pulled out and sat there gasping with her hand over her heart.

Sirius jumped to his feet and backed away from her until his back hit the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and said unnecessarily, "You weren't supposed to see that."

Hermione didn't know what he needed in that moment. The image of the hatred in Walburga's eyes would be burned into her memory forever. Hatred for her own son.

She pulled her knees to her chest and said quietly, "Use Legilimency on me."

He opened his eyes and slowly took a step towards her. "Why?"

She stared into his eyes and said strongly, "Just do it."

Remus wouldn't have done it. Remus would've told her he didn't need to see, but Sirius _wasn't _Remus and before she knew it Sirius's wand was pointed at her and curiosity was burning in his eyes.

"Legilimens!"

As soon as she felt him invading her mind, she opened one of her carefully shut boxes and pulled a memory out.

Sirius watched as she ran through the woods. It was Hermione maybe two years ago. She was skinny, but not like when she came to them. She was sprinting and curses were flying all around her and then the next thing he knew she was in the arms of a snatcher.

"Well, if it isn't Undesirable number two!"

A man with long greasy hair and a snarled face stood in front of her. He was holding some kind of magical flyer with Hermione's face on it. Sirius wanted to study the flyer, but then his focus was turned back to her. Sirius watched as Hermione bucked and fought against the man holding her, but it was no use. She was _so _small, and he had her wand.

"I think we have to take this lot to the big guys."

"Lot?"

"There are two more boys."

Sirius watched with dread as the man stepped up to her and ran a dirty finger along her cheek.

"Who are your friends, sweetie?"

Hermione spat at him, and the man erupted in anger. He growled and held his wand out.

"You'll pay for that!"

Right as the curse left his mouth, Hermione pushed Sirius out.

They stood there staring at each other, breathing heavily.

"Tit for tat," Hermione whispered.

Sirius quirked a twisted sort of smile at her. "I guess we're even now?"

"Everyone's mind looks different, Sirius." He sighed.

"Back to theory, are we?"

Hermione ignored his exhausted comment and said, "We may have different minds, but we all have dark corners. Memories that can be exploited. Feelings… fears. Voldemort is the most skilled Legilimens alive. He breaks down walls like they're nothing. He exploits your deepest fears, finds your deepest secrets. He drives prisoners to madness by creating visions based on what he finds. It's a form of magical psychological warfare. " Sirius was staring at her with narrowed eyes.

"Did he do that to you, Hermione?"

She ignored him again and said, "But he _can't _do that to you if you learn Occlumency." She looked slightly frantic when she added, "You understand?"

Sirius suddenly looked more determined than he had since they had started.

He sat up straight and looked her directly in the eyes when he said, "Let's go again."

* * *

Hermione was wearing a pink jumper and denims as they made their way down to Hogsmeade. It was uncharacteristically warm for November, and she had somehow convinced Lily to tag along with her and the boys.

Lily actually seemed to be having a good time with them. Hermione laughed as Lily bodily shoved James away from them, but her laughter slowly faded when something caught her eye in an alley next to the parchment shop.

"Hey, I'll be right back," she said quietly to Lily. The witch nodded absentmindedly before going back to screaming at James. Hermione slipped away and walked towards the alley as calmly as she could manage. She could've sworn she saw…

"Regulus!" She exclaimed when a hand grabbed her by the elbow, and the younger Black brother was marching her purposely further down the alley until they rounded a corner so that they were hidden from prying eyes.

He was in long, black robes and was holding something out of her view.

"Regulus?" She asked nervously.

He looked frantic and his eyes were open wide.

"He's angry, Hermione."

"Okay?"

"He wants to send a message."

"Regulus, be a dear, and try not to speak cryptically."

He scowled at her and grabbed her with both hands to shake her shoulders. "He's coming, Hermione!" Her eyes darted down to his hands when she felt something pressing into her skin there. The terrible silvery mask gleamed back at her, and she gasped.

"I have to go! I have to get them out!" She pulled away from Regulus. He tried to latch onto her, but she slipped out from under his fingers.

"No, Hermione! That's not it!"

But she was already gone, disappearing around the corner.

"Shite!" He yelled as he kicked at the bricks of the wall. Before he could do anything, his wrist started burning.

Hermione came darting around the corner and her friends all gaped at her when there was an explosion of rubble across the street and the black smoke of death eaters started to pop in all around them.

In half a second, she was in front of them.

She yelled, "Protego Maxima!"

A dome like shield emanated from her wand and Hermione spun on her friends. The shield drew attention, and she could feel the curses hitting and creating ripples. Their expressions ranged from confused to terrified.

"Get everyone inside. Take the students through the tunnel in Honeydukes."

She ignored their panicked expressions and turned again.

"Expecto Patronum!"

Her dragon burst forth and she could vaguely hear her friends exclamations of surprise.

"Go to the Order. Attack in Hogsmeade!"

Once her dragon disappeared she turned back.

"Go! I'm about to drop the shield. Don't draw attention."

Right before she could turn again Remus yanked on her hand.

"Hermione! I'm coming with you."

She pulled away from him. "I don't have time for this, Remus! You're a prefect. Take care of the students." Before she could drop the shield Mad-eye apparated right on top of them and slammed his hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go, Pup! The rest are coming. Constant Vigilance!"

"Is that Mad-Eye Moody?" She turned and made eye-contact with Sirius. His eyes burned into her for a moment, and she could see in them that there was nothing she could do to stop him.

She dropped the shield and almost immediately Death Eaters were upon them.

She cast a smaller shield and started firing hexes as fast as she could think of them. She disarmed one of them and right after she caught the wand, she snapped it.

She saw Lily out of the corner of her eye ushering students out from an alley and to where James was standing at the entrance to Honeydukes.

She watched in horror as a cackling Bellatrix appeared out of nowhere right in front of Lily. Hermione didn't waste any time. She dropped the snapped wand and sprinted towards them. She could hear screams and see curses hurtling through the air. She sent an incarcerous at Bellatrix, but it was as if the witch could sense her. Her hex was blocked like it was simple child's play. Hermione tried not to pay attention to Lily's panicked expression behind Bellatrix and instead focused on the eldest Black sister. The mad witches curls bounced as she tilted her head to the side to study Hermione with a hungry look.

"What's this? Little girly wants to play?" Her voice grated and bile worked its way up her throat, but Hermione swallowed it down along with all of her memories of their past interactions. Hermione would _play_.

"Confringo!"

Bellatrix blocked it and laughed. "Oh! Girly has fire! I'm going to have fun with you!" Hermione saw Lily hold up her wand to start fighting, but if Lily fought, than Bellatrix's attention would turn towards all the students.

"Go!" Hermione yelled as she non-verbally blocked another curse.

Lily looked stunned, and Bellatrix cackled like she'd been talking to her.

Bellatrix shuffled and stood in front of the glass window of the shop.

Hermione's eyes darted towards it.

"Finistra!" The glass shattered and rained over Bellatrix who gave an enraged yell.

She'd made her angry, and an angry Bellatrix meant that the duel would become even more unfair. The witch played by a rule book only known to her.

The fight became more violent, and Hermione cried out when she dove to avoid a slicing hex and her left arm got sliced from the back of her elbow up to her shoulder. She was about to jump up when someone stepped over her body and blocked her view of Bellatrix.

"Hello, Cousin." Hermione almost cried out again at Sirius's voice.

She wanted to protest, but in her panic all she could manage was tangling her fingers into the fabric of his trouser leg.

He ignored her and watched as his cousin cackled in front of him. Bellatrix froze with her wand in the air, and she gave Sirius a delusioned smile.

"You're lucky, blood traitor. Master's calling!"

Then she disappeared.

Sirius was frozen and Hermione stood shakily. When she was finally standing, she saw Dolohov come out of an alley. She gasped and his mad eyes turned on her. She could see the recognition flicker in his eyes. As he twitched towards her and Sirius, Hermione did the first thing that she could think of and silenced him.

Dolohov raised his wand, and Hermione stepped in front of Sirius right as a purple curse came hurtling towards them.

Sirius's hands automatically reached out and held Hermione upright as her torso exploded in pain. It felt as though it was splitting in half, and she watched as Dolohov's smug face disaperated with his mask in hand.

Hermione fell bodily into Sirius.

"Kitten?" Hermione hated how scared he sounded.

She started gasping for breath.

"Sirius?"

"Hold on, Hermione! Hold on, I'm going to… I'm going to take you…" She had never heard his voice laced with as much terror as this.

With the worst timing imaginable, Remus, James, and Lily appeared out of the door to Honeydukes.

They all made it out right in time to see her collapse into Sirius's chest.

Blood was spreading across her pretty pink jumper.

"Hermione!"

James was the first to react, and he sprinted towards Sirius who was slowly lowering a gasping Hermione to the ground.

Sirius couldn't breathe. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the blood. _So much blood. _Remus felt like the metallic scent was trapped in his nose.

James collapsed on his knees right beside her.

"We have to get her to the hospital wing!"

Sirius watches as her eyes clouded over. He hated himself for thinking immediately that she wouldn't make it that far.

Lily started to sob.

Hermione let out a pained cry in between her gasps. It felt like her insides were on fire, and she was _burning_.

She tangled her sticky fingers in James's shirt. He tried to lift her, but she shook her head.

"Sorry… I'm… sorry…"

Her hand twitched on his shirt. "Someone go get, Pomfrey!" He yelled.

He refused to let go of her even as Pomfrey appeared in Hogsmeade.

"I need you to let go of her, Mister Potter," the medi-witch said calmly.

"No!" James yelled.

It wasn't until Lily wrapped a hand around his elbow that he finally listened, and allowed her to pull him away.

Hermione was in so much pain, but all she could think was that she'd been _so _wrong. She'd thought she'd been ready to die for the cause. That it would be an honorable death, dying for her beliefs. But there was nothing honorable about this.

The truth was, Hermione didn't _want_ to die. She wasn't ready. Remus and her weren't back to normal. She hadn't seen Lily finally let James take her on a date. She hadn't had that conversation with Sirius.

"I'm…"

"Hush child," Pomfrey tried to shush her, but she kept on like she was in some kind of trance.

"Not ready…"

Why had she only silenced him? Why hadn't she been better? More effective?

Pomfrey froze for half a second before continuing in whatever she was doing.

"You will _not _be dying today, Miss Granger."

Sirius backed away in a daze. He was covered in her blood, and he felt so _numb_. He watched as Pomfrey began to mutter healing spells and coax various potions down her throat. James latched onto his elbow, and Lily sobbed into James's shoulder. Remus was dry-heaving next to him.

Sirius wanted to scream at them.

_She's not going to die!_

Neither of them reacted when a shadow fell over them, and the infamous Mad-Eye Moody looked down at Hermione over their shoulders.

"Pup's not dead yet. She's a fighter that one. Can't kill her that easy." He sounded so cavalier about it that anger built up in Sirius.

"How do you know her?" Sirius's voice was choppy and harsh, and he had a threatening tone to his voice.

Moody slapped him on the back and scowled down at him.

"I know everyone, Sirius Black."

The next half hour passed in a blur. Hermione was levitated back to the castle and when Dorea and Charlus showed up, panicked and practically running down the corridor, all four teens were lined up on the ground outside of the Hospital Wing.

James and Sirius had Hermione's blood on their hands and clothes, and even smeared across James's face from where he'd pushed on his glasses.

Dorea started crying at the sight, and James didn't know if he was delivering bad news or relief when he said, "It's not ours."

Charlus was the one that went into the room.

James watched as his proper and societal mother slid to the ground next to them.

Nearly half an hour later, Charlus reappeared to tell them that she was stable, but that even the St. Mungo's healers that had flooed in couldn't identify the curse Dolohov had used on Hermione.

Sirius's face dropped to his hands, and he whispered, "It was meant for me."

"What?" Dorea gasped.

He jumped to his feet and kicked at the wall. "It was meant for me! She silenced him and jumped in front of me. It was meant for me!"

Sirius felt like ripping his hair out, and Dorea and Charlus looked like they were going to pass out.

What kind of nightmarish world was it where you were simultaneously thankful and devastated that one of the children you saw as your own, stood one step inside death's door, so the other could live? All because a grown wizard had tried to murder them in a dark and excrutiating way.

Charlus stepped up and latched onto Sirius's shoulders.

"You weren't holding the wand. And there was nothing you could've done to stop Hermione."

Sirius knew this in theory, but knowing it and accepting it were two vastly different things.

Sirius sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head jerkily.

Charlus stepped back and said, "There's something else."

James sighed. "What else could there possibly be?"

Charlus wasted no time in saying, "Dumbledore's dead."

"What?" Sirius asked in shock.

"The Hogsmeade attack was used as a diversion."

"A diversion that almost killed Hermione!" James screamed.

"Three other students died at Hogsmeade," Charlus said quietly. A new kind of silence took over the group. No one spoke up and asked who, and it all seemed like too much to take in. Charlus and Dorea forced all of them to walk towards Gryffindor tower with promises that they'd see Hermione as soon as she woke up.

* * *

When Hermione gasped awake it was the middle of the night. The Hospital Wing was silent, save drips coming from an open tap somewhere.

Hermione sucked in a breath and let out a noise that sounded close to a whimper.

That same pain from before was there, though slightly dulled, and her head was pounding. She went to sit up, but a gentle hand landed on her shoulder to hold her down.

She tried to focus her eyes, but everything was blurry.

"Who's there?" Her voice was raspy.

Someone mumbled something under their breath and then she heard a quiet, "Lumos," and Regulus Black's face was next to her bathed in the soft glow.

She squeezed her eyes against the light, and he immediately put it out again. Her fingers stretched on the bed next to her, and his hand found hers.

She twisted it around until she was holding it and then asked quietly, "Are we friends yet, Regulus?"

He sucked in a breath and said, "I don't have friends."

She let out a laugh, but it ended up hurting and turning into a soft cry. Her skin across her torso felt tight like if she moved too much it would rip open.

"She had to stitch you up the muggle way. The wound wasn't healing."

Hermione wanted to ask how he knew that, but she was too scared to move.

"Are you in pain? I will go get Pomfrey." Despite his words, he didn't move an inch. To anyone who didn't know him, he would sound clinical, almost uncaring, but Hermione liked to think she knew him. She liked to think that his voice was laced with concern. When she opened her eyes this time, she could just see the outline of his facial features.

"Does Pomfrey know you're here?"

She watched as his lips thinned.

"Then I'm not in pain," she said quietly. He didn't respond, but he did squeeze her hand again. After a few moments of silence she asked, "Is everyone else okay?"

"Dumbledore's dead."

She felt numb. Words got caught in her throat. Their were flashes in her mind. Regulus pulling her into an alley.

_He's angry, Hermione._

"It was a diversion."

Regulus holding onto her shoulders.

Her pulling away before he could finish.

_No, Hermione! That's not it!_

"What do you mean?"

"First wave of Death Eaters was sent in to hit Hogsmeade. Second wave to kill Dumbledore."

"I told all of the Order to go to Hogsmeade," she said weakly.

"Dumbledore was unprotected at the castle."

Hermione shook and said, "You were trying to tell me."

He used his free hand to push down on her shoulder again. "Stop moving!" She shook against him again, "Merlin, you're so stubborn."

She opened her mouth to speak, but then there was light thud outside her curtains and someone cursed.

Regulus gave her a panicked look and whispered, "Got to go."

Before she could protest his hand ripped out of hers, and he disappeared.

Right as he did the privacy curtain opened and shut, but no one was there.

"Hullo?" She asked nervously.

There was an outtake of breath and Sirius's head appeared.

"Sirius?"

Her eyes widened, and she realized he still had the invisibility cloak wrapped around his shoulders.

"What are you doing up, kitten?"

She hesitated before whispering, "Couldn't sleep."

Hermione rolled onto her side, surprised that it didn't hurt, and Sirius didn't hesitate before dropping the cloak onto the chair next to her and climbing into bed next to her. He wrapped her gently in his arms like she was some fragile thing and pulled her so that her back was to his chest.

"You scared me, Hermione," Sirius whispered. She could feel his breath fanning out against her skin, and it left goosebumps trailing across the back of her neck.

"Can you stay?" She hated how weak and shaky her voice sounded.

He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "I won't leave you."

She remembered Remus making similar promises. He'd told her he wouldn't leave, and that he didn't care that she was fighting and then he'd broken up with her.

One of Hermione's hands followed Sirius's arm from where it lay against her ribs down to where his hand rested on the sheet in front of her. Her fingers shook as they tangled with his.

"You promise?"

His thumb pressed lightly against her knuckles and began to draw soft circles on the skin there. He could feel the gravity of her words. She needed to know he would be there. She needed to know he wouldn't leave.

"I promise, Hermione."

* * *

**AN: Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews. Especially the reviews;)**


	29. I'll Wait

**AN: So I realized when I was trying to figure out when Fred and George were born that I made a mistake and made Percy a year older than he was supposed to be. A small error, but it really bothers me now. I just wanted to point it out in case a hardcore fan calls me out on it lol. I also know that Walkmans won't be invented for a couple more years also but I had to.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: I'll Wait**

Sirius woke up to multiple voices surrounding his bed. That was odd.

He groaned and pulled Hermione closer to him.

Hermione.

Closer.

To him.

His eyes flew open, and he blinked guiltily up at everyone. There were seven people squeezed into the small space around her bed.

"Good morning," he tried with a timid but cheeky smile. Someone made a noise at the back of their throat that might be interpreted as disapproval.

By some miracle, Hermione was still breathing deeply in his arms. Sirius lifted his head up and said gently, "Rise and shine, Hermione."

She squeezed his hand and slowly but surely, her big brown eyes blinked open owlishly. "Sirius?" She asked groggily. She shut her eyes when the bright light from the windows caused a flash of pain to go right to her head.

"Still here, kitten," he whispered.

She gave a small smile and said, "You didn't leave."

"I won't. I promised." He looked back up at the people around them and added, "But I have to right now because we have company."

Her cheeks suddenly turned _very _red, and she asked nervously, "Will someone shut the curtains, so I can open my eyes?"

Almost immediately the curtains were charmed shut, and Hermione opened her eyes timidly. They widened when she took stock of everyone staring at her and Sirius.

Lily. Remus. Peter. James. Dorea. Charlus. McGonagall.

Sirius was very careful not to jostle her as he pulled his arms out from under her to get up. He kissed her temple lightly before sitting up on the edge of the bed.

Hermione was saved the lecture when Pomfrey came over and gasped.

"Out! Everyone out! Honestly, the girl needs rest. She hasn't healed."

Hermione rolled onto her back. The pain was just as bad as it had been the night before, so when Pomfrey started holding potions to her lips, she gladly took them.

"I imagine you saved a lot of students yesterday, Miss Granger."

Hermione closed her eyes and let the pain in her chest slowly distinguish to light tingles. She didn't respond to Pomfrey. She wanted to say that she didn't do enough. That she hadn't saved Dumbledore. That there were still three families that were going to be told their child died at school. She should've done more.

Pomfrey laid a hand on her shoulder and said with no room for argument. "You did everything you could. You did _more _than you should've."

Hermione thought that maybe Madame Pomfrey was referencing the new battle scar Hermione was sure to have from her waist to her left collarbone.

"That's the one thing I don't regret."

It was true. Maybe she wished she had done more than silence Dolohov, but jumping in front of that curse saved Sirius. She couldn't regret that.

Pomfrey simply gave her a sad smile and patted her elbow.

"Can I see everyone now?"

"All of them?" Pomfrey asked disapprovingly.

"Yes, please."

Hermione was more numb now, so when everyone came in, she allowed Dorea and Lily to help sit her up and fluff her pillows. Normally the hovering would have bothered her, but today she found she didn't mind too much.

"How are you feeling, dear?"

Hermione didn't waste a second in saying she was fine and then asking, "Who are the three students?"

Everyone looked distinctly uncomfortable, but Professor McGonagall stepped forward and said sadly, "Celia Stark, Ruth Smith, and Finn Abram."

Hermione shut her eyes. She hated how relieved she was that she didn't know them.

"Who's going to be Headmaster?"

McGonagall nodded grimly, "That would be me, Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded. She expected that.

"Have they figured out what curse Dolohov used?"

Hermione suspected no. If they had, then they wouldn't have had to stitch her up like this. Dorea confirmed when she said, "No."

Hermione's lips thinned. A long recovery then. She looked up and Sirius was staring at the wall with a guilty and angry expression.

"I don't regret it," she said strongly. Her voice was raspy and flat.

His head swung up and stared at her and everyone else in the room's eyes darted between the two. Sirius's eyes watered, and he took Lily's place beside her. "You shouldn't have jumped in front of me like that, Hermione."

She shook her head and her short curls sprung out around her. "I _don't _regret it."

"You could've died! I could've taken it!"

Hermione raised a questioning brow, "Oh and I couldn't have?"

Sirius glared and said, "You know that's not what I meant."

She crossed her arms and masked her flinch when her arms landed on her torso. He must've seen it in her eyes though because his expression softened. "I would do it again." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but she turned her look on everyone else in the room. "I would do it again for any of you."

"How comforting," James groaned.

His face dropped into a sad expression, and he pushed his way over to her.

Before she could protest he was climbing into bed and pulling her face to his chest. He took in a shaky breath which turned into a sob and everyone save Sirius, Remus, and Lily, excused themselves and shut the privacy curtain.

"I thought you were _dying, _Hermione"

She wrapped her arms around him and dropped her forehead to his shoulder. "I'm fine now, James."

"It's like you want to die," he choked out and pressed his chin into the top of her head.

Her fingers tightened on his shirt. She _would_ die for the people in this room, but she didn't want to. "I don't." She said it like a revelation. "I don't want to die."

James pulled back and shoved his foggy glasses up his nose. "Good because you have to be the best man at me and Lily's wedding."

Hermione giggled.

Sirius yelled, "Oi! I'm best man!"

At the same time Lily snorted and said, "Oh, _please._ She'll be _my_ maid of honor."

Everyone turned and looked at Lily with a mixture of shock and amusement.

"What?" She asked. Then what she said must have dawned on her, and she blushed and pointed at James, "But it's not happening, Potter!"

Sirius guffawed, and James wiped his cheeks and gave her a smile that Hermione was sure would be pictured under the textbook definition of puppy-love.

Remus smirked at Lily and said, "So… getting married to James now are we?"

Lily's hands went to her cheeks, and she screeched, "Shut up!" Before flying out of the room.

Hermione beamed at James and said happily, "I'd say you actually stand a chance, James!"

* * *

Hermione crashed a bit after that and fell asleep. The four of them took turns sitting in her room with her while Dorea and Charlus flooed home after being promised that Hermione was stable and just needed rest and a _very _strict potion regimine.

That night, after they'd all been dismissed to Gryffindor tower, and Pomfrey had gone to sleep, Hermione was woken by the thin Hospital Wing blanket being pulled up and someone sliding in behind her.

She panicked for a moment before she heard Sirius's voice in her ear, "I think we have James's blessing. I didn't even have to nick the cloak this time, it was waiting for me on my bed."

Hermione smiled at the idea and felt an eruption of butterflies in her stomach.

"Blessing for _what_?"

She hadn't meant to say that out loud, but once it was out she gathered her courage and slowly rolled over to face him. Their noses were inches from each other, and Sirius was looking at her with unadulterated affection. He reached forward and gently pulled on one of her curls.

"What do you want it to be a blessing for, kitten?"

She didn't know. She didn't want him to figure out where she was from and take it all back. She squeezed her eyes shut, and he leaned forward and kissed her right at the corner of her mouth.

"I'll wait."

She wanted to tell him. "I'll answer when you learn Occlumency."

He tugged her until her cheek was against his chest, and she melted into him. "We got work to do as soon as your healthy then."

She smiled against his skin.

* * *

One week later, Hermione had downed an invigoration drought and pain potions to put on a black dress and go to the lawn for a memorial for Dumbledore and the three students.

The air was heavy and grim, and the grounds were covered in snow.

It was the most magical beings Hermione had ever seen in one place. She spent the whole memorial hanging on tightly to Sirius, and trying to avoid any familiar faces. She couldn't look at the faces of the Order members, and she couldn't face the devastated faces of the three students' families. As soon as the service was over Hermione asked Sirius to take her back to the Hospital Wing where Pomfrey had to transfigure her dress into the simple clothes she gave to patients because Hermione was too exhausted to stand for much longer.

Work was brought to her for the remainder of the semester and on the morning before the train to take them home, Hermione was standing with her privacy curtain closed in the Hospital Wing in a pair of loose trousers and bra with a transfigured mirror.

The new scar was rather gruesome. It was nearly fourteen inches running jaggedly across her torso. She found it didn't even bother her too much. She was looking at it and running her fingertips down the puckered skin when her curtain was gently pulled open and a nervous Remus stood there.

His eyes landed on the scar before he looked towards the ceiling to avert his eyes. She thought that action was rather silly considering he'd already seen every bit of her.

"Lily packed your trunk, and everyone is waiting down by the Great Hall," he said carefully.

Hermione removed her hand from her skin and winced when she picked up her shirt. The slicing hex down her arm made it difficult to stretch her arms above her head.

Remus, still in tune to her, quickly came over and pulled her shirt on for. His fingers paused on the jumper she'd borrowed from him at the Quidditch match. A small smile appeared on his face.

"You can take that back," she whispered.

He turned his smile towards her and shook his head. "It looks better on you, love."

He picked it up and pulled it over her head before pulling her curls out from where they got trapped under the fabric. She studied him for a moment as he stood in front of her.

"Are you mad at me, Remus?"

His eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "Of course not."

Hermione fidgeted with the sleeves of the jumper. "Not about, Sirius?"

He reached up and tucked a curl behind her ear. "Not about _anything_, Hermione."

She felt so relieved that she reached out and crushed him in a hug. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, "A famous bone-crushing hug?" He teased.

She smiled and pulled back to wag a finger in front of his face, "You can't escape me, Remus Lupin."

He grinned, "Merlin, I hope not."

* * *

Christmas came quickly, and after she'd finished opening presents with her family she flooed over to the Burrow with gifts for the three Weasley boys.

Hermione, Sirius, and James stepped through, and she was almost immediately tackled by two growing boys. The boxes flew out of her arms, and she landed hard on the ground with Bill and Charlie on top of her. There was a twinge of pain in her abdomen, but she ignored it in favor of bursting out laughing.

"Auntie Minnie!" Charlie screamed.

She laughed even harder when Bill looked up at James and said, "Charlie, James is here too!" Charlie jumped off of Hermione and started climbing up James like he was a tree.

When both boys were off of her, Sirius reached down and pulled her to her feet. "Auntie Minnie?" He asked with humor in his voice.

She shrugged and gave him a timid grin.

"Oh dear! Boys, get off of James!"

Molly came bustling in then with a little Percy toddling after her. Hermione sat down on the ground as the little boy waddled over to her and threw his arms around her neck before collapsing in her lap.

"Min!" He yelled.

Hermione looked up at Molly and grinned. "He's talking now!"

Molly Weasley gave a tired smile and said, "Yes, little Perce is doing his best."

Hermione kissed his forehead and giggled, "I bet he is!" She leaned in and jokingly whispered, "I have a present for you, Percy."

The little boy's eyes lit up at the word present. Hermione looked over her shoulder and started asking Sirius to hand her the small box with Percy's name on it, but he was already holding it out to her with a grin.

She whispered a thanks and let go of Percy to place the small box in front of him. He settled into her lap with his back to her, and she lifted the lid for him. Inside was a small book of stories that had the illustrations pop off the pages and act out the story as you read it out loud.

Even though Percy definitely couldn't read yet his chubby fingers reached down and touched the book. He started babbling some nonsense and clapping his hands together.

Arthur came in then with a pot of tea and set it on the small table in the middle of the couch.

Molly gave Hermione an embarrassed smile and said, "You didn't have to get them presents, Hermione."

Hermione studied her flushed cheeks and wringing hands and said, "I love gift-giving. It's the least I could for you, Molly. _Really_."

"Molly-wobbles, let Hermione spoil the kids all she wants. Would you three like some tea? I'm afraid it's about to turn into a mad-house here. Fabian and Gideon are on their way."

Hermione nodded her affirmative and moved on to Charlie's and Bill's presents.

For Charlie she got him a dragon plush that flew around and blew out puffs of fire that felt like soft wind, so it was totally safe. She grinned when he immediately declared its name to be Minnie.

For Bill, she got him a book on famous curse breakers. Little seven year old Bill grinned and said, "Wicked."

After all of the kids disappeared to play with their new presents, Hermione, Sirius, and James took seats around the living area. Hermione gave her last two boxes to Arthur and Molly who both looked extremely surprised to be receiving anything at all.

Arthur opened his box first and laughed joyously at it even though he had no clue what it was. He pulled a muggle walkman out of the box with a large pair of headphones.

"What does it do?" He asked Hermione excitedly.

"It's a portable muggle music player." Hermione stood and helped him put on the headphones before pressing play. Everyone watched as Arthur grinned and started bopping his head along.

"Oh this is good!" He yelled.

She grinned and said, "The Beatles."

Once Molly had forced the headphones off of Arthur, she sat down to open her own present.

Hermione had done her best to knit Molly her own sweater since that was her go-to gift, but she'd never knitted one for herself. The hem was slightly crooked and one side of the large violet M was shorter than the other.

"I did my best," Hermione said sheepishly.

She immediately panicked when the woman burst into tears and stood to give Hermione a hug tight enough to rival her own.

The twins chose that moment to pop in through the front door. She grinned when Fabian threw his arms out and yelled, "You broke, Molly!"

The three of them spent a couple hours there laughing and eating so much food that Hermione thought she might burst. It was wonderful and happy and exactly what Hermione needed.

When they went back to Potter Manor Sirius pulled her outside to go for a walk. He'd helped her into her jacket and boots, and once they were tromping through the snow, he grabbed her hand and refused to let go.

They made it to the line of the trees just outside the wards, and Sirius paused and spun her around.

"I have another present for you," he said with his smug smirk in place.

Hermione tucked a curl behind her ear and gave him a coy smile, "Oh yeah?"

He took a step back so that there was about a foot between them, and held his arms out challengingly. "Use legilimency on me."

Her smile dropped, and she gave him a confused look. "We haven't been practicing, Sirius."

He smiled and said, "Just do it, kitten."

Hermione twisted her lips and said, "Alright."

Then wandlessly and nonverbally, she entered his mind.

Almost immediately it was like there was a large wall blocking her. She poked and prodded and tried to break it down for a couple minutes before she pulled out and stared up at him with awe-filled eyes.

"How on earth did you go from where you were a month ago to _that _without practicing?"

Sirius smirked and looked her up and down, "I'll have you know, your _mum_ is an excellent teacher. Super tough. Super high learning curve."

Hermione grinned, but then she remembered her promises. He could join the Order, she would tell him where she's from, and she would answer the question of what she wanted James's blessing to be for. Her smile slowly turned into a bit of nauseous look.

Sirius noticed this and stepped forward to put his hands on her cheeks.

"What is it?"

She looked up at him and whispered, "I'm about to tell you a lot of things, and you can't interrupt me or tell anyone."

His thumbs ran up and down her cheekbones and he gave her his cheekiest grin, "Oh, _I'm _excited."

She pulled away and slapped his arm, "Be serious for a moment, will you!"

Sirius didn't even take the opportunity to make his normal Sirius-Serious joke when he saw the look on her face. She looked scared. More scared than he'd seen her look in a long time.

"Hermione, whatever it is, I won't leave you. I promised. I'm a man of my word."

Hermione was nodding and mumbling to herself for a couple moments before she turned to him with a determined expression. Before he could say anything she latched onto his elbow, and he felt the familiar pull of side-apparition.

As soon as he landed on his feet he stumbled and said, "Bloody hell, Hermione! Little warning next time would be nice!"

But Hermione wasn't listening to him. She was walking purposely down what appeared to be a middle class muggle street, and Sirius jogged to catch up with her.

"Not that I don't love a little mystery, but mind telling me where you've whisked us off to?"

She froze in her quick stride, and Sirius cursed as he slid to stop from running her over. She was standing in front of a completely ordinary brick home. There was a large wreath on the door and through the large glass panes, Sirius could see a brightly decorated tree.

She slowly lifted her hand and pointed. She sounded nearly disengaged when she said quietly, "I grew up here."

Sirius looked at her in surprise before turning back to the house with a new outlook. It was modest, but comfortable.

Just then the door popped open and a young couple came bustling out. Hermione gasped and tangled her fingers with his to start pulling him back down the street, but not before he got a good look at them. The woman had Hermione's hair. He would recognize it anywhere, and even from the street he could see that the grinning man had her smile. That couldn't be right though. Hermione's parents were supposed to be gone, and this couple looked to be in their mid-twenties.

Hermione didn't speak to him as she pulled him down the street and to what looked to be a small park. He tugged her to a stop and nearly growled when he said, "Tell me what's going on because that couple looked an awful lot like that picture you keep by your nightstand, but that _can't _be possible because you said they were _dead_."

Hermione pulled her hand from his and whispered, "I never said that."

She tried to stay calm as Sirius started to look more and more like he was about to fly off the handle and start pummeling something.

"I said they were gone, not dead."

Sirius yelled, "They don't look gone to me!"

Hermione held her hands out like she was approaching a wild animal and said, "I _never _lied to you, Sirius." She pointed in the direction they'd come from. "They aren't my parents. Not really."

He didn't know what to say. None of what she was saying was making sense. He ran a hand through his hair, and looked up at the sky for a moment, "Start talking, Hermione."

She sighed and walked over to the stone park bench. She collapsed on it. "I'm not from here." She ran a hand down her face and said, "I mean I _am, _but not this universe."

"What are you saying?"

She gave him a sharp look and said, "This is the part where you sit down and don't interrupt."

He wanted to yell at her, but he wanted answers more.

"In 1994, I was in the Malfoy Manor dungeons when Severus Snape opened my cell door. He wrapped some kind of time turner around my neck, and he told me that everyone was dead. He told me that I was the last hope, and he had to fulfill Dumbledore's orders. Next thing I know, I am in the middle of an Order of the Pheonix meeting in 1975. They destroyed my timeline by sending me here. Those people you saw, they're different versions of my parents. They're never going to have me now." Hermione paused and gave him a devastated look, "The war doesn't end anytime soon, Sirius. Not without me. Not without _my _information."

The word Order triggered a memory of the attack in Hogsmeade. Hermione summoning a corporeal patronus and telling it to go to the Order.

Hermione was crying when she looked back up at him again. "I haven't been lying to you. I haven't lied about anything I've told you."

"Can I talk now?" He asked flatly.

She nodded, "Of course."

He carefully took a seat beside her. He had so many questions, and he wasn't quite sure how he was feeling about any of this.

"I don't know how to process this. I don't know how to believe you," he said quietly.

Hermione felt pain blossom in her chest at that. How could he not believe her?

Hermione flinched but then shifted until she was facing him.

"Use legilimency," she whispered.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and turned to face her. She didn't know what memory she planned on showing him until the wand was pointed at her and he was saying the incantation. She dropped her walls for him and the first thing he saw was Grimmauld Place. He was in the library.

There was a soft fire crackling, but that was the only light in the room. He walking into the memory and in the soft glow he first saw a small Hermione sitting primly on the sofa. She had a book resting on her lap, and she looked like she was maybe thirteen or fourteen. She was reading out loud under her breath, and Sirius couldn't take his eyes off of her. There was no way she could have fabricated this. Everything was the same. The shelves, the furniture, the books.

His eyes darted around the room and that's when they landed on a man sitting in an armchair next to the fire. The man lifted his face and Sirius sucked in a breath. _Moony._

An older and more scarred Moony, but definitely him.

"You should go to bed, Hermione. It's late, and Harry arrives tomorrow."

The little Hermione didn't even lift her head as she said, "Just one more chapter, Professor Lupin." Sirius gaped at how she addressed him.

The werewolf smiled fondly and turned back to his own book, "Well, alright then."

Sirius was smiling when Hermione pushed another memory to the front.

They were in the shrieking shack this time. Hermione was the same age she'd been in the last memory, and she was standing in the corner with two boys. Sirius didn't get a good look at the boys before there was a scuffle and he saw himself in Animagus form.

The grim then transformed, and Sirius got confused. This _couldn't _be him. This man was ghastly. He looked like a skeleton, and his hair was to his elbows. He looked like he hadn't showered in years, let alone had anything to eat.

He pulled out of the memory and stared at Hermione.

"Who was that man?" He asked shakily.

She reached over and placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "That was _you_, Sirius."

He shook his head. "No. You're wrong. That couldn't be me."

Hermione began to sob, and he finally believed her.

"What happened to me?" He choked on the words. Hermione threw her arms around him, and he tangled his fists into her jacket to stop their trembling.

"You went to Azkaban," she whispered. "You were innocent though, and it's not going to happen again. You were wrongly accused, Sirius."

He shook his head and pulled back.

"_More_. Show me more." She wiped her eyes and sat back again.

"Legilimens!"

This time it was Sirius and Remus sitting together in Grimmauld's small breakfast nook. Sirius looked distinctly better, and the two were both nursing glasses of firewhiskey when Sirius heard a recognizable indignant yell, "Ronald Bilius Weasley!" She was standing just outside the doorway to the kitchen. She looked slightly older this time.

Remus sighed and said, "What's he done now, Hermione?"

Hermione plopped down in the seat next to Sirius. "He ate all the Chocolate Frogs I got for Harry." She grew an adorable pout.

Just then a red head came running in with a smudge of chocolate on his mouth. Sirius watched the older version of him give this Ronald fellow an appraising look before saying, "You stealing from my Godson then, boy?"

Sirius pulled out again and stared at Hermione with a hopeful expression.

"I have a godson?" He felt tears in his eyes, and Hermione seemed to contemplate something before smiling at him.

"His name was Harry."

"You're Harry?" He asked in shock.

She nodded. "Do you want to see him?"

Instead of answering, he jumped back into her memories.

They were in some kind of tent. There was quiet music playing from a muggle wireless. Hermione's soft cries were coming from around the corner, so Sirius stepped around and saw her sitting on the edge of a cot.

Sirius unknowingly reached for her, but he stopped when someone stepped through the entrance to the tent and sighed.

He couldn't see their face, but he watched with rapt attention as he stepped forward and held his hand out to Hermione.

"What is it, Harry?" She asked shakily.

"Dance with me?"

Sirius watched Hermione's face as the corners of her lips twitched up, and she gently took his hand. Pretty soon they were twirling around the room, and Hermione's tinkling laugh was floating through the air. It wasn't until they slowed down, and Harry pulled her close that Sirius saw his face.

He couldn't believe it.

"Who knew you could dance, Harry James Potter!" Hermione giggled out.

Harry grinned and said, "Parvati."

This time Hermione pushed him out, and Sirius was left gasping like the very first time she had ever used Legilimency on him.

"Harry was…"

"James's son," Hermione finished for him. Sirius face split into a huge grin, and he laughed merrily. "_My _godson!"

Hermione laughed with him, but he trailed off. He was suddenly having revelation after revelation as his own memories with Hermione assaulted him.

"He _dies._"

Hermione took his face in her hands roughly and said with determination, "Use it again."

Sirius didn't use his wand or words this time as he jumped in. His intent was there.

He was in a cell, and it was _filthy._

He jumped when the door creaked open. He glared when he immediately recognized Severus Snape. Sirius watched as he pulled some kind of device from his robes. This must be the time-turner she was talking about. But if Snape was here with the device that meant…

Sirius turned and stared at the small form curled into a ball on the ground. _Hermione._ He couldn't take his eyes off of her as Snape wrapped the chain around her matted hair to rest on her neck. He pulled something that looked like a letter out and was reaching for Hermione when she sprang up and wrapped her hands around the older man.

She looked absolutely _mad, _but the first thing that ran through Sirius's mind was that's _my _witch.

"Don't be stupid, girl!" Snape hissed at her.

Sirius watched with thinly veiled anger directed towards Snape as she studied him carefully.

"I'm here on orders from Dumbledore," said Snape.

"But he's…"

"Yes I'm aware!" He cut her off. "Now release me!"

She gave him one last look before sagging back down against the wall. He gave her a scathing look before holding out the thin yellowing envelope.

She snatched it and blinked a few times before reading the back.

"The Order… the boy… they're all dead. You are the last hope for the Wizarding World."

Before she could say anything, he pointed his wand at her and stunned her.

Another memory flashed before his eyes.

Hermione standing on her knees on a long table. This was the first time Sirius got a _really _good look at her in the state she was in. His anger towards Snape was _nothing _compared to how he felt seeing this. She had shackles and chains, and she looked like she'd been through absolute hell.

And on the other end of her wand was Dumbledore. This must be the Order meeting then.

"What have you done to me!" She screeched.

There was a moment of silence and then she actually growled. She was like a wild animal.

"He said your orders! Yours!"

He watched, completely enraptured, as she looked down at the time-turner before looking around her. Sirius vaguely noticed Dorea and Charlus, but his eyes were otherwise glued to Hermione.

He flinched when the chains rattled from her whipping back to Dumbledore.

She was completely calm when she said, "Send me back."

Sirius felt physically thrown. How could she want to go back to that place? Then the soft scene with Harry popped in his mind. The scene in the library with Remus. Her screeching at Ron. Everyone she loved was back in that time.

"I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that that has been made wholly impossible."

She closed her eyes for a few moments and when she reopened them, she was crying.

"You want me to kill him."

Sirius's mind was whirring as everyone around the room started yelling. He wasn't even listening as he tried to imagine who she was talking about, but then the answer hit him like a slap to the face. Kill him. Kill _Voldemort._

"I'll do it."

Coming out of that memory was like jumping into a lake in the middle of January.

"That's why," he whispered. "You're going to save him. _Harry… _you're going to save him."

She gave him an imploring look, "I'm going to save all of them, Sirius."

Sirius stood and started pacing in front of her. When he turned back to her he asked something that made her actually laugh out loud.

"So you and James's son, huh?"

When she finally stopped laughing, she shook her head vehemently. "No. Absolutely not. He was my best friend. That's gross."

Sirius quirked a smile at her. It dropped when he fell to his knees in front of her in the snow. He latched onto her hands and whispered, "You're here for good, right?"

"Yes. That device destroyed the timeline."

He sighed in relief and pressed multiple kisses along her knuckles.

"This doesn't change anything," he said against her skin there.

"It doesn't?" She asked nervously.

He smiled at her. They were at even heights from this position. "It doesn't," he reassured. Then he leaned forward, "What do you want James's blessing to be for, kitten?"

Hermione bit her lip and looked deep into his eyes. "What do _you _want it to be for?"

Instead of answering, he leaned forward and kissed her.

One of her hands went to his shoulder and the other tangled in his hair.

Sirius couldn't believe it. Somehow this kiss was even better than their kiss a year ago under the mistletoe. He nipped at her bottom lip before soothing it was his tongue and pulling away from her gently.

Her cheeks were bright red from both the cold and Sirius when she smiled and whispered, "I hoped you'd say that."

* * *

**AN: FINALLY Sirius knows. I am relieved. **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews! No seriously!**


	30. Brothers

**AN: SO SO sorry for the long wait. I was out of town a few days and then I got a stomach bug that had me **_**seriously **_**down for the count for a while. But I'm BACK! Thank you for the patience!**

**Anyway that's it on personal info lol! My favorite thing is when someone starts reading my story and reviews every chapter as they go and write their reactions. It's so fun to watch as I get the emails:) **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty: Brothers**

Sirius and Hermione sat on that bench for hours. He asked so many questions and some of them led to bouts of laughter from both parties, but some led to tears.

"So I'm guessing you were close to the Weasley's?"

"Immeasurably."

"Were you dating that Ronald Weasley?"

"Um, no." That answer had warranted a raised eyebrow.

"How was living in a tent with my godson?"

"Terrible. Stinky. Cold. Sad." He laughed at the way she wrinkled her nose.

"Whose his mum?"

Hermione smirked, and Sirius grinned. He somehow just _knew_.

"Lily Evans then? No way."

Hermione laughed and said, "Actually I knew her as Lily Potter."

He froze. "Why don't you have any memories with them, kitten?"

She tensed and her eyes watered. "1981 was a bad year," was all she could manage. She watched for a few minutes as Sirius raged and blasted a shrub and paced while she wiped at her eyes and sniffled. She thought briefly about how she should've expected this response. His temper had aided in his Azkaban sentence. When he spun on her, Hermione did her best to hide the way she shrank.

"Voldemort kill them?" He'd adopted her lack of fear in saying his name once he'd learned everything.

"They were targets because of a prophecy that said Harry would be the one to eventually bring an end to Voldemort. Their home was under the Fidelius. You were their secret keeper at first, but _not _when Voldemort came to them. But no one knew they had switched. That's why you were sent to Azkaban. Well, that, and you went after the person who betrayed them, and were accused of killing twelve muggles that _he _actually killed."

"Who betrayed them, Hermione?"

She didn't want to tell him. She didn't want him to grow vindictive and hateful, and push Peter into the Death Eater's waiting hands. He watched her hesitate and grabbed onto her shoulders forcefully.

"Tell me, Hermione!" She jumped at the contact and fierceness in his voice, and he eased his tense hold slightly. "_Please_."

"Peter," she whispered. Before he could explode she jumped up and wrapped him so tight in a hug, that if he tried to lash out, he'd hurt her in the process. "But you _can't _say anything to him or treat him any differently. I'm working to stop him from betraying you ever." Sirius growled against her, and didn't move his hands from his side. She squeezed him tighter, "Please, Sirius. We can still save him."

She held her breath for the seeming endless pause where she didn't know how he'd react. Eventually he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head.

"Okay… Okay. I'll try."

He pulled away, and Hermione cautiously sat back down. Sirius took a few deep breaths and pinched the bridge of his nose. Change in subject then.

"Why the fuck were you guys in Grimmauld Place?"

"It was the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters."

"Where was my family?" That one actually gave her pause.

"They died, Sirius." Sirius, though he made many comments about hating his family, got choked up when his next word came from his mouth.

"Reggie?" Hermione was so close to Regulus now that his death was personal. He wasn't just a name in history anymore. He was a friend, no matter how unwilling he was to admit it.

"He died in 1981." Sirius had to stand up again at that one. His brother was a little shit, no doubt about it, but he was also his little brother. Little Reggie who used to hide behind Sirius when mum started yelling again. Little Reggie who used to sneak him food when Sirius got locked in his room for days. Little Reggie who begged Sirius not to leave him when Sirius started school.

Sirius ran a hand down his face and wiped angrily at his eyes. "Was he a Death Eater?" He paused and turned towards Hermione. "_Is _he a Death Eater?"

Hermione twisted her fingers together. "He was." She shook her head and said, "He is."

"Fuck!" Sirius kicked at the leg of the bench.

She flinched. "His loyalties don't lie with Voldemort."

The boy paused and spun on her. "What?"

Hermione stood and latched onto one of his elbows. "He's a _spy_, Sirius."

When he simply blinked at her, she continued.

"Your mother, the _vile_ woman, forced him to take the mark last Christmas. He came to me when we got back to school. He's been working for the Order ever since."

"Reggie?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.

"In 1981, he died trying to take down Voldemort." Sirius was still having a hard time processing Hermione talking about the future in the past tense. Like all of this had already happened, which to her he guess it had, but to him it sounded like some seriously fucked up bed time story.

After that she explained Horcruxes to him, and how her and Regulus were searching for them with the Order.

Hermione was back to sitting on the bench when she shifted nervously. "Do you want to see him, Sirius?"

He was angry. She didn't know what at or why, but she could see it in his eyes.

"I shouldn't have left him there," he growled.

Hermione took his hands and pulled him to sit. "He didn't have a change of heart until last year, Sirius. He wouldn't have gone with you." She watched as a million emotions flickered across his face before the tension slowly eased out of his body.

He squeezed her hands and pressed kisses to her wrists, "When can I see him?"

Hermione smiled. She was meeting him tomorrow to talk about Narcissa and Lucius's engagement party.

"How does tomorrow morning sound?"

Sirius looked up at her. How had his witch become friends with his little brother and he _hadn't _noticed? He guessed there was actually quite a bit he hadn't noticed about her.

* * *

The next morning found Hermione waking Sirius before the sun had even risen. Sirius grumbled and muttered obscenities at her, but as soon as they were out in the cold air in their cloaks and walking towards the edge of the wards in the dark he took his chance to pull the small witch into his arms.

His lips ghosted across her cheek to whisper in her ear, "You wake me up at an ungodly hour, and I don't even get a good morning kiss?"

Hermione with a smirk pressed a kiss to his cheek and pulled herself out of his arms. "Get through this entire meeting without killing Regulus, and I'll consider giving you a real one."

He watched her curls bounce as she spun and flounced away with a shocked but amused expression. He wanted to tell her that any kisses from her were real, but that went against every part of the image he'd created for himself. Sirius was _not _a romantic, but for some reason the batty witch made him lean towards flowery and lovey dovey acts and words. Something he both hated and loved.

He followed behind her after a few seconds like a lost puppy, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of a large, seemingly abandoned, home. He walked up to it wearily behind Hermione. She had to hold his hand to pass through the wards, but he refused to let go even as they climbed through the threshhold.

The furniture was dusty, the floorboards creaked, and there was a distinct air of residual magic. When she pulled him into a large room with a long table in the middle, he pulled to the stop. This was the room from her memories, and under normal circumstances, that would've been what caused his hesitance. Instead, he found his eyes frozen on the boy lounging, quite comfortably, on one of the chairs at the other end of the room.

If not for his relaxed posture, Regulus would've looked every bit the perfectly dignified Pureblood scion of the House of Black. He had his typical button down and trousers with his thick expensive looking cloak hanging over the arm of the chair. His dragon hide boots were pristine and scuff free and his hair perfectly groomed.

He didn't lift his eyes from the ground when he said in a slow drawl, "You're late, pet."

Sirius's eyebrows flew up at the pet name, and he watched with this expression as his brother's eyes flicked up for a moment before dropping back down. After not even a second his eyes flew back up, and he scrambled from his chair.

He looked anxious and slightly betrayed when he addressed Hermione without moving his gaze from Sirius, "What is this! What's he doing here?"

Hermione watched as Regulus's eyes zeroed in on the two's hands tightly intertwined.

Regulus sneered at her for the first time in nearly a year when he said, "I thought I told you Lupin was a better choice."

Sirius was trying to combine the Regulus Hermione had told him about with the Regulus that stood in front of him, but he was having trouble believing it. He guessed she'd told him more bizarre things in the past twenty-four hours than his perfectly groomed brother being anything other than a bigoted mummy's boy.

Hermione ignored the last comment and whispered, "I'll give you two a moment."

She slipped her hand from Sirius's, and he watched with narrowed eyes as she made her way out a door behind Regulus.

The two Black brothers spent a few moments simply studying each other.

Regulus was the first to speak. "Why are you here?" He sounded exhausted. Not in the physical sense, but in the sense that he couldn't handle an interaction with him.

Sirius thought about it for a moment before saying gruffly, "Hermione told me everything."

Regulus scoffed. "Did she now?"

Sirius shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. When he looked back up at Regulus he looked miserable. "Why didn't you tell me, Reg? I would've helped you. I would've gotten you out of there."

The younger Black looked tortured when he averted his gaze and pulled at his shirt nervously. He looked so much like the scared boy hiding behind his big brother in that moment that Sirius felt another pang of guilt run through him.

"You have no idea what it was like," Regulus whispered. "After you left, things got so much worse. Dad started drinking more, and Mum felt like she had to make up for your mistakes by making me the perfect little Voldemort follower." Regulus crossed his arms over his chest protectively. "You didn't even think about what would happen to me when you left, did you? _I _was responsible for paying for your offenses."

If Sirius thought he felt guilty before, it was nothing compared to now. He hadn't thought of Regulus when he'd left and not returned. Not really. Not until he was safely in bed at Potter Manor, and he had time to really think about what he'd done. Out of some subconscious form of self-preservation, he had believed every facade his brother had projected from then on out. He hadn't even tried to discover how he was faring after his departure, he'd just decided to _never _look back.

Well, he was looking back now, and it fucking _hurt._

Sirius took a step forward, and Regulus watched him with cautious eyes.

"You're right." The words burned coming out of his lips, but it was Hermione's breathy whisper on the sofa in the common room that one night that propelled him forward.

_He's your family, Sirius._

Sirius hadn't believed he'd ever have a brother again until yesterday. Now he was going to do whatever it took to get him back. Sirius had wasted time when he should've been protecting him.

"I'm supposed to be your big brother, Reg. I'm supposed to protect you." Regulus looked like he didn't quite believe anything Sirius had to say. "I'm sorry," Sirius hissed. "You're right. I didn't think about you before I left, and I should've. If I had thought about you, I probably wouldn't have left." Sirius huffed and walked purposely up to Regulus. Regulus shut his eyes tight when his brother pulled him into a hug. "I'll do that now."

"I don't need protecting anymore, Sirius. I figured out how to do it on my own."

Sirius pulled away and left his hands on his shoulders, "You won't do it alone anymore, Reg. We're going to kill that slimy git, and then we're going to get you out of there."

Sirius watched as his brother studied him with a distinctly vulnerable expression. After a few moments Regulus said something that shocked Sirius so much, he had to physically take a step back.

"I think Hermione has you wrapped around her pretty little finger, dear brother."

Sirius, after he recovered from his shock, guffawed and said, "You bet your arse she does."

* * *

Regulus was still weary of Sirius, but the prospect of not feeling _so_ alone anymore, was too sweet. He was suspicious of course. Naturally. But Gryffindors weren't known for schemes and lies (except possibly Hermione), so he found himself leaning towards trust. Funny that a year ago, he would've said he didn't trust anyone, but now he could add a curly headed menace with a martyr complex and his ridiculously arrogant, rebellious older brother to the previously barren list.

Regulus was tasked with going to retrieve Hermione, so they could talk about their meetings intended topic.

When he found her, she was standing out in the snow, nervously twiddling her thumbs. She spun on him with a probing look when she heard his footsteps crunching in the snow.

"Well?"

Regulus glared at her, "I'm getting tired of you springing surprise social interactions on me, Hermione." She bit her lip guiltily, so Regulus added, "But I guess this one was okay."

Hermione grinned and threw her arms around him. She pulled away quickly and held onto his elbows, "Are we friends yet?"

He snorted indelicately, a habit he supposed he picked up from the very witch squeezing the life out of his arms, and said, "Most definitely not."

She laughed and started pulling him back towards the house.

When she walked back in, both boys decided she was much too chipper for the hour and the occasion.

She smiled and clapped her hands together, "Okay, now time to get down to business."

Sirius groaned, and Regulus rolled his eyes.

* * *

The engagement party was on the afternoon of New Year's Eve.

They'd spent nearly an hour ironing out a plan for the party. Getting Sirius and Hermione through the wards was what gave them the most pause, but after tossing around a few ideas, Hermione had the brilliant idea to slip through in their Animagus forms then use James's cloak to enter the Manor. Regulus would be socializing due to obligation while Sirius and Hermione searched for the diary.  
Hermione and Sirius were standing right outside the wards at the time Regulus told them to.

Hermione was checking her bag to make sure she had the box and cloak when Sirius took hold of her cheeks and pulled her into a bruising kiss. It was all teeth and tongues and passion, and so unlike any kiss they'd shared so far, that it left Hermione completely breathless.

When he pulled away he smiled at her gasping breath and flushed face. His smile melted, and he pressed a much softer, slower kiss to her lips. He pulled away and simply rested his forehead against hers.

"Be careful, Hermione."

She dragged one of her hands from his shoulder down to the pendant resting around his neck. She held her hand over it and felt his thundering heartbeat. He hadn't taken the dragon pendant off since she'd gotten it for him.

"Don't forget about this."

He snatched her hands and kissed her palms. "I would never, kitten."

She pulled away and grinned at him before transforming into her Animagus form. She watched through her cat eyes as a large dog appeared in front of her.

Getting through the wards was easy, but once they were in they had to find a place to transform back. Regulus told them about a hedge maze that the Malfoy's had behind their gardens, so the two ran in that direction as soon as they were through.

Hermione jumped behind a tall hedge and quickly transformed. Regulus was meant to meet them out here as soon as he arrived at the party, so once they were both human, Hermione threw the invisibility cloak over the two of them, and they settled at an angle so they'd be able to see if anyone came in.

Once Hermione's eyes landed on the top floor of Malfoy Manor peeking out from over the hedge, she couldn't look away.

Her fingers found the sleeve of Sirius's shirt, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

She'd recently taken to giving herself ten seconds to compose herself and put all of the memories back in her boxes.

Sirius was worried as soon as she'd latched onto his sleeve, but when she started counting to ten under his breath, his concern grew. He had been thinking about how they would be returning to the place she was held over the past few days, but she'd given no indication that she was struggling with that.

"One… Two… Three…" He reached over and pulled her so that she was sitting in front of him on the ground. Her back was to his chest, and he spread his legs wide to pull her even closer. He adjusted to make sure the cloak was still completely wrapped around them. That night on the stairwell of Potter Manor she'd told him to hold her tightly.

"Four… Five…"

"Kitten, what are you doing?" He whispered against her ear. His back was curved, so he could rest his chin on her shoulder.

"I have ten seconds." Sirius turned and pressed his forehead to her temple. "And I have to start over now thanks to you."

Before she could start again, Sirius asked, "What happens after ten seconds?"

She sighed, and Sirius felt her squeeze her eyes tighter. "I'm filing away my memories of this place."

After that, Sirius remained silent as she quietly counted to ten, and once she was done, he pressed soft kisses to her forehead.

Regulus showed up right after that, pale faced, but otherwise calm and collected. Hermione took a deep breath and jumped to her feet, pulling Sirius with her. She lightly touch Regulus's elbow to let them know they were there, and they started making their way to the entrance. Sirius's back was arched at an odd angle to accommodate the height difference and keep the cloak covering the both of them.

Getting through the door was easy enough. It was opened by a house elf who held the door open for Regulus, who paused with enough room for them to slip through next to him, under the pretense that he was checking over his shoulder for something. Once they were through Hermione reached and tapped his elbow again.

The three of them had discussed at length where in the Manor to look for the diary. Hermione had pushed for the library while Regulus had pushed for Lucius's personal office. Regulus had drawn out a map of the Manor as accurately as he could.

Sirius had a tight grip on Hermione's hips as they walked through the party. Regulus had separated from them almost instantly with no acknowledgement of their presence. The Manor was different from what it had been like in her memory. It was dark and eerie and filled to the brim with disturbed witches and wizards in Death Eater Garb. Seeing all of these Death Eaters in their formal robes with glasses of champagne was frustrating to Hermione on a level she hadn't anticipated. When she saw Dolohov, she froze.

They'd been shuffling along the edge of one of the large sitting rooms in between the hall and Lucius's office. This room in particular was filled with men lounging about with tumblers of fire whiskey.

If Sirius hadn't been paying such close attention to Hermione, he would've run her over and revealed their location, but as soon as they'd entered this particular room, he'd focused all his attention on the small witch in front of him. There was no doubt in his mind that Hermione was… acquainted with more than one wizard in this room. He looked down and followed her line of vision to the one wizard that gave her pause.

It was the same face that had grinned at her from the alley as he'd thrown that purple curse at them. Antonin Dolohov. He was a tall man with brown wavy hair and sharp features. His dark eyes had an evil glint in them that made Sirius both sick to his stomach and irrevocably angry.

_He's disturbed. Very good at Charms. He creates his own dark curses and hexes, and he has a weird obsession with me. Calls me his malen'kaya ptitsa._

Sirius hadn't admitted it to her, but he'd committed that term of endearment to memory and rummaged through the Potter library for a book on the Russian language. Little bird. Dolohov called _his _Hermione his own little bird.

He pushed his own anger away when Hermione shivered underneath his hands.

He knew speaking any words of comfort to her would be too risky, so instead he pressed his thumbs gently into her ribs and started rubbing small circles there. He dropped his forehead into her curls and felt as she straightened her spine. Her cold fingers found his and he knew what she was trying to say.

_I'm fine._

_For now. _

She snapped out of it and jumped into action when they were hit with a stroke of luck and the door to office slid open. Out stepped Abraxus and Lucius. They paused just outside the doorway and spoke in hushed tones to each other. There was no way for them to slip through without opening the door further, so they paused. Hermione tried to listen to the conversation, but the pounding of her own heart and rushing blood made focusing on their whispered words difficult.

Just then a strikingly beautiful witch glided into the room and spoke delicately, "Father is to give a speech in the Drawing Room."

Hermione spun her head back to the door quickly and shoved her toe in between the jamb and the door. Lucius smiled tightly at his father and pushed the door shut without looking at it. Hermione flinched when it hit her toe. He waved his wand behind him in what Hermione assumed was a nonverbal locking charm and followed the rest of the men out of the room.

Hermione and Sirius watched carefully as Lucius made his way out.

Right as he got to the entrance to the hallway, he paused.

Hermione's heart launched into her throat as his sharp eyes looked at the slightly cracked door. He paused and started walking back towards them, but he was stopped when the witch came back into the room.

"Lucius?"

His eyes flickered to the witch and said, "Just a moment, Cissa."

Her pale hand wrapped around Lucius's elbow, and she smiled up at him fondly. "Who is at this party that we can not trust, Lucius?"

Hermione lips thinned at that. The Narcissa Malfoy that she remembered was a lot of things. Intelligent. Elegant. Surprisingly compassionate. But _never_ naive.

Hermione suddenly felt extremely intrusive when Lucius turned and placed a hand on the witch's cheek.

"Cissa, I do love your innocence." He pressed a completely proper kiss to her forehead and smiled adoringly at her. "There are many here we shouldn't trust, but I will indulge you in this one thing."

Hermione didn't think she would ever see the real life vision that was a blushing Lucius Malfoy. The man was unsettling and hardened in the future, and here he was smiling and blushing like an average teenage boy. She found herself immeasurably thankful when Lucius allowed Narcissa to pull him from the room.

Hermione let out a sigh when she thought it was safe and immediately pulled Sirius after her into the room. She shut the door behind them and ripped the cloak off.

Once she was still, she could feel it. That subtle _dark _pull of Voldemort's soul.

"It's here," she whispered.

Sirius could feel it too now that Hermione had told him what to look for, and it was a discomforting feeling in every sense. He observed silently as Hermione fluttered around the room. This was a side of her that he hadn't seen since that day in Hogsmeade. Watching her intelligent eyes scan the contents of his bookshelves, he realized something. Hermione being the brains behind the light side of the war made even more sense than Bellatrix being the one behind her scar. Which was saying something because Bellatrix being just as sadistic and evil as he'd always joked her to be wasn't a surprise to him _at all_.

And, Merlin… did thinking about his witch as some kind of avenging warrior goddess send him down a mental path that he _really _didn't have time for at the moment.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Hermione made a noise at the back of her throat.

Hermione was crouched next to the liquor cabinet in the corner. Somehow during his brief daydreaming state, she had found a trick cabinet wall behind copious amounts of aged liquor bottles. He rushed to her and watched as she dismantled a ward on the cabinet wall and suddenly right in front of them was an aged black diary.

"The diary of Tom Riddle," she said under her breath.

Sirius could feel the magic from before tenfold. There were whispers in his ear blowing through in a slow, hissing voice.

_You'll never be a good man. _

_You won't be able to save her. _

_You will never be good enough for her. _

He stared wide eyed as Hermione levitated the diary into a box and shoved it deep into her bag. They slipped the cloak back on over them, but not before Sirius had pulled her tightly against his chest.

"Don't listen to it," she whispered. How she had known what he was thinking was beyond him. He needed her close. He needed her to wrap her arms around him in return. "Whatever it said to you are lies. Just your worst nightmares." She kissed the fabric of his shirt right over his heart and pulled away.

Hermione had the same thought running through her mind as she quietly pulled the door open just enough for them to slip out.

It had been _too _easy.

Her thoughts were confirmed when standing in the middle of the room was Lucius and Narcissa again. Narcissa stared with narrowed eyes at the open door, while Lucius jumped to action and threw his wand up.

He opened his mouth to no doubt fire a curse, but Hermione hit him with a stunner before he could so much as utter a word.

Narcissa looked down at her stunned fiance before her knowing eyes darted to the seemingly empty space in front of her.

Hermione's mind whirred. She needed to obliviate them.

Before Sirius could stop her, she threw the cloak off them and pointed her wand in between Narcissa's eyes, but Narcissa wasn't even looking at her.

Her eyes were locked on Sirius beside Hermione.

"Sirius?" She asked disbelieving.

Hermione's eyes widened when Narcissa shut the door and muttered a few privacy charms. She spun back around and darted looks between the two of them.

When the witch spoke, Hermione could do nothing but listen raptly.

"You, Sirius Black, have some explaining to do."

"Cissa," Sirius smiled at her cheekily, but Hermione could see the nerves he was hiding with his clenched fists. "How are you?"

Narcissa's eyes narrowed, and Hermione watched as the prim witch calmly stepped over her prone fiance and pointed a perfectly polished fingernail at her cousin.

"I may come across like an empty-minded pureblood princess, but _you_ know better." Her finger dropped, and she laced her fingers in front of her. Her eyes landed and remained on Hermione for the first time, and Hermione watched as she seemed to have a bit of a revelation. "I know you. You're Dolohov's little angel who fights like a soldier and blocks my husband's legilimency with ease." Hermione's eyes widened. "As sharp and capable as you are, Miss Granger, subtlety is something you distinctly lack. You and your unruly hair demand to be noticed."

Hermione gawked, and Sirius snorted. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. When he pressed a kiss to her wholly irritated head, Narcissa raised her eyebrows.

"Is this the kind of dates you take your witch of the week on now, Sirius? How did you convince this one that sneaking into your cousin's engagement party would be romantic?"

Sirius's lips turned down. "Not quite what's going on here, Cissa."

Narcissa's eyes turned back to Lucius before she eyed Hermione's unwavering wand arm. "Yes, I imagine so."

Sirius's hand went to Hermione's wrist. "Kitten, let me talk to her."

Hermione didn't look away from Narcissa when she said strongly, "I'm not taking chances."

Sirius's fingers tightened on Hermione's arm. She pulled away from him and walked up to Lucius. She stared down at the man before pointing her wand, focusing on her task, and whispering, "Obliviate."

She removed the memory of the open door as well to be safe.

Once she was done, she moved to stand in front of the suspiciously calm Narcissa.

She had one distinct memory of her coming down to the dungeons one day and sliding a couple slices of bread over to her.

_You are strong, Hermione Granger._

It was one of the brief moments in that cell that had lent to her sanity.

Sirius watched as the two witches studied each other. Though both witches were capable of things that Sirius didn't even want to imagine, they stood staring at each other with no ounce of fear.

Sirius imagined _he _was more afraid than they were.

"I will _not _take any chances," Hermione reiterated.

"I have not even been given a fair trial," Narcissa said with a put-on amused smile. While Hermione was all blunt force, Narcissa was masked metaphors with underlying threats.

"Then convince me, Narcissa Black, but do it quickly because I'm sure the two people this party is for will be recognized as notably absent any moment now."

"Quite right."

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at her and crossed her arms over her chest, "Go on."

"I'm assuming since you obliviated my fiance, you're here for a reason other than my cousin's foolish need to prank innocents and further enrage his mother."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Calling the attendees of this party 'innocents' is a bit of a stretch, don't you think?" Hermione tilted her head innocently. Narcissa smiled like Hermione had just walked into the trap she had carefully set.

"Ah. As I suspected. _You _dragged my cousin here, rather than the other way around. You are far too transparent for your own good, Hermione. Far too _Gryffindor._"

Hermione was getting angry. That much was clear from the sparks flying off her hair. Sirius watched with unswayed attention as his witch had the audacity to poke Narcissa bloody Black right in the middle of her chest.

"You better be careful, Narcissa," she spat out. Narcissa stumbled backwards and for the first time, looked anything but put-together. She gritted her teeth and flicked a stray piece of pristine straight hair away from her face.

"As I was saying…" she practically growled, "You have been seen at multiple Death Eater raids fighting with known Blood-traitors. I don't know specifically what my fiance keeps hidden in that office of his, but what I _do _know is that I want nothing to do with it." Hermione's harsh expression morphed into shock. Narcissa gave her a sharp look. "A lot of things in my life haven't been a choice, and I have gone along with it out of a sense of duty and my own self-preservation."

Hermione suddenly thought that perhaps Narcissa pulling Lucius away from the open door hadn't been naive at all.

"I can _feel_ the magic that he keeps in there, and I can feel that it's gone now." Her eyes left Hermione's and landed on her cousin. "So go now."

With that Narcissa Black picked up the shimmering fabric from the ground and held it out to the two of them.

"You may obliviate me if you feel it necessary, but I can assure you with a legilimens as a fiance, I have adopted the skill of occlumency. No one here will know of your presence."

Sirius reacted first. He carefully took the fabric from her outstretched hand and pressed a kiss to Narcissa's cheek.

"You are treated well?" He asked carefully. Narcissa's stony expression remained, but there was a softness in her eyes as she regarded her younger cousin.

"You need not worry for me, Sirius. I am stronger than I appear, and Lucius treats me well."

Sirius looked like he wanted to protest, so before he could, Hermione grabbed his elbow.

"Sirius, we have to go."

He took one last look at his cousin and said, "You will contact me if you need me?"

Narcissa gave him an amused smile. "I've missed you, cousin. Little Regulus is not nearly as entertaining."

Once they were out of the Manor and through the wards, Hermione felt the tension release from her body.

Three Horcruxes down.

* * *

**AN:**

**Lots of Black family interactions in this one! If you can't tell my favorite part of writing is character development. I think I overwhelm myself with how many characters and storylines I want to write into every fic. **

**Thanks as always for the PATIENCE, follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**If you're still following this story let me know what you think!**


	31. My Fault

**AN: Probably about twelve more chapters left of this never-ending fic. Wild. give or take a couple. All depending on if I want to write an epilogue or not.**

**This chapter is kind of sad:(**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One: My Fault**

Sirius and Hermione returned to Potter Manor with one hour left before the annual Potter New Year's Eve party.

The theme this year was a simple black and white theme, and Hermione found just allowing Dorea full reign to dress her like a doll was the easiest option. When she made it to her room, Dorea shoved her into the bathroom with orders to take the fastest shower possible. Five minutes later she was being dressed by the woman, and her hair and face were being poked and prodded by Lily.

When she finally looked at herself in the mirror she choked.

"Dorea!" Hermione hadn't called her anything but Mum for over a year, so the woman's eyes narrowed. "I can _not _wear this."

Hermione's entire body flushed, and she scowled at the image in the mirror. It was a black silk dress that was fitted, but not necesarily tight. It fell to her ankles, and didn't exactly leave much to the imagination. It was held up by two skinny spaghetti straps.

"And why not?" Dorea asked with a smirk.

Hermione looked at the peak of cleavage and then spun and looked at the dip of the black fabric in the back. There was _no _back. Hermione squeaked.

"So much skin," Hermione whined with her hands on her hot cheeks. " Are you trying to kill me!"

Dorea's smirk intensified and she said in a nearly monotone voice. "You're seventeen. This is your first true debut as an of age woman in Wizarding society."

Hermione's jaw dropped, and she staunchly ignored Lily's laughs in the background. "So… what? You're showing off my… _assets?_" The last word came out as a screech.

Lily spoke up. "_Honestly_, Hermione. It's a perfectly modest dress."

Hermione gave her an incredulous look. Lily looked gorgeous of course. She had a simple white dress that stopped mid calf and had sparkly pins holding back her hair. The neckline was modestly low, and she was wearing a light amount of make-up. Hermione scowled and turned back to the mirror. She liked her hair at least. After Dorea's extensive charms it was now down just past her collar bones in loose curls.

"Perhaps, we will find you a nice husband tonight." Hermione's jaw dropped. "I've invited quite a few young wizards who I believe will make excellent matches for you."

"Excuse _me_!"

"You mean Sirius?" Lily asked with false innocence. Hermione's fingers went to cover her eyes.

"Oh, Merlin."

* * *

For the first hour, Hermione was pulled across the house to the so called 'excellent matches' by her elbow.

The first had been Frank Longbottom. Hermione immediately shook her head no at Dorea and luckily the woman took the hint and pulled her away after just a couple minutes of socially stunted small talk.

Amos Diggory shook her hand excitedly and looked up and down her form in a way that had her twisting her fingers into the soft black fabric of her skirt. He spoke for what must have been half an hour about his many achievements, and Hermione had to force the falsest smile on her face. It wasn't until he brought up his engagement that Dorea pulled her away again.

When she pulled her in front of a smirking Gideon Prewett, Hermione had had enough.

"Mum, absolutely not," was the first thing out of her mouth after Gideon greeted her with a theatrical kiss to the back of her hand.

"Gideon Prewett is a wonderful wizard and man." Gideon peacocked at the comment and winked at Hermione. Now she just _knew _Dorea was playing with her. She turned a glare on the witch before pulling her hand not too gently from his. He immediately moved it over his heart in mock offense.

"This is just too far," Hermione said derisively.

"Come on, birdy. I could make you really happy," he teased. Hermione glared at him.

"Okay. I'm quite finished indulging your nonsense, Dorea Potter."

Hermione spun and walked through the crowd to try to find one of her friends.

She was stopped by a tug of the elbow which had her landing against a solid chest. _Honestly_, did she have rag doll written on her forehead or something?

She gasped and looked up.

"Oh, Sirius," she let out breathlessly. His intense gaze scanned her form.

"Kitten, you look…" He seemed to be searching his mind for the right word. He looked into her eyes and finally said, "So unbelievably beautiful." She flushed prettily and his lips quirked upward. When one of his hands moved to run down her bare spine, she shivered.

Remus touching her had been like being caressed by the afternoon sun. He was warm and comforting and loving. Sirius touching her felt like he was setting her blood on fire. She was a bundle of nerves and excitement, so being Hermione she started rambling.

"Thank Merlin, I've found you! Mum has spent an hour trying to set me up with Wizards. I hope she doesn't expect me to join a courtship in a proper Pureblood fashion because I don't know if I can do that. It just seems so bloody stifling and stiff. Plus, I mean… Amos Diggory? Really? He's such a self-centered arse. Also isn't Frank Longbottom dating Alice? I could never get between that. And then, of course, Gideon Prewett is out of the question, and not even because he's twenty-five. I wouldn't mind being with an older wizard, but he is an abomination. Plus, I mean there's…"

She stopped abruptly and averted her eyes. She'd wanted to say _there's you_, but then she remembered who she was talking to. Sirius and Marlene always described their relationship as 'a bit of fun' and she had had zero free moments in the past week to really consider what it was exactly that was going on between her and Sirius. It wasn't just 'a bit of fun' to Hermione, but was that what it was to him? She bit her lip nervously and looked down at his perfectly polished black shoes. Sirius had been listening to her little rant in obvious amusement, until she'd stopped. She had started to pale rapidly, and he found himself counting the freckles that now stood out in sharp contrast. Seventeen.

When she started nibbling on her rosy lower lip, he shook himself.

"There's what, Hermione?" He watched as she contemplated something for a moment before looking up at him nervously.

"Well…" She shifted and averted her eyes again. She cleared her throat and whispered, "Well, there's you."

He smirked, but then he remembered her rant from before and he choked on his own spit. Courting? Surely Dorea wasn't expecting him to court her properly? Who would conduct the negotiations? Dorea couldn't very well conduct both sides of it. Could she? Wait why was he thinking about courtship? Courtship led to marriage and marriage led to babies and babies led to forever. At the mention of babies from his own treacherous mind he visibly flinched.

She seemed to take his panicked expression and obvious discomfort as something bad because she pulled herself from his arms. She nodded to herself and one of her sleek curls fell in front of her face.

"Right," she said weakly. She backed away a couple steps, and he watched her with a confused frown, thoughts of babies slipping from his brain.

"Hermione?" He asked carefully.

She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. "I actually have to go talk to Lily."

Before he could stop her she disappeared into the crowd like a ghost.

"Fuck," he grumbled under his breath. He buggered everything up already, and he wasn't even sure how.

* * *

Hermione felt ridiculous. Sirius had made her feel so special in the past week, and maybe she was overreacting, but she was starting to have doubts. He'd never actually dated someone, so why should she be any different?

He'd said he wouldn't leave her, and he stayed with her when she was in the hospital wing. He never really answered what they wanted James's blessing to be for. He'd just kissed her.

Things with Remus had been so easy at the start. She knew exactly where he stood. After the way they ended, she couldn't really blame herself for being weary.

She was hiding in the corner nursing a glass of champagne when she was accosted by a smiling Remus. She downed the rest of her champagne and placed the flute on the edge of the table next to her.

"Hermione, you look beautiful," he said happily. She tried to smile, but it turned out as more of a grimace.

"Thank you, Remus. You look very handsome."

He would've blushed at that last year, so she found herself relieved when he simply smiled at her. His smile dropped after a few seconds into a concerned expression.

"It's a holiday, Hermione. You shouldn't look so sad."

Hermione sighed and glanced around. No one was paying attention to them, so she leaned forward and rested her cheek against his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around her in return. "Am I just a bit of fun like Marlene?" She asked before she could stop herself.

He didn't need to ask to know she was talking about Sirius. He frowned and pushed her back by her shoulders. She was tugging on her curls and looking up at him earnestly. She was beautiful, and he felt a lightness in his heart when he realized it didn't hurt as much to look at her. Her asking him about Sirius was a different question though.

"Did he say something to you?"

Hermione closed her eyes and explained her rant from before to him, and a small smile made its way onto his face.

"Hermione," he interrupted with a Dumbledore worthy twinkle in his eyes.

She looked up at him, "Yes?"

He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I think Sirius thought you were trying to inadvertently ask him to start a courtship with you."

Hermione flushed and gave him an indignant look. "Well, that's just ridiculous! I told him I don't want anything to do with formal courtships!"

"Hermione," Remus groaned. His hand moved to run down his face.

She suddenly seemed to understand what position she was putting him in and took a step back. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, Remus. I shouldn't have brought this up to you. I'm being stupid."

He reached out for her hand and squeezed it. "Just talk to him, love."

"Talk to who?" Hermione yanked her hand from Remus's as a flushed Sirius showed up behind him.

"Sirius!" She exclaimed for the second time in an hour.

She realized immediately that pulling away from Remus like that had made her look guilty. She ignored the frown Remus sent her and looked at her shoes.

"Talk to who?" Sirius asked again.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "Talk to you, Pads. She's worried that you only want sex from her."

"Remus!" Hermione hissed.

"No!" Remus whisper-yelled. He softened when Hermione stepped away from him in shock. "Just figure it out, Hermione. Talk about it," he said softly. He kissed her forehead in apology, then he disappeared back into the crowd.

She crossed her arms petulantly and chanced a glance at Sirius. His expression was masked.

After a few moments he asked quietly, "Is that what you think, Hermione?"

She frowned at him. "No." Her cheeks flushed and she huffed, "I'm _scared _that's what's happening."

She could see that he was angry, so she kept talking.

"This past week has been wonderful," she said breathily. She was doing her nervous tick where she talked with her hands. "But then you panicked when I talked about Mum and courtships and now _I'm _panicking, so I guess I just… I need to know, Sirius." Her eyes left his, and her hands clutched at the fabric of her dress over her stomach. "I need to know what you want from…" She paused to gesture between them, "..._this."_

Sirius's hands went to her cheeks, and his thumb swiped against her cheekbone. "Kitten…" He could vaguely here the party start to count down in the background. She looked up at him from under her lashes. All of the anger was replaced with an unidentifiable expression. "You wouldn't be just sex to me."

She stared at him for a moment before whispering, "You mean it?"

He smiled down at her and said, "I want all of you. Sex, battles, emotions, odd friends, swottiness, but _no _courtships."

Hermione snorted, "Sirius, I don't want-"

He interrupted her with a kiss at the end of the countdown that had both of them weak in the knees.

* * *

That night, a few hours after Lily and Hermione had fallen asleep, she was woken up by the door creaking open. Hermione immediately flew up and had her wand pointed at the intruder, but she dropped it when she saw a panicked James.

"Jamie?" She asked tiredly.

Sirius appeared behind him with a confusingly grim expression. James walked over to Lily's side of the bed.

Hermione hissed, "James, she's sleeping!"

When he ignored her and gently took one of Lily's shoulders in his hand, Hermione watched on wearily. There was something on James's face that she didn't like. He was too serious. Too sad.

Lily blinked her eyes open. "James Potter. What are you doing in here?"

James ignored her snark and whispered, "It's your family, Lily."

Lily grabbed his hand on her shoulder, and Hermione tensed. She felt Sirius come up to stand right behind her. "What do you mean?" Lily's voice was weak.

"There was an attack. They… your parents… they're dead, Lily." James's voice cracked, and Hermione released a choked sob. "Your sister wasn't there, but they got your parents. I'm so sorry, Lily." Hermione reached out for her friend, but before she could get to her she felt Sirius wrap his arms around her middle and pull her back against his chest.

"Let James, kitten," he whispered against her ear. She shook against him and watched as Lily vehemently denied everything James was saying. When Lily's watery green eyes turned and looked at a sobbing Hermione, it hurt even worse.

"Did you know?" She asked quietly.

Hermione gasped at the question. "No, Lily! No, I promise!"

James looked between the two and said strongly, "There's no way Hermione could've known what was going to happen, Lily." Sirius squeezed her tighter, and she felt guilt over James defending her so fiercly.

Lily began to weep then, and that's when Dorea came into the room.

"Everyone please give me a moment with the girl."

"Lils…" Hermione tried, but Lily wouldn't look at her. Sirius had to pick her up just to get her out of the room. She fought him as he carried her away, but once the door shut behind Dorea she collapsed against him.

He carried her to his room at the end of the hall, and sat on the comfortable armchair in front of the fireplace. James had sat himself against the wall outside her room.

Once Sirius had settled her on his lap, she pushed up to look at him.

"I didn't know, Sirius. I _swear_."

Sirius pushed her curls behind her ears and smiled sadly at her. "I know, Hermione." She shook her head repeatedly, so Sirius placed both hands on her cheeks to still her.

"It's my fault!" She sobbed as she dropped her forehead against his shoulder. Sirius suddenly understood all of the pressure she'd been under. Any death because of Voldemort added to her conscious. This one just happened to be close to her heart. He realized he was in over his head emotionally when her pain felt like his. It was almost _crushing_.

He pressed his lips against her curls and whispered assurances, "It's not your fault, Hermione."

Nothing really worked. She was completely irrational. So he stopped trying with words and just held her more gently than he'd ever held a witch before. It wasn't until the sun had risen that she finally calmed down enough to fall asleep restlessly in his arms. Sirius was bone tired and his feet were asleep, but he didn't dare leave her. Either in sleep or physically.

Remus came in and found them like that, and he took one look at her puffy face and understood. He looked at Sirius. She'd told him a few days after Christmas that she'd told Sirius where she was from.

"She thinks it's her fault," Remus whispered so as not to disturb her. Sirius nodded even though he knew he didn't mean it as a question. Remus added sadly, "She did the same thing when she found out about Dumbledore's curse."

Sirius watched as Remus collapsed on the other arm chair in Sirius's large room. Then they both turned and stared vacantly at the fire.

"What did you do, Moony? When she did this last time."

He remembered very clearly. She'd come back looking so vulnerable. So tired and sad and guilty. All he'd done is pull her into his arms and hold her until she fell asleep. Remus glanced at the small witch curled up in his best friends lap.

"I did exactly what you're doing."

Sirius sighed and kissed the top of her head. "How's Lily?"

Remus frowned heavily. "I imagine she'd doing even worse than you think. Dorea stayed in there with her." Remus adjusted and dropped his head against the back of the chair. "James slept on the floor outside the room. Poor sod."

Sirius laughed, but it came out dry and humorless.

Hermione shifted then and pressed her wet nose against his chest. Sirius looked down at her, but her eyes were squeezed shut. He stood, careful not to jostle her too much, and carried her to his bed. He had a feeling Lily wouldn't be leaving hers for a while.

When he tried to release her, she wouldn't release her grip on his arm.

"No," she said simply.

Sirius looked at Remus over his shoulder, and his friend understood.

He stood and gave the two one last look before exiting the room.

Sirius laid down on the bed in front of her and pulled the thick comforter over them. Their heads were resting on the same pillow, and their noses were just a few millimeters away from each other. Sirius grabbed her hand and laced their fingers. He kissed all of her knuckles before resting their hands in between their two bodies.

"Sleep, kitten. It's going to be okay."

* * *

**AN: Short chapter, but this is all I had outlined, and I am sure you all know by know if you read my notes how strictly I follow my outline:')**

**Let me know what you think! **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**


	32. Polyjuice

**AN: I think this rapid fire writing is due to my excitement over everything that will be happening in these final chapters. It's about to be bam bam bam in every chapter yee haw**

**I have already started outlining a few more stories, and if you haven't yet, go check out my other story Ancient Curiosity! Very excited about that one, and it will be my main focus as soon as I finish The Remains. It's also Sirimione, but a **_**much **_**different vibe. It'll be shorter and more mystery orientated! Check it out!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Polyjuice**

Hermione stood in front of Lily in the traveling room. The Marauders and Charlus and Dorea observed from a safe distance as the two witches in black dresses stared blankly at each other.

Hermione couldn't stand to look in those watery green eyes, so she stared determinately at the wrinkles on the sleeve of Lily's dress. Lily hadn't said a word to her. Not a single one. Hermione had tried over the past few days when Lily wasn't gone planning the funeral or spending obligatory time with Petunia. They only had a couple more days before they had to go back for the start of term, and Hermione didn't know how Lily was going to bare it. Though, she supposed spending any amount of time away from Petunia and her wretched husband was better than the alternative.

James still couldn't grasp the tension between the two witches. They may assume that he was oblivious, but he knew there were things about Hermione that he didn't know. Things that Lily, Remus, Sirius, and his parents were in the light about. There were topics that he was more than willing to push about, but this was not one. If he pushed, Hermione would close off, and if she closed off, he would never know what it was. She would tell him when she was ready.

But that understanding didn't make Lily's and Hermione's odd silence any less frustrating.

After a few minutes where James swore he could hear crickets chirping, Lily seemed to throw herself at Hermione. The small witch buckled under the taller witches insistent embrace and suddenly both girls were sprawled on the ground in a sobbing, shaking puddle.

James would have laughed if it wasn't so damn sad.

Lily was whispering something through her sobs that had Hermione crying even harder, and it wasn't until Dorea lightly pulled them apart to cast some light wrinkle release charms that the girls started to calm down.

Sirius went over and pulled Hermione up, but not before leaning over to whisper, "Told you so."

* * *

The funeral was miserable.

Lily stared blankly at the caskets and the rest of them sat stiffly in the back. At the Memorial service back at the Evan's home she watched in terror as Petunia and Vernon were given full custody of Lily until her eighteenth birthday. Petunia had a decidedly pinched expressions while Vernon was immediately filled with reluctant rage.

There was nothing they could legally do in either the Muggle or Wizarding world, so Lily did her best to assure them she'd be fine as Petunia pulled her away with words that vaguely sounded like, "Come along, freak!"

Based on the way Remus tensed, Hermione could tell she had been right.

When they got back to Potter Manor, Hermione pulled Sirius up to her room and locked and silenced the door.

Sirius warily sat himself on the edge of the bed and watched as the frenzied witch paced the length of the room back and forth and back and forth. He'd been waiting for some other feeling besides guilt to predominate her emotions, and it seemed now was the time.

She looked determined.

"We need a plan for the cup, Sirius."

He sat up straighter and gave her a once-over. "What have you got, kitten?"

She paused and turned towards him with her hands steepled in front of her. "We've got the Diary, the Ring, and the Diadem. The Locket hasn't been placed, and Nagini is with Voldemort. That means that the only one we are capable of retrieving would be the Cup which I happen to believe has been placed in the Lestrange Vault at Gringotts."

Sirius's eyes widened. "And how do you reckon we'll be able to get into Gringotts?"

Hermione pretended like he wasn't even there and continued. "This one is clearly going to be the most difficult to retrieve for obvious reasons."

He watched as she tossed her head from side to side as she seemed to be weighing two options in her mind.

"I think it's time we pay a visit to your cousin, Sirius."

Sirius scoffed, "I don't think Narcissa wants to see you anytime soon."

She was still in her black dress and sensible heels when she wrapped a thick cloak around her shoulders and held out her hand. "I'm not talking about Narcissa."

Sirius didn't even hesitate in taking her hand.

* * *

The house Hermione apparated in front of was hardly a Manor. It was a comfortable looking cottage surrounded by a stone wall and bursting gardens. Sirius observed the climbing ivy on the stone foundation and the various Magical flora taking over the front lawn.

"Where are we?" He asked.

Hermione ignored him and knocked lightly on the front door. The door swung open a few moments later, but no one seemed to be waiting for them on the other side.

At least, that's what Sirius thought until he heard a small voice exclaim loudly, "Mum! Dad! There are some weird people here!"

Sirius's eyes dropped to a little girl with bubblegum pink pigtails in a colorfully stained dress.

"Nymphadora!" He yelled excitedly and bent down to greet her, but before he could, she stomped on his foot so hard, he actually stumbled.

"That is _not _my name!"

Her hair color changed quickly from the happy pink to a flaming red, and Sirius threw his hands up in a surrender motion.

"Sorry about that, Dora," he smiled at her as he hopped around on one foot. He could hear Hermione's quiet giggles from her spot next to him, and grinned widely at her. He hadn't realized how much he liked her laughs until he'd had to go a few days without them.

Just then, a nice-looking man in muggle jeans and a t-shirt came to door and picked up the squirming toddler.

"Sorry about that," he said with a sheepish smile.

Hermione had seen Ted Tonks at the Order meetings, but they had never actually spoken to each other. Hermione held her hand out and smiled up at the kind man.

"Hullo, I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Hermione."

Ted grinned at her and leaned down conspiratorially, "I quite know who you are, Hermione Granger."

Hermione blushed, but then sighed in relief when he took her hand anyway for a hearty shake. "I'm Ted."

"Ted, who's here?" A woman's voice sounded from further inside.

He gestured for Sirius and Hermione to follow him inside, and Sirius placed a hand on her back.

When they stepped by him, Nymphadora thrust her arms out and wrapped them around Hermione's neck, trapping her into taking the tiny thing from Ted's arms. He gave her an apologetic smile as he released his daughter.

"It's Hermione and Sirius, dear!"

Hermione smiled indulgently as Nymphadora's sticky fingers tugged on her curls. The little metamorphmagus wrinkled her nose and her own red hair sprang up into wild corkscrews.

"Curls are her favorite," Ted said fondly.

Andromeda came bustling around a corner then with a flour smeared apron and a confused smile.

"Hullo, you two. To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Hermione's smile slowly faded into a grim twist, and Andromeda gave her a knowing look.

"As I thought," she said carefully. She turned to her husband, "Perhaps it's time for Dora to take a nap?"

Ted looked between the two teenagers before reaching out for Nymphadora who reluctantly let go of Hermione.

"Come on, piggy. It's nap time."

"But I don't want to!"

"Too bad."

Andromeda watched with an adoring smile as her small family made their way down a hall. Once, she heard the quiet click of a door shutting she turned back to them.

"Tea?"

Before they could answer, she turned around and with a wave of her hand, they followed. Sirius's hand was still on the small of her back.

He leaned down and whispered against her ear, "Curls are my favorite too." Hermione turned bright red when his index finger reached up and ghosted a light path down her spine. When she shivered, he chuckled, and she reined in her reaction to turn a glare up at him.

"Not now, Sirius," she hissed.

Andromeda gave them a knowing look when they took a seat at the small table in the kitchen, and Sirius stretched an arm along the back of her chair.

After they had all fixed their tea, and Ted had returned from taming Nymphadora, they all sit in silence at the table.

"I had a feeling you'd come to me," Andromeda said with a sigh. She looked tired. _Unbelievably _tired.

"It's about the cup," Hermione whispered. She took a sip of her tea, and Andromeda gave her a look that spoke of reluctance.

"I don't know what you think I could possibly do to aid you in that. My sister would never help me, and I have no way to access that vault."

Hermione set the cup down and wrung her hands out in front of her. "I have an idea," she whispered.

Sirius frowned and moved his hand to cover hers. "You don't sound very sure of yourself, Hermione."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and said, "Well, I never said it was a _good _idea."

He groaned, and Hermione turned back to Andromeda and Ted.

"I need a few strands of Bellatrix's hair."

Andromeda paled. Ted narrowed his eyes and asked nervously, "Why would you need that?"

When Hermione didn't answer, Andromeda pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a calming breath. "Polyjuice then?"

Hermione nodded nervously, and Sirius's hand tightened over hers.

Ted leaned towards his wife and whispered urgently. "You can't go to her, Dromeda. She'd kill you."

Andromeda's grey eyes landed on Hermione's and she said emotionlessly, "She would you know. Kill me, I mean."

The casual way she insisted that her own sister would murder her in cold blood just for being in her presence froze Hermione's blood. The Black family was a certifiable mystery that she never wanted to crack. Half of which were insane in their beliefs and willing to do anything to protect the bloodlines and the other half were insane enough to break away from them.

Andromeda might not be able to be in Bellatrix's presence without dire consequences, but Hermione knew someone who would be.

"Perhaps…" She chanced a glance at Sirius before turning back to the older witch, "Narcissa could help you with that."

Andromeda balked. "I haven't spoken to her since I married Ted."

Sirius cleared his throat. "I think Narcissa might be more willing to help you than you'd think."

Andromeda looked startled before turning to Hermione for confirmation. Hermione nodded reluctantly and said, "She helped us with the Diary."

"Why didn't you go to her first then?"

Hermione bristled at the memory of her and Narcissa Black's first interaction, and Sirius smirked. "Let's just say that my little witch didn't exactly get on with Narcissa when they met." Sirius wrapped a proud arm around her shoulder and pressed a smacking kiss to her forehead.

Hermione scowled at him, and Andromeda laughed. She pointed an accusatory finger between them.

"I had a feeling this would happen as well."

Hermione shifted nervously and furrowed her brows. Andromeda waved her off and gave her a hard look.

"I'll contact my sister."

Ted, despite his immediate insistence that his wife not get involved, gave Andromeda a proud look.

Hermione reached out and took one of her hands. "I don't want you to feel forced. I can figure out another way."

Andromeda shook her head.

"No. It's time I do my part."

* * *

Hermione walked down the aisle of the Hogwarts Express and sighed in relief when she saw the familiar redhead in their typical compartment at the back.

"Lily," her name came out of her mouth like a sigh of relief. She'd boarded the train ahead of the others in hopes of getting a few moments alone with her friend.

It wasn't until this ordeal that she realized how much of Harry's personality was in Lily. The witch smiled sadly up at Hermione and she forced herself to look into her watery green eyes.

"I don't blame you," Lily whispered. Hermione shut the compartment door behind her and took the seat in between Lily and the window. When she didn't say anything in response Lily insisted, "I _don't_. I was just angry and didn't understand how this could've happened."

Harry always did that. He could be explosive at first. Reactive. Once everything calmed and the mist cleared, he would be very pragmatic. Hermione grabbed her friend's hand and squeezed. They'd always said that Harry was a carbon copy of James, but Hermione had come to realize he was a wonderful mix of both.

"I'm sorry still," she whispered. Lily's head dropped to Hermione's shoulder. "I wish I had known better wards. Or maybe had an auror stationed. Or had the sense to put them in a safe house."

Lily sniffled next to her, and Hermione squeezed her eyes shut. "I didn't do any of those things either, Hermione."

She supposed, logically, that Lily was right. Lily had known just as much as Hermione when it came to the attack.

Hermione took a moment to collect herself before asking quietly, "How are Petunia and Vernon treating you?"

Lily laughed humorlessly, "They're wretched. Petunia pretends like I am not there at all, but Vernon spits and yells. I don't understand how Tuny could marry that _awful _man."

Hermione stopped herself from flinching at the nickname, and resisted quipping back that she could marry that awful man because she, herself was _awful_. Neither of those things would be productive in this situation.

"Maybe you can stay at Potter Manor this summer. James would certainly love that."

Hermione felt Lily stiffen next to her, and she smiled.

"I reckon he'd act like your own personal house elf if he thought it might urge you to fall in love with him."

There was a pause and then Lily whispered, "I suppose he's not as much as a toe-rag as I thought."

Hermione grinned.

"He has been quite lovely this past week actually. Did I tell you he owled me every hour on the dot? Mostly, cheesy pick-up lines that he must've found in Witch Weekly, but it helped things feel normal." She paused again before adding as an afterthought, "I didn't respond, of course."

"Oh, of course," Hermione added as she choked on her laughter.

* * *

Sirius forced the three other boys to wait outside the train until the last possible moment. Hermione told him that she needed to speak to Lily, so he'd held them off as long as he could.

As the rambunctious bunch made their way down to their compartment, they all surprisingly quieted when they saw that the two witches were curled against each other in the corner of the compartment, dead asleep.

James immediately snagged the seat next to Lily, and Sirius took the one across from Hermione. They kept their talk pretty quiet, but they didn't even need to because both girls seemed to _actually_ be sleeping like that dead.

Sirius tried desperately not to get caught staring at Hermione's slumbering face, but Remus caught him anyway.

Sirius glared at the werewolf when he gave him a knowing look.

"Oh, fuck off, Moony." He shoved him for good measure, and Remus just laughed at him.

"She's broken you, Pads."

* * *

Hermione stood before Professor Slughorn and channeled as much of old Hermione's swotty, suck-up personality as she could.

"Well, you see, Professor, I have been thinking about my future quite a bit lately."

"Have you now?" The Professor was bustling around in his inventory in front of her. Hermione stood straight.

"Yes, and I think I would like to take a Potions mastery into consideration." Slughorn straightened and turned an excited smile on her.

"Is that so?"

Hermione nodded with a false, bright smile. "Quite so!"

Slughorn laced his fingers in front his large belly and gave her an appraising look. "And what is it I can do for you?"

"I was just wondering if it was possible for me to spend some time outside of class brewing? There are a few potions that I would like to perfect."

Hermione had brewed Polyjuice before in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, but she didn't exactly fancy the idea of a repeat experience.

"I know under your tutelage I could go quite far with Potions. I just would like to put in some extra work."

Slughorn peacocked at the compliment, and nodded thoughtfully. "Well, that's just an excellent idea, Miss Granger. I have another student who shows an interest in Potions that comes in on Friday evenings. Perhaps, you can come then as well?"

"Oh, perfect! Thank you sir!"

* * *

Hermione was speedily walking through the corridors to find Sirius to tell him the good news when she ran headlong into Peter. Peter landed hard on his arse, and Hermione dropped her bag, sending all her books flying across the corridor.

"Oh, Peter! So sorry!" She dropped to her knees.

"Watch it," he growled out, and Hermione froze in gathering her books. She looked at the boy as he angrily shoved his stuff back in his bag. Something was clearly wrong. He was sweating way more than was healthy for this drafty castle, and his eyes were darting around like he was expecting an attack at any moment. His health seemed to be declining as well. He'd gained weight, but his eyes were sunken into his skull.

"Peter?" She asked nervously.

He flinched at her voice and jumped to his feet. When it became evident to him that the coast was clear he rubbed a hand anxiously across his forehead. He smiled down at her, but it looked more like a grimace.

"Sorry, Mione. Just a bit stressed," he squeaked.

Then he turned and disappeared down the corridor. Hermione flinched at the nickname and stared after his disappearing form. Peter was _never_ so careless with that nickname.

Hermione was still staring after him when a hand landed on her shoulder.

"Kitten, what on earth happened?"

She jumped before turning and giving Sirius a giant smile. Odd interaction with Peter pushed to the back of her mind.

"I just talked to Slughorn," she exclaimed happily as he bent down to help her with her fallen things.

He grinned at her, "I take it it went well?"

He helped her to her feet and she wrapped a hand around his elbow. "It went wonderfully. I can start brewing this Friday." She leaned her head against his arm as they started walking.

Sirius loved this affectionate side of her. She'd never kiss him in public, but small displays like this had become normal after the break. When giggling girls would walk past them, she would pull him even closer. She seemed to do it subconsciously, but Sirius would never dream of pulling away from her. He quite liked the way that even in the middle of an academic rant or riveting conversation, she would want to make it known that he was hers.

They walked into the Great Hall and took their customary seats across from James and Remus for dinner.

Halfway through the meal the evening owls came flying into the Great Hall, and one of them broke off to drop a letter in front of her. Hermione fed the Owl something from her plate, and flipped the pristine envelope over.

It was her name in simple script.

She opened the letter and took a sip from the glass in front of her.

She choked on the water a second later when sitting inside the envelope was a clump of hair. She started coughing and quickly shut the envelope right as a second envelope dropped on her plate. Sirius started rubbing gentle circles on her back as Hermione seemed to be hacking up a lung.

James gave her a concerned look. "Alright there, sis?"

"Fine," she choked out.

She took a few soothing sips of water before opening the second envelope. On a plain piece of parchment was a beautifully written note.

_Hermione,_

_I do believe you owe me a great debt._

_NDB_

Sirius snorted over her shoulder, and she quickly tucked the note away.

"Just what I need," she grumbled.

* * *

That Friday evening Sirius followed Hermione down to the dungeons to start on the Polyjuice. They'd informed Regulus of their plan, and she had insisted he sit this one out. She was going to need him when it came to the Locket, but they didn't need to risk his position for this.

Once Hermione had set up, she immediately started brewing. Sirius sat on a table in front of her, and Hermione glanced around. She'd been working for nearly half an hour, and they were still alone in the room.

"He said something about another student that works here on Fridays," she said.

Sirius looked around before his eyes landed on hers with a mischievous glint. "Maybe they're taking today off."

He jumped off the table and walked around to her side. He stalked behind her, and dropped his hands to the tabletop on both sides of her hips. The cauldron was steaming off to her left.

She could feel his presence behind her, his body leaving barely a couple centimeters of air between her and him.

She spun to face him, and her hip brushed against him.

He groaned and leaned forward. His tongue flicked against the shell of her ear and he whispered, "I love it when you brew. Your hair goes wild, it's so hot."

Hermione's breath got caught in her throat, and he smiled against her skin.

"Sirius…" His lips ghosted across her cheek, and he kissed her heatedly. Hermione made a noise that sounded embarrassingly like a whimper. His body was still hovering away from hers, and she pressed her own hands to the edge of the table to stop herself from molding her body to his. When he finally pulled away she said breathlessly, "Stop distracting me."

Sirius smirked against her skin and leaned the rest of the way forward. She could feel his arousal pressed against her hip, "But I'm so good at it, Hermione."

His hands pushed the ingredients to the side that were directly behind her before going to her waist. His eyes never left hers as his hands trailed down the sides of her body until they reached the back of her thighs.

She gasped when he lifted her up onto the table before pushing her legs to wrap around him.

"Sirius!" She protested, but his lips were back on hers, and his hands were pulling her body impossibly closer to his. She couldn't help the small gasps at the friction as her school skirt rode up to the top of her thighs.

They hadn't done anything this intense in the month since they'd started whatever kind of relationship this was.

Hermione could feel her mind getting lost in the haze that was Sirius.

When his lips started trailing down to her throat, and he pulled the first few buttons undone of her blouse, she finally started to react of her own volition.

Sirius had sat back and watched her in front of her cauldron as long as he could. He wasn't particularly good at holding himself back when it came to her. She'd just looked so irresistible with her rolled up sleeves and flushed face. He'd watched with unguarded interest as he hair had started to expand with every minute she spent working.

He'd imagined her in this position. On a table with her perfect legs wrapped around him, and her breasts pressed to his chest. It was _nothing _compared to the real thing.

Her protests were slowly fading until eventually she'd tightened her legs around him, and her hands had made their way surely to the buttons of his own shirt.

He stopped suckling on her collarbone long enough to say smugly, "Trying to get me naked, kitten?"

His witch surprised him when she licked a trail up the column of his neck to whisper in his ear, "I'm always trying to get you naked, Sirius."

He groaned against her, and realized that maybe this wasn't the greatest idea. She smelled so good, looked so good, and tasted _so _good, that he knew he wouldn't have enough restraint to stop if they kept going. And he _refused_ for his first time with Hermione to be on top of a table in the Potions classroom. His second or third time maybe. But _not _the first.

He pulled away and placed a hand over Hermione's to stall her progress.

"Kitten," he moaned. He opened his eyes and watched as her large brown eyes blinked up at him. Her pupils were dilated, and her cheeks were flushed. He glanced down and saw that she had a baby blue lace bra peeking out from the undone buttons. He closed his eyes again.

"Sirius?" She urged.

He leaned his forehead forward to rest on hers and kissed her softly.

He hated himself when he whispered, "We should stop."

There was a quiet rustling, and her ankles uncrossed from behind him and dropped back to his sides. He opened his eyes and watched as her eyes cleared, but her blush remained.

"I don't want to have sex with you on top of a table for the first time."

Hermione rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her breasts. His eyes darted down and he groaned again. His fingers went to do her buttons back up as she said matter-of-factly, "It's hardly my first time, Sirius. Remus and I-"

Sirius gave her a warning look, and she snapped her mouth shut.

"Right. Sorry."

Right as he was doing up the first one a decidedly greasy boy floated into the room and stopped at the sight of them. He glanced between the two of them, and his lip curled in disgust. Hermione distinctly realized that she was in his direct line of vision, and his eyes darted down to her halfway undone shirt.

"Eyes off my witch, Snivellus," Sirius growled. Hermione went to cover herself, but Sirius stepped in between her and Snape so that she was blocked.

"As if I'd ever want to lay my eyes on the filthy-"

"Don't you dare," Sirius interrupted in the most menacing tone she'd ever heard from him.

"-Gryffindor," Snape finished with a sneer, but Hermione could see a faint blush on his cheeks.

Sirius looked like he was going to argue, but instead Hermione jumped down and tangled her fingers in the back of his shirt.

"Just leave it, Sirius."

Sirius glared at Snape as he went to the table furthest away from them and began to set up his own cauldron without much fanfare. Sirius turned around and did up both of their shirts before pressing kisses to her cheeks.

Hermione spent the rest of the evening brewing and trying to ignore the dark moods of both Sirius and Snape. She should've known he would be the other student.

* * *

**AN: I couldn't think of a smoother way to end this chapter, so here we are.**

**I quite like this chapter actually.**

**Thank you guys so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I truly can't believe this story has almost 450 followers. That's crazy! And your reviews are always so kind. Thank you so much. I couldn't tell you how much it means!**


	33. Falling

**AN: Hello, my friends. I just had another idea for a Sirimione fic, so you definitely haven't seen the end of me yet;) Sirimione is clearly my favorite, but I also have an idea for a Fremione so we'll see if that happens (it will).**

**Review that made me laugh: "Well that fucking sucked ass balls" **

**I laughed so hard. I love it. It was a reaction to Remus and Hermione's break up and I think that accurately portrayed the entire chapter HAHA**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Falling**

Hermione and Sirius had decided to wait until February to go after cup. The Saturday they decided to go on was, so it happens, Valentine's day. Hermione chose it logically because all of their friends wouldn't question their absence, but Sirius liked to joke that she chose it because it was the most fitting date for the pair.

Right before dawn broke, Hermione snuck down to the Common Room and waited for Sirius in front of the fire. The idea of spending any amount of time in Bellatrix's body made her squeamish at best. At worst it made her panic. She had spent nearly the entire night trying desperately to squash the anxiety she felt building in her ribcage. It was like a pressing weight coming at her from all sides.

The fact of the matter was that she didn't want to. She didn't want to break into the impenetrable bank. She didn't want to drink Polyjuice. She didn't want to masquerade as the deranged witch who tortured her for sport. And she didn't want to make jokes about spending her first Valentine's day with Sirius as his psychotic cousin searching for Voldemort's soul, no matter how much she hated the holiday. She didn't want to, but she didn't have a choice.

That was the thing that was really weighing on her. She didn't have a choice. Not really. She could abandon the cause and force the job on someone else, but that would go against all of her morals. She would sacrifice nearly everything except her own moral code.

Arms wrapped around her from behind, and Sirius's chin dropped to her shoulder. He wrapped her up so tight, she couldn't move, as if he'd known about her impending panic attack. He probably had.

He held her in silence as she calmed her breathing.

She could do it.

With Sirius there, she could do it.

"Don't forget its me in here, Sirius. When I'm _her_," she whispered. He sighed and she felt the puff of air push a few of her loose, short curls across her cheeks.

"I won't. Promise."

She nodded slowly. Her fingers tightened on his forearm, and she nodded again. "Alright. I'm ready."

* * *

Hermione had set up a time with Interim Headmaster McGonnagal to use the floo in her office to get to Diagon Alley. She was waiting for them at her desk when they showed. The first rays of sunlight were filtering in through the windows, and Hermione saw that a portrait of Dumbledore had been put up. She paused with her eyes locked on his for a moment.

Hogwarts was different without him. There was no inspiring speech at the back to school feast, and the students were more fearful. More solemn. It was like the drafts were draftier. The darkness was darker.

"Be safe, Mister Black and Miss Granger," McGonnagal's voice was creaky and full of warning. Hermione turned wide eyes on her Professor and nodded curtly, but Sirius had other plans.

He stepped forward and bowed dramatically.

"I will slay the dragon and return to you post haste, Minnie Dear."

McGonnagal scowled and said crisply, "Perhaps, you made a mistake in telling this one, dear child."

Hermione rolled her eyes and thumped Sirius on the head. "He's not always like this," she mumbled.

Hermione put her black cloak on and put the hood up. She had a flask of the Polyjuice tucked into the inside pocket, and she patted it to be sure it was there. She was wearing an outfit she'd transfigured the night before that suited Bellatrix's style. She had the heeled, laced boots, and corseted black dress. It was awful and too big, but she knew with Bellatrix's frame, she would fill it out close to bursting. She wanted to vomit.

Before she could have another panic attack, she laced her fingers with Sirius's and pulled him to the floo.

Before she left she turned to McGonnagal and said, "Remember, if we aren't back by nightfall, something has gone wrong. Ask Remus or Lily for a journal if necessary. They'll know what to do."

Hermione had added charms to the copied journals she had given them in fifth year that updated them as she wrote in hers. She made sure to add the location of the Horcruxes and Fangs before she left this morning, so that they could continue on should something go wrong. She knew if she were dead or captured they would glow blue, but if Sirius and Hermione were fine, they would remain unaffected and unable to open.

McGonnagal looked like she wanted to protest, but instead just nodded in understanding.

* * *

Hermione was in an alley with Sirius holding the flask in between her shaking fingers. She'd told Sirius everything about her plan, save the final part. She knew went they went through Thief's Downfall that her Polyjuice would be rendered useless which is why she had prepared herself to use an Unforgivable.

She was going to have to Imperius the Goblin to make it to the vault. And then there was the whole escape thing which she couldn't even bring herself to think about.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she downed a gulp of the Polyjuice and coughed at the taste.

Seconds later, that uncomfortable feeling of the change left her shaking and gasping.

Sirius laid a hand on her shoulder to steady her, but when she looked back up at him through his mad cousin's eyes he stumbled backwards. Seeing the wounded expression on Bellatrix's face did nothing to him until he remembered what Hermione had whispered in the Common Room.

_Don't forget it's me in here, Sirius. When I'm __her__._

He grabbed her shoulder again and whispered, "I'm sorry, kitten. Knee-jerk reaction."

She blinked up at him and said quietly, "It's okay."

She pulled the hood further over her head, and he pulled James's cloak over himself.

He squeezed her elbow, and she seemed to square her shoulders.

"Okay. I can do this," she mumbled.

Sirius's lips thinned and for the first time since they decided on this plan, he felt nerves clawing at him. "Yes you can," he finally replied.

The walk to Gringotts, he watched from behind as Hermione worked to perfect a walk that somewhat resembled Bellatrix's arrogant gait. He would've laughed at the mockery, but he was feeling too ill to really do much of anything.

Hermione sauntered up to the main desk and looked up at the Goblin there. He seemed to be ignoring her, so Hermione cleared her throat primly.

"Yes?" The Goblin grumbled.

"I need to get to my vault! Chop chop!" She thought maybe the chop chop hadn't been accurate enough, but something about her tone must've been right because the Goblin's head snapped up to stare at her. She masked her surprise carefully when the Goblin seemed to straighten and a flash of fear went through his eyes.

"Yes, my apologies, Madam Lestrange."

Hermione raised a single eyebrow and watched as another Goblin appeared. A whispered conversation happened between the two before the first turned back to her with a smile that looked more like a sneer.

"Snaglok will take you, Madam Lestrange."

Hermione humphed and followed the other Goblin without a word as he led her to the little cart. Hermione made a show of taking her time getting into the cart to be sure Sirius could jump in as well, and she was comforted when she felt his fingers on her elbow through the fabric.

She knew that security at Gringotts had increased dramatically at the start of the Second War following the break-in during her First year, but this just seemed too easy.

She tried to be the epitome of ease when the cart started its treacherous journey down the tracks. It was sickening and made her even more anxious than she was, but she did her best to keep her head as they grew closer and closer to the Thief's Downfall.

She could see it coming and she sucked in a breath as soon as she felt the rush of magic that cancelled out her Polyjuice. She pushed through the discomfort of the change and shoved her wand in Snaglok's face.

"Imperio!"

A blissful sheen seemed to take over Snaglok's face, and Hermione commanded him to continue their journey to the vault.

Sirius threw the cloak off of him as the air whipped around them and gave her a shocked look, that she dutifully ignored.

The cart finally rolled to a stop outside of Vault 713.

The Goblin seemed to float to the vault and placed his entire hand on the heavy iron door.

She could hear the roar and dragging of chains from a dragon, but she kept her eyes on the vault until it slid open.

"When we knock on the vault door, let us out. Do not leave until we knock."

When the vault door slid closed behind her, Sirius grabbed her elbow. Hermione threw her hood off and gave him a nervous look. "I know it's an Unforgivable, but I had to," she urged him to understand.

His hand went to her cheek. "Hermione," he whispered. She looked up at him and found him smiling. "I don't blame you. A little warning would have been nice."

Hermione smiled at him and squeezed his hand. After a second her expression grew serious. "Don't touch anything. They're probably all cursed against thieves."

She pulled away then and looked anxiously at all the items in the vault.

"This might take a while," she said unhappily.

* * *

It didn't take nearly as long as she expected. It was sitting on a shelf with many other cups, but it was obvious which one it was.

She called Sirius over and carefully levitated it down into the box that he was holding.

She released a sigh when he shut the box and looked back over at him.

"Getting out might be more difficult," she grumbled.

Sirius looked at her nervously. "Why's that?"

She paused in front of the door. "Well, we can hardly just reappear with an imperiused Goblin. We're going to have to obliviate him to make sure he doesn't remember being imperiused."

She twiddled her thumbs for a moment.

"Then how will we leave?"

Hermione shifted, and opened her expanded bag. When she pulled out a broom, Sirius grinned. "You're kidding," he said excitedly.

"Afraid not. I don't much like flying," she grumbled. Sirius's grin widened impossibly.

"Is this my Valentine's Day present, kitten?" She rolled her eyes at him before stepping closer to the door.

She knocked quickly and they waited as Snaglok opened the door with the same blissfully ignorant face.

She stunned him once the door swung shut and obliviated him.

"He should wake up and be very confused about what happened. He'll go back to the top and tell the rest of the Goblins that Bellatrix left when he was passed out. She's mad. They won't contact her because it was her own Vault."

"You're sure about this?" He asked nervously.

Hermione turned and looked at him. "I'm _hopeful_ about this."

Sirius sighed. "I suppose that's good enough for me."

She glared at the broom as Sirius mounted it and held a hand out for her. This had been last on her list of ideas, but she knew they'd never be able to operate the cart without the Goblin. And she knew waiting at the top of the tracks would be more Goblins. Going back up with him and having to perform the spells there would've been risky.

She sighed, and stepped a bit closer to the floating Sirius.

"Why don't you like flying?"

Hermione avoided his eyes and said carefully, "I suppose it's an irrational fear of mine."

Before she could protest he reached down and pulled her up to settle in front of him. His arms were wrapped around her to hold the broom, and she shuffled as closely to him as she could. Her knuckles were white from how tightly she was gripping his forearms.

"Just relax. Close your eyes, kitten."

She nodded after a moment, and he took off. Sirius didn't go easy on her that was for sure. He sped up through the vaults like it was a match and the exit was the snitch. She squeaked and squeezed him even tighter. She felt his chest rumble with laughter, and she could feel that queasy feeling in her stomach.

When they were close to the top, Hermione very nearly fell off the broom onto the tracks. She shushed Sirius and shoved the broom back into her bag. With one last glance at the place Sirius had been before he put the cloak back on, she downed another gulp of Polyjuice.

She was stopped almost immediately on her way out of the bank by the same Goblin from before.

"Where's Snaglok?"

Hermione looked down her nose at him and said, "Useless! All of you!"

Then she shoved past the Goblin and exited the bank as quickly as she could manage. Once they were back to the same alley as before Hermione caught her reflection in a dripping puddle on the stone ground. She paused and couldn't tear her eyes away.

She had that same feeling from before where it felt like her own body was turning against her. Her skin was crawling, and her heart was tightening painfully. Her nails went to her cheeks, and Sirius ripped her away from the puddle.

"Stop that! What are you doing!"

His hands went to pull hers away from her face, but it was like she was made of stone.

"Stop, you're hurting yourself!"

He abandoned trying to stop her and just pulled her so her back was pressed to his chest. She bucked and tried to get away from him, but he refused to let go. It was uncomfortable for him to be holding this body to him, but he could imagine whatever Hermione was feeling was way worse than discomfort. His hand that was wrapped around one of hers, felt something drip down his thumb.

He looked down and saw that she had dug her nails so hard into her cheek that she was bleeding.

"Hermione!"

Her own name broke through her walls, and Hermione eased her grip.

"I'm sorry…" She gasped. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh… Hermione, just breathe."

She collapsed in his arms and pressed her nose into his hand. They both collapsed to the cobbles with Hermione in his lap. It was uncomfortable and his legs were getting wet, but he ignored all of that when she spoke again.

"I hate her," she sobbed. Her body shook against his, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Looking at her made it hard to be here for her, but with his eyes shut she still smelled like her. She still sounded like her. He hated Bellatrix too, he realized. Hated her for what she'd done to Hermione. Hated her for having his own family's blood running through her veins. He hated her for making his unbelievably strong witch melt into this.

"It's almost time, kitten," he whispered against her ear, and she shook against him again.

She continued to shake against him for an indeterminable amount of time until he felt her body shiver against him one last time and shrank, and he opened his eyes to his Hermione.

He kissed her on top of her head and held her tighter.

"It's over. She's gone."

Hermione's cries turned to those of relief when she felt the fabric hang loosely on her body, and her skin stopped feeling like it was crawling.

"I'm sorry," she said again unnecessarily. This position was much more comfortable with Hermione's small body than the older witch's. He held her tightly. She shouldn't be apologizing. Not for this.

"Never again," he whispered.

* * *

Before they left the alley Hermione had cancelled the transfiguration of her clothes. Leaving her in non-descript denims and Remus's jumper. She didn't know if it was bad to find so much comfort in her ex-boyfriend's jumper, but Sirius didn't seem to mind. She was sure he would prefer her in his, but he was kind enough to never say anything about it. When they popped out of the floo in McGonnagal's office, she masked her relief with a snide comment about the two tracking ash onto her pristine floors.

The light filtering through the windows suggested it was just past mid-afternoon.

Sirius led her out after confirming a successful trip, and he walked with her carefully tucked under his arm all the way down to the kitchens. He asked the elf's for a Sirius special before sitting down on one of the wooden chairs in the back that the elves kept for students, but not before he transfigured it into a comfortable armchair. Hermione shuffled to sit on the chair across from him, but he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down into his lap.

"Don't you know better by now? This is where you belong," he said smugly.

"I don't belong to you, Sirius," she mumbled half-heartedly as she simultaneously snuggled deeper into his embrace. He resisted an amused smile.

"No not _to_ me. _With _me, kitten."

She harrumphed.

He added, "How dare you assume I see women as property!"

She laughed for the first time that day, and it made that warm feeling that was wholly Hermione spread through his chest.

"Says the guy who calls me _his _witch to anyone who will listen to him." She said this indignantly, but an odd sort of emotion coursed through her every time he did it. He said it with such pride and happiness that she couldn't find it in her to truly protest. Despite how much she hated the idea of a sentient being belonging to anyone.

"I thought you liked that," he teased.

She hesitated before sighing and letting her body fully relax into his. "I suppose I do belong to you," she whispered. His heart was thumping painfully, especially when she added, "but only because you belong to me also."

Luckily, the elves started shoveling treys full of food onto the table in front of them, and Hermione watched with wide eyes.

"_This _is the Sirius special?"

Sirius grinned and shifted, so that they were sitting more upright. "One of everything," he said happily.

"Thank you so much, Gilly."

The elf squeaked and blinked owlishly at him. "Anything else, Mister Sirius?"

Sirius actually winked at the elf before saying, "No this is perfect, as usual."

The elf squeaked again before shuffling away as fast as its little legs could carry her.

"Such a charmer," Hermione mumbled.

He kissed her jaw and reached for a small sandwich.

"I suggest eating as much of this as possible. The elves get offended when we don't finish."

Hermione assumed by we he meant him and the other Marauders, and if that were so, there was no _way _her and Sirius would be able to finish.

"Sirius! This is way too much food!"

"Mistress is not pleased?" A small voice spoke up from next to her. She spun and watched as a small cup of hot chocolate was placed in front of her.

"No! I mean… yes! This is perfect. Thank you," she trailed off by the end and turned a glare on Sirius.

Hermione ate as much as she could, much to the amusement of Sirius, before he informed her that he was planning on packing up the rest for James, Remus, and Peter.

Walking back up to the Common Room Sirius handed Remus the basket of food that the Elves had prepared.

"Have fun?" James said from the sofa. "You left pretty early this morning."

Sirius watched as Hermione disappeared into her room before turning a grin on James. "Your sister is a marvel, Prongs."

James turned bright red and narrowed his eyes at Sirius. It was then that Sirius noticed the witch asleep on his friends shoulder. "Did _you _have fun?"

James's expression turned a different kind of red, and he smiled bashfully at the sleeping red-head. He put a hand up to his mouth and whispered covertly, "I think she's warming up to me, Pads."

Sirius smiled genuinely. He wished so badly that he could tell James that one day Lily would answer one of his ridiculous proposals with a yes, but he _promised_ Hermione. And he longed to never make Hermione a promise he couldn't keep. He instead saluted his friend and started to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going!" James protested.

Sirius winked and said cheekily, "To warm Hermione up to me!"

Remus snorted, and James gasped dramatically.

He laughed before following Hermione's path to her room, ignoring the warning glares of James.

Hermione had taken off the jeans and was laying on top of her covers in the jumper that was more like a dress on her. He smiled at her burgundy painted toe-nails and took a moment to stare at her pained expression. The weight of today's events clear on her face despite the brief reprieve that came from their early dinner.

The bed dipped when he sat on the edge. Her eyes blinked open, and she looked up at him guiltily.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but I'm not really in the mood for Valentine's Day activities at the moment."

Sirius balked and narrowed his eyes. "If you'll remember correctly, I told you I wanted all of you. I think emotions was on that list."

She tucked her hands under her cheek and blushed prettily. "I'm sorry."

She looked so miserable laying there curled up like a child with red rimmed eyes and ruddy cheeks. He could tell her mind was working in overdrive from the wrinkles on her forehead and the way she was gnawing on her bottom lip. He brushed a knuckle against her brow and pulled her lip out from her teeth before saying, "You've apologized way too much today."

"I'm sor-"

He cut her off by leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. When he pulled away, he smiled sadly at her flushed appearance.

"You're doing it again," he chided.

She frowned, and he climbed over her to pull her back against him. The too large jumper fell down to reveal the pale expanse of her upper back, and he rested his lips against her shoulder blade.

He kissed across her shoulder blade before sighing against the soft skin there. "I'm just here to hold you, kitten."

There was silence before she whispered, "Until I fall asleep?"

He ran his thumb over her knit covered ribs reverently. "Until you wake up."

She seemed to relax at that. Her body sagged into the mattress, and he pulled her limp body closer to his.

He wondered what she might be like without the war. If he'd still feel this way about her. He supposed he would. These parts of her weren't the parts he'd fallen for.

_Fallen for_.

Now that was an odd concept.

* * *

**AN: SO will the issue with the Goblins resolve how Hermione expected? Or will there be problems? I know the answer, of course, but I like to make you sweat about it because I am evil. **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Honestly, love you guys for the support!**


	34. Thestrals

**AN: WOO sorry guys! Too many things happened to explain, but I'm back!**

**Bit of a fluff, filler chapter, but necessary for the development of their relationship. **

**ALSO I know it's a bit confusing as far as the timeline of their future is, but just assume that everything is essentially the same, just much more accelerated, and much more brutal so to speak. **

**Thanks for your patience in this long absence (well long for me).**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Thestrals**

Sirius stayed up long after Hermione had calmed in his arms.

He thought he might be going just a little mad. They'd been together for barely a month and a half and he was already half sure he was falling in love with the witch. She was brilliant and beautiful and _way _too good for him.

It scared him.

He'd never really told anyone he'd loved them before. He sure as hell had never said it to anyone in his family, and, though he loved his friends, he never truly told them.

He didn't know how long he'd been having this internal monologue before she rolled over in his arms, and he got a mouthful of her riotous curls.

"Sirius…" She mumbled and pushed herself up so that her chin was resting on his chest.

She blinked up at him owlishly, and he couldn't stop the adoring smile that came to his face. Her skin was flushed in a way that only happened after she woke up from a deep sleep. It made the small amount of freckles stand out across her nose, and Sirius found himself having more patience than he'd ever had before as he tried to count them. He was drawn away from it when she spoke again.

"Have I been asleep long?" She asked through a yawn. He reached up and ran a thumb along her pink cheekbone.

"I honestly don't know, kitten," he whispered.

Hermione studied his face for a moment before checking the watch she hadn't taken off since the Prewett's got it for her. When she looked back up at him through her lashes, her face had turned an even deeper red.

Sirius released her cheek to latch onto her wrist and pull it in front of his face. He smiled fondly at all the hands. Dorea, Charlus, and James were on there when she'd gotten it, but it seemed like she'd added a few hands. Remus, Lily, Regulus, and himself. He didn't know how she could even really see anything with the small watch face, but it was Hermione, and asking Hermione to pick someone to not care about in this way was like asking James Potter to get over Lily Evans. Completely and totally impossible.

He kissed her just below where the watch fell, and his eyes flickered back up to her.

"What are you blushing about?"

She gave him something akin to a wicked smile and said quietly, "It's still Valentine's Day." His gaze darted back to the time, and he grinned. Her comment from that afternoon came back to him in a flash of teenage hormones.

_I'm not really in the mood for Valentine's Day Activities at the moment._

"Only an hour left." He flipped her so that he was hovering above her. He matched her expression and leaned down so that his lips were brushing against the shell of her ear when he whispered. "Are you in the mood _now_, kitten?"

Hermione's skin broke out in goosebumps, and she surprised herself when she realized she was nervous.

Hermione gasped when he started brushing featherlight kisses down her neck beneath her ear. It was completely different with Sirius than it had been with Remus. With Remus there had been no pressure. They were each other's first _everything_ essentially.

Hermione's fingers tangled in his hair as she stared at the deep red canopy above her bed.

How many girls had Sirius been with?

He pushed his nose against the hollow of her throat. "I can hear you thinking."

Hermione swallowed deeply and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't like the mystery of Sirius's sexual history. She liked to know things even if it hurt more and made things awkward.

Sirius pulled away to stare down at her. He frowned at her lost expression and lifted a hand to push her curls away from her face.

"If you aren't ready, we can wait," he reassured. He didn't like it, that was for sure. Sirius Black wasn't one to have to wait, but for her, he'd wait as long as she needed to.

That didn't stop his sigh of relief when she shook her head and whispered, "No it's not that."

She blinked her eyes open, and her fingers tangled with his over her cheek. "Then what is it that has your brain working so fast?"

In a moment of brash honesty, Hermione stared directly into his eyes and asked quietly, "How many girls have you been with, Sirius?"

She studied his expression as it went through a range of emotions. Shock. Amusement. Confusion. Concern. His voice was thick when he asked, "Why do you want to know that?"

She couldn't force herself to break eye-contact when she answered her own question. "I've only ever been with Remus. He was my first everything." She paused before adding, "Although you stole a kiss somewhere in there too."

He smiled then, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "If we don't tell them that means it meant something," he whispered her words back to her from that night.

"I never told," she said so lowly he could barely hear.

He felt a little gross for how happy the thought that she'd kept that moment to herself made him, but then her original question came back to the forefront. He didn't say anything and instead dropped his forehead to rest against hers.

"I just… I need to know, Sirius."

He sighed in exasperation and rolled off of her. "But why do you need to know _that_?"

She rolled her eyes at his petulant tone and propped herself up on one elbow. She screwed her face up in thought, "I guess… I just need to know." She shrugged. Sirius groaned and sat up fully. He ran a hand down his face and looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Do I have to?"

His reluctance to tell her did nothing to ease her nerves. She sat up to match his posture and started picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jumper.

"Why won't you tell me?" She tried to keep her annoyance out of her voice, but it was hard. When he didn't respond, she started to ramble. "I just feel like I should know. I don't know if this is some weird insecure thing, or if I just feel like I should know because that's a normal conversation that people in a relationship have. I mean, I've always known you were more experienced than me…"

Hermione kept talking, but Sirius had zoned out after that bit about the relationship. _Relationship_. That was a first for him. Sirius may be more experienced than her when it came to sexual relations, but Hermione had more experience on the emotional end. To him the emotional part was more scary. It became clear then that he was in over his head. _Way _over his head.

He jumped to his feet, and Hermione took a few seconds to realize he was backing towards the door. Her words slowly died out.

"Where are you going?" This time the frustration in her voice was more than evident. She jumped up to her knees on the bed and crawled to the edge.

Sirius pointed towards the door, and his mouth opened and closed just a few times before putting his hand on the door and spitting out the first excuse that came to mind.

"I forgot Prongs and I have this prank that needs to be finished up tonight. I'll um…" He trailed off and glanced at her through his fringe of hair. She looked angry, but as soon as he turned the knob on the door her expression dissolved into one that hurt to look at so he turned away. He'd hurt her. He could see that now. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," he rushed out before opening the door and stepping through quickly.

As soon as it shut behind him he ran up to his own dorm and slammed the door open.

The three guys were sitting on the ground playing exploding snap, and Sirius ran in and kicked the cards out of Peter's hands.

"I have a problem," he grumbled.

Remus without missing a beat, set his cards down and said, "And which one of your problems are we talking about?"

Sirius growled and collapsed on the ground. "The one where kitten wants to know my entire sexual history."

Remus snorted, and James threw his own cards at Sirius, "Don't call her kitten when I'm in the room."

Sirius frowned in confusion. "I've been calling her that for almost two years now, Prongs."

"Yes, well in this context, I don't like it."

Peter was shoveling Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans in his mouth when he asked, "But why would she want to know that?"

Sirius threw his hands in the air, "That's what _I_ asked!"

Remus rolled his eyes, and James looked disgusted.

"Please tell me you didn't actually ask her that," James mumbled.

Sirius frowned. "Why not?"

"_Because…"_ Remus drawled, "Now she's going to be laying in bed wondering why you wouldn't tell her. Then she's going to draw conclusions. Then she's going to go talk to your _dear _friends Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon which will undoubtedly lead to a detailed list of all your other _dear _friends."

Sirius's eyes widened and he paled dramatically. "No…" He denied.

"Dear friends?" Peter asked right before he opened his mouth and out dropped a half chewed vomit flavored bean that landed on James's calf.

"Ugh! Pete! What the fuck!"

"Sorry," he mumbled before pinching it between his fingers and throwing it towards the corner of their room. All three boys stared at their friend in disgust before getting back on topic. Remus and James were suddenly very amused by the situation.

"Pads, buddy, you're screwed," exclaimed James.

"Yeah you mucked it up," added Remus.

"Royally."

"Before you know it, she's going to march her tiny self right up to you and throw a list of all your dirtiest secrets in your face," Remus sounded way too happy about this.

"Like taking Bertha Claypoole's virginity on Minnie's desk," James pounded a hand on his back at this one.

"Or how Violet Edgecombe sucked you off in Mione's precious Ancient Runes section of the library."

"What about that one Puff guy you fooled around with?" James questioned.

"Oh yeah, Lucas was it?"

"I was experimenting!" Sirius groaned from behind his hands.

Remus crossed his arms across his chest and stared down his friend. His amusement suddenly dissolved. _Sure_, he was over Hermione. He was happy that _she_ was happy even if that was with Sirius. But he'd meant it when he said he'd always love her, so the fact that Sirius had potentially mucked it up and hurt her didn't rest easy with him.

"She's not an experiment to you, right, Sirius?"

The three other guys paused at Remus's tone. They could hear the barely concealed anger in his voice. His eyes were flashing between green and amber in a way that had Sirius straightening, and Peter shuffling slowly from the circle.

"No. _No_," said Sirius. His hand went up and touched the dragon pendant that he hadn't taken off since the Christmas she'd gotten it for him. "She's _not _an experiment, Moony. She's…" He paused and averted his eyes before looking up and saying, "I mean, she's-"

"Everything," Remus interrupted.

Sirius eyed his friend. "Yeah…" He ran his hand through her hair in frustration. He needed to talk to someone about what he'd been thinking earlier. "I think I… Well I…"

James smirked knowingly and punched him in the arm. "Go on, dear Padfoot. You what?"

He groaned and said, "Well I think I…" The words kept getting caught in his throat. If he couldn't even say it to them, how would he ever say it to Hermione? He looked at James and said, "Well I think she's my Lily."

Peter gawked and James grinned, but Remus still looked skeptical. "You love her?" The werewolf asked incredulously.

James threw his fists in the air and actually _cheered _while Peter continued to gawk like he simply couldn't believe it.

Sirius jerked his head up in what could be considered a nod before continuing before any of his friends could tease him anymore. "And I'm scared if she knows about that bloody list, she won't want to be with me. She's only ever been with you, Moony, and I have been with way more than just one angel." Sirius pointed his thumb towards Remus at the word angel.

Remus balked, "I am _not _an angel."

James actually giggled, and Sirius waved a dismissive hand, "Doesn't matter. Point is, I couldn't answer when she asked me because I was too freaked out, so instead I left her sitting there on the bed in Remus's old jumper, staring up at me with those big, brown, _hurt _eyes."

Remus seemed to recover from his temporary bout of questionable masculine prowess at that. "She wears my jumper?"

Sirius waved his hand again. "Yes, the tan one. It comforts her when she's sad."

Remus warmed and smiled wanly, "It does?"

"Shut up, Moony! Not the point!"

Remus shook himself. "Right. Of course. On to much more important things. Like how we're going unmuck Sirius's muck up." He clapped his hands together. "Easy." He looked Sirius in the eyes and said matter-of-factly, "You just need to tell her before anyone else can."

Sirius groaned and mumbled. "Oh, _yes_, so easy."

* * *

Hermione did a fine job of ignoring all four boys for the next few days. She would either spend her time in Hagrid's hut or hiding in the Room of Requirement with the intent of being alone. At meals she sat with Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene, and on a couple occasions, she even made her way to the Ravenclaw table to sit with Pandora.

Sirius made efforts, but they were all spurned when she would say something along the lines of, "Are you ready to tell me?"

He would end up sputtering like an idiot, and she would huff and disappear again. It was a game that the Marauders were all thoroughly enjoying spectating.

In Care of Magical Creatures on Wednesday she could be found clinging to Lily's side.

"Are you going to tell me?" The red-head asked carefully.

"Tell you what?" Hermione asked innocently.

Lily scoffed and mumbled, "Guess not."

Professor Kettleburn showed up then with an excited expression.

"Today's a good day, children!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "We will be doing a practical and meeting some good friends of mine."

Hermione's eyes darted to where the four boys were standing in the frost-covered grass maybe ten feet away. James was gesturing wildly between Sirius and Hermione and then pointing at another sixth year in the class. A Hufflepuff named Lucas. "What does he have to do with anything?" She whispered out loud, and Lily gave her an odd look.

Hermione's eyes darted back to the Professor when he asked a question that had her nerves coming to the surface.

"Has anybody heard of Thestrals?"

Hermione listened with rapt attention as other students began to answer the questions the professor asked.

"Can anybody in the class see them?"

Hermione was suddenly sputtering in indignant rage, "That's rather personal information!"

He looked at her with a mixture of shock and excitement. "Do you see them, Miss Granger? I can't see them myself, so this is rather exciting news!"

She paled and shouted in disbelief and neither denied nor confirmed the question of whether she personally could see them, "What about that is exciting?"

Her professor suddenly became socially aware and seemed to truly process what it meant that she could see them. "Oh right, so sorry!" He cleared his throat and asked, "Does anyone know what it means if you can see them?"

Hermione was seething now. An invasion. That's what this felt like. An invasion into everyone's personal lives. See which one of the students have personally witnessed a tragedy, so that _everyone_ knows. "It means you've seen someone die," she said through clenched teeth. She could feel all of the Hufflepuff's and Gryffindor's eyes on her when she added, "And you've accepted the reality of it."

"Quite right! Fifteen points to Gryffindor." Kettleburn's proud smile faltered when Hermione bared her teeth at him quite rabidly. He picked up a couple buckets of what looked like raw meat and gestured for the students to follow him.

"You've _got _to be kidding me," Hermione hissed.

As they started to walk, Hermione latched onto Lily's elbow in trepidation. Lily, ever the intuitive, squeezed Hermione's fingers. "It'll be okay, Hermione."

Hermione glanced behind her at the four boys as they entered the forest and met eyes with Sirius. He smiled at her in a way that had her forgetting their fight long enough to be comforted. She went to smile back, but she felt a tug from Lily's elbow, and she frowned instead.

Before she knew it, they were standing a few feet away from a complete herd of the foreboding creatures. She glanced around and saw that nobody in her class quite knew where to look. Peter for some reason was staring at the sky.

Professor Kettleburn dropping the tin buckets on the ground had Hermione very nearly jumping out of her trainers.

"Miss Granger?"

Her head whipped around, and she looked at the bucket of bloody steaks incredulously. "Yes?" She answered nervously.

"Will you be a dear, and start the class out in feeding the animals?"

Hermione scowled and shook her head in immediate denial. Kettleburn gave her a smile that seemed vaguely patronizing.

"Don't be scared. They're rather gentle unless they sense that you might be an enemy."

The implication that she was scared had her stepping towards the buckets before she knew what she was doing. She didn't hesitate before grabbing a large, dripping piece of meat and stepping determinately closer to the Thestrals. Nearly all of them turned towards her at the smell of blood, and she straightened her spine.

"Steady on, Miss Granger!"

She turned and leveled a dark look on the man before turning back to look at the now approaching thestrals.

"Um… I'm going to need more than just this." She tried not to falter as multiple thestrals made their way to her.

Suddenly Sirius was standing next to her with the bucket and staring ahead blindly.

Hermione turned forward again and tossed the meat in the air when the first Thestral got close enough. A few people behind the two gasped when the steak was snatched from the air and swallowed nearly whole. Hermione took a step towards Sirius when the Thestral edged closer to her. Her none bloodied fingers gripped the edge of his cloak when the creature got close enough that she could feel the puffs of air coming from it's mouth.

"Sirius…" She whispered nervously.

"You're fine, kitten. Just breathe."

The air around felt grim and mournful. Someone had told her once that seeing Thestrals was an omen of death like a grim, and she'd responded loftily that if you could see one, then it obviously wasn't a very good omen because that meant that someone had already died. But she felt it now. She could see her own breath in front of her face in a way that had her chilled in a non-physical way. Her unoccupied hand reached out shakily and very slowly, placed her hand against the cold fur above the thestral's mouth. It huffed against her and nuzzled her hand, and she let out a woosh of air.

Her hand slipped down Sirius's arm before guiding his hand towards where hers was.

"Wow," he mumbled when his own hand was resting against the creature.

Hermione smiled up at him and waited until he'd had a chance to feed one of them before slowly guiding student after student, so that they'd all get their own chance. After everyone had their chance, Kettleburn took the now empty buckets and guided the rest of the class out of the forest.

Hermione found she didn't want to leave, and of course, the airy professor didn't notice when he left a couple students in the decidedly _forbidden_ forest. It was almost like there was a sick understanding between her and these animals, and she had a free period after this so it wasn't like it truly mattered.

"Kitten?"

Sirius sounded nervous and hesitant, and she decided she really didn't like the way that sounded coming from him. Her Sirius was meant to be arrogant and happy.

Hermione cleaned her hands with a simple spell and dropped down into the damp grass.

"I'm not mad at you," she said. She hesitated before adding, "I mean, not _really_."

Sirius dropped behind her and pulled a piece of parchment from the pocket of his cloak. Hermione watched out of the corner of her eye as he unfolded what appeared to be a long and detailed list.

There were a couple seconds of silence before he whispered, "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to screw things up. I didn't want you to find a reason to not be with me."

She reached out and covered one of his hands with hers. "What is that, Sirius?"

He gave a crooked sort of smile that looked more like a grimace and said unhappily, "This is everyone I have been with. It took a while to think of everyone." She raised her eyebrows at that, and he flinched. "I've not been a very good guy, Hermione. I've been with a lot of people, and I never really treated any of them like they mattered."

His thumb ran gently over her knuckles as Hermione frowned down at the list. It was as she'd expected when she'd asked about who he'd been with. He was _much _more experienced than she was.

"That's why I am so bad at this, and that's why I'm probably going to make a lot more mistakes than I already have. You're the first person that's mattered."

Hermione wanted to be the kind of person that said that she didn't need to see it, but she _did_.

She carefully reached out with her free hand to take the parchment.

It seemed as though he'd tried to write the list chronologically, and he did not leave out _any_ details.

"Oh, Merlin," she breathed, and Sirius dropped his forehead down to rest on their hands.

"I'm sorry," he groaned.

It started off simple. All random snogs with random witches, but then it turned into other things. Then it turned into sex, and she found her hand tightening on the parchment until her knuckles were white.

Suddenly James's gesturing to the Hufflepuff boy and how he purposely said people instead of girls made sense.

"How am I…" She gulped and pulled her hand from Sirius's to angrily push back her hair. He sat up then and stared at her. She wasn't angry at Sirius. She couldn't be because she knew that wouldn't be fair. "...supposed to…" She was angry at herself for the insecure thoughts flitting through her mind. Sirius had had sex with more witches (and a wizard) than she could count on her hands, and she'd only ever had sex with Remus. She just knew that if she had sex with him, she'd be wondering the whole time how she measured up compared to all these people.

"Hermione?" Sirius asked nervously. "What is it?"

Her entire face turned red, and she stared determinately at the stubble along his jaw. "I just… I don't understand how I'm supposed to compare. You've been with many more people than I have, and I don't know how I could possible... measure up."

Sirius's eyes widened, and he reached out to place his hands on both sides of her face. "I haven't been _comparing _you, kitten."

She rolled her eyes before looking into his grey ones. "Don't lie, Sirius. I've compared you to Remus."

Sirius's eyes widened, and he pulled away from her. "Well, how do _I_ measure up?"

She smirked and pantomimed zipping her lips. Her smiled dropped however when her eyes landed on the parchment again. She threw it in front of her and said quietly, "But I'm being serious."

He frowned at her, not even registering the possible joke. "Hermione, it's already better with you."

Her eyes landed on his again.

"It's better _because_ of how much you mean to me. You already stand out. I…"

He stopped himself and instead leaned forward and kissed her. It was soft and full of everything he wasn't quite ready to say, and he didn't pull away until he felt something nudge his side roughly.

When he looked there was nothing there, but he could hear the huffing of the Thestral.

He turned back to smile at the witch in front of him. "I don't think they like me very much."

Hermione adopted a rather solemn expression and reached out to pet something he couldn't see. "I actually rather like them."

Sirius reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He'll never forget her anger when the Professor asked the class who could see the Thestrals. His curiosity got the better of him when he asked quietly.

"Who?"

He didn't need to clarify the question because she always seemed to know what he was asking anyway.

She'd seen quite a few people die. People in battles. Snatchers on the run. But the first. She'd never forget the first.

"It was you," she whispered. "You were the first."

Sirius paled as he watched Hermione's eyes water. She was stroking the Thestral absent-mindedly, and he couldn't tell if she was staring at it or not. Judging from the far-off look in her eyes, she was somewhere else entirely.

"At the Department of Mysteries in the Death Chamber. Bellatrix stunned you while you were protecting Harry. I watched you fall through the Veil. Then Dumbledore died, and we went on the run." Her fingers were shaking, so Sirius took her hand in his and started to rub gentle circles. "I'll never forget the look on your face. Right before you fell through you still had that smile you wore when you were egging on Bellatrix. Then you just kind of floated away."

"I won't float away this time. We're going to kill him."

Hermione tore her eyes away and looked up at him. He was surprised when instead of voicing any kind of doubt she just nodded her head determinately and whispered, "I know."

* * *

**AN: Thank you for the endless support. We're so close to a resolution. I hope you are enjoying this story, and PLEASE let me know what you think.**

**Thanks, as always, for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**500 followers! How bizarre! Love you guys. **


	35. Just Clumsy

**AN: I think this is the last fic I'm going to write that has smut in it. I just feel like writing it isn't my strong suit:') It's a talent I don't possess unfortunately. **

**THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M FOR SEXUAL CONTENT (you've been warned)**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Just Clumsy**

Hermione was walking back to the Gryffindor Tower from the library late one night when somebody reached out and grabbed her elbow to pull her into an empty classroom. She'd On instinct, she lashed out and slammed her three textbooks in the abdomen of whoever it was.

"Bloody hell!" The person screamed.

Hermione froze and set her stuff down on the stone floor when she realized she recognized the voice.

"Regulus?"

"Yes, it's me! Merlin…" She spun around and watched as Regulus slowly straightened from his hunched over position and gave her a dark look. The room was bathed in the moonlight from the large windows, but that was the only source of light. It gave him an odd sort of ethereal glow.

"I'm so sorry!" She reached forward and grabbed his elbows. "Are you alright?" He glared at her.

"You are absolutely barmy, you know that?"

She pulled her arms back and scowled at him. "Well, don't ever grab me like that again, you prat!"

Hermione was still huffing nearly a minute later when Regulus gave her a scared look and ran a hand down his face. Hermione noticed then that Regulus somehow looked much older than he had at Christmas. It was nearing the end of April, yet he looked like he'd sprouted a couple inches, and for the first time since she met him, he had facial hair. He was definitely taller than Sirius and more lanky, but they were also clearly brothers.

"Pet, I've been trying to talk to you since February, but every time I get close fucking Potter shows up or Severus asks me what I'm up to. I've been using the coin, but you haven't been answering. Did you lose it or something? Or am I just not a priority to you anymore?"

If she didn't know him like she did, she'd just see anger. His tone was scathing, and his face was bright red. But she could see that hidden under all that frustration, he was hurt. "I'm sorry, Regulus," she apologized honestly.

"What if it was dire! What if he was after someone!"

Hermione paled and gripped her pendant, "Did something happen?"

Regulus stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders so tightly it hurt. "Hermione." Her eyes widened at the use of her full name and the slightly crazed look on his face. He shook her once and said, "He asked for Kreacher."

Her mouth dropped open before closing again slowly.

"He what?"

Regulus shook her again, "You heard me!"

Hermione shook her head, "No… but… when?"

"Right after you and my idiot brother broke into bloody Gringotts!"

Hermione shut her eyes. He must know then that someone had impersonated Bellatrix to break into that vault. He must know his other Horcruxes were gone, and he must be scrambling. She shook her head again and said, "What did you do?"

"I had to do it! Over Easter break he came for Kreacher, and when Kreacher returned he was fucking deranged and on the edge of death! I needed to talk to you, and you weren't answering the _fucking _coin!"

Hermione opened her eyes and said, "It's almost the end then. If he's placed that one, we'll be able to destroy all of them except the snake."

Regulus scoffed at her, took a few steps back, and started speaking to her with his back to her. "Look… We should wait until Summer Holiday, and we need to have a meeting with-"

Regulus's voice was cut off at the sound of a door creaking, and they both spun with their wands out.

"Who's there?" Regulus commanded.

After a few moments of tense silence Hermione wandered out and checked the dark corridor, but there was no one there.

She turned on Regulus then and hissed, "We didn't shut the door!"

Hermione could feel panic gripping at her, but Regulus looked like a pale statue.

"Regulus! We didn't shut the door!"

He looked like he was going to cry, so Hermione swallowed her own panic and grabbed onto his elbows.

"Okay, it's fine. It was probably a prefect doing rounds or there must have been a draft." The excuses sounded weak even to her own ears, but for some reason Regulus seemed to calm down after the fact.

A prefect would've taken points for being out past curfew, and there was no draft tonight. She couldn't even think about the possibility that someone might have heard everything that had been said.

Hermione pulled away and dusted off her robes. "Okay… Right. I promise I'll have the coin from now on. I'm so sorry," she insisted.

He gave her one last look and sighed. "I just want this to be over." He leaned down and whispered so that if anyone was standing in the doorway, they wouldn't hear, "I'm coming with you when you go after the locket, Hermione. I don't want Sirius there. I just… I don't want him involved this time. This is the whole reason you came to me, and we _have _to do this."

Hermione didn't like it, but she pulled back and nodded anyway. "He's going to know, but he won't come."

He sank into himself at that, and it almost quelled all the guilt she felt already at having to tell Sirius he couldn't come.

"It'll be alright, Regulus."

* * *

Remus had been forcing Sirius to study with him when Hermione flew through the portrait in a flurry of robes.

Both of their heads flew up at the rushed entrance, and they watched as Hermione completely ignored them and went to her room.

Remus turned to Sirius and said, "What was that about?"

Sirius shrugged and both of them jumped when her door flew open again. She shut it quietly behind her and came and stood in front of them. She was wearing Remus's jumper and James's old pajama pants. Both of those items of clothing were things she only pulled out when she was in need of comfort.

She stood in front of them tugging on her curls with one hand and yanking on the chain of her necklace with the other.

"Kitten," Sirius drawled.

She averted her eyes and said, "I don't want to talk about it."

Remus nodded in understanding, and Sirius frowned. She eyed the small spot in between them on the sofa before slowly crawling into it and burrowing into them so that her feet were tucked under Remus's thigh and her head was in Sirius's lap. She was curled into a tiny little ball and hugging herself tightly with her eyes shut.

Sirius's fingers automatically found her curls after he reached for one of her hands just to press a kiss to the back of it.

"It's almost over," she whispered.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other over the prone witch's form and Remus's hand landed on her ankle in support. His thumb rolling soft patterns into her calf.

_It was almost over_.

* * *

Sirius couldn't even think straight. He couldn't even think at _all_. Hermione was everywhere. Her smell, her hair, her legs, her everything.

She'd asked him to study with her in the Room of Requirement in between their classes because the library was too crowded as it was the end of term. Her being _Hermione_ he'd believed that she truly wanted to just study, but as soon as the door was shut she'd actually jumped on him. He'd dropped both their bags without hesitation, and now he found himself seated on the large sofa with Hermione straddling him and he couldn't _think. _

She was intoxicating.

She smelled like cinnamon and evergreens and something else that he could only really notice because of his animagus senses and recognized as her arousal. It was extremely heady and the most turned on he'd ever been which he was sure she had noticed by then.

She rocked against him, and he seriously thought he was going to finish early right there in his trousers. So embarrassing.

"We either have to stop now or do this thing because I'm losing it over here," he said in between nibbles on her ear.

Hermione rocked again, and he groaned against the column of her throat. She leaned back then and gave him an amused look.

"_Do _this thing?"

Hermione stood, and Sirius actually whimpered at the loss of her heat. She giggled, and he mock pouted at her.

"Oh, come on, kitten…" His words trailed off and eyes widened when instead of walking away she yanked down her trousers and climbed back on top of him. After a moment of stunned silence he whispered, "So wait... _are _we doing this thing?"

Hermione pulled away from sucking on the hollow of his throat and said in annoyance, "Sirius…"

With the loss of her trousers he was having even more trouble thinking straight, so what came out of his mouth definitely couldn't be considered actual words. He was Sirius Black, and he was having trouble speaking because a pretty witch was in his lap. How ridiculous.

"Stop talking," she moaned.

"No problem," he managed.

Then before he knew both their shirts were gone, he somehow managed to get his trousers off, and they were both sitting there in their knickers. He shifted and pushed so that she was laying on her back, and he paused above her.

They hadn't had sex yet, wasn't this moment supposed to be special?

"Hermione, don't you think…"

"Sirius!"

"Right."

He reached down and unclasped her bra. It was that same lace blue one that she'd worn in the Potion's classroom, and he realized when he glanced down that it was a matching set.

His fingers trailed down to the edge of her knickers, and he licked a path in between her breasts. Her fingernails were scraping down his back, and she pushed his boxers all the way down to his ankles. He kicked them down, and then all they had between the two of them were her skimpy blue knickers.

He decided to stop questioning it at that point (after all he'd never questioned having sex with someone before), and just let himself feel.

As soon as they'd separated, and he'd thrust into her though, he _had _to start thinking. Their first time may be a quickie in between classes, but he'd be _damned _if he reached the finish line before her. The image that finally did the trick was Peter spitting up the vomit flavored bean onto James's leg.

But then Hermione's bare ankle ran across his back to push into his skin at the base of his spine, and he knew he was close.

"Hermione…" he moaned against her neck.

"I'm so close," she mumbled, but it was mostly incoherent.

A few thrusts later, they finished together, and Sirius collapsed beside her. He was smug when he thought about how right he'd been when he'd said it'd be better with her because of how much she meant. It had been better. _Way _better.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her side against his chest. He pressed three kisses along her collarbone and said in a husky and breathless voice, "Why in the hell did we wait so long?"

She looked beautiful when she smiled up at him. Her face was flushed, and she was blinking up at him with half-lidded, bleary eyes. "Probably because James has been watching me like a hawk ever since you told him I wouldn't have sex with you until you gave me a list of your sexual history."

She bit her lip to hold in a laugh when Sirius groaned and dropped his forehead to her temple.

"I promise I will never go to Prongs for advice on our relationship ever again."

She blinked, and he felt her eyelashes brush against the tops of his cheeks. She was still nibbling at her bottom lip when her expression grew nervous.

"Sirius?" He reached up and tucked one of her wild curls behind her ear.

"What is it, kitten?"

She reached up and framed one side of his face with her small hand. He watched as she studied his face for a moment before meeting his eyes with an expression he'd never seen before. She had this warm and content look and she was smiling at him like he'd solved world hunger. Like he was some big hero. _Her _big hero.

Her thumb ran up and down his skin and he actually shivered at the tenderness. Sirius didn't do tender, but with her it was very nearly magical.

"I love you," she whispered.

He froze up.

He knew how he should respond. He knew how he _wanted _to respond. He wanted to say it back, but it was just like a couple months ago when he'd tried to say it to James, Remus, and Peter. The words were frozen in his throat, and hearing her say it made him feel something he was completely unfamiliar with.

_Sure_, girls had said it to him, but none of them had really known him like she knew him. None of them could possibly love him for who he was, but Hermione _did._

"I-" He started, but his voice was weak. Her hand moved so that a couple of her fingers were pressed over his lips, and her eyes fluttered shut.

"It's okay, Sirius. When you're ready, you can say it."

She kissed his cheek chastely and pulled from his arms.

"We have to get to class," She said dismissively. He watched as she located her knickers and bra.

She cursed when she had to stretch her arms to reach the clasp of her bra, and still couldn't do it. He jumped up and pulled on his boxers before stepping up to her and pulling it clasped for her. His fingers lingered on her spine, and she shivered. He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his mouth against the top of her curls.

"I do, you know," he whispered.

She leaned back and his fingertips ghosted across her ribs to pull her even closer.

"I don't want you to just reassure me, Sirius." She turned slowly in his arms and gave him a sad little smile. "I want you to actually mean it."

He leaned down and kissed her slowly. When he pulled away, he forced the words out that made him feel even more naked than he'd been just a couple minutes ago. "I've never said it before. Not _really_. I want to say it, Hermione. I would _mean it._"

Her eyes looked watery when, and he used his thumb to stop the couple of tears before they could fall down her cheeks. "Okay," she murmured. She leaned up to press a short kiss to his lips before dropping one against his jaw.

She stepped back and gave him a pleasant sort of smile as she looked him up and down.

"Well, you can't very well go to class like that, Sirius."

He sighed in relief before looking at her and groaning.

"I need you to get dressed, kitten. Otherwise, we won't be making it to Defense."

She either forgot that she was very nearly naked, or she knew _exactly _what she was doing when she crossed her arms under her breasts and popped her hip to the side.

"Let's get this straight right now, Padfoot. I will _never _blow off a class to have sex with you."

His eyes were on her chest when he said, "That sounds like a challenge." He didn't even want to dwell on what her calling him his Marauder's name did to him.

* * *

Hermione woke up the next morning bleary eyed and starving. She'd barely slept the night before with thoughts of the two Black brothers on her mind. One incapable of telling people he loves them, and the other losing his mind one day at a time under the thumb of Voldemort.

She'd normally wait for everyone else to wake up before going to breakfast, but she found she didn't have the patience today. It was too early for breakfast, so she conceded with herself to just go to the kitchens. She got dressed in simple denims and a cream jumper seeing as it was Saturday, and left her room without even brushing her hair. Her mind was on Regulus and their meeting a few weeks ago. A heavy frown marred her expression.

As soon as her feet hit the steps outside her room, she tripped over seemingly nothing and was falling straight down the stairs. She managed to whack her nose on the rail, and she heard a sickening crack. She squealed as she fell and a string of curses flew from her mouth when she landed hard on her hands and knees.

Her hand went to cover her now bleeding profusely nose, and she blinked as her eyes watered.

"Hermione!"

She looked up and pressed the sleeve of her jumper under her nose, "Peter?"

Peter dropped to his knees in front of her and held out a handkerchief.

"What did I trip over?" She asked in confusion. She may have been distracted, but looking back up, she could see there was nothing sitting outside her door.

"You're own feet I guess," Peter mumbled.

Hermione studied him at that. He looked guilty and nervous, and he was sweating profusely despite the chill in the room. Hermione was a lot of things, but she wasn't clumsy.

She was drawn from her thoughts when Peter shook the handkerchief in front of her face.

"You're ruining your jumper," he insisted.

She wiped at her eyes with her clean hand and took the handkerchief to hold it to her nose. "Thanks," she mumbled. "I think it's broken. I need to go see Madame Pomfrey."

"Oh! Yes, I'll walk you."

"No… that's quite alright I-"

"I insist!"

Hermione eyed him nervously. "Alright…"

The entire walk to the Hospital Wing, Hermione was eyeing Peter out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to be having some kind of internal debate with himself, and he was losing on both ends. A feat only Peter Pettigrew could be capable of. He was wringing his hands in front of him, and his eyes were darting around like mad like he thought there might be someone lurking behind every tapestry or in every alcove.

When they finally did make it Peter lingered like a very uncomfortable spirit about ten paces from her bed. She'd placed the bloodied handkerchief beside her on the bed and as soon as her fingers left it, Peter's eyes had landed on it.

After the pain of Pomfrey fixing her nose faded, she allowed the mediwitch to push her back on the bed with the demand that she catch a couple more hours of sleep.

Once Pomfrey had bustled away Peter stepped up to her and said, "Do you want me to wait until you fall asleep.

Hermione fought the urge to cringe and shook her head carefully. "No that's quite alright, Peter. Perhaps you could just tell Sirius or James where I am?"

Peter looked like he wasn't agreeing with what she was saying, so she pointedly rolled over so her back was to him.

"Thanks, Peter," she sang out.

Hermione listened as she he shuffled around behind her before he heard the echoing footsteps of him leaving.

She rolled back over with a huff and was just starting to drift off when she noticed that the bloody handkerchief was gone.

Did Peter throw it away?

What an odd morning.

* * *

Later that morning, she woke up to hushed arguing from two soft voices.

"That's none of your business, Potter!"

"Oh, so you're back to calling me Potter, huh?"

"I've always called you that!"

"Not lately you haven't." There was a pause in conversation, and someone sighed. "Listen, Lily. I really like you. I've waited and turned down girls and been there for you and I've… well… I've _loved_ you for years now." Hermione couldn't believe she was witnessing (kind of) the possible first legitimate confession from Harry's father to his mother. "I guess I can't make you love me right?" Hermione wanted to open her eyes and tell James not to give up. Listening to this conversation was sending painful twinges directly to her heart, and he just sounded so teary. "I can't force you to feel something if your heart's not in it, but if that's true, then I need you to cut me loose because I _can't _do this anymore."

There was another pause and then she heard a sniffle and, "You're giving up?"

"I'm _not_. I'm being realistic."

A huff and, "Sounds an awful lot like giving up to me."

"Lils, just tell me, okay? Do I stand a chance at all?"

Lily seemed to squeak a little before a very, _very _quiet mutter came from her mouth that sounded like, "You might have a chance."

"Okay, I'll take that," he whispered.

There was some shuffling and then a kiss pressed to her temple.

"Hermione you can quit pretending you're sleeping now. I've got Quidditch Practice."

Hermione peeped one eye open and smiled happily at him.

"You hear that, Jamie? You might have a chance."

James grinned at her and said, "I might've heard that."

* * *

**AN: I like this chapter. It's a little short, but it's got some good content. **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Hope you enjoyed!**


	36. Delirium

**AN: Guys I am truly APPALLED at all of my spelling and grammatical errors in the last chapter. I swear I read through it four times before publishing, but I must have been tired or something. RIP. I'll go through and edit once I've completed the story.**

**BEFORE YOU READ: I know that the cave was written on an island surrounded by crashing waves, but for purposes of the story I have changed it to be surrounded by forest on one side and a cliffside on the other. Please don't write a review about how I got a fact from the story wrong ! I promise I am aware!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Delirium**

Lily was mortified.

Not only had she just admitted that she might have feelings for James Potter, but she'd also done it within hearing range of his adoptive sister.

As soon as James was out of the Hospital Wing, Lily moaned and jumped to her feet to pace the length of the bed. She may be terribly embarrassed and regretting every time she'd screamed at James that it would _never _happen, but nothing in her could suppress or explain the panic and heart ache that hit her when James essentially said he wouldn't fight for her anymore. The fact was, she'd grown to quite adore how much he fought for her. And through growing closer to Hermione, she'd come to realize that all of his cruelty and anger towards Severus came from a misguided need to fight the good fight. His follow-through may have been horrible, but he had good intentions and she could see that now.

"Did I just tell James Potter he stood a chance with me?" She voiced out loud.

Hermione just snorted and sat up. "I'm afraid so." After a pause where Lily squeaked, and Hermione gingerly poked at her nose, she added, "It's about time too."

"What!" Lily's entire body flushed bright red, and she rounded on her friend. "What do you mean, Hermione?" She asked desperately.

Hermione slouched with her feet dangling over the side of the bed. "I mean, I saw this coming." She shrugged dismissively and went to stand, but Lily slapped her hands on her shoulders and held her down.

"Oh, no you don't, missy!"

"Lils, I'm starved!" Hermione tried pouting at her, but Lily just glared.

"Sirius, is bringing you food before he heads to practice. Now sit down and have girl talk with me, you barmy old hag!"

Hermione's mouth gaped before she erupted into a fit of giggles. "Barmy old _hag_? I think I like ignorant toe-rag better!" Her giggles faded, and her face turned down into a frown after a moment. "And why has everyone been calling me barmy lately? I'm completely sensible."

Lily rolled her eyes before glancing around to make sure the wing was completely empty. "Back to the point. Of course you would've seen this coming! You're from the future!"

Hermione tried to stop the smile from taking over her face, but the corners of her lips kept twitching up in a way that she couldn't help. She watched Lily's face as her own words took a second to process, and she could draw conclusions.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaimed and stepped back to start her pacing again. Hermione figured she might as well get comfortable and sat back on the bed after fluffing up her pillows to hold her up. "If you're from the future, and you saw this coming, then it must've been a big enough deal that it's still talked about twenty years from now. That means that we must end up dating a long time." Lily looked up at Hermione with big frightened eyes, "You hag! I marry him don't I?"

Hermione crossed her arms across her chest and smirked. "Telling you who you marry would be like telling you the end of the novel when you're only halfway through. I simply refuse."

Lily moaned for the umpteenth time and climbed up onto the end of the bed.

"Plus, I've changed so much, the future as I know it is gone, so there's that."

"Talking about your misadventures?" Sirius's voice caused Hermione's face to break out into a true grin.

"Food!" She said happily and wiggled her finger for Sirius to hand her the two large plate fulls that he'd nabbed from the Great Hall.

"Nice to know what I'm good for," he grumbled, but the amused smile on his lips told a different story.

"But to answer your question, yes. We're having 'girl talk.'" Hermione managed to say around a mouthful of Blueberry muffin.

Sirius turned his amused smile on the red-head currently nicking blueberries off one of Hermione's plates. "Woke up this morning with the intent of torturing Hermione then?"

Lily grinned. "Don't I always?"

Sirius turned back to smile at Hermione and that's when he finally noticed the blood smeared all over her jumper. He stepped forward and grabbed onto Hermione's face to inspect her nose. It was still a little red, but just as straight and pert as it had been yesterday.

"Does it still hurt, kitten?"

She swallowed her bite of muffin and shook her head. He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss right to the tip of her nose before kissing her again on her forehead. "It was the strangest thing though, Sirius. I admit, I was a little distracted, but it was like I lost control of my feet for a second. Next thing I know, I'm banging my nose on the rail." He studied her face again and kissed her chastely on the lips. Lily let out a small squeak from across the bed, and Sirius turned a smile on her.

"You want one too, Evans?"

Lily scowled, "Not from you!"

Sirius released Hermione's face to cross his arms across his chest. "Should I go grab James then?"

Lily blushed and turned her head away. Hermione smacked Sirius on the arm and gave him a pointed look.

"Right. I've got to get to practice. I'm already late."

He gave Hermione one last kiss before kissing Lily on the head and exiting the room completely. Hermione watched him until he was gone before turning back to find Lily giving her a curious look.

"You know… I never could've imagined Sirius actually dating someone, but I think you two are perfect together."

Hermione cocked her head to the side happily. "Really?"

Lily nodded and looked back at the plates of food. "Oh, yes. You're both completely insufferable _hags._"

Hermione gasped and hit Lily with a pillow.

"I'm _so _telling Sirius you called him a hag."

* * *

Hermione was dreading Summer holiday. She had that horrible sense of dread that had never been wrong before, and she still hadn't talked to Sirius about the plan for the locket.

After exams, she packed her trunk with trepidation and a solemn attitude. A couple of years ago she would've said that she was fine with dying in the battle that was sure to come, but so much had changed. _Everything _had changed. She hadn't been old enough to really know the future she was missing out on if she had died. There hadn't been anyone here she'd regret leaving behind.

Now though, she had a whole list of people she was willing to die for, and for a brief while there she'd even _wanted _to die for them. She thought that would set her free. She could remain with her Harry, and her Ron, forever in that odd limbo she was sure they were in. She'd get the same ending as them, instead of being given this life.

However, now she thought Severus Snape sending her back had saved her life in multiple ways. She wanted to see Lily marry James. She wanted to watch Remus give his heart to a deserving girl. She wanted Dorea and Charlus to meet their grandson. She wanted to help Regulus find himself separate from his familial obligations. She wanted to go to whatever odd bonding ceremony she was sure Pandora and Xenophilius would have. But somehow, impossibly more that any of that, she wanted a future with Sirius. She wanted to see him buy his first motorbike, and hear him say he loved her, and watch him become a talented auror, and witness him as a doting godfather, and just watch him be _happy. _

As if sensing her thoughts, Sirius appeared in the doorway of her room.

He took one look at her pensive face and sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"Sirius, I have to tell you something."

There was a moment of silence before Sirius wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Voldemort asked Regulus for Kreacher over Easter." She laced her hands in her lap and gripped them together so tight that her knuckles turned white. "The last Horcrux has been placed. Regulus and I are going to go retrieve it."

The silence after that was tense. "Regulus and I? As in Regulus and I, plus me?" He questioned.

Hermione chanced a glance up at him through her lashes and whispered, "Regulus and I, as in _just _Regulus and I."

Sirius retracted his arm and leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees. He sighed and said, "And why, may I ask, am I not permitted to come?"

"Well, Regulus insisted it be just us two. His reasons are his own."

Sirius jumped up and stood right in front of her. She'd never seen his anger directed at her like this. "So let me get this straight. My girlfriend and my baby brother are going on an incredibly dangerous mission, and I have no say?"

Hermione scowled. "You're starting to sound like Remus. He always tried to stop me from going."

Sirius growled and took a menacing step forward. "I'm not forbidding you go, Hermione! I just want to go with you!"

A small part of her had recognized that this would be his reaction. She's hardly faced the wrath of an angry Sirius Black, but his temper was legendary. "Well, you _can't_. You think I'm happy about this? Regulus doesn't want you there because he wants to protect you!"

Sirius waved his hand in the air, "So what is this? Some twisted way for him to find redemption? Do this alone, and his sins are forgiven? Doesn't he know that I forgave him as soon as you told me what he'd done!"

"This isn't about you, Sirius!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes dangerously, "Well, it bloody feels like it!"

Hermione suddenly got very tired. She ran her hand down her face and sighed. "It's going to be okay, Sirius. I have the most information on this Horcrux. I know where it is, what protections are in place, how to get in and out, and how to protect Regulus."

"If you're protecting Regulus, who's protecting you!"

Sirius's anger melted when those words left his mouth and he had tears in his eyes as he fell to his knees in front of her. He laced his fingers over hers and bowed his head in her lap like he was praying.

"You two are the most important thing to me. You understand? The _most _important thing." He looked up at her and his grey eyes with all those intense emotions had her breath hitching. "I need you to make it out. I need both of you to make it out." He kissed the knuckles of her thumbs what must've been ten times before resting his forehead over them like before. "I just got him back, and I just got you."

"Sirius, you're not going to lose us," she insisted in a soft voice.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she spread her knees so that he could be even closer. Their bodies molded together because they just fit, and Hermione rested her cheek against the top of his head.

"I'm going to do everything I can to live for you, Sirius."

This promise was monumental to her, and exactly what he needed to hear.

He rubbed his nose against her ribcage and whispered, "I'm already living for you, kitten."

* * *

One week later, Hermione was getting dressed after breakfast to meet Regulus. They were meeting at Order Headquarters, and then Kreacher would be taking them to the cave.

Hermione had stored all of the Horcruxes and fangs in an old, extended, leather case on the top shelf of her closet, and written in the notebook where they were just in case. She'd been keeping detailed updates before and after every single mission as a precautionary measure, but the dread in her stomach this time had pooled to a deadly weight.

She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and made her way down the stairs as she donned her simple black cloak.

She stepped into the traveling room to use the floo and paused at the image of everyone currently staying at the residence sitting on the sofas close to the fireplace. It was Remus, Sirius, James, Dorea, and Charlus, and when she stepped in they looked at her in a way that made her feel like they all knew where she was going.

"Hullo…" she mumbled as she fixed the sleeves on her robe and walked over to the fireplace.

"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" James drawled with that same mock expression he wore every time she left for a mission. Looking into his hazel eyes, she could see that he knew she was about to lie to him.

"I'm just heading to Flourish and Blotts. A new series on Arithmancy in Divination was just released by Frederick Balmer."

Anyone who knew her at all knew that she didn't care a lick about Divination, but she couldn't find it in her to tell a believable lie. Not if she knew he was aware of it.

James nodded thoughtfully. "And when will you be home?"

Hermione's eyes darted around the room, and she said carefully, "Before dinner, I suppose."

Remus sighed and stood. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and squeezed her elbow before exiting the room completely. Dorea and Charlus followed shortly after. Both of them with their own small tidbits of wisdom to impart to her.

James stood then and stepped forward so that he was just an arms length away.

"I trust you," James said strongly.

Hermione released a breath of air she hadn't realized she was holding. "I need to talk to you when I come back, James." She gave him a pointed look, and he smiled goofily.

"Am I finally going to get clued in to the mystery that is your past, Hermione Granger?"

Hermione laughed and said, "Well, something like that."

He reached out for her wrist and pulled her into a tight hug. She didn't know at what point she had stopped projecting Harry onto James, but at the moment she took comfort in James's arms. James and Harry weren't the same. They offered a different kind of friendship, and she loved them both for it.

"I'll see you at dinner then?" He asked as he pulled away. "Tilly's making your favorite." He held his arms out wide and yelled, "An Italian feast!"

Hermione smiled warmly, "Yes, I promise."

He clapped his hands together and spun on his feet. He pointed at Sirius mock threateningly as he left the room as well. Then it was just Hermione and Sirius. Sirius stood and made his way over to her. Before she could even open her mouth to say something, his lips were on hers. It wasn't like any kiss they'd shared before.

He was biting a tugging and laying claim to her mouth in a way that she had never experienced before. It was hot and the kind of kiss that she was sure she'd remember forever. She moaned into his mouth when his teeth nipped at her bottom lip only to suck it in between his own to soothe it with his tongue. Hermione was sure she was going to burst with passion right there, but then his hands gentled in her hair, and the kiss turned sultry and tender and she wanted to cry.

He pulled away and pushed his nose into hers affectionately.

"I'll be back for dinner, Sirius," she whispered. He could feel her eyelashes brushing against the tops of his cheeks.

"I'm counting on it, kitten."

Hermione had to pull away then because if she didn't, she'd do something stupid like tell Sirius to come with her, or not go at all. Hermione felt like a normal girl around Sirius. It was like he'd personally given her her humanity back.

Right before she threw the floo powder, she turned back and looked at him over her shoulder. She smiled then without a hint of sadness. Everything she felt for him was shining in her amber eyes.

"I love you," she said sincerely.

Before Sirius could stutter a response she'd thrown the floo powder in and was gone.

* * *

Regulus and Hermione were standing in front of the cave with both their hands gripped tightly on their wands.

Regulus had sent Kreacher back to Grimmauld place with the directive to distract Walburga long enough for him to return, and once the still weak elf had disappeared, Hermione and Regulus had turned to the entrance and frozen in place.

"I'll be drinking the potion," Hermione said with determination.

Regulus knew he should probably do the honorable and Gryffindor thing and tell the small witch that he would do it, but the relief he felt at not having to was palpable. He nodded stiffly and took the first step toward the cave, but he was stopped by an invisible barrier.

Hermione stepped forward then and remembering Harry's retelling of his trip here all those years ago, she pulled a small dagger from her infinite bag.

"It's blood magic," she whispered.

"Of course it is," Regulus grumbled.

Hermione without hesitation, sliced her palm open, and held it out as an offering. "It's a weakness payment. Give your blood, and you're weak."

Regulus frowned and said, "Not very effective protection."

Hermione scowled at Regulus. "You know that's not the _real_ protection."

"Right," he mumbled.

Stepping into the large cavern gave her a feeling similar to being surrounded by Thestrals. It was dark and erie and she could see soft white forms gliding under the water of the black lake. The only true light besides their wands was the emerald green glow coming from seemingly the middle of the lake.

Hermione stepped towards the boat, and they both climbed in. The cavern was silent so every gentle prod of Regulus paddling would echo in a way that had both their heads swinging from side to side in paranoia.

Hermione to distract herself said, "Good thing is that Voldemort underestimates both underage wizards and witches as well as house elves."

Regulus hummed in acknowledgment but otherwise kept his eyes focused on either the water or the quickly approaching small island. The small island was really just a pile of smooth jutting rocks expanding outward from the goblet in the middle.

The closer they got, the harder Hermione had to work to swallow the rising panic she was feeling.

Harry had told her that this potion had Dumbledore on his knees begging Harry to not make him drink. The image of their old Headmaster begging for anything was startling in itself.

In her opinion, they got there much too soon.

She allowed Regulus to help her out of the boat and the both stood warily in front of the green glowing potion.

"Remind me again what that is?" Regulus asked quietly.

Hermione gulped. "It's called the Drink of Despair. I'll be feeling extreme fear and delirium. I'll also have stomach pains and be unreasonably thirsty."

Hermione reached out for Regulus's hand and clutched it tightly in hers.

"After a while, I won't be able to force myself to drink. You have to make sure I finish it. No matter how much I beg. And don't, under _any _circumstances, give me water from the lake. You understand?"

Regulus squeezed her hand in comfort. "I understand."

"Alright then."

She released his hand and stepped forward to pick up a small shell. She scooped up the first mouthful of emerald potion and before she could talk herself out of it, she downed it.

The effect was instant. Her entire torso felt like it was on fire and the panic and anxiety that plagued her before and after every mission hit her then. She could hear whispers floating through her mind. Whispers flying out of every carefully locked box, every dark corner, and every crevice. It was like the potion was attacking every mental weakness it could fine, and all she needed was water.

"Hermione?" Regulus asked nervously. She shook her head at him and used one arm pressed against the alter to brace herself and started to slowly down more of the potion.

After that first sip, she couldn't imagine it could get worse, but somehow it did. She supposed that was how it always worked. It was like she was at her lowest point after coming to 1975 except some of her greatest fears had morphed without her even knowing it.

_You'll die facing Voldemort. _

Another sip.

_James will hate you when he hears where you're from. _

Another.

_Sirius doesn't love you. _

At this point, she was sobbing so hard she couldn't properly hold the cup. After a few seconds of her bracing both hands on the edge and shaking over the basin, Regulus reached forward and took the cup from her.

She jumped when his fingers brushed against hers, and it scared her even more that it took her a few seconds to recognize his dark and nervous eyes.

"Regulus?"

Regulus had never heard her voice like that. She had, without either of their knowledge, become his own pillar of strength, and here she was shaking in fear.

_You have to make sure I finish it._

Regulus filled the cup and brought it to her trembling lips. He had to hold her jaw tight to get her to drink the potion at all.

"Just a little more," he assured.

"No! Don't make me-"

He pushed another cup full against her mouth before she could finish, and she gave him a look like he'd betrayed her.

She fell to the rocky ground and held herself in a small ball.

"It hurts… Don't make me drink it, Regulus. _Please._"

This time when he filled the cup he scraped the bottom. "Just a couple more, pet. I promise."

"No," she moaned and tried to weakly push him away.

He almost cried watching the tears slip down her face, and he had a hard time accepting the fact that he wasn't the direct cause. When the last of it was gone, she was a mess on the floor, begging him for water.

"Please!"

He ignored her to grab the locket and slipped it over his head, and dropped to his knees just in time to catch Hermione as she crawled toward the Inferi filled water.

"No, Hermione!"

He had to use all his strength to wrap her in his arms and stop her from triggering the dead army to attack. He could feel the dark effects of the locket, but he ignored it in favor of the more pressing matter.

"You can't!"

"_Please." _

Her ignored her and stood with her small curled up body clinging to him. He used one arm to hold her like a small toddler, and his other to hold up his wand and make it to the small boat.

"It's over, Hermione." He climbed into the boat carefully, and she wrapped herself around his body and sobbed against his neck. It was hard to maneuver the oars around her, but he managed because he knew if he let go of her, she would throw her body off the side, and he could imagine he might end up just jumping over after her. For selfish reasons, but he would do it nonetheless.

He couldn't have been more glad to reach the shore, and as he stood, he realized that she wouldn't be letting go.

He needed to get her some water.

He sat down as soon as they were in the midday sun and reached for the bag she kept wrapped around her body. His cheek was pressed into the side of her face and he had to strain his neck to see over her curls and down into the bag.

Magically extended of course.

He thought for a moment before holding his wand over it.

"Accio water!"

Just as he'd suspected, Hermione had prepared for this, and out flew a bottle of water. He unscrewed the lid, and set his wand to the side.

His free hand wrapped around the back of her neck, and he pulled her head back so that her face was right in front of his.

"Water," he said.

When he held the bottle to her lips, she continued to drink until the entire thing was mostly gone before pulling away and dropping her forehead against his shoulder.

Regulus had no experience in comforting witches. None whatsoever.

He screwed up the bottle and wrapped one arm around her. The other went to pick up his wand as he glanced around.

"Hermione, we should get out of here. Are you strong enough to apparate us?"

She nodded and pulled her head away.

Hermione felt a little more herself after the water. She was weak and the whispers hadn't faded, but she wasn't nearly as afraid as she had been just a moment ago.

She pulled herself off of Regulus and shakily stood on her own two feet.

"Okay. I'm okay," she whispered.

She swayed on her feet, and Regulus grabbed her waist to steady her.

"You sure? I don't fancy getting splinched."

Right after he said that a twig snapped somewhere and both their heads snapped up to see six masked Death Eaters step into the small clearing.

"Well, isn't this a lovely sight."

"Seems our little recruit has been seduced to treachery, mates."

"Yes, and by the figurehead of the rebellion no less."

"Hermione Granger was it?"

Hermione turned and gave Regulus a panicked look. She threw up a strong shield right as they started to fire at them.

She grabbed his elbow and tried to immediately get them out of there, but nothing happened.

"Anti-apparition wards! We have to run!" Hermione's shield wasn't nearly as strong as she'd hoped and it fell right as they took off into the woods. She fired off a series of spells right as they disappeared into the tree line.

Hermione was about ten paces behind Regulus and trying desperately to remain on her feet. Everything felt like it was in slow motion and there were screams and accusations rushing past her ears, that hadn't stopped since she'd taken that first sip of the emerald potion.  
She could see spells connecting with the ground on both sides of her. They had to be close to the edge of the wards. They had to.  
The screams only stopped when her foot got trapped under a tree root, and she slammed into the ground. Something yanked hard on the back of her neck. Her head bounced against a pile of rocks, and suddenly there was no sound whatsoever.  
Something landed in the dirt right in front of her. A shiny silver pendant with a broken chain. She gasped. How could she have forgotten?  
She knew she only had a few seconds to act. She tried to stand, but her ankle gave out from beneath her, so instead she dove for the necklace. Regulus had the locket. Remus and Lily had her notebooks. They could do it without her. She'd done her job. She'd gotten nearly all the Horcruxes.  
"Regulus!"  
She couldn't even hear her own voice, but he had. He turned and saw her, and she saw the panic erupt on his face.  
Before he could start running for her she threw the pendant as accurately as she could from her place on the ground. On instinct, Regulus reached out and caught the chain between his fingers.  
As soon as she knew he had the pendant in his palm, she looked him in the eye and said strongly and wandlessly, "Portus."  
"No!" She saw him mouth. The last thing she saw before he disappeared were his fingers reaching out for her and guilt beginning to blossom across his face.  
In mere seconds, she was grabbed by her broken ankle and yanked back. She screamed in pain and ropes sprung out and tightened around her torso.

When she was flipped on her back staring down at her were six Death Eater masks.

One of them raised their wand, and the last thing she thought of before she was stunned was that she'd told Sirius she'd be back for dinner.

* * *

**AN: Sorry about that cliffhanger! But if it makes you feel better the next chapter is one I've had mostly written for months now. So, expect another update either tonight or tomorrow! **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**


	37. Treachery

**AN: Like I said, another update only five hours later. Hope you appreciate it lol**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Treachery **

Regulus landed in the middle of the Potter family traveling room clutching the locket in one hand and Hermione's necklace in the other.

The Death Eater's had only been inches away from her when he'd disappeared.

Regulus wasn't ignorant, naive, or optimistic. He knew what they'd do to her. If she was lucky they'd just kill her.

By the time the rest of the Potter's, Remus, Peter, and his brother flew into the room, Regulus was on his knees with his hands in his hair screaming bloody murder. It took them a few seconds to process that Sirius's younger brother had somehow appeared in their fidelius protected home.

It was Sirius who eventually stepped forward.

"Reggie?"

His eyes snapped up to Sirius and his sobs turned to dry heaving.

"Regulus, what happened?" Regulus was breathing heavily, and his hands moved to clutch at his chest right above his heart. Sirius. He hadn't even thought about Sirius. Somehow his guilt metastasized.

"They knew we would be there. Somehow they knew."

Suddenly Sirius's eyes zoned in on the necklace swinging from Regulus's fingers, and he stopped breathing.

He knew that necklace. He had a matching one resting just below his collar bones, and they'd promised each other they would _never _take it off. Panic set in like he'd never felt before. He could feel it gripping his heart, and his blood was rushing in his ears. He suddenly erupted.

"Where is she?" He asked in a deadly whisper. Realization dawned on everyone in the room.

Sirius ran forward and pulled the pendant from his brother.

There was blood on the scales of the dragon. He found himself hoping it was Regulus's because he could see Regulus right in front of him. The idea that Hermione was gone somewhere, bleeding and hurt and alone had him even more distressed.

"They knew we were coming! They were waiting when we came out. They'd put up anti-apparition wards, and she was delirious from the potion." Regulus was shaking as he ripped the locket off in disgust. "I was going back for her. I tried, Sirius! I promise. She threw the necklace at me, and I didn't know what it was. I swear! She saved me. Why would she do that? I've only ever hurt her."

His words were choppy, and he was speaking like he was talking to himself by the end of it. Regulus's guilty sobs returned full force.

Sirius felt himself slowly begin to shake with undeniable rage. He grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up from the floor to eye level.  
He ignored the panic and protests that had broken out behind them.

Everyone in the room had no doubts about who Regulus was talking about. She'd said she was going to Flourish and Blotts. She'd promised to be back soon, and she had a nasty habit of saving people who didn't think they deserved it.

"Where is she!" Sirius was unhinged.

"I don't know! They were inches behind her when she activated the portkey. I think..." Regulus paused and sucked in a ragged breath. "I think they'd take her to _him_. When we first came out they recognized her. Oh Merlin... they knew who she was, Sirius! They'll torture the information out of her!"

Sirius was confused for a moment, but Remus understood. They knew who she was which meant they knew where she was from. And if they knew that, they knew what her mission was. Someone had betrayed her.

Someone behind Sirius was retching. Everyone remembered what had happened to her last time. How she'd come to them the first time was ghastly, and she still hadn't fully recovered psychologically after two years.

Suddenly the rage filtered out of Sirius's system. He let his brother go and sank to the floor.

_Him_.

Voldemort.

He could barely hear Dorea's soft sobs, James's proclamations of guilt, or Remus interrogating Regulus.

He could just see her before she'd left. Wild curls pulled up in a ponytail. Long black cloak. Flushed cheeks. Small collection of freckles across her nose. Warm honey eyes that always held that hint of mystery. Smiling at _him_ of all people over her shoulder from the fireplace.

_I'll be back for dinner, Sirius._

_I'm counting on it, Kitten. _

He'd wanted to kiss her and tell her how horribly, painfully in love with her he was, but he'd held it back. Made a promise to himself to tell her as soon as she got back, but now the same words were echoing around inside his skull.

_He should've said it_.

* * *

Remus had sprinted up to his room at Potter Manor. He was in such a shocked frenzy that he hadn't realized the Marauders had followed him. He was digging through his school trunk for something that could give him some answers. Something he'd been carrying around for over a year and a half now in hopes that he'd never have to use it.

"Moony?"

It was like he hadn't even heard James. He was growling in frustration and throwing things over his shoulder. Then, right there at the bottom, was the worn brown notebook that Hermione had given him in the Room of Requirement all those months ago.

He let out a choked sob and carefully picked it up.

It was glowing.

"Remus? What is that?"

James's voice was shaking like he already knew.

_They will glow and activate the secondary charms if I am compromised. _

_Compromised?_

_Dead or otherwise incapacitated. _

Remus ignored him and quickly opened the front cover. After that the glow began to dim until it was non-existent. On the very first page written in Hermione's neat script were six small words.

_If you're reading this, I'm sorry._

Remus dropped the book like it had burned him. He vaguely recognized Sirius reach down and try to open it again, but it wouldn't budge.

"Moony! What is this?"

Remus was inconsolable. He was sobbing in his hands and mumbling under his breath.

"Remus!"

When he finally looked up his normally bright green eyes were dull and miserable.

"They've killed her. That glow means they've killed her."

Sirius was furious now. He stepped up to Remus and threw the notebook at him. "What the fuck are you talking about Remus?"

"She's working for the Order, Sirius. Has been since she first showed up in 1975. A year and a half ago she gave me and Lily notebooks. Told us that she had charmed it!"

In between every few words he had to stop and take a breath.

"She said it will only glow and open for me if she was dead or incapacitated!"

James turned around and slammed his fist into the wall. Peter started shaking and moaning near the doorway before mumbling some excuse and fleeing. Sirius wouldn't take his eyes off Remus.

"I don't believe you!"

Remus let out a cry and said, "Why would I lie about this, Pads?"

Sirius was crying now too. Honest to Merlin crying.

"She said it could mean she's incapacitated. This could mean she's still alive," said a choked up voice from the doorway.

Lily was standing there clutching an identical notebook in between her white knuckles. Regulus was right behind her looking like he might fall over dead any second.

She looked around at everyone's surprised faces. "I was looking for one of my books when it started glowing."

Her eyes were glued to Remus's equally tight grip on his notebook.

"She won't be dead. They weren't aiming to kill in that forest which means they had orders to take us back alive," Regulus said quietly. He didn't have the heart to tell them that in his opinion, that was a worse outcome.

James wiped at his face angrily and said, "Well then we'll go after her."

Regulus was already shaking his head. "We can't. Not us five. We won't even make it on the property."

"We have to do something!" Lily screamed. "She'd come for any of us. All of you know that! She's saved all of us multiple times, and we probably don't even know it!"

"I'm not saying we do nothing," Regulus growled.

"Then what are you saying, Reggie?" Regulus gave Sirius a grim look.

"I know someone who might be able to help, but you're not going to like it."

* * *

Hermione woke up with a start. The first thing she noticed was the pounding in her head and that she could feel her own pulse radiating from her ankle. It was dark save a tiny window maybe the size of her head at the top of a stone wall.

She was in a cell, that much was obvious, but it was different than the one that haunted her dreams.

If anything, it seemed less secure.

The ropes securing her had been removed, and the cell had three walls, with the fourth being floor to ceiling bars. It was unbearably cold, but in the far corner of the cell there was a small cot. It took her a moment to process everything that happened.

She was captured again.

She dragged herself towards the cot and pulled herself up onto it with a groan. She tried some wandless magic, but it seemed that they'd warded the Dungeon to be a dead zone.

Hermione froze in her inspection of her ankle when she heard a sound like dragging footsteps and the creak of an old door. She pushed herself to sit straighter and crossed her arms over her chest. Despite the residual effects of the potion, she refused to show weakness. They'd be looking to exploit it. If there was one thing Hermione was completely confident in, it was her ability to be the most difficult and unyielding prisoner to exist.

A shadowed form appeared and suddenly, standing in the small bit of light, was the distinct and troubled face of Peter Pettigrew.

Her eyes widened before she worked to mask her expression, and narrowed her eyes in challenge.

His trembling hands moved up to wrap around the bars, and he leaned forward with tears in his eyes.

"I need you to understand, Mione." She flinched at the nickname, but he continued in his squeaky and anxious voice. "They would've killed me."

Her mind was whirring as she studied the boy in front of her. He'd just admitted to betraying her, but she hadn't _told _him anything. And she knew for a fact that Sirius, Remus, and Lily would never divulge her secrets.

Then a particular instance sparked in her memory. Regulus and Hermione had forgotten to shut the door.

"That night in the classroom," she voiced out loud.

Peter smiled and nodded like she'd just won points for Gryffindor before his face dissolved into the same expression of nervous energy. "I'd been tasked with finding the leak in information. I'd suspected it was someone still in school, but it wasn't until that night that I knew it was Regulus."

How had he known they would go after the Horcrux today?

The handkerchief. Her uncharacteristic tumble, and Peter's even more uncharacteristic chivalrous task of escorting her to the Hospital Wing. All of this ending with Peter procuring a handkerchief covered in her blood. The only logical explanation was blood magic. He'd been tracking her, and just this morning she'd met Regulus at the safe house.

Hermione was suddenly a ball of righteous anger. "How _could _you, Peter! I told you I'd help you! I told you I'd get you out!"

Peter looked scared despite the bars and took a few steps back. "You don't understand! He was going to kill me! I had to give him something!"

Those words sparked another memory, and before she knew it, she was spouting out the same words she'd heard from Sirius in the shrieking shack. Some of the first words she'd _ever _heard from Sirius Black.

"Then you should've died!"

Peter's eyes narrowed and he said, "What? Died to protect a girl that just appeared in my life out of nowhere? Someone that doesn't give a lick about me?" His tone was scathing, but he still had the same mousy look in his eyes like he was going to take the next opportunity to scurry away.

"This isn't about me! What if Sirius had been there? Or Remus? Or James?"

"I would've done it! They would've killed me!"

Hermione's eyes watered. "You would've betrayed your friends? Just like that?"

Peter hesitated hardly a second before saying, "They would've done the same."

Hermione was just sad now. He was so wrong. Everything he thought about everything. How had she let this sad, impressionable, insecure boy slip through her fingers?

"Oh, Peter…" He looked uncomfortable at her change in tone. "Don't you get it? They would've died for you in a heartbeat. All of them."

Hermione studied his unsure expression before the door that he must've slipped through slammed against the wall and much more confident footsteps echoed through the stone dungeons.

She took the couple seconds she had to wipe all the tears from her face before someone else appeared next to the now bowed head of Peter.

"Good work, Pettigrew. Didn't think you had it in you, spineless yuppie."

Rodolphus Lestrange turned on her then with a predatory smile.

"Ready to meet the Dark Lord, mudblood?"

She spat at him and said, "Is that rhetorical?"

Rodolphus laughed at her and slapped Peter hard on the back. "You didn't mention that your friend was so fiery!"

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but Hermione beat him to it. "He's _not _my friend!"

Peter, for a reason she couldn't possibly understand, looked surprised at her outburst. What did he think? He could betray her in such a dreadful way, and she'd still welcome him with open arms?

"No, I daresay you're right."

Hermione didn't move an inch as Rodolphus unlocked the opening in the bars and swung open a door. Before he stepped in he shot a nonverbal spell that had her hands wrapped in ropes in front of her, so clearly she was wrong about the dead zone.

He gestured for her to stand, but she shook her head.

"Your buddies broke my ankle."

Rodolphus gave her a gleeful smile then advanced on her. "Fine by me."

She tried to scramble away from him, but the man was quick for his large build and had the ropes at her wrists gripped in his hand in seconds. She screamed as he yanked on them, so that she landed hard on the ground. When he pulled her arms so that they were above her head and started bodily dragging her, she ignored the raging pain in her ankle as she kicked out and tried to find purchase on the stone. She managed to wrap one of her legs around a bar in her cell, but he just yanked her so hard that her own leg betrayed her and automatically released. It was then that she realized it was really of no use. Her shoulders were twinging painfully like she was one more pull away from dislocation, so she cursed and shuffled her uninjured foot as much as she could to make the journey less painful. When he got her out of the cell to start dragging her down the corridor she made sure to maintain eye contact with Peter the whole way down the corridor.

He met her gaze at first before something flickered in his eyes, and he had to look away.

Right before she was pulled through the door, she yelled, "I'll never forgive you for this!"

His eyes widened again in an almost comical way, but one snap from Rodolphus had him following them at a safe distance.

If she thought stone corridor was bad, it was nothing compared to the stone steps. The worst part was that Rodolphus seemed to have no problem yanking her up at a pace that her one good foot couldn't keep up with. Her body was slammed against every step, and then they reached the top and sunlight was streaming down onto them. Hermione blinked and her raging headache, somehow got worse.

She was dragged through a couple rooms, before she was pulled into a room that was lined completely with unmasked Death Eaters. She'd learned in her first capture, that you should be more scared if they were unmasked. Unmasked meant that Voldemort had no intentions of you ever making it out, so she made a point of studying every face as much as she could. She knew not everyone here was marked which meant that whatever was about to happen warranted more than just the inner circle. She made eye-contact with everyone she could because she'd be damned if she didn't share this memory in a pensieve if she ever escaped to send all of them straight to Azkaban. Lucius and Narcissa, Abraxus, Rabastan, Bellatrix, Rosier, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, Dolohov, Yaxley, Greyback, and Walburga and Orion. Her eyes darted to the other side and the first face she saw made her sick. Severus Snape. He actually looked quite ill himself. He was standing behind the first line of Death Eaters, following her journey with his dark eyes.

Some faces were familiar and some weren't.

Being dragged down the middle of what seemed to be an oblong drawing room, surrounded by the key players of her worst nightmares was a terrible kind of hell. When her arms dropped without warning her weight gave out so that she was laying on her back staring at the underside of an ostentatious chandelier.

She scrambled up in seconds, so that she was resting on her knees.

She glanced around everyone in the room one last time before spinning to face the being who had dictated every big thing in her life ever since she found out she was a witch.

The first thing she noticed about him was that he looked more human than she remembered him. No red eyes, and he actually had a nose.

She narrowed her eyes at him and snarled. "Hullo, Tom."

Almost immediately, Rodolphus pulled a hand back and slapped her so hard her entire body fell to the side, but she allowed herself just a moment to wipe the blood off on the side of her bicep before pulling herself back up.

"You will address him as your Dark Lord!"

Hermione tilted her head to the side and said defiantly, "I most certainly will _not._"

He snarled and lifted his arm back again, but a soft tsking from the man behind him stopped him.

"Now, now, Rodolphus. There will be plenty of time for that later."

Rodolphus turned and bowed. "Yes, my lord."

Voldemort waved a dismissive hand, and Rodolphus stepped back into line with his brother and wife.

After a few moments of silence in which they just studied each other, he said, "You have caused me quite a bit of trouble, Hermione Granger."

She suppressed a shiver at her own name leaving his mouth and said dryly, "I am _so _sorry. That was not my intention."

He stood up from his throne constructed completely of bones and started to make his way toward her. When he was just a foot away he reached a pale hand out to run his finger along her jaw and push her head up. She met his gaze strongly and turned a lip up at him.

"So brave," he said in a sing song voice. His voice projected so every Death Eater present could hear him. "So defiant." His fingers gripped the tip of her chin so tightly, she couldn't move her head if she tried. He grinned at her. "So _foolish_."

He released her and took a few steps back. He held his arm out and looked at someone over her shoulder.

"Peter Pettigrew. Come."

Hermione could hear his dragging footsteps behind her, and she turned her head to follow his progress with heated eyes.

He refused to look at her this time, instead staring unwaveringly at his feet. When he reached them, Voldemort smiled at him with a put-upon mask of pride.

"You have done well, Peter."

"Thank you, my lord."

"Now tell the room about this conversation you overheard."

"It was between her and Regulus Black. They-"

"Lies!" Hermione's eyes darted to the voice that interrupted and watched as Walburga stepped forward with shining, rage filled eyes. "My boy would never betray you, my lord. He is a loyal son!"

"We saw him there, Walburga. He was helping her." Hermione followed the new voice to a Death Eater she didn't recognize.

"Where is young Regulus now?" Voldemort asked.

"We failed to capture him, my lord. She gave him a portkey right as we came upon her."

Hermione smirked when Voldemort turned his eyes on her. He spoke to his follower, but maintained eye-contact with Hermione. "Very well. Walburga and Orion shall be punished for their son's treachery to the cause. As well as everyone on that mission for failure to capture the other assailant. Those punishments shall be carried out this evening."

He looked down on her, and when she felt the harsh beginnings of his Legilimency, she slammed her eyes shut.

She knew what he was looking for, His own horcruxes. She imagined it was infinitely frustrating that some teenage girl had taken his own soul and hidden it away from him with every intent of destroying it.

"How do you know what you know?" He asked curiously.

When she kept her mouth and eyes firmly shut, he said something that made her skin crawl.

"Perhaps, a different method of interrogation will loosen your lips."

She didn't indicate a response, but every muscle in her body tensed. Not again. _Please_ not again.

"Bellatrix?"

Hermione couldn't repress her shudder, and she opened her eyes to see him watching her with a look of amusement.

He stepped back and took a seat again at his throne, and everyone in the room stepped back save Bellatrix.

"Yes, my lord?" Her voice was low and simpering, and Hermione had to fight back a wave of nausea.

"She has information I need, Bella. I need you to make her more…" he smirked at her and finished with, "...compliant."

Bellatrix stepped in front of her to block her view of Voldemort, and Hermione realized she was about to be tortured in front of this large audience.

"Hullo, little mudblood."

She raised her wand, and then Hermione's screams started.

* * *

James was pacing angrily in a room full of the people he trusted most in this world with the addition of Regulus and loss of Hermione and Peter.

Everyone else was sitting and watching him with weary eyes. They'd just spent the last few hours filling him in on all the things he didn't know about Hermione, and waiting for Regulus's 'help' to arrive. There was a fidelius charm on the house, so Dorea, as Secret Keeper, had to write down the address for Regulus and trust him to deliver it wherever need be. No one could figure out how Hermione had charmed the pendant to break through all the protective measures.

It seemed that everyone in the room had a different level of information on everything to do with Hermione, and so it was an odd conversation that included lots of, 'I didn't know _that,_' s and, 'she told me not to tell,' s.

After about the thirtieth round of this, he absolutely lost it.

"She's trying to save all of us. We all died in her world," said Sirius.

"I didn't know _that_," Remus said bitterly.

"Well, you probably broke up with her before she could tell you didn't you?" Sirius quipped.

"I'll have you know that we dated longer than you did!"

"Have! Longer than I _have_! We're still dating, Moony!"

"Enough!" James erupted. "Just shut up, will you!"

The silence in the room after that was deafening, and his mother stepped forward to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"James, I know you're upset, but-"

"No! Just stop!" He'd never raised his voice at his mum. Not ever. She looked openly distraught after his outburst, but he was too angry to notice. "You idiots have been arguing about who knows more than the other, and you're all forgetting that I didn't know _any _of it! But that's not even the worst part! Hermione could be dead!"

That silenced everyone for real and the air in the room grew dark and somber.

"Don't say that," Lily protested through a sob.

"It's true though! We don't know!"

"You're wrong, Potter. I'm afraid Hermione is very much alive. Though, that's not much to say about the condition she's in," a new voice said from the door of the sitting room.

Everyone spun and stared with varying expressions on their faces.

"Sev?" Lily whispered.

Then the room descended into unmitigated chaos.

* * *

**AN: I'm afraid every chapter from here on out will be a cliffhanger.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Thanks, as always, for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**


	38. Watches

**AN: Overwhelmed with all the positive responses! As we near the close, I'll be responding personally to every review! There are a lot of you that have been here reviewing loyally for months and I appreciate it so much! **

**THANK YOU!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Watches**

Rodolphus had dragged her back to her cell in the same manner he'd dragged her out, except this time she hadn't put up much of a fight. If the occasional twitch could even be called fighting. Her nerves all felt like they were at the very top of her skin. Every scratch and jolt felt like being thrown into a pile of needles. Rodolphus found every moan and small cry amusing, and if she'd been more aware she'd have caught him leering down at her on more than one occasion.

Hermione didn't even register being thrown on the cot in the corner, or a potion being held to her mouth.

What she _did _notice was that the potion shoved down her throat was the Emerald Potion from the cave because almost immediately the pain in her stomach returned tenfold.

She didn't know how much they gave her, but she, through her delirium, could see that they were planning on keeping her dosed on it anytime she was in her cell.

She curled up facing the corner and started whispering everything she could think of that might make the _other _whispers go away. It wasn't until she quieted completely and gentle ticking sound came to her attention that she realized something.

They'd left her with her watch.

If only they knew what they'd done. A small and weak smirk pulled at the corners of her lips.

One of her trembling fingers reached out to run gently over the clock hands.

Dorea. Charlus. James. Sirius. Regulus. Remus. Lily. A fresh sob tore from her throat when she saw that they were all safe and at home.

Safe.

She slipped into unconsciousness to the soft ticking of her watch and the combatting feelings of sanity.

* * *

Sirius watched as everyone in the room started asking Snape questions all at once, but he instead just studied the wizard in front of them. He was in the long black robes for Death Eaters and he somehow looked even paler than normal. His usually emotionless expression was a mix of distaste and solemnity.

"Severus." Everyone in the room started when Sirius used Snape's proper name, but Sirius wanted him to know how serious he was being. When the room was silent, and Snape had turned his accusing eyes on Sirius, he finally spoke. "What did you mean? When you said the thing about her condition."  
Severus's lips thinned, and he stared Sirius down when he whispered, "She makes it worse for herself with her attitude. It lasted four hours."

Regulus paled and said quietly, "Four?"

At the same time Lily asked desperately, "What lasted four hours?"

Dorea moved to sit by the red-head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"She refused to tell him anything. He got angry. Bellatrix Lestrange got the honor." Severus said vaguely.

Sirius stood to start pacing. He hated this. He _hated _this.

Severus paused and said in what could be interrupted as an awe filled voice, "She got dragged in by her wrists and the first thing she said was, 'Hullo, Tom,' like they were meeting for afternoon tea."

Dorea smiled wanly and said, "I told her to try and be a little more Slytherin. I guess she didn't like that advice."

"Indeed. She acted as foolhardy and idiotic as Godric Gryffindor himself. Got herself nearly tortured into insanity for it."

"Tortured?" Lily whispered. Severus turned on her then and sneered at his old friend.

"What do you think they would do to her, Lily? Feed her a nice dinner and give her a warm bed? Of course not! Right now she's been given as much Emerald Potion as one person can handle and thrown in a cell! Of course, that's only _after_ they spent four hours torturing her for information she refused to give up!"

"Don't talk to her like that," James protested weakly.

"I'm not here to play nice!"

"Then why are you here!" Sirius screamed.

Regulus spoke up then. He looked just as miserable as he had hours ago in James's bedroom. "He's here because he's the only person I trust with access to those dungeons."

"Why do you have access to the dungeons, Severus?" Lily asked accusingly. He hadn't been friends with them for a year and a half. Ever since that dreadful instance in the hallway, and he was done trying to be the good man she mistakingly imagined him to be. Snape turned and gave Lily a deadly look.

"Who do you think has been spending the last six months brewing the Emerald Potion for prisoners?" He let her believe he did it with more malicious intent than was true. He didn't want to do it. He was just surviving. He hadn't accounted for the more volatile and protective Gryffindors in the room.

"You sick bastard!" Remus yelled at the same time Sirius launched himself at Severus. No one could stop him as he gripped Snape's collar in a fist. He was spitting mad, red in the face, and looking for anyone to blame.

He had him held up exactly how he'd been holding up Regulus that morning, and he asked in a deadly voice. "What does it do?"

Snape glared at him and decided there was really no point in lying. He'd watched how the potion effected multiple people, and it was sickening.

"Imagine your worst nightmares and memories playing on repeat in your mind, on top of other things. It… _addles_ the brain. Another name for it is the Drink of Despair." Sirius's grip tightened, and he curled a lip back to growl at him. Regulus stepped forward.

"She drank it this morning," He added. "To retrieve the locket, she had to drink it. It was terrible. I'd never seen her that scared."

Remus and Charlus both stood to pull Sirius away from Snape who only huffed at being freed. James walked up to him and before Snape could protest, yanked up his left sleeve. They all were surprised to see that there was no mark.

"He hasn't gotten me yet, Potter," he growled. "Not completely anyway." He turned toward Regulus then and said snootily, "And what, pray tell, do you expect me to do with this access?"

Regulus ran a hand down his face tiredly and said, "Get her out, Sev."

Before Regulus even finished what he was saying, Snape was shaking his head. "Not a chance."

Sirius moved to attack him again, but Remus and Charlus kept a firm grip.

Lily jumped up finally. All of her distress was now channeled into the rage she kept carefully hidden most of the time. She stepped up to her once best friend and shoved a finger into his chest.

"You _will _do this, Severus Snape!" Snape's eyes widened.

"Any why is that?" Lily bodily shoved him then. The tear tracks on her cheeks did nothing to take away from the fear her fiery expression provoked.

"Because she saved your life without getting anything in return and without you even knowing about it!" He narrowed his eyes again. Hermione and him may have made good potions partners, but that was all their interactions amounted to. He didn't make a habit of befriending passionate muggleborn witches anymore.

"What are you talking about?" He asked dangerously.

Lily turned to look at Sirius who shook his head guiltily before turning back to Snape. "We were friends once, and you ruined that by refusing to do the right thing. If you don't do this, Severus, I will _never _forgive you."

Lily's green eyes were narrowed at him, and everyone watched as the two former best friends stared at each other in their own personal bubble of tension and rage.

After what seemed like forever, Snape seemed to melt and one simple word left his mouth. "Fine."

* * *

Dorea and Charlus had insisted that they call an Order meeting to inform them of the new developments and create the most effective plan.

When Snape had informed them that the safe house they had been using was compromised due to the tracking charm placed on Hermione, Dorea insisted they make Potter Manor the new Headquarters. Snape, assuming they already knew the traitor, failed to mention the whole Peter Pettigrew aspect of the situation.

After a lot of arguing it was decided that the meeting would be called for the next day because everyone needed clear heads.

Snape said he suspected Hermione had a couple days to recuperate before she'd be dragged back to be questioned. They could all feel the crunch of time. Hermione was the strongest witch they all knew, but even the strongest witch has a limit. It didn't help when Snape, as the only witness to her torture, informed everyone without holding back that he was surprised she hadn't already completely lost her grip on sanity with the combination of the overdosing of Potions and torture.

Snape left shortly after it was decided about the meeting. Sirius pulled Regulus in front of Charlus and Dorea, and it was agreed he would be staying with them for the foreseeable future. Snape had informed him about his mother's outburst at the meeting, and he knew if he ever were to return home, he wouldn't make it out alive. Dorea welcomed him with a motherly hug that had him sobbing into her shoulder. It was too much at once. Dorea had hugged him like he'd never been hugged before, and he suddenly wished he'd let Hermione get him out before he was ever marked.

That night, no one slept. All five teenagers had piled into one of the sitting rooms and deposited themselves in various places. Lily spent a few minutes tossing and turning before wrapping herself in the thin blanket and cuddling up to James on the sofa he'd claimed.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she'd reached a fist out to punch him in the arm and said menacingly, "Not a word."

She needed the comfort, and she had realized begrudgingly that James was the perfect candidate to provide it. It wasn't until he pressed his wet nose against her cheek that she realized she provided that for him too.

Sirius and Remus both sat in front of the fire with too many nerves and dark thoughts to sleep.

Regulus had claimed the other sofa and tried to ignore all of the guilt that hadn't faded since he'd heard Hermione's strangled voice say, 'Portus.'

It wasn't until nearly two in the morning that James whispered something that had slipped their minds. Everyone was awake, but no one responded.

"Where's Peter?"

* * *

When Hermione blearily opened her eyes again it was to Peter sitting cross legged outside her cell drawing patterns with the tip of his finger in the grime on the floor. The morning light was shining through the window, and she was so, unforgivingly, cold. She had her watch pressed right above her heart, and she nearly cried again when he saw that they were all still home.

Peter jumped when Hermione managed to croak out, "Thirsty."

He shifted nervously, "I'm sorry, Mione. I can't get you water."

Her body had a tremor, and she said in between deep intakes of breath, "Don't… call… me… that…"

After a moment, something slid across the stones, and Hermione had to use all her strength to crane her neck and see it.

It was a vial of that same potion. Unwarranted tears came to her eyes, so she squeezed them shut.

"_No_."

There was silence for a moment, and she allowed herself the small sliver of hope that she wouldn't have to drink it. All of that was dashed when Peter's panicked voice broke through the room.

"You have to drink it! If you don't they'll just take you up there again! Dolohov has been saying how badly he wants a go."

She opened her eyes and looked at the blurry image of Peter. Was this his guilty conscious? Was he begging her right now, so that she would face the lesser of the two evils? In the past, she'd always wondered what kind of person would ever betray their closest friends for something as evil and dark as Voldemort's army.

She couldn't believe she'd felt bad for him at all. After everything she had endured yesterday because of him, she couldn't find it in her to feel anything but negative feelings for him.

She knew he was right though. If she didn't drink it, Peter would inform them, and who knew what Dolohov had in store for her. She had no doubt in her mind that he would be much more… creative than Bellatrix had been. She didn't know how she managed to roll herself off the cot and reach for the vial, but the next thing she knew she was downing the potion before her mind could even catch up with her body. The last thing she said before she curled up right there on the floor was a soft, "I _hate _you."

* * *

The next day around noon, Potter Manor was filled with concerned witches and wizards. Dorea had transfigured the table in the more formal dining room to accommodate as many of the Order members as she could, and there was a distinctly ominous feeling in the air.

There were many things that were peculiar about this meeting. The first being that it wasn't being held at their normal headquarters for an undisclosed reason. The second being that a decidedly unkempt Dorea Potter was standing at the front to lead the meeting rather than Moody or McGonagall. The third was that there seemed to be an unusual amount of young and unfamiliar faces in the room. And the fourth being that Hermione Granger was nowhere to be seen.

She'd become such a regular fixture in the meetings that it took nearly no time at all for someone to catch her absence, and point it out to the whole group.

It was Gideon Prewett's booming voice that caught everyone's attention.

"Where's our little birdy?"

"Tired of us already?"

"Impossible, brother!"

Everyone present took a moment to survey the room before they all finished their path on Dorea.

They watched as the woman steeled herself and said with barely a waver, "Hermione was captured on her most recent mission."

The room was silent and Sirius watched as every face in the room seemed to work their way through a range of emotions. Disbelief. Grief. Fear. He understood them all. If Hermione was gone, they lost their savior.

"Not possible," Moody gruffed. "Pup, would never be so careless." There were many chorused agreements in the crowd, and Dorea shook her head sadly.

"She wasn't being careless," Severus drawled from his place leaning against the wall. All eyes swept to him as he added emotionlessly, "She was betrayed."

Even the Marauders, and her parents hadn't known that part. Regulus gruffly added, "It's true. There's no way they could've known where we were, and they knew who she was."

A furious James spoke up first. "But who would betray her?"

Snape spared him a single glance before saying, "Peter Pettigrew."

James, if possible, grew even more angry. "Snape, now's not the time for school rivalries! Be serious!"

"This isn't about school rivalries, Potter," he spat.

Next to him, Sirius had paled rapidly. Hermione had told him what Peter had done in the future, and he, in denial, had pushed it as far away from his mind as he could. She'd said they were going to save him, and he'd dumbly believed it was possible.

"Peter would never do that," Remus assured vehemently, and James nodded in agreement.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and said reluctantly, "He already has."

Every bit of his reluctance faded away after one look at Severus's grim expression. In its place was anger. Spitting, burning, rage that he could feel consuming him and drowning out every other feeling.

Gone were any feelings of sorrow, guilt, and regret. His mind was whirring, and he asked himself what Hermione would do. The answer came to him so easily, and he knew with utmost certainty what he had to do.

Everyone watched as Sirius ran from the room with a determined expression.

After the shock dissipated, they listened with rapt attention as Snape told them everything he had told the group the night before. There were tears and illness, but mostly there was conviction.

Just as arguments broke out about what they could do, Sirius reappeared with something tucked under his arm. The conversation stalled when he slammed a leather case down on the grainy wood of the table.

"Mister Black! What in good Godric are you doing?" McGonagall screeched.

Without words he opened the case, and pulled a smaller wooden box out of it. In seconds, and before anyone could stop him, he had a fang grasped in one hand and had placed a hissing diadem in front of him. The words went in one ear and out the other for him.

"Mister Black!"

He slammed the fang down, and a black mist erupted from the place he'd punctured. Screams ricocheted around the room from the diadem, but Sirius was unaffected as he opened the next box and set the cup down. Before he could do anything, Remus stepped forward and picked up a new fang, pushing Sirius to the side. Helga Hufflepuff's cup started hissing all of Remus's deepest fears, but he didn't waver as he too, swung down the fang. Lily went next. Then James. Then last, Regulus.

Most people in the room were watching in horror with their hands clamped tightly over their ears.

Once all five of the cursed objects were nothing more than old, mangled, artifacts, Sirius looked up and said, "Now we just have the snake, and Voldemort himself."

Gideon and Fabian grinned and stood. In unison they said, "We're in!"

Moody jumped up, "I can see why pup likes ya."

Dorea and Charlus looked at the group of teenagers with both pride and concern. "Gryffindors," Dorea tsked softly. She looked at the younger black brother, "She's corrupted you, Regulus."

Charlus just grinned. "Let's get our girl."

* * *

Hermione was still curled up in the middle of her cell when her door creaked open.

She been staring unblinking at her watch.

They were still at home.

Someone grabbed her uninjured ankle and started to drag her from the cell. She sighed when her back scraped against the ground, and she thanked Merlin for the small miracle that he hadn't grabbed the swollen mess that was her other ankle.

"Come on, Mudblood. The Dark Lord is angry about something. I imagine this won't be pleasant."

She dragged her eyes away from her own limp wrist and looked up at the half profile that was Lucius Malfoy. She laughed deliriously at the image of the pristine man using all his strength to drag her down the corridor. Did they enjoy dragging her like a dead animal after a hunt? Even with her muggy brain, she had lists of options that would be much more efficient than dragging her dead weight up a flight of stairs and through a manor.

He looked down at her disdainfully and hissed, "I'm not quite sure, what about that was funny to you."

She stopped laughing then and gasped when a particularly sharp stone smacked into her spine. It reverberated up every vertebrae like ripples in a pond, and she clenched her fists when painful tingles emerged all over her body. Her voice was weak and hoarse when she said as loudly as she could manage, "Cast a feather light charm."

He paused, and her body jerked to a halt. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut when her headache somehow worsened.

He hissed something unintelligible under his breath before starting the journey again except much quicker.

His words when he first entered her cell finally became clear through the sludge that was her mental facilities.

The Dark Lord was angry.

The night before, he'd just been toying with her. He'd been slightly fearful and maybe a little unhinged, but she wouldn't have described him as angry.

Out of all her encounters with him, she could truly say she'd only seen his rage on one occasion, and she hadn't known the cause. She didn't think she ever truly recovered from the interrogation session that came from that particular day.

When sunlight glared down at her from the windows upstairs, it glinted off the face of her watch, and she looked down.

Every single hand on the watch was pointing towards traveling.

* * *

**AN: Well guys, next chapter is going to be a big one. **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews! Hope you are enjoying this! I'm both excited and sad as we reach the end of this story!**


	39. A Battle

**AN: You guys commenting about how you aren't going to know what to do with yourselves when I finish writing this… so relatable. **

**I will probably throw myself into Ancient Curiosity next with a few Just You chapters thrown in there, and I already have a new Sirimione fic in the works. I'm going to get a few more chapters in of AC before I start uploading that one, but please check them out! **

**My favorite review was Mattelle telling me that my writing has improved over the course of this story. Can't begin to tell you how much that means. That's the best kind of compliment! **

**After this chapter, we only have two left! I have plans for one epilogue chapter of sorts, but I have ideas for more if they're wanted. I will leave how many extra chapters there are up to the reviewers;)**

**THANK YOU!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: A Battle**

If someone had told Sirius a couple years ago that he would be sneaking into Lestrange Manor with Severus Snape to save the girl he was in love with from Voldemort, he probably would have told them to piss off and then immediately filed away that information as unnecessary and promptly forgotten the whole thing.

He didn't really have time to process the odd nature of his current situation until he was sat crouched at what seemed to be a cellar door in the middle of the woods waiting for a signal. Him and Snape had reached a silent agreement that words were unnecessary, and they would work together for just as long as it took to get to Hermione. After that it was every man for himself.

The plan the Order had come up with was mediocre at best.

After destroying the Horcruxes, it was complete chaos. They knew they had to act fast because according to Hermione, he would know the moment they were destroyed. They needed to take advantage of Voldemort's panic. Snape had informed them of every weakness, every way in, and every bit of information he had obtained as an unmarked Death Eater.

Which was surprisingly a decent amount of information. As a rising Potions master he was called upon often, and not many considered him to be anything more than a silent slave to the cause.

Snape was originally supposed to go after Hermione by himself, but Sirius had blatantly refused. There was no world in which Sirius would allow Snivellus to save her by himself.

Which is how they found themselves in the position they were in now. Perched next to the iron cellar door waiting for the signal. Sirius did his best to ignore the silent person next to him which wasn't hard because his concern for Hermione was pretty powerful.

He didn't know how long they waited, but when the cat Patronus of McGonagall finally showed up, Sirius couldn't help but hiss out, "About damn time."

They moved quickly.

The journey from the entrance to the opening in the back of the dungeons was all a blur to Sirius with only one thought running through his mind.

_I need to find Hermione._

That same burning rage that had been sitting way too closely to the surface since yesterday afternoon reappeared when Snape didn't hesitate once in navigating the long and maze-like structure of the dungeons to get to her cell. He knew exactly where she was being kept, and that left Sirius taking deep breaths to stop himself from killing the Slytherin before they could even get there.

When Snape stopped his quick pace abruptly, Sirius had to reach out and grab a cell bar to stop himself from slamming into him. Every muscle in Snape's back was tense.

"What is it?" He hissed.

Snape didn't speak for a moment before saying in a peculiarly anxious voice, "She isn't here."

Sirius reacted immediately and shoved the boy aside to see for himself. His anger simmered out into complete panic when he saw that he was telling the truth.

"Fuck!" He slammed his palm flat against one of the bars.

"Now is _not _the time for your irrational temper tantrums, Black."

"_Irrational?_ Irrational! She's not here which means he has her right now! I would hardly call my reaction irrational you miserable git!"

Snape turned and stood with his back to Sirius. He was eyeing what seemed to be a door at the end of the hall that Sirius hadn't noticed until that moment. "This is going to be a lot messier than even I suspected."

"Then get out of my way," Sirius growled. He shoved the boy and made for the door. He was so focused on his goal of finding Hermione that he didn't even notice Snape hesitantly follow him into the fray.

* * *

Hermione didn't recognize whatever room they'd dragged her to. Her brain felt like it was working in slow-motion, and every word spat at her took her longer than they wanted for her to process. This resulted in even more rage.

She suspected they were asking for information on some kind of plan, but she couldn't understand every word quick enough before they were assuming that she would not be giving them what they wanted and they'd punish her accordingly.

Not that she would answer if she knew what they were asking anyway.

When silence finally took over the room and the only noise she could hear were her own creaky and slow breaths, she tried desperately to gather her thoughts. She prided herself in her ability to control her own mind, so with a lot of conscious effort, she drew herself out of the swamp that her mental scape had turned into and blinked to clear her vision.

She was in some kind of large and empty room and there were three blurry forms shifting around her. She blinked a few more times and looked up at the person right in front of her. She hadn't spoken a single time since they'd dragged her into that room, but when she saw who was in front of her, she couldn't stop the mocking words that slipped out from her chapped lips.

"Alright there, Tom?"

His reaction was immediate. He took three menacing steps toward her and sneered. She tilted her head to the side and studied him. He looked different than he had yesterday. Paler somehow. Even more sickly. But the biggest thing she noticed was his shaking. His fingers were white knuckled as they gripped his wand, but even the tight hold did nothing to quell the tremors. A slow smirk made its way onto her lips, and her eyes boldly slipped up his shapeless dark robes to make eye-contact.

"Suppose not," she answered herself.

He raised his wand, but before anything could happen there was some kind of commotion outside the room. Screams. Explosions. Running feet.

She'd never been more relieved and hopeful in her life, and a bubble of laughter burst from her lips. She was grinning at Voldemort when he sent Nagini out of the room with orders she didn't hear. When he turned his head to the side to hear the hushed words from Lucius Malfoy, Hermione glanced down at her wrist, and all of her positive feelings dissolved.

Everyone she loved was in Mortal Peril. They were here.

* * *

James and Lily were back to back.

Working with Hermione during practical lessons in Defense had proven useful. They weren't nearly on the same level as she was, but together they were doing alright. James had refused to leave Lily's side, and he found himself reacting to attacks with instincts he didn't even know he had.

They were in some kind of foyer, and on one side was Corbin Yaxley and on the other was a furious Evan Rosier.

Lily was holding her own with Rosier, and as soon as James had knocked Yaxley off his feet and bound him, he swung to help Lily, only to find that she was snapping Rosier's wand and had already stunned and bound the Death Eater.

His eyes widened at the sight of his flower snapping someone else's wand, but she didn't even bat an eyelash when she threw the two pieces of wood across the room. She looked up at him, and his shocked expression melted into a grin.

"Lily Evans, I love you," he said proudly.

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to respond, but her words turned into a choked emission of surprise when she spotted something over his shoulder.

"James!"

He spun and pulled her behind him.

Coming towards them was a giant snake.

James had paid more attention during the Order meeting than he'd ever paid attention to anything in his life (besides the girl he was shielding). That was how he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the terrifying serpent slithering toward them was Nagini, and if they didn't kill it, Voldemort would be able to come back.

They had only a few Basilisk fangs left after they'd destroyed the Horcuxes, and James and Lily both didn't have one in their possession.

He cursed before beginning to fire as many curses as he could think of as he backed himself and Lily up until they were in a cornerl.

"Lily! Go get a fang!"

Lily was torn. Her fingers were twisted into the back of his shirt, and she knew James was clearly no match for the snake. When she realized she had no idea where the other fangs were, she started gasping in panic.

Her eyes darted around and landed on something shimmering across the room that had most definitely _not _been there before. She slid out from in between James and the wall and dove for it.

James knew two things. He wasn't going to be able to kill the snake without a fang, and he was _not _going to give up without a fight.

When Nagini's head reared back and nothing seemed to be working, he pressed his back as far into the corner as he could. Right as the head started to lunge for him, a flurry of red hair came flying at it, and with one quick, downward motion, the head of Nagini went flying off the rest of the body.

He stared at the decapitated and twitching head in frozen shock for a few moments before his eyes slowly traveled up to an image he imagined he would never be able to forget.

Lily was standing there glaring at the snake harder than he'd ever seen her glare before (which was saying something) with the bloody sword of Gryffindor hanging in front of her from her fists. She spit on it furiously before straightening and releasing one hand to flick a stray piece of hair from her brilliant green eyes.

His mouth slowly twitched into a grin so huge, he was sure he looked mildly deranged.

"Marry me," he said dreamily.

He expected her to roll her eyes or maybe hit him, but what she did instead was also something he was positive he would never forget.

She dropped the sword and jumped on him with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and snogged the living hell out of him.

It was the best moment of his life.

When she pulled away, she smiled cheekily at him and said, "Maybe later."

* * *

More Death Eaters had filtered into the room until there were maybe ten of them. Voldemort was on edge. Hermione watched him as his body gave a quake, and he fell to one knee. She cocked her head to one side in confusion and then it hit her.

Nagini must be dead.

This meant they were all completely gone which meant Hermione needed a wand. Just as that thought ran through her mind the door behind her burst open. Before she could get a good look at who it was, the third person in the room who she still hadn't identified had an arm wrapped around her neck and was pulling her backwards away from the door. Her tied hands went up to his elbow to pull and try and take a breath, but she wasn't strong enough. Her feet were dangling off the ground, and she blinked desperately to get a look at who had entered.

She didn't know if she felt more relieved or upset when one of the faces standing in the doorway was Sirius. Her eyes paused on his, and she tried to convey to him with just a jerk of her head that he shouldn't do anything stupid. His desperate expression along with the slight twitch of his wand arm made clear that he didn't get it.

Slowly more and more Order Members began to filter into the room. Her eyes watered when she saw that Regulus was standing steadily next to Dorea and Charlus. Somewhere off to the left was Remus, James, and Lily.

All of their wands were pointed at Voldemort.

For a moment, the only noise in the cavernous room was the sound of Hermione's gasping breaths and the scuffling of the Death Eaters feet as he worked to balance himself.

Her mind was working a mile a minute. If the Order attacked there was no doubt in her mind that she would be the first kill.

She made eye contact with Moody and managed to choke out, "Do it."

It wasn't loud, but the Auror heard her. If she had looked at anyone else and said that they would have hesitated. But she _hadn't_ looked at anyone else, she'd looked at Alastor Moody. Two green beams of light shot out at the same time, and Hermione immediately felt an explosion of pain in her abdomen.

Her body was dropped like a limp doll, and she landed hard on her side with a gasp. Standing above her and grinning like mad was Antonin Dolohov.

"What better way for the mudblood to die than the muggle way?"

He'd stabbed her.

The rushing in her ears drowned out the yells and curses flying from the other side of the room, and in seconds, Dolohov was hit with something that sent him flying away from her. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes, but a promise she'd made to Sirius had her lifting her bound hands up and using her remaining strength to slam her watch against the wood flooring. The movement caused the handle of the blade to hit the ground and push even deeper into her abdomen.

She could taste blood bubbling up in her throat, but she ignored that in favor of searching through the shattered remains of her watch for something she had placed very carefully behind the face a long time ago.

Right when breathing became impossible her fingers tightened around what she'd been looking for, and she clasped it tightly between her two bound hands.

Then everything was just gone.

* * *

When Hermione opened her eyes again, she felt for the first time in days absolutely no pain and a clear mind.

Something soft and dewey was pressed into her exposed skin and above her was a cloudless blue sky. She could smell freshly cut grass and could hear the sound of soft footsteps sinking into earth.

Before she could even blink someone was hovering above her, blocking the warm afternoon sun.

"Hey there, Mione."

She blinked a few times and asked softly, "Harry?"

Before he could respond another familiar face came into view above her.

"Ron?" She gasped softly.

"Blimey, I missed you," he said with a goofy grin.

Her eyes began to water, and suddenly both of them had hands on her arms and she was crushed in a hug between the two boys. She was laughing more recklessly than she'd ever remembered laughing before, but then they turned into choked sobs and the boys pulled away from her. Both of them with one of their hands resting on her shoulders.

"Am I dead?" She asked quietly. She must be, or this was just an insanely realistic dream.

Harry frowned and said, "Not quite." He paused and scratched the back of his head before adding, "Actually I believe that's up to you."

Ron looked at her seriously, "You're not dying today, Mione."

She wiped at her eyes and took a look around, and that's when she realized she was on the lawn of the Burrow. She could hear familiar noises of the rambunctious Weasley family coming from just inside the door where she knew the kitchen and dining room table to be. She turned around to look at the boys, and realized that they were both wearing non-bloodied clean clothes.

Life was giving her a choice.

She was tempted for a moment when she imagined walking into the kitchen and seeing everyone again as she knew them. Her adoptive family. Ron and Harry. She could enjoy a loud meal and a doting Molly and the mischief of Fred and George and Ginny's gossiping and Arthur's questions about muggles and she _wanted _that.

But then she realized something that made her feel like a traitor.

She wanted her family in 1977 more.

_I'm going to do everything I can to live for you, Sirius._

When she met Harry's eyes he was giving her a soft smile like he'd been able to hear everything that she'd just thought.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. It was a miserable kind of whisper, and before she knew it, Harry had wrapped his arms around her and crushed her against his chest.

"You should _never _be sorry for wanting to live."

He pulled away and held her at arm's length, but Ron reached over and pulled her into his own arms. "We'll always be watching over you, Mione."

She smiled against his shirt before stepping back and putting one palm against both of their cheeks.

Her boys.

"I miss you both already," she cried.

They both just smiled at her softly before they slowly began to fade out along with everything around her.

Then she shut her eyes, and the blinding pain returned.

* * *

Sirius had watched as Hermione was yanked by her neck to Voldemort's side. He watched as she struggled to breathe. He watched as she jerked her chin when she saw him. He watched as her eyes darted around before landing on Moody. He watched her lips say the words, 'do it.' He watched from behind the curses as Dolohov pulled a hidden blade from somewhere in his robes. He watched blood seep into the front of the dark cloth of her shirt. And he watched as her body collided harshly with the ground.

He didn't process anything after that. Not a furious Charlus killing Dolohov. Or Voldemort falling. Or the Order moving forward on the rest of the Death Eaters. Not the reigning silence when they'd all been bound and Aurors had shown up to take them away. Or the silence that took over the rest of the Order when Hermione didn't move. Not anyone or anything.

The only thing he knew was that he ran as fast as he could for Hermione, and she hadn't been breathing when he got to her.

His own breathing was ragged, and he felt like his world was on fire.

He didn't even hesitate as he pulled the blade from her back and gathered her frail and frozen body in his arms. He pressed his ear to her chest and listened for a heartbeat. Any sign that she was breathing. _Anything_.

When he couldn't hear her heart or feel her lungs taking in any air, he broke down.

They were horrible, gut-wrenching, shameless sobs that shook both their bodies and echoed across the silent room. His forehead was laying against her ribcage, and all of the Order watched as her head hung down at an unnatural angle from Sirius's elbow. Her eyes were shut and her curls were hanging limply from her head. Her small hands were curled against each other in her lap. It somehow became even more heart-breaking when Sirius lifted his head and began to reverently release her from the ropes binding her and then pressed his quivering lips against her cheek. He was holding her more carefully than he'd ever held her before as if he didn't want to cause her any more unnecessary pain.

It was like everyone else was holding their breath, and Sirius was feeling enough grief for all of them.

No one really knew how long it had been when something that none of them expected happened. Her eyes flew open, and she sucked in a great heap of air that had Sirius's head flying up to stare at her.

She flopped slightly in his arms and then immediately began to choke on her own blood.

"Someone get a healer!" He screamed.

She'd been dead. He was sure she'd been dead.

He ignored all his own disbelief and gently cradled her head to bring her up.

"You're okay," he managed to choke out. "You're going to be okay, Hermione."

Healers from St Mungos had already been there to heal the other members, so in seconds someone in the distinctive robes was in front of him muttering under her breath quickly. Suddenly, Hermione was breathing. Her eyes slowly closed, and Sirius's gaze darted to her chest to watch it move with her intakes of air.

Another healer showed up next to her then and said urgently, "We need to get her to Mungos to stabilize her!"

Sirius thought that maybe the hardest moment of his life was releasing her into their care after thinking she was dead. He was frozen in his spot as they levitated her and disappeared in seconds after activating an emergency portkey. Small sobs were still coming from his mouth. His head dropped toward the ground where the ropes that had been wrapped around her wrists had fallen, and his eyes got caught on something.

A small black stone.

* * *

**AN: Hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter. I **_**really**_ **wanted to get it right. The whole story was building up to this moment. **

**Thanks as always for the follows, favorites, and reviews.**

**I really enjoyed reading all your thoughts on the previous chapter, and I am sorry if this chapter was shorter than you were hoping for!**


	40. The Remains

**AN: A lot of closure in this final installment (not counting the epilogue). Thanks for everyone who stuck with this story! I can not believe it has come to an end. This is my first story of this length that I have ever finished. It is very gratifying, and I am sure there will be another. Much love for my loyal followers!**

**Hope this chapter brings you happiness:)**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Forty: The Remains**

Hermione was unconscious for four days.

When she finally did wake up, somehow the news leaked to the entirety of the Order, and her Hospital room had a revolving door for the rest of the day. She was tired and in pain, but every new face that appeared in her doorway brought a sigh of relief. Her brain was slightly sluggish and her memory from her time at Lestrange Manor was spotty at best, but she couldn't help but think she'd been incredibly lucky. Tremors, aching muscles, and slow speech was manageable in comparison to a permanent room in the Janus Thickey Ward.

She didn't remember anything after getting stabbed, and everyone wasn't telling her anything about what happened besides the fact that Voldemort was dead. It wasn't until Moody came in for a visit that she was told the cold hard truth of it.

They'd lost Benjy, Dedalus, and Edgar Bones. On top of that quite a few were in St Mungos with serious injuries. But that wasn't the news that threw her.

She'd died.

It wasn't until Moody left, and she'd had a few moments to process the information and notice the absence of her watch, that the memory of her small amount of time with Harry and Ron had come back to her. She'd made a choice.

The rest of the day continued as it had started. People were in and out of her room giving their gratitude and thanking her for what she'd done for the Wizarding world. Dorea and Charlus had sat with her for a lot of it, but eventually they'd gone back to Potter Manor for the night.

Lily had come sometime in the afternoon to tell her about Nagini and snogging James which had lifted her spirits tremendously. Remus had come in and brought her his ratty tan jumper that she loved so much with quite a few sugar quills as well. He'd had to help her hide them from the medi-witches who were watching her diet strictly.

When the Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum came for a visit Hermione very nearly kicked him out. He sat in the chair by her bedside like they were old friends and discussed all the 'thanks' she would be receiving for her efforts for the Wizarding World. She wasn't interested in the Order of Merlin, the award money for her services, or the press conference he asked her to lead. She didn't want _any _of that, and she didn't understand how he'd known to approach her in the first place.

That was until he pulled a copy of the Prophet from a few days prior from his robes that it made a little sense. A picture of her from this past years New Year's Eve party was directly under the headline that read:

_VOLDEMORT DEAD! TEENAGE GIRL OR HERO?_

She'd stared at the article with a white face and wide eyes. They'd painted her to be the hero they'd been waiting for. Other members were mentioned in passing, but it was nearly completely about her. She was relieved to find that nothing of the Horcruxes or the Order of the Phoenix was mentioned. It was mostly just speculation.

Minchum had expanded on the article when she'd asked quietly, "How do they even know who I am?"

Apparently when the news of Voldemort's defeat spread the evening of the attack, every single person interviewed from the Order had all said the same thing.

"Hermione Granger."

She didn't think it was really fair for her to get all the credit, and she certainly didn't want it. She hadn't destroyed the Horcruxes, captured any Death Eaters, or even killed Voldemort.

But with the limited amount of details the members were allowed to reveal, they'd all settled on just saying she was the mastermind and strategist behind everything. And now that bit of information had been read by every single witch or wizard in Wizarding Britain. Minchum even told her that the Healers had blocked all incoming mail because apparently she was "quite famous now" and had quite a few "adoring fans."

She very nearly cried when at the end of the article it gave details of how she'd been dead for nearly ten minutes, and somehow came back to life.

She was the bloody girl who lived.

After that she'd kicked the schmoozing man from her private room and raised her wand to lock the door.

She was stopped in her actions when James's face appeared from around the jamb.

"Teenage Girl or Hero?" He mocked.

After a few seconds she rolled her eyes and grumbled, and James gave her a sad sort of smile. She watched him warily as he stepped forward and collapsed in the chair Minchum had been occupying with much less dignity and poise than the Minister had had. He ran a hand down his face before leaning forward to press a kiss against her temple.

When he pulled away, his fingers tangled in hers and he dropped his forehead to the edge of the cheap and uncomfortable mattress.

"Are you really done almost dying now? Because I don't think my heart can take it any longer."

Hermione's body lost control for a moment, and she gave a few strong shivers before relaxing back against the bed. James didn't lift his head, but he did squeeze her hand tighter which helped ground her.

"Technically, I didn't _almost_ die. I actually died." James sat up and glared at her mockingly, but she could sense a deeper feeling of hurt underneath his teasing.

"Oh, yes! How could I forget that small detail?"

Hermione shrunk further into the pillows and shut her eyes. After a few tense moments, they both relaxed into the silence of the room, and took comfort in the small amount of physical contact they were keeping. Hermione every once in a while, would be taken over by a tremor, and James would squeeze her hand tighter.

After an indeterminable amount of time, Hermione asked the question that had been on her mind since she'd woken up.

"James…" she said nervously. He looked up from where he'd been studying the pale skin of her wrists and tilted his head to the side. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes and looking at him carefully. "Where's Sirius?"

James's lips thinned, and he turned to look at the closed door for a moment before turning back to her.

He sighed. "He's been sitting just outside your room all day. Hasn't moved an inch since they put you in here besides using the loo and one shower."

Hermione frowned at the ceiling. Was he mad? Had he changed his mind?

James leaned forward and tugged affectionately on one of her curls.

"I think he's just having trouble processing, Hermione."

Hermione blinked back tears and whispered, "Processing what? Why won't he come see me?"

She watched James look down and stare at their hands with a thoughtful expression. "You were _dead_."

She flinched and turned her head away.

Ten minutes, in theory, doesn't seem like a long time, but ten minutes is long enough to assume that she wasn't coming back. Ten minutes was long enough to feel her absence. Ten minutes was long enough for everyone's heart to break.

She couldn't even imagine what she would have done if she'd been with Sirius for ten minutes of him being dead. She supposed she would need time to process, but she also knew that she would want to see him as soon as he woke up.

"You should've seen him, Hermione. I've never seen him like that."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her hand from his to tuck both of hers under her cheek.

With her back to him she asked quietly, "Can I be alone please?"

James's eyes widened, and he slowly stood from the chair. She'd never asked him to leave her alone before. Not when she was having nightmares, or when Remus broke up with her, or when she was having panic attacks. _Never._

He took a couple small steps towards the door and said quietly. "Sure, Hermione. Do you want me to get Dorea or Lily maybe?"

"No thanks."

He frowned even more heavily, but left nonetheless. As soon as the door was shut quietly behind him, he could hear her choked sobs through the wood of the door.

He looked down at Sirius and watched as a twisted, pained expression tore across his face at the sound before he dropped his forehead against his knee.

"Just go talk to her, mate," James whispered, so she wouldn't hear.

"I can't," he choked out.

James could feel his own anger begin to surface, and he found himself reaching down and pulling Sirius up by his elbow. "You can! You just won't!"

He tried to pull him towards her room, but Sirius held strong. He opened his mouth to respond, but James interrupted him.

"No! No more excuses! She's alive, so just go through the blood door and talk to her!"

Sirius's mouth clamped shut, and he eyed the door like it was the veil in the Death Chamber. Hermione was hiccuping now in that way that meant she had no control over her tears. It was heartbreaking in the same way Sirius crying over her had been. Sirius wished he could cover his ears and hum without James beating the living shit out of him.

"You don't get it, Prongs."

James grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "What is there to get! All I know is that if it had been Lily, I wouldn't have left her side all day today."

Sirius couldn't do it. He couldn't walk in there and see her all injured and sad and disappointed.

His mind was on a constant seesaw between the two last images of Hermione he'd seen. Her saying she loved him in front of the floo. Her curls glowing, her eyes sparkling, that small and soft smile aimed directly at him. Her small spattering of freckles standing out in the warm rays filtering in from the window. She'd told him she'd live for him. That she wanted to live and didn't want to die, but the other image he couldn't escape was her nearly thirty hours later, dead in his arms. Hermione's lifeless body sitting at unnatural angles in his lap. Her wrists all tied up and covered in blood with bruises littered across her pale skin. The image never failed in making him a little sick to his stomach.

Her voice in his mind was altering between, "I love you," and, "Do it."

If she'd loved him at all, how had she told Moody to kill Voldemort when she must have known that she would die?

His hands tightened into fists at his side, and he felt the small black faceted stone press even deeper into his palm. She'd told him about the Resurrection Stone, and how it had allowed her to see Harry all those months ago. Had she known that it would bring her back? Or was she just hoping for the best?

All he knew was that nothing felt certain anymore, and his own mind was haunting him with every possible rhyme or reason behind her actions. Had she thought of him at all when she'd looked to Moody?

James's anger had dissolved as he'd watched the tortured expression twist his best friend's face into something ugly. It shouldn't be this hard for them. They'd won, they should be celebrating. Sirius and Hermione should be grateful and happier than they've ever been, and totally and completely in love.

James had always found it easy to tell his feelings. Rejection and unrequitedness be damned. Sirius and Hermione had both lost more in their lives than anyone he knew, and for them, feelings didn't seem to come easy. They lived in constant fear of giving too much and losing the other, or not giving enough and losing them anyway. It was an endlessly frustrating game they played, and James just knew that once they figured out that they were both deeply saddled in endless affection, their love would be one for the ages.

"She loves you, Sirius." His friends dark eyes darted up, and James couldn't read the masked look in his eyes. "And right now she needs to know that you love her too."

Sirius's eyes went to the door again and he said quietly, "But what about what I need to know?"

James frowned and whacked Sirius on the side of his head. "Just ask her, you clueless git!"

Before Sirius could even think about moving, James used all his strength to yank on his arm and pull her door open. In seconds, he'd tossed the protesting Sirius through the door and shut it behind him. He pulled his wand and put up just enough light wards that Sirius would get the message that he wouldn't be leaving her room until he figured it out with Hermione.

Lily turned the corner then with two complimentary cups of tea and a warm smile.

He clapped his hands together and smiled, "My work here is done."

She handed him the tea and glanced at the spot where Sirius had been before turning back to James with a sly look in her eyes. "Did you just toss him in there, James?"

James nodded happily before it dropped when she tsked at him.

"Oh, James." She shook her head at him, and he frowned. "You better hope this works. Otherwise you'll have both of the people with the biggest tempers known to man after you."

He paled. "Oh, shite!"

She thumped him on the head. "Language, Potter!"

* * *

Hermione swallowed a sob when she heard her door open and shut along with a few colorful strings of curses hissed under someone's breath.

She wiped at her eyes before throwing the thin scratchy blanket over her head to hide from whoever had come in to her room.

"Now's not a good time!"

Her voice was scratchy and muffled from the blanket, but she was sure she'd said it loud enough that the person had heard. She held her breath and waited as silence took over her room again. When no one spoke, she assumed they'd left again, and moved her blanket so that it was just below her nose with her fingers curled up gently on the hem. With her back to the door, she didn't see the person come up to the side of her bed before sinking slowly down onto the edge.

The shift in the bed startled her, and she turned her head abruptly, only to see Sirius facing away from her with his neck bent down to stare at his hands.

"Sirius?" Her voice wavered slightly, and she watched as his entire body tensed for a moment before relaxing even further into his slouch. He held one of his arms out in front of him like he was cradling an invisible form.

"I held you just like this, Hermione." His voice was hushed and just a touch below a normal whisper, and she thanked her Animagus training for her being able to hear him. She managed to push herself up, so that she was sitting just behind him. "That morning, you were standing in front of the floo and looking at me, and I remember thinking I'd never seen anything more beautiful than you smiling at me like that. You told me you loved me, and I-" His words got caught, and he shook himself before turning his head to the side to look at her. "I love you too, kitten. More than I've ever loved anything." She let her body collapse against him with her cheek resting against his shoulder blade, and her arms snaking around his sides.

"Oh, Sirius..." He craned his neck to press a kiss to her forearm before continuing.

"Then the next day, Dolohov was holding you, and you just told Moody to do it. I couldn't believe it. How could someone just leave me like that?" Her arms tightened around his waist. She had so much she wanted to say, but she knew how hard it was for Sirius to be vulnerable like this. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Have you ever held the person you love most in the world in your arms after they've taken their last breath? It's like some kind of sick joke. It hurts worse than anything I've ever felt before." She sniffled against his back, and he moved his arm from where it'd been to rest on top of hers. He brought his other hand up from his lap and slowly uncurled his fingers. Resting there was the Resurrection Stone. "Then they took you away, and I found this."

Hermione slowly moved her head around so that her cheek was pressed into his bicep. Her eyes widened, and she sucked in a harsh breath. She hadn't even thought about the possibility that she'd lost it. What if the wrong person had found it? How could she have been so careless?

"I guess, I just need to know if you were really ready to die and just leave me."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head to rest her forehead against his arm.

"I wasn't," she said quietly. She shook her head slightly. "When… When I died, I saw Ron and Harry. They gave me a choice. I could either come with them and be with everyone I'd loved from my future. Harry, Ron, the Weasleys. My _family._" She took a shaky breath, and he fought down his need to interject with the fact that she had a family here. "And then I thought of _you._" She pulled back and looked up into the sharp lines of the side of his face. "I thought about you and James and Remus and Lily. Dorea and Charlus. Regulus and Pandora. I realized that I would rather fight and face whatever is in our unsure future than go into the Burrow with Ron and Harry. I meant it Sirius. When I told you I wanted to live for you."

Sirius let out a breath and with it left every tense muscle in his body. He turned to look at her fully and shifted so that they were facing each other. His now sure hands went up to cradle her face tenderly between them. She was pale with chapped lips and a few yellowish bruises, but she'd never looked more perfect to him. Her bed-head and bleary eyes just made him want to hold her closer. He could never tire of looking at her. Of just being with her.

"I love you, Hermione."

She gave a laugh that sounded halfway like a sob and smiled up at him just like she had before she'd left for the cave. Merlin, he hoped she never stopped looking at him like that.

"I love you too, Sirius."

* * *

It took Hermione three more days to be cleared from St Mungos. When she did finally leave, Sirius walked with her as she walked to a particularly large tree that she favored when she spread out to read outside. He helped her dig a hole the muggle way. At the bottom, she placed a bunch of things that seemed random and meaningless to anyone but Hermione. A Chudley Canons player card, a Chocolate Frog, a copy of Hogwarts a History, the broken time-turner, one of James's old Quidditch jersey's with 'Potter' scrawled across the top, a dose of Wolfsbane, a small packet of chocolate powder, muggle cigarettes, a copy of the picture of her parents, a bottle of fire-whiskey, a letter she'd penned and kept the contents secret, and at the very bottom, the Resurrection Stone.

She'd collected everything in a small wooden box and watched as Sirius dug the hole so deep, that it went all the way up to the tops of her thighs. She, carefully levitated the box down before picking up the shovel to fill it up herself.

When he'd questioned her on the items she'd shrugged with a fake air of carelessness and said that she didn't have anything from her actual time, and those were the things that remained in her memory. She was ready to move on.

He hadn't asked any further questions, and instead allowed her to boss him around without any protests for once.

As soon as it was done, she'd cried over the patted down soil for an indeterminable amount of time as he'd held her close to him.

* * *

Hermione walked with her arm tucked into the crook of Dorea's elbow. Their sensible but stylish heels were clicking on the dark tile floors of the Ministry of Magic. Behind them were all their boys and Lily.

They'd all dressed to the nines, and as soon as they'd all stepped out of the floo in the Atrium, they'd been accosted by greedy reporters and loud flashes. Dorea walked on as if she didn't notice, but Hermione had to steel herself and focus hard on not stumbling. As this was her first public appearance since Voldemort's downfall, questions were flying at her from all directions.

"Miss Granger! How did one seventeen year-old witch defeat the darkest wizard in history!"

"Miss Granger! Miss Granger! What are your plans now that the Dark Lord is gone!"

"Will you continue to fight dark wizards!"

"Any love interests!"

"Miss Granger, why are you in the custody of the Potter's!"

"Where did you come from!"

Charlus after the last one had to come up on her other side to push the nosy reporters away so they could make it to the lifts. Waiting by the doors was a ministry official who smiled at them grimly before leading them on the journey to level ten. The long dark corridors reminded her of the dungeons in Lestrange Manor, and her grip on Dorea's elbow had tightened subconsciously until her knuckles were white. When they emerged into the opening of a grim courtroom, she took in a deep breath. They were given seats in the stands across from the Wizengamot, and Hermione sat stiffly in her spot trying to prepare herself for what was about to happen.

The quiet chatter in the courtroom was interrupted when a struggling form was dragged in by Aurors and chained to the seat in the middle of the room. The person's head whipped around to take in everything around him with his beady eyes before landing on the group sitting behind his right shoulder.

Peter Pettigrew looked worse than he ever had before. His skin was yellowish and sallow, and his hair was greasy and limp on his head. From this position, his chained arm left his marked wrist on display to everyone in the room. Hermione's lips thinned, and she stared down the rat with disdain and pity.

As soon as he saw Hermione, he averted his eyes in shame, and she registered Sirius's hiss and Remus's growl in the seats behind her. Her eyes didn't waver from him as he began to get questioned by Minister Minchum. When his involvement in the capture of Hermione was brought up, she was asked to take the stand and testify.

Hermione had prepared herself for this ever since she received the owl from Minchum asking if she'd like to testify at any of the trials. She'd decided to testify at just four. Regulus Black's, Peter Pettigrew's, Narcissa Malfoy's, and Bellatrix Lestrange's. Two of which were with the intention to save from unjust punishment, and two of which to make sure they never stepped foot outside of Azkaban again.

She stood and with a straight back, carefully made her way to the stand. As soon as she was seated, the questions began, and she made sure to never take her eyes off the quivering boy below her. She hadn't told anyone about everything she'd discovered about Peter. The former-friend had become a bit of a taboo topic to everyone involved.

"Miss Granger, when you regained unconsciousness in the cell, what information was discovered?"

She hardly recognized the hardness in her voice when she answered. "Peter was waiting for me on the other side of the bars. He'd been shadowing me at school under the Dark Lord's order which is when he'd overheard a private conversation between Regulus Black and myself."

"And what did this conversation entail?"

"Regulus was giving me information on something to aid in the defeat of Voldemort." The entire Wizengamot flinched at the name, but she continued on. "We'd forgotten our usual privacy measures, and he'd overheard part of our plan. He took that information to his _master_." She spat out the last word like it was the worst curse word in history, and she almost smiled when Peter jerked away from her despite the distance between them.

"How did he know where you would be the day of your mission?"

Hermione had briefed the Minister on the fact that there were simply details about her missions that she would never be able to speak of. There was no way she'd be speaking about Voldemort's Horcruxes in front of the entire Wizengamot, and the daft Minister had accepted her conditions with no hesitation.

"A few weeks before the end of term, he used a tripping jinx on me as I was walking down the stairs, and I broke my nose. He gave me a handkerchief to wipe the blood, and then used that handkerchief to perform a blood ritual that allowed him to track me."

The room burst into a fit of whispers at that. Blood Magic in itself was reason enough to be sentenced to a hefty stay in Azkaban, but she didn't want a heft stay, she wanted _life_.

The Minister didn't even have to prompt her for her to continue.

"In the dungeons, he told me he would've given up any of us if his precious Dark Lord asked."

Peter seemed to have a bit of a fit then. He jerked in his seat, but with limited mobility, he ended up just staying in the same place. His eyes held a dash of insanity when he screamed, "They would've killed me! If I didn't do it, they would've killed me!"

Hermione stood with her fists clenched tightly at her sides. Her hair was cackling, and her eyes were narrowed dangerously on him. "That's not completely true though, is it Peter?" She tilted her head to the side, and when his expression just grew confused, she hissed, "They promised you things, didn't they? Voldemort told you if you did as he told you'd have everything you ever wanted. Glory? Riches? What was it you wanted, Peter? What was worth it to you? Worth my life? Or Sirius's? James's? Lily's? Remus's?"

She watched as Peter's face melted into a look of complete shame and panic.

"Yeah, hit that one on the head didn't I?"

The Wizengamot broke into another rush of whispers as Hermione took her seat again, and the same harsh expression from before resurfaced. When it silenced, she said the last thing she had planned on saying.

"After I was brought back to my cell, he was responsible for giving me a nearly deadly dose of the Emerald Potion every few hours to keep me immobile and delirious."

After that the Minister had dismissed her from the stand, and she'd returned hastily to her seat. Before she could take the spot in between Dorea and Charlus, she was pulled into Sirius's lap. He held her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his chin resting on top of her shoulder. He didn't move, save the small patterns he was making with his thumbs, for the remainder of the trial. At the end, Peter was sentenced to life in Azkaban with special accommodations so that he would never be able to escape in his rat form.

The following three trials were significantly shorter. Bellatrix's was harder than the rest. They'd asked for pensieve memories for that one, and Hermione had had to sit there as the members of the Wizengamot had dived into her deepest and most painful memories. When they pulled out, some had to excuse themselves with bouts of nausea, and she'd immediately been sentenced to the same thing as Peter. Narcissa had been let go with a large fee and monitoring charm placed on her wand. Regulus had been released of every charge and been given and Order of Merlin Second Class, but he would forever have that mark burned into his skin.

A couple weeks later when Severus Snape took the stand Sirius, Regulus, and James had all testified. He was released with a punishment similar to Narcissa's, and a life debt owed to the Marauders.

* * *

A Ministry ball was held just a week after the last Death Eater trial, and after Hermione and every other Order member had been given their awards, and Minister Minchum had given a speech on the bright future of the Wizarding World, the floor was opened for the first dance.

Hermione hadn't wanted to do it. She'd been asked to start the dance by the Minister, and she'd already penned her letter to decline when Dorea had incinerated it in front of every member of the house and told her she would be accepting. James and Lily had both giggled like school children. Remus and Regulus had snorted, and Sirius had given her a wolfish smile that made her think he wasn't all that opposed to the idea. When Hermione continued to refuse, Dorea had told her that if she didn't do this, she would not be allowed to return to Hogwarts for her Seventh Year. Hermione had stared at her in shock for a few moments before bursting into a fit of giggles at the idea that Dorea would hold her back from her education just because she refused to dance. It was so motherly and _Dorea_ that she'd begrudgingly agreed.

Which was how she found herself stood in the middle of a vast floor in a pretty lavender floor-length dress and strappy silver heels. Sirius stood before her in black robes and a matching lavender and paisley waistcoat.

He'd been extremely excited to dance with Hermione in front of everyone. She looked stunning with her slightly tanned skin and natural hair. Her lips were painted a soft pink color, and she was smiling at him in _that _way. He didn't even notice all of the witches and wizards staring at them as they began their dance because all he could see was her, and she was _beautiful_.

She looked up at him through her dark lashes and whispered something that still made his heart beat stupidly hard in his chest.

"I love you, Sirius."

He hoped she never stopped saying that. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on top of her curls before pulling her closer and whispering in her ear.

"I love you too, kitten. Always."

_**The End**_

* * *

**AN: Well… kinda sad it's over. **

**But not to worry. There's a lovely little epilogue in your future.**

**Thank you forever and always for the follows, favorites and reviews! Love you guys long time. Hope you enjoyed this story, and I hope you'll head over and check out my other ones.**

**Thank you!**


	41. Epilogue

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything!**

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

_1 June 1978 - one year later_

Everyone had always assumed it'd be James who popped the question to his witch first, but Sirius was a man who knew what he wanted. A year and a half with Hermione Granger wasn't enough. He wanted forever.

That's why on the day of graduation he set up a whole big thing with a twenty-seven step process that would eventually lead to Hermione finding him behind _her _rock on the grounds with a simple but elegant ring in his fingers and a knee in the dirt. He should've honestly expected what actually happened. She wouldn't be his witch if she hadn't figured out what was happening at Step One. Step One was one of his favorites. It involved James, a permanent sticking charm, and calla lilies.

But instead of it going as plan, everyone involved in the process ended up abandoning their posts and following Hermione on her rampage down to the grounds.

He couldn't help but grin at her when she slammed the doors to the castle open and stormed through the grass in her graduation robes and heels. Behind her was a huge procession of people. Their family, professors, students, and even the Minister who was there to give a speech at the ceremony. He'd just stood there and smiled stupidly at her as her calla lily filled hair flew everywhere, and everyone was yelling different excuses at him about their failed plans.

His confident smile didn't even waver as she started dressing him down for sticking James to the ceiling (who freed him by the way?). As she was mid-rant about how he, 'really shouldn't do these things' and 'do you think anything through," he dropped to one knee right in front of her and just held the ring up without any words.

She stopped, blushed down to her collar bones, and attempted to tuck some of her wild curls behind her ears. This, of course, just ended in one of the petals falling and landing right at the end of her pert nose. She sneezed the most adorable sneeze ever before turning a glare on James. It was only then that she realized just how _large _the crowd that had followed her was. When she turned back to him, his gaze had melted into that soft intensity he often held when he just looked at her. Her eyes darted from his eyes to the ring pinched between two of his fingers a few times. So maybe she hadn't figured out the _entire _plan. At least not the last step.

"You ruined my twenty-seven step plan, kitten," he said in amusement.

Her eyes widened and she whispered in disbelief, "Twenty-seven?"

He grinned. "It was originally fifty-six, but Remus told me to cut it down by at least half." He sighed and gave Moony a mock pout before turning back to her. "So… do you want to do this thing?"

Any other girl would've whacked him over his head for his terminology, but instead she broke into a watery laugh that had him grinning even wider somehow.

"Merlin, do I," she said in a rush, and he'd barely had the ring on her finger before she was throwing her arms around him. He stood with her in his arms, her feet dangling, head tossed back in laughter, and he threw one fist in the air.

"She said yes!"

The crowd didn't need to be told twice. They were yelling in excitement, Dorea was crying, and Lily was snogging James. It was perfect.

* * *

_15 July 1978_

Sirius and Hermione had just returned to their flat in Wizarding London from Pandora and Xenophilius's rather… interesting… wedding.

He was sitting on his now favorite armchair with a tumbler of fire whiskey, and she was relaxed against his chest on his lap with a novel open in front of her. She hadn't turned the page since she'd sat down half an hour ago. Sirius was dead tired. He'd started his training with Moody to be an auror, and it was difficult to say the least.

He set his tumbler down and snaked a hand across her ribs to pull her closer to his chest. She was wearing one of his old jerseys, and it swallowed her to the point that the sleeve was always slipping off her shoulder. He pressed open mouthed kisses across her bare shoulder blade before resting his chin there.

"What's on your mind, kitten?"

She sighed and set the book down next to his fire whiskey before slipping off his lap to stand in front of him. She was shifting on her fuzzy sock covered feet and tugging nervously on a curl that had escaped the bun on top of her head. The hand on her hair had the ring he'd given her glinting off one of her fingers. He loved seeing her wear it. He had to consciously stop himself from snatching her up and carrying her to their bedroom.

"I think I've finally decided what to do, Sirius."

All thoughts of their bedroom slipped from his mind as he sat at attention and raised an eyebrow. Hermione had faced offers from many different people as far as careers go. Ministry positions, Mastery Programs, Gringott's, and Private Investigating firms were just a few. She took every offer that arose very seriously and would do the proper research and inquiries as she took them into consideration, but they always ended up with her sighing and declining the offer. None of them had been quite right, so the fact that she was coming to him to say she had decided was major.

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

She slowly met his eyes before giving him a soft and happy smile. "I got an owl from McGonagall yesterday. They're looking for a new Transfiguration Professor."

Sirius's face immediately split into a huge grin. Hermione spending her life imparting knowledge on students was _so _perfect, he almost couldn't believe it. He stood and wrapped her in his arms before pulling back to pepper her face with kisses.

"I think you're the perfect person for that Hermione."

She smiled at him nervously as a pleased brush spread across her cheeks. He loved making her blush. "Yeah?" She asked breathily.

He tugged on one of her curls affectionately before pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. "I don't think you realize how many fantasies that would fulfill, Professor Granger," he whispered against the shell of her ear.

She grinned and winked, "Actually, I'm thinking Professor Black has a much better ring to it."

* * *

_18 August 1978_

In lieu of Hermione's decision to start work at Hogwarts that very year, her and Sirius had decided to have their small wedding just a couple months after the proposal. Dorea had thrown a fit at first, but then she'd thrown herself into the wedding planning to the point where it was perfect and exceeded all of Hermione's expectations.

Hermione never quite imagined herself getting married at eighteen, and especially not to her once best friend's godfather in the year 1978. She never could've dreamt that this is where her life would've taken her.

Hermione stood in front of the full length mirror surrounded by her bridal party, trying to quell her nerves. Her dress was a simple a-line cut with thin straps and a modest v neck-line. The fabric was a creamy off-white silk that draped across her legs so that every step she took just a peak of her legs would show. Around her neck, she was wearing the dragon pendant, and her curls were cascading down her back naturally with just the front pinned back. Pandora had braided white snapdragons and hydrangeas into her hair, and Lily had applied the lightest of make-up to where she just had blush color painted on her lips and her eyelashes darkened. From her ears hung a simple pair of sapphire earrings that had been a gift from Dorea. She'd opted to go barefoot, much to the chagrin of Dorea, but Pandora had said it made her look ethereal. And seeing as the wedding was being held on the grounds of Potter Manor, she couldn't quite imagine herself walking down the grass aisle in any sort of heel.

"You look beautiful, Hermione," Lily gushed tearily from her place beside her. Lily, Marlene, and Pandora as her bridesmaids were dressed in simple green gowns, and when Hermione turned to look at them her eyes began to water also.

"Is it normal to be this nervous?" She asked Dorea who stood in front of Hermione in gorgeous dress-robes.

Dorea gave her an indulgent smile, "I promise, I was easily this nervous at my own wedding."

Hermione let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and pressed her hands to her chest.

"Thinking about leaving Sirius at the aisle?" Hermione spun and grinned at the two men standing in the doorway. James was grinning cheekily, and Remus was smiling at her warmly.

"James! Remus!"

Lily put her hands on her hips and glared at the two. "What are you guys doing here? Sirius better not be hiding behind you!" When Hermione had said strongly that her only request for the wedding was for it to be a traditional muggle ceremony, superstitions and all, no one had argued with her.

Remus lifted his hands in the air and said, "Sirius has been warded into a room, the eager prat."

Dorea placed her hands on Pandora's and Lily's shoulders and started to lead them out of the room. "How about we give them a moment, girls?"

When the door shut soundly behind them, Hermione turned her watery eyes on the two boys in front of her and swung her arms out.

"What do you think?"

Not even a second later they were both surrounding her in a hug.

"You look beautiful, Hermione," James said softly. She pulled away from the two to smile up at him happily.

"Thank you, James." She looked up at Remus then to see him giving her a wistful sort of smile. James leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before backing up towards the door again.

"Best go make sure your groom isn't trying to blast through the door!"

Hermione giggled as James disappeared out of the room, and his yelling could be heard from down the hall. She turned back to Remus when she felt a pull on one of her loose curls. The glint in his eyes had her sucking in a deep breath.

"Remus?"

His eyes met hers and the warm green color brought her the same wave of comfort it always did. "I imagine you're the most beautiful bride I'll ever see," he said quietly.

Hermione's tears finally ran down her cheeks, and she crushed herself against him. His nose automatically went to her hair, and he took a deep breath. Hermione leant her cheek against his chest as she whispered, "Someone is out there for you, Remus. And when they walk down the aisle towards you, I won't hold any grudge when I take second."

She pulled back and placed her hands on his cheeks.

"In fact, I know of someone who has had a bit of a raging crush on you since your second year," she said conspiratorially.

His eyebrows rose in shock. "Who could possibly?"

Hermione smiled kindly at him and rocked back on her heels. Her fingers laced in front of her. "I also happened to invite this certain person to the wedding upon seeing that you hadn't filled the plus one on your invite."

Remus shifted and looked mildly uncomfortable then. When he didn't inquire about it further, she took it upon herself.

"A very clever and beautiful Gryffindor by the name of Mary Macdonald." Remus just looked confused.

"Mary? But Peter…" He cut himself off by pressing his lips thinly together. During their seventh year, Hermione had decided to finally share a room with the other Gryffindor girls and consequently grown quite close to the girls in her dorm. Mary was brave, affectionate, and intelligent, and she had blonde wavy hair and deep blue eyes. Hermione couldn't think of anyone more perfect for her loving and kind friend than Mary. None of the Marauders had even looked at Mary because of the feelings Peter had harbored for her all those years.

"Mary never liked Peter, Remus," Hermione said quietly. "Turns out she was too busy admiring you."

Remus blushed down to his roots, and Hermione grinned. Just then there was a knock on the door, and Charlus poked his head in.

"Ready, Tiger?"

Hermione nodded nervously and leaned up to place kisses on both of Remus's cheeks. "You better ask her to dance, Remus!"

He mock saluted her before kissing her curls and making his way out the door.

Hermione took a deep breath and took Charlus's elbow.

Once they had made it to the aisle she didn't know how she'd been nervous at all. Sirius looked dashingly handsome in his muggle suit and green waistcoat. The flowers on his lapel matched the ones in her hair, and he was smiling at her with wet eyes.

She couldn't stop the huge smile that spread across her face her entire walk down the aisle, nor the light pink blush that coated her cheeks.

The traditional muggle ceremony was like a fairy tale, and the reception afterwards was a party for the ages. They danced and sipped on champagne, and Sirius didn't leave her side the entire evening. Regulus found himself being pulled into dances by multiple witches, and Hermione found immense joy in his clear discomfort. Remus did, in fact, ask Mary to dance. James and Lily stayed happily attached throughout, and when the night finished with a grand proposal from James, Hermione couldn't be happier.

* * *

_18 August 1979_

Hermione stood pacing in the cottage her and Sirius had moved into at the beginning of the summer. It was in Godric's Hollow just a street over from James and Lily, and in Hermione's eyes it was perfect. Sirius was changing after work before they were due to leave for their reservation to celebrate their one year.

She was wearing a nice soft blue cocktail dress with sensible heels and modest jewelry. Her heels were clicking against the hardwood floor of their den, and she was mumbling softly under her breath when strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind to stop her track.

"What's bothering you, kitten?"

Hermione sighed and relaxed her weight against her husband. "Blast," she mumbled.

Sirius pulled away and glanced down at her. "Is everything alright?"

Hermione shifted nervously and looked up at him through her lashes. "I wanted to tell you at the restaurant," she said with a pout.

Sirius grinned and rubbed a thumb against her protruding lip. "Well now you have to tell me."

Hermione sighed and took a step back. A hand went to her stomach absent-mindedly, and Sirius's eyes tracked the movement.

"Are you feeling alright, Hermione? Do you want me to cancel the reservation?"

She had been feeling rather ill lately. Trouble keeping down food, and she had been tiring quickly. Hermione had told him it was just a bug, but lately he'd been pushing her to go to St Mungos. She waved him off again, but she still looked a little green.

"What's your news?" He probed.

She slowly raised her eyes again to look at him and took a few deep breaths. Instead of saying anything she took one of his hands from her cheek and moved it down to her stomach.

"Hermione?" He questioned, but then it hit him. Tired. Sick in the mornings. News. His eyes widened and searched her face, and she just nodded.

"You're going to be a dad, Sirius," she whispered tearily.

Sirius stood there in shock. They hadn't been trying for a baby, that was for sure. They used the charm, and they'd never talked about if they were ready or not. Once the shock wore off, a smile slowly began to spread across his face. A _baby._ Sirius was going to be a dad.

When he didn't say anything, Hermione started to ramble as she was prone to doing. "I know this is unexpected and scary, but I'm kind of excited. I'm two months along according to the Medi-witch, so I think it must have happened the night of James and Lily's wedding. We must've forgotten the charms. We were pretty drunk, you know? But I can take maternity leave for the second term of this year to take care of the baby. I've already talked to McGonagall about it, and she said I could take as long as I needed because McGonagall herself can fill my position. I was thinking we could turn the guest bedroom next to ours into the nursery? I… well… please say something, Sirius," she begged.

Sirius laughed then before putting a hand over his mouth and dropping to his knees. He pressed kisses all along her stomach before wrapping his arms around the base of her spine to push his cheek to her flat belly.

"A dad," he whispered.

Hermione let out a watery laugh and ran her hands through his hair, "You're going to be the _best_ dad, Sirius."

He gave a shaky sob against her body, and her entire body shook with him. "You think so?"

Her nails scraped against his scalp, and he shivered. "Of this, I am completely certain."

He pressed his forehead into her abdomen and said, "A baby." He laughed joyously, "We're having a baby!"

He kissed her stomach one more time before jumping up and pulling her into a searing kiss. It was watery and they both were smiling into it, but Sirius swore it was one of their best kisses. The emotions and feelings were beyond anything he'd felt before. He was married to the most wonderful witch on the planet, and she was having his baby.

They never made it to their reservation, and rather spent the rest of the evening making promises to each other about the kind of parents they were going to be.

* * *

_21 February 1980 _

On Hermione's last day of teaching before she left for Maternity leave, she received the most unexpected surprise.

Her water broke in the middle of her sixth year transfiguration class. She'd been standing behind her desk rubbing her aching back as she described a very difficult charm when she'd paused at the feeling of a slight trickle of fluids running down her leg. The baby wasn't supposed to be due for three weeks.

After a few seconds of silence in which Hermione's face went very pale and every student stared at her in confusion, a particularly loud Hufflepuff had pointed at her accusingly and yelled.

"Professor Black is having her baby!"

Hermione didn't know how the student had known, but she didn't even question it because seconds after that, she felt her first contraction. It was like cramps but worse. It took the breath out of her, and she swayed towards her desk with her palm flat down.

"Quite right, Mister Thorne. Now if you don't mind, I need some assistance getting to the floo in my office," she said as calmly as she could through gritted teeth.

Almost immediately, every student in the room jumped to their feet and ran toward her desk.

Two students wrapped their arms around her in support, and led her slowly up the stairs in her classroom to her office.

Sirius had been at their cottage at home, painting the nursery the muggle way as a surprise for Hermione when he heard someone yelling from downstairs.

"Mister Black!"

He ran down the stairs only to see an unfamiliar and panicked face staring at him from the embers.

"Mister Black, Professor Black is having her baby!"

Sirius paled. "But it's too early!"

The boy mumbled something before he disappeared and Hermione was staring at him. "Get your sorry arse here right now, Sirius! Get the baby bag and the portkey!"

Sirius had retrieved an emergency portkey to St Mungos for when the baby came just yesterday.

"Oh shite!" He scrambled out of the room and sprinted for the baby bag Hermione had put together months in advance and the small child's shoe that was their portkey.

As soon as he flooed through he saw his wife surrounded by a crowd of twenty or so teenagers. She was rubbing her stomach and taking deep breaths. When her head snapped up to his, her cheeks were flushed, and there was a panicked look in her eyes.

He ran toward her and threw the strap of the bag over his shoulder before lifting her into his arms. He ignored the mixture of reactions from her students and instead activated the portkey.

Hermione's labor was long. Longer than normal apparently. It was nearly sixteen hours of screaming and crying and worried friends and family. Sirius had been a nervous wreck the entire time, but one look at a crying Hermione had him putting on his bravest face. And then in the early hours of February 22, 1980, a screaming baby was brought into the world.

Despite the fact that the baby was three weeks early and the labor was one of the longest in Wizarding history, the baby and Hermione were both in perfect health.

When a grinning Sirius emerged in the nearly full waiting room everyone let out all the tension in their body. Everyone was exhausted, but when Sirius asked if they'd like to meet the baby, they all jumped to their feet. Sirius led them quickly to Hermione's room and took his place beside her on the bed.

Somehow, Hermione looked even more beautiful than ever as she held their baby in her arms. She was flushed and her hair was all over the place, but he had never looked at something and felt so much love.

Dorea, Charlus, James, Lily, Remus, Mary, and Regulus all filled the room and looked at the exhausted woman cradling a small squirming baby in her arms.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Lyra Jean Black," Hermione said sleepily.

The large group of people gathered around the bed, and looked down at the small face cradled against Hermione's chest.

Even as a baby, she was beautiful. She had a small tuff of black curls on the top of her head and an adorably pert nose. When she blinked open her eyes, it was to see that she had Hermione's honey-brown eyes.

Dorea reached down and Lyra's small fingers reached for just one of Dorea's. All the women in the room (and James) cooed at that.

"She's beautiful," Charlus said happily.

Sirius gently ran the tip of his finger down her cheek and smiled softly at her. He leaned over and kissed the corner of Hermione's lips.

"She is, isn't she? Looks just like her mum."

A pregnant Lily shuffled forward and sniffled. When she looked down at her little niece as she'd taken to calling her, she broke into full blown sobs. Her hands went to her own stomach and she said brokenly, "I'm sorry. She's just_ so_ beautiful." Lily took a deep breath and started fanning herself when James wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

He waved a hand with a goofy grin and said, "Hormones."

Lily smacked him on the arm, and everyone in the room laughed.

Some things would always be the same.

* * *

**AN: I hope this epilogue satisfied all of you! It's been a good run! Now onto new and exciting stories:)**


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